NBA Playoff Time...

[Headache in a Suitcase]

You need to find 2 things...a picture of pornstar Ron Jeremy aka the hedgehog, and a sense of humor, then maybe you'll see what I'm talking about.

zing!

3 degrees of seperation... stan van gundy played college basketball for SUNY Brockport, who's oh so illustrius list of former players includes headache in a suitcase, who is from long island, where ron jeremy was born and raised. i win.

by the end of that cluster-F of a series the lakers were starting devon george and slava medvedenko... malone was a complete non factor in the series, barely played in games 3 and 4 and was in civi's for game 5. he couldn't jump. not like he was ever shawn kemp in his prime, but we're talking here about a 6'8" guy who could not dunk because of the pain in his knee. 6'8". i'm 6'3" and 30 pounds overweight and i can still dunk. he's a 6'8" high quality athlete, and he was in too much pain to even attempt it. that should tell you about what malone's worth was.

gary payton has been done for 3 years, he just doesn't realize it.

i can throw bill russell and walt clyde frazier out on the court right now and claim to have a bunch of hall of famers on my team, it doesn't mean they can still play.

last year's lakers ran into a perfect combo of age, injury and selfishness... did they have more talent than this year's heat? i imagine you could argue that yes, on paper, they did. but if we want to use the ole "on paper" argument, the lakers had more talent than the pistons, too. and as we know, on paper means shit.

can the pistons beat the heat, even with a healthy shaq? yes. anything can be done. in a year that's seen a 50-1 shot and a 71-1 shot finish 1-2 in the derby, phil mickleson finally win a major, roy williams win a championship and the red sox win the world series... you really can't say that something is impossiable anymore. but would i bet on it? ummmm nooo. not even a penny. not even your penny.

fortunatly enough, shaq is hurt. no one's really quite sure how hurt he is. so frankly, for the pistons sake, they should really want to close out the pacers tonight (who, btw, would probably be winning this series if they had ron artest) so as not to give shaq any more time to rest.

now is kobe bryant better than dwayne wade? yes... as much as i hate kobe, you have to say that, if only on reputation alone. but wade is certainly no slouch himself. and the difference maker is that wade is not going to launch 30 outside, fall away jumpers per game like kobe did last year. completely different type of player. the same defensive game plan that larry brown used last year... i.e. we're not stopping shaq anyway so let him get his and put all the pressure on kobe, who's just gonna chuck it up despite being triple teamed anyway... won't work.

and finally... back to the "lakers had more talent than the heat" thing... i believe we should heed the example of the Chicago Bulls of the 1990s. it's not about how many hall of famers you have... how many superstars are on the court. it's about having players to compliment your stars. who did the bulls have after jordan and pippen? ron harper? steve kerr? bj armstrong? bill wennington? will purdue? luc longley? jon paxson? horace grant? bill cartwright? come on... not exactly hall of fame material there. dennis rodman... a "superstar" by name and potential hall of famer, worked so well because he filled a role and a need. he was a star, yes... but the reality was he was simply the ultimate role player. the heat's players compliment their two stars perfectly... with a dominating x-factor in alonzo mourning, who can come in and be the old alonzo for 15-20 minutes a game... just enough to give shaq the rest he needs. last year's laker team did not have this. shaq, udonis haslem, alonzo mourning, michael doleac & christian lattener is vastly superior to shaq, slava medvedenko and brian shaw. karl malone was so hurt and ineffective, i won't even include him. he was an absolute shell of his former self.


but it all rests on shaq... if shaq can't go, or if shaq is severly limited... the pistons will win. if he's healthy, miami wins.

 

[namkcuR]

Pistons won tonight, taking the series 4-2 vs Indiana.

Reggie Miller got a multi-minute standing ovation when he sat down for the last time.

That makes it official:

2005 Eastern Conference Finals

(1)Miami Heat vs (2)Detroit Pistons

Let the record show that Headache picks the Heat to win and that I pick the Pistons to win.

Good luck to all.

 

[diamond]

[B]Ive changed my mind. Now on Phx band wagon[/B]

Even with his stupid hair, this kid has earned my respect after last night's performance. :

old pic..

He does have mad game, a little sloppy but, still mad game.

He won me over, on to the Western Conf Finals where real B-Ball is played. :

db9

 

[U2@NYC]

Go Spurs! Go Manu!

 

[diamond]

 

[Headache in a Suitcase]

Pistons won tonight, taking the series 4-2 vs Indiana.

Reggie Miller got a multi-minute standing ovation when he sat down for the last time.

That makes it official:

2005 Eastern Conference Finals

(1)Miami Heat vs (2)Detroit Pistons

Let the record show that Headache picks the Heat to win and that I pick the Pistons to win.

Good luck to all.

let the record show that Headache picks the Heat to win if Shaq is healthy... without him the Heat are useless. With him, they beat up on the pistons.

now we know shaq isn't 100%, and won't be probably until after the playoffs... so if detroit really is as good as the same experts who said they sucked before they ran into the kobe train last june say they are, they should have no problems what-so-ever getting past the Heat...

i shall be watching quite closely...

if shaq can put up 20 & 10, the heat will win the series.

 

[Headache in a Suitcase]

More and more I'm starting to side with Ron Artest...Allen Iverson hit with a coin thrown by a Detroit knucklehead Tuesday night. Fortunately the igno was caught and faces a possible 90 days in jail and $500 fine (thats 2000 quarters buddy).

They should force the Pissed-ons to play their home games in an empty arena. Maybe if the Pissed-ons forfeited the next game where one of their "fans" throws something at an opposing player, the morons in the Motor City would start to smarten up.

i wonder if anyone will try to throw something at shaq...

 

[Hewson]

Game 1, Tayshaun Princess made Dwayne Wade Boggs look a lot like Koberapist...7 for 25.
Shaq got 20, but only 5 boards and the Heat got stomped.

 

[speedracer]

Props also to Rashweed Wallace, who played solid defense all game and scored 20.

 

[Headache in a Suitcase]

rashweed's the only pissed-on i actually like... i'm a fan of crazy.

shaq's leg is bad... i don't want to hear a thing about how he scored 20 points... he had 8 of those points in the first 5 minutes of the game and was effectively a non factor from that point on. he couldn't rebound. he's shaq, and he can't rebound. he's useless. they should bring him off the bench and hope they can get enough out of alonzo... who you could tell was major league pissed off at the calls the pistons were getting last night. the pistons have been getting those calls all year. they push off on every single offensive possession and they hammer people on defense. so does shaq when he's healthy. you either adjust to it or quit your bitching. when you whine about it, you accomplish nothing, and you get to wear a special skirt from the tony dungy clothing line. i also think doleac and lattener should play... for two reasons. a) to give one thigh man and one kidney man even more rest... and b) to draw out the pistons defense. both doleac and lattener have above average jumpers for big men. having them in the game could draw ben wallace out of the lane, helping wade and dooling get to the basket easier.

eddie jones quietly kept the Heat in the game. check those stats... 22 and 8, 9 of 13 from the floor, 3 of 4 from downtown. took nothing but good shots off ball reversals. he could be key as this series moves along.

the heat made their big run to get back in the game when dwayne "kobe junior" wade was on the bench. dwayne needs to realize, and realize fast, that the pistons defense is too long for him to take the kind of shots he was taking. when he was on the bench, the heat swung the ball, rather than watch wade go one-on-one, which is impossiable against this team. they swung the ball, and low and behold, got shots... 'cause as everyone who's ever played the game knows, good, clean, crisp ball movement will beat any defense... it's simple physics. the ball moves faster than the player does. you move the ball well, someone will get open... doesn't mean you'll hit the shot, and a good defensive team like detroit will close out well on the open man and not allow for second chance opportunities... but the shots will be there. trying to take on tayshaun prince, ben & rashweed wallace one-on-one is simply a practice in futility.

now all that being said... the heat played like garbage... and it was still a 3 point game with 1:30 left (oh and by the way.... if udonis haslem ever takes a 15 foot jumper off a pick-and-roll in crunch time again, he should be permanently shackled to the bench... that is not the shot you need at that point... at home, with a team on the ropes that also hasn't been able to score in 5 minutes. you need to work the ball a little... anyhoo).

the heat played like shit, and it was still a one possesion game with under 2 minutes to go. if shaq isn't healthy... which he obviously isn't, and won't be until he gets a good month of rest... which he can't until their season ends... thus then... yea... the western conference winner will smoke whoever wins this series... and with a severly limited shaq, you'd have to assume the pistons will win...

...and on to those pistons... they again proved that they can't score. especially ben wallace. if their offense for the rest of this series revolves around rasheed banging 4 of 6 from down town and prince posting up, they actually are going to put themselves in a position to lose a series that frankly, with shaq the way he is, they shouldn't lose. wade won't play this horrificly bad again, and sheed isn't going to go nuts from downtown again. add a few to wade and subtract a few from rasheed, and all of a sudden the heat are in the lead with 1:30 to go, not detroit.

carlos "don't call me bronson" arroyo had 7 assists in 10 minutes. chauncey "i managed to do absolutley nothing in this game and still end up with 18 points" billups had 5 assits in 46 minutes. detroit's putrid offense runs better with arroyo on the floor... he actually swings the ball. god forbid.

if i were larry brown, i'd be bald. also... i would play ben wallace less and play antonio mcdyess a hell of a lot more. shaq can't rebound and he can't play defense... but if he's guarding ben wallace, he doesn't have to play defense. he can just patrol the lane and block a few shots and make himself a factor when he shouldn't be. if you put mcdyess on the floor, shaq has to guard him. i don't know how long mcdyess' knee can last, but if he can go 25-30 minutes a game... screw ben "i'm the most over-rated player in the nba" wallace. make shaq play defense, and he'll have to come out of the game. period. his leg is just that bad.

right now, unless zen master phil stops by and puts some voo doo east african healing cream, courtesy of barry bonds, on shaq's thigh to make him, oh i don't know, be able to get more than half his career playoff rebounding average... i see detroit winning this in 6... in a series that looks very similar to the indiana one.

shaq having a miraculous recovery aside, if detroit loses this series they should be banned from the league.

 

[Hewson]

As for Dwayne Wade beating the Pissed-ons solo if Shaq were on the bench, don't overlook the role Eddie Jones will play in that series (assuming it comes to fruition), his perimeter and slashing game will be huge, as well as his D on either Hannibal Lechter Hamilton or Chauncy Gardner Billups.

 

[Headache in a Suitcase]

Why don't you guys ever listen to me ?

i thought the sports guy said the heat would win game 1 in a blow out?

 

[Headache in a Suitcase]

shaq is at 50% tops...

this series is tied.

the pistons are pathetic... the western confernce champ is going to kill them. if hte pistons actually win the nba title, i'm switching to hockey.

 

[Hewson]

Switching to a sport that may fold, thats a drastic move.

Any coincedence that as soon as Diamond jumped on the Suns' bandwagon they suddenly took the pipe?

 

[Headache in a Suitcase]

absolutely...

and on a side note, i really do enjoy reading my post-wing night rant posts... they make me laugh

 

[Hewson]

You should put a footnote that the post was made whilst under the influence of buffalo sauce and blue cheese.

 

[Headache in a Suitcase]

You should put a footnote that the post was made whilst under the influence of buffalo sauce and blue cheese.

 

[diamond]

out here in the west..i think my suns are flaming out quite rapidly.

 

[speedracer]

the pistons are pathetic... the western confernce champ is going to kill them.

Unless it's the Suns.

 

[U2@NYC]

If the Suns can perform a miracle...

 

[diamond]

 

[Headache in a Suitcase]

your suns? sexyjerryslone will be very upset

 

[diamond]

let him be.
since the dynamic duo have left, the utah jazz are about as sexy as your ny knicks

db9

 

[Headache in a Suitcase]

but alas, i'm still a fan of my supersexyknicks despite them being supersucky and run by the notsosupersexyunlessyournameismagicjohnsonisiahthomas

 

[speedracer]

but alas, i'm still a fan of my supersexyknicks

And what if they hire Bill Laimbeer?

 

[diamond]

 

[Headache in a Suitcase]

And what if they hire Bill Laimbeer?

how long till the nets move to brooklyn again?

 

[namkcuR]

I love it. Ever since the all-star break I have to listen to everybody and their mother yap about how it's gonna be the Heat and the Suns. And ever since the all-star break I hold my ground saying that it'll be the Pistons and the Spurs instead. Now, I'm raising my arms in victory yet, but judging from the current state of both series, I would be making a smart bet to say I'll be right and everyone and their mother will be wrong.

All season long I have said(probably not much here, but in the real world) that the Spurs will beat the Suns because 1)They have Tim Duncan 2)They are 999999999999999X what the Suns are defensively 3)They have Tim Duncan 4)They are a superb TEAM, each player playing their part in the machine to perfection...Tim, Tony, Manu, Bowen, Nazr, Barry, Horry, etc etc 5)They have Tim Duncan. and 6)Because the Suns are averaging 110.4PPG, and it is my opinion having watched NBA basketball for my whole life, that a team averaging 110.4PPG can't win a title. Ask Mark Cuban. You HAVE to play at least good D on a consistant basis to win a title and the Suns don't do it.

I have said that the Pistons would beat the Heat because 1)They are a better TEAM in the truest sense of the word. Every player has a role, a niche, to play and they do it wonderfully 2)They play GREAT D 3)Their talent is spread across a multitude of players where the Heat's talent is spread across two players, and DWade cannot beat the Pistons alone. To say that the Pistons are pathetic is just an erronous statement.

I realize that both the Suns and Heat have been playing with key players either out or playing at well below 100%, but injury, and Headache you should know this if you have played organized ball a good deal in your life, is a part of the game and having enough depth on a team in order to play through those injuries is a part of being a championship team. The only reason the Heat won one of the two games in their series is because Alonzo is stepping up. But the Suns? They have close to zero depth. After their normal starting 5 and Jimmy Jackson, who else do they have? The loss of Joe Johnson is not only the loss of a starter but because of Jackson starting in place, it is the loss of any bench that can be taken seriously.

I really hope for and look forward to a Spurs/Pistons final.

 

[Headache in a Suitcase]

since i'm at work and bored i'll slowly pick my way through this...

I love it. Ever since the all-star break I have to listen to everybody and their mother yap about how it's gonna be the Heat and the Suns. And ever since the all-star break I hold my ground saying that it'll be the Pistons and the Spurs instead. Now, I'm raising my arms in victory yet, but judging from the current state of both series, I would be making a smart bet to say I'll be right and everyone and their mother will be wrong.

my mother picked the syracuse nationals... you leave her out of it.

All season long I have said(probably not much here, but in the real world) that the Spurs will beat the Suns because 1)They have Tim Duncan 2)They are 999999999999999X what the Suns are defensively 3)They have Tim Duncan 4)They are a superb TEAM, each player playing their part in the machine to perfection...Tim, Tony, Manu, Bowen, Nazr, Barry, Horry, etc etc 5)They have Tim Duncan. and 6)Because the Suns are averaging 110.4PPG,

Today's did you know involves the fact that the Phoenix Suns have averaged 111 points per game in the Western Conference Finals... 0.6 points more than they averaged durring the regular season. So is it the vaunted San Antonio defense that's stopping the Suns? Or are they simply out-scoring them? I contest, as I always have, that it's both. You can play good defense while giving up 100+ points per game. The more shots you take, the more shots the other team takes.

and it is my opinion having watched NBA basketball for my whole life, that a team averaging 110.4PPG can't win a title. Ask Mark Cuban. You HAVE to play at least good D on a consistant basis to win a title and the Suns don't do it.

based upon this, i'm going to assume that you're 15 years old or younger... because you're tending to forget about the decades know as the 80s, 70s and 60s, and basing your entire argument around a horrificly put together team from the current era, the dallas mavericks.

here's a little stat breakdown for ya... courtesy of CBS Sportsline... it lists the season, along with the NBA scoring average for all teams durring that season.

1993-94- 101.5 (22 of 27 teams over 100)
1983-84- 110.1 (lowest team average was 101.5, highest was 123.7)
1973-74- 105.7 (every team over 100)
1963-64- 111.0 (every team over 100)
1961-62- 118.8 (every team over 100)

so i'm guessing, by your assertion, that every NBA champ prior to 1993 doesn't count.

perhaps the most laughable argument that I can come up with is from the Detroit Pissed-on's own webpage... the part that speaks of the vaunted, fearsome Bad Boys defense of the late 80s and early 90s, a team that by all accounts is a better team than the current Pistons team.

Here's the quote...

By then the Pistons' most evident quality was a punishing defense. For the season, they held opponents to a league-low 98.3 points per game.

Let's repeat that last part...

held opponents to a league-low 98.3 points per game.

oh yea... the bad boy pistons? scored 106 points per game in route to two straight championships. in the 1988-89 season? they were second in the league in defense... giving up 100.8 points per game.

this year's pistons? scored 91.2 points per game.

I have said that the Pistons would beat the Heat because 1)They are a better TEAM in the truest sense of the word. Every player has a role, a niche, to play and they do it wonderfully 2)They play GREAT D 3)Their talent is spread across a multitude of players where the Heat's talent is spread across two players, and DWade cannot beat the Pistons alone. To say that the Pistons are pathetic is just an erronous statement.

i refer to my previous statements... i consider most basketball in the NBA to be pathetic these days. the pistons are the poster boys for that... there is a reason, after all, why the United States, filled with NBA all stars and MVP candidates, won only a bronze medal... losing to a bunch of teams who if you pooled them togther, the best player you could find is Balki Bartakamous himself... Manu Ginobili. Nothing against Manu, but this just simply should not happen.

The Pistons simply cannot score. Period. They go into HUGE scoring droughts, where they go 5-10 minutes at a team without scoring a field goal. They were a sub-par champion in a sub-par league.

That said, i made the Pathetic comment under the influence of budweiser and chicken wings.

I realize that both the Suns and Heat have been playing with key players either out or playing at well below 100%, but injury, and Headache you should know this if you have played organized ball a good deal in your life, is a part of the game and having enough depth on a team in order to play through those injuries is a part of being a championship team.

Michael Jordan gets injured those Bulls team never win a title. Larry Bird... Magic Johnson... I can go on, but I don't need to. There are certain players that make or break teams, no matter how good those teams are. The special players that elevate everyone else to another level. Losing one of these players is devistating to a team. Shaquille O'Neal is one of these players. He is in no way as talented as Bird, Michael and Magic... but he is as dominating a force as there has been in the league since Moses Malone or Wilton Norman Chamberlain himself. Maybe even more dominating, because Malone & Chamberlain had equals in their era... guys who, while not as good offensively, could hold their own. Shaq has no one. Alonzo was the last good center who could go toe to toe with Shaq, and he has one kidney. Shaq stands alone... if he isn't able to play at a high level, the Heat are useless. If the Pistons are a great championship team, they should sweep useless teams. They didn't because they went into one of their patented scoring draughts while getting scorched for 20 points by...

The only reason the Heat won one of the two games in their series is because Alonzo is stepping up.

...Dwayne Wade. I think him scoring 40 points, 20 of which came in the 4th quarter, had a little something to do with the Heat winning as well. Combine that with the fact that apparently the Heat read my post after game 1 and got over the fact that the Pistons, because of their reputation, are allowed to get away with all sorts of pushing and grabbing and decided to push and grab right back. It took the Zen master's Bulls 3 years to figure that much out... here it's only take the Heat a game and a half. Go Ron Jeremy Go.

But the Suns? They have close to zero depth. After their normal starting 5 and Jimmy Jackson, who else do they have? The loss of Joe Johnson is not only the loss of a starter but because of Jackson starting in place, it is the loss of any bench that can be taken seriously.

i shall refer back to my original post in this thread... where I made my playoff predictions.

Originally posted by Headache in a Suitcase
NBA Finals
Miami Heat over San Antonio Spurs in 6 games

I really hope for and look forward to a Spurs/Pistons final.

if you really want an nba finals that could possiably be uglier than that of the Nets/Spurs a few years back, then this is the one for you... only the pistons don't have a player of the caliber of Jason Kidd, so I would seriously doubt it would go 6 games like that one did.



and on one last side note... Tim Duncan gets hurt, that great TEAM the Spurs lose in the first round.

 

[namkcuR]

I am 20, closer to 21 than 19. Perhaps I should have phrased I said there better; in TODAY's NBA, you can't average 110ppg and win a title. This is because in TODAY's NBA, teams don't score like they used to. I remember fondly the days when pretty much every playoff game would end in triple digits. That's the way the NBA was back then(then being ten years ago, earliest). But today, more often than not I see games where teams finish with scores in the 70s and 80s. And I don't attribute that to the whole NBA picking up on the defensive end. You said most of the NBA is pathetic...if we're talking offensively, I agree. Defensively, the league is pretty average with the exception of a few teams(Pistons, Spurs, Pacers). But scoring-wise...I don't know what the scoring average for the whole league was THIS year, but I'm willing to but it's well below the 110-111 averages of years' past.

The Suns still average what they average vs the Spurs because they are because they score very, very fast. I've seen few teams get the ball down the court and a shot up faster than the Suns have this year. But match the Spurs up against any other team in the league that isn't named the Suns or the Mavs. Now put the Suns up against the same team. After both games are over, tell me in which game the opposing team was held to fewer points. I wager it would be the Spurs game.

And if Duncan got injured, the Spurs might loose in the second round, but not the first.