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#1 |
Rock n' Roll Doggie
VIP PASS Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Bruce's land of hope and dreams
Posts: 5,404
Local Time: 06:11 AM
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Letterman's Top Ten Lists
Does anyone else love them? I do. Here's last night's...
__________________Top Ten Excuses Of The American Taliban Guy 10. "Terrorist training camps looked a lot nicer in the brochure" 9. "I didn't join the Taliban, I was interning for the Taliban" 8. "I lost a Super Bowl bet" 7. "Dazzled by the Taliban commercials that aired during one of Kathie Lee's Ramadan specials" 6. "What kid doesn't grow up dreaming of being the next Mullah Omar?" 5. "Al Qaeda? Oh man, I thought I was fighting for Ralph Nader" 4. "Since when is fighting against your country with an evil terrorist regime considered treason?" 3. "Got tired of wearing clean clothes and not getting shot at" 2. "Like you've never joined an international terrorist ring!" 1. "Oh, I thought this was a paintball game" |
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#2 |
Refugee
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,761
Local Time: 06:11 AM
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Letterman is the best! Those are hilarious.
__________________------------------ ~ME THREE Don't get sentimental It always ends up drivel |
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#3 |
Rock n' Roll Doggie
VIP PASS Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Bruce's land of hope and dreams
Posts: 5,404
Local Time: 06:11 AM
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The only one that turned up a U2 reference
Top Ten Questions President Clinton Was Asked by Teens on MTV 10. Will your health-care plan cover a wicked hangover? 9. Can you make a law that they have to play more U2 videos? 8. Where's the sax, Tubby? 7. How do you keep your thighs so pasty white? 6. Does Gennifer Flowers wear boxers or briefs? 5. Is it true you wanted to remove your pants and call this Clinton Unplugged? 4. Hey, like, what's with that Gore dude? 3. This 'United States' you keep mentioning -- is that like a band or something? 2. Wow -- How'd you get your ass into those shorts? 1. Where's Beavis, Butthead? |
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#4 |
Blue Crack Distributor
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: small town Pennsylvania, USA
Posts: 96,451
Local Time: 11:11 AM
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I love Dave's Top ten List. He really has some good ones sometimes.
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#5 |
Halloweenhead
Forum Moderator Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Cherry Lane
Posts: 40,820
Local Time: 07:11 AM
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Those lists are hilarious!
------------------ "I don't know you, But you don't know the half of it..." |
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#6 |
Refugee
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Denmark
Posts: 1,198
Local Time: 12:11 PM
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Just out of curiosity, since I can't receive those shows anymore... how long did it take for Letterman et al to start joking about these things?
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#7 |
Refugee
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: The Sunshine Coast, Queensland, Australia
Posts: 1,612
Local Time: 10:11 PM
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I love Dave- I only get to watch him when I am up late as he is usually on here at about 12:30pm, but I switched on last night and caught a bit of Ellen Degeneres which was funny, and I love his top ten lists, even though sometimes I dont get them as they make refferences to American things or people, but generally they are very good
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#8 |
Rock n' Roll Doggie
VIP PASS Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Bruce's land of hope and dreams
Posts: 5,404
Local Time: 06:11 AM
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Yes-I think he is a U2 fan. He's had them on after all.
![]() Here's another funny one. Top Ten Ways The World Would Be Different If It Were Owned By MTV 10. President opens State of Union by giving "shout out to Wu Tang" 9. Instead of the Presidents, school kids must learn the lead singers of Van Halen 8. Biggest complaint about the government: "It never shows videos anymore" 7. George W. Bush refuses to answer whether he's ever "gotten jiggy wit' it" 6. So long Washington Monument, hello Tommy Lee Monument 5. "Great Depression" refers to period between Backstreet Boys albums 4. New national anthem would contain samples of other country's national anthems 3. Instead of death penalty, prisoners forced to watch Britney Spears videos in heavy rotation 2. National health plan to treat males suffering from Limp Bizkit 1. First Lady Marilyn Manson |
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#9 |
Acrobat
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 399
Local Time: 11:11 AM
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Dave rules!!!!
This was my favorite of the Taliban Top Ten: 3. "Got tired of wearing clean clothes and not getting shot at" I'm STILL laughing as I write thissss |
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#10 | |
ONE<br>love, blood, life
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Lookin' for the face I had before the world was made
Posts: 12,144
Local Time: 07:11 AM
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Quote:
------------------ One love, one life... Give peace a chance! Don't let the bastards grind you down! Bono: I don't walk, I swagger! I sashayed once, but just once. It wasn't for me. |
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#11 |
you are what you is
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Netherlands
Posts: 22,063
Local Time: 12:11 PM
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ummm, hahaha
------------------ Salome Shake it, shake it, shake it |
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#12 |
Rock n' Roll Doggie
VIP PASS Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Bruce's land of hope and dreams
Posts: 5,404
Local Time: 06:11 AM
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Adding this one for the New Year...
Top Ten Signs You're At A Lame New Year's Eve Party 10. To give it a Times Square feel, everyone is groped, fondled and pick-pocketed 9. "Party hats" look suspiciously like stolen traffic cones 8. "Ball drop" at midnight consists of a trick your Uncle Earl does when he's loaded 7. "Champagne" really apple juice mixed with Alka Seltzer 6. You notice a "Happy 1999" tag on the package of shrimp you've been eating all night 5. The host kicks everyone out at 11:58 so he can go to bed 4. The only guests are you and Richard Simmons, and guess who wants a New Year's Eve kiss? 3. The Amish can do many things well, but throwing parties ain't one of them 2. It's just you and a dozen Mullahs in a cave 1. It's held in March |
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#13 |
you are what you is
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Netherlands
Posts: 22,063
Local Time: 12:11 PM
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I was sure nr. 1 would be "when people don't laugh, but 'lol' at your jokes"
__________________------------------ Salome Shake it, shake it, shake it |
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