Randoooom SNL Quote Thread...

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Kids, why dont behave yourselves and get off of the shed?

Kids, why dont you come over here with the rest of us and get off of the shed?

There will be a meeting between my foot and your ass if you dont get off of the shed!!! Now GET OFF THE SHED!!!

I will punch you in the face if you dont get off of the shed, GET OFF THE SHED!!!!
 
This is how you answer a door in my neighborhood boys and girls... WHO IS IT??????
 
What the hell is that?

What the hell is that thing?

What in THE hell is that?

Oh I know what that is......WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?

Hey you, get away from that thing. No, dont put your lips on it!!

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING?
 
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Not gonna do it, not gonna do it. Wouldnt be prudent in this juncture.
 
bears... bears... bears... bulls... bulls... bulls... ditka... ditka... dikta...

-ditka vs. da hurricane? who would win?
-what if the hurricane was named ditka?

-how may heartattacks is that now?
-that would be da baker's dozen...

daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa bulls da bulls da bulls da bulls da bulls...
 
well maybe i don't "look the part"
i'm not "svelt"
i don't "look comfortbale on camera"
i don't "understand what's going on in the news"
i'm not "likeable"
i don't "get along with people"
i don't "wear the latest clothes"
or even ones that "don't reek"
i don't "change my underwear"
i don't "exercise"
and when i do sweat i don't "shower"
i don't "clean my crotch"
i "make baby's cry"
i... i'm flying... i'm flying!!! holy schnikes somebody save me
 
Hot tub, gonna make ya hot, gonna work up a sweat.
Hot tub, gonna get ya hot, gonna make ya wet.

Should I get in the hot tub?
Yeah!!
Is it gonna make me sweat?
Yeah!
Should I get in the hot tub?
Yeah!!
Is it gonna make me wet?
Yeah!!

Well, well, well....

OOOWWWW! Too hot in the hot tub.
I cant stand it, but I gotta get in the hot tub.
 
This just goes to prove my theory that Germans love David Hasselhoff.
 
Hey dad, who do we got over there? Is that Bill Shakespear?

Actually Matt, we encourage him writing.

Dad, why dont you do me a favor and SHUT YOUR YOUR TRAPHOLE!!
 
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Could I interest you in a glass of champagne?

Can I remove my coat? Please, let me do this gentlemanly thing for you. I insist. Ohh, wow. Wow. Wowwee zow wow wow! Forgive me, I was admiring your bosom. Come let me get you champagne.
 
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and your final jeopardy category is?
food
any food will do... just write it down...
so, burt reynolds

turd fergeson...

ok... turd fergeson

haha... that's a funny name

no it isn't... look whatever. what did you write? Miso. well i'm sorry mr. reynolds as much as you tried to lose, miso is actually a russian soup. now let's see what you wagered... Horny. Miso Horny. I'm stupified. Let's move on to Sean Connery...

SUCK IT TREBEK!
 
You dare mock me? The master of Darkness? The great evil one? You monkeys. I will rip open your monkey bellies and pull out your monkey bowels, and I will feast on your monkey innards.

If it were me big guy, I'd work on getting down eating grapes before I moved on to "monkey innards".

Did you my ears just mistake me, or did you monkies just refer to me as "big guy"? Me the master of darkness. Me the great hell beast. Me the creater of evil? Me the, the, the...

The lover of the word monkey?
 
I'll take swords for 100.

No, that's S-Words Mr. Connery. Words that begin with the letter s.

Swords is a word that begins with s.




I'll take the rapists for 500.

That's therapists.
 
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