ADVISORY: If you are against underage drinking and drug use, please do not read this.
It happened one night, on a cool March, 3 days after my 17th birthday and the first night of March Break. A party was occurring at my friend Dave's house. We were all underage except for one, so we sent him off to buy us our liquor after school the day before. He said he would meet us at 8:30 at the apartment with all the liquor. Huzzah, we said.
Three of us, myself, William, and Jon, meet up at my house, William carrying the snacks, myself carrying the mix, and Jon carrying the...uh..."vegetables" that he procured for everyone, about 20 grams in total (!!!). It's about a 25 minute walk, and it's -17 degrees Celcius and dropping fast. We walk, and are extremely cold. We nearly get smashed by a Mack truck on the way (we are all still totally 100% sober at the time), but make it safely to the apartment where it is being held, arriving at about 7:00 PM. Dave, who's apartment it is at, along with about 3 other guys, Tim, Grayson, and Matt, are in his living room playing Super Mario All-Stars on a Super Nintendo someone brought. No liquor, because Danny was still out. So we sit around, totally sober, praying for 8:30 to arrive.
At about 8:00 4 girls (who were uninvited, mind you), show up, baked and with a pint of Smirnoff going around between them. They step in and immediately go ballistic, running around and yelling and playing tag in Dave's bedroom, and coming very close to breaking things.
So we finally get the girls calmed down, playing a game of asshole at the kitchen table, and 8:30 rolls around. No Danny. 8:45. Still no Danny. We're starting to get impatient. 9:15. The buzzer rings. It's Danny. There's so much liquor it takes 3 of us 2 trips back and forth to bring it all in. I get my 12-pack of Keith's (best beer in the world!!!). Time rolls on, we play some more cards, play some more Nintendo, and slowly get drunk. 10:30 rolls around, and I'm buzzed at this point.
Danny has brought something to sell to this particularly slow kid, Allan. He tells Allan that it's hash and sells it to him for 15 dollars a gram (he sells 2 grams in total). What Allan doesn't know is that it's actually cigar tobacco pulled out of a cigar and cut up and smushed together to look like brown weed. So Allan rolls up his hash, and the rest of us with our weed, and we go outside to look for a place to smoke it.
We stroll around on the ice, and someone gets the bright idea to do it right behind the apartment buliding, right in front of someone's window (it's darkened so they assume there's nobody home). I protest vehemently, but consent when they threaten not to let me have any. So we're there in the freezing cold at almost 11 at night, smoking weed, and Allan with his "hash" thinking he's going to get ridiculously stoned. We're there doing our thing for about 10 minutes or so, when the blinds on the window fly open, we hear tapping and someone yelling from the other side "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU KIDS THINK YOU'RE DOING?!?!?!" It scares the shit out of us, and we book it, trying to run back to the apartment as fast as we can. The lawn of the building is a hill, and it's all ice, and we're running across it (not an easy task when nearly drunk and stoned). We manage to all make it back. 2 minutes later, William gets the munchies and leaves to go down to the corner store to buy some licorice. He leaves, and we go back to playing our games, still a bit scared. 15-20 minutes pass. The phone rings. It's William, hiding in the bushes outside the building. He informs us that there are 6 police cars parked outside the front door, talking to each other and a few of the building tenants trying to figure out where the kids (us) were. Well that did it, people were running around, dumping liquor, hiding glasses and bottles and downing the remnants of drinks, etc. It's frantic. We are all scared shitless that the cops are gonna come up and bust us all, and Dave's gonna be evicted from the building. We pick a fall guy in case the cops do show up (they chose me, which means that if the cops were to come up I would take the blame for the outside and for everything else, and then would not rat anyone else out, so that one of us gets in trouble, not 15-20 of us). So that doubly adds to my worry. We all get into the living room and sit down and be quiet, after Dave gives us all a direct order that nobody is to look out any windows, or even get up without his express permission. The tension is thick.
20 minutes later, a knock on the door. The girls are losing it, we're nervous (me especially) and Dave goes to open the door. We all breathe a collective sigh of relief when it's William. He says the cops left. The liquor comes back out. We get blasted, the girls pass out, Dave ends up shagging one of them (although he is getting interrupted many times) for like, 3 hours (after she wakes up of course), everyone throws up at least once, and eventually I pass out on the sofa playing Mario. I wake up at 10 the next morning, not remembering anything, my you-know-what hanging out of my pants, nobody around and wondering where the hell I am. Eventually my memory comes back, we end up finishing off the stuff we haven't sold or smoked (picking a better location this time), and everyone's gone except me and Danny and Dave. So we help clean up, and finish off our liquor, watch some TV, play some more Mario (that game is so much easier when you're stoned, honestly), and then I leave and walk home, ending my fun at the party.
The moral of the story is: don't do drugs in front of someone's window, avoid being the fall guy, and if you wake up with your genitalia hanging out of your pants, don't ask questions.
The End.