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Zoomerang96

ONE love, blood, life
Joined
Jun 22, 2000
Messages
14,298
Location
canada
when your love lets you go, you only want love more even when love's not what you're looking for.

so here's a personal ad, please contact me if you're interested in love. i'll make all your wildest dreams come true.

----

swm in dead-end job seeks unattractive neurotic for mutual psychological torture, unsatisfying and uncomfortable sex, and co-dependency.

i enjoy drinking, smoking, pornography, and self-righteous indignation.

i can't stand movies, and the last album i bought was the starland vocal band's "from us to you - our very best bsides!".

i have middling intelligence but try to appear smarter by affecting a world-weary air, memorizing useless facts, and chuckling at my own mean-spirited, agenda-driven jokes.

i'm 23 but i look 40 and i feel 60.

you are a whiny, bitter shrew with a misplaced sense of entitlement and unrealistic expectations. in time you will become cold and hostile when i don't fulfill every unmet need you've ever had.

bonus points if you just finished screwing every guy in town and now want to take it slow with me.

my perfect night would include getting hammered in a shit-hole bar while you flirt with seedy old drunks, followed by an embarrassing screaming match.

i would be open to an unsatisfying fling that leaves me filled with regret and dread but prefer a long-term, soul crushing descent into booze and pills.

no friendships whatsoever.

age unimportant, but i will condescend to women under 30 and rehash mother issues with women over 40.

serious replies only, please.
 
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[q]bonus points if you just finished screwing every guy in town and now want to take it slow with me.

my perfect night would include getting hammered in a shit-hole bar while you flirt with seedy old drunks, followed by an embarrassing screaming match.[/q]

no thanks, I have already dated you.
 
it's called lowering your expectations to a reasonable and highly unsatisfying level.
 
seriously though, if you saw this ad in a newspaper wouldn't you wanna look the person up?
 
I look forward to many long awkward silences with you, Zoomerang96. I am 38, look 98, and feel 158. But on the plus side, my pack-an-hour smoking habit keeps my instincts honed to a sharp edge.

I am an excellent conversationalist.
 
Damn it Jim, this thread is well, like a desperate pleas for help. Cmon people, cant you see it?
Sleep with the boy and put him out of his sexually frustrated misery.

:|
 
Kieran McConville said:
I look forward to many long awkward silences with you, Zoomerang96. I am 38, look 98, and feel 158. But on the plus side, my pack-an-hour smoking habit keeps my instincts honed to a sharp edge.

I am an excellent conversationalist.

if i could be with anyone, i'd be with you

nited airlines. their air mile reward miles program can't be beat.
 
nited airlines!!???

WHAT IS THAT@!!!!

WHAT@@@!!!

TELL ME ZOOMERANG96!!!!

WHAT IS IT!!!!

TELL ME NOW, WHAT THIS AIRLINE IS!!!
 
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