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AnneMarie

Babyface
Joined
Sep 8, 2002
Messages
20
Location
Waltham, MA
Statements from automobile insurance claim forms


Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

The other car collided with mine without giving me warning of its intention.

I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it.

I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve several times before I hit him.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother in law and headed over the embankment.

In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

I had been shopping for a plant all day and was on my way home. As I reached an inter-section a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.

I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

I was on the way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident and damage my big end.

As I approached the intersection a sign appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.

To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I stuck a pedestrian.

My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle.

An invisible car came out of nowhere, stuck my car and vanished.

I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat I found that I had a fractured skull.

I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.

The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run. So I ran over him.

I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car.

The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.

The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out the way when I struck the front end.

The accident was caused by me waving to the man I hit last week.

I knocked over a man, he admitted it was his fault as he'd been knocked over before.


Very unHelpful Inventions
>Ice Cube Mix
>Tricycle Kickstand
>Solar Flashlight
>Dehydrated Water
>Fire Proof Matches
>Reversible Sandwich Bread
>Black Light Bulb
>Disposable Garbage Bags

:hyper::hyper::hyper::hyper::hyper::hyper::hyper::hyper::hyper:
 
:lmao: Those are great!

Last week, this gem came across my desk:

"I was driving on the freeway when I started to sneeze...this caused me to have severe sinus drip, which then caused me to cough. The coughing caused me to black out and I woke up 4 days later in hospital."


My favorite was the lady who slammed on her brakes and was rear-ended because "I heard a screech noise coming from my behind."
 
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