give me suggestions on how to annoy a telemarketer

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Seinfeld saves the day:

"TEL: Hi, would you be interested in switching over to TMI long distance service.
JERRY: Oh, gee, I can't talk right now. Why don't you give me your home number and I'll call you later.
TEL: Uh, I'm sorry we're not allowed to do that.
JERRY: Oh, I guess you don't want people calling you at home.
TEL: No.
JERRY: Well now you know how I feel. [Hangs up]"

:lol:

...I'd never have the courage to do that myself though.
 
Please dont.

I work in a call center. We're just doing our jobs and you folks who do this kind of thing just make our day that much worse.

I've seen people cry every day at work because of the abuse they get from customers.

Besides, how would you feel if you came into my workplace for something and I told you off?

Please...we have to do this, it's our job, it's our way of making money to support ourselves and our families. If you don't want to listen then just say "Thanks, but I'm not interested right now. Have a nice day." and hang up. It's not difficult.

:(
 
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TM: Would you be interesting in our home
security system?
Me: No not really
TM: What do you have to protect your home then?
Me: I have an ICBM silo in backyard,
laser guns, and a few shotguns.
Me: < hangs up>
 
DaveC said:
Please dont.

I work in a call center. We're just doing our jobs and you folks who do this kind of thing just make our day that much worse.

I've seen people cry every day at work because of the abuse they get from customers.

Besides, how would you feel if you came into my workplace for something and I told you off?

Please...we have to do this, it's our job, it's our way of making money to support ourselves and our families. If you don't want to listen then just say "Thanks, but I'm not interested right now. Have a nice day." and hang up. It's not difficult.

:(

:yes:

I used to be a telemarketer years ago. The pay and conditions were terrible. Rude comments from customers just added insult to injury. Remember, those folks are just trying to make a living, same as you.
 
Expand your resume. Truly. Make the telemarketer not want to talk to you. If they're selling security for the home, tell them you're a cop. If they're selling you a mortgage comparison, tell them you work in a bank yourself. If they're market researchers, tell them you work for one yourself and company policy means you cannot partake in anyone else's surveys. If they want donations and you are broke, tell them you just gave your allocated monthly amount to another organisation yesterday.
Always thank them, but hang up quickly.
 
For an article, eh....well I'll tell you of some old pranks a friend of mine and I used to play.

We were roommates and we'd get atleast one call a day, either for him or myself. My roommates name was Tom. If they'd call for him, I'd say, "Tom? No Tom lives here, you must mean Tome! Yes, let me get him for you." Then he'd pick up the phone and they'd say his name with whatever bizarre pronunciation I had just told them. He would then freak out on the phone and tell them that his name was Tom and that he refused to talk to anyone who couldnt get that right. Hilarity and laughter would then ensue from both he and I. :up:

I dont know how many times I'd almost crack up when I'd randomly hear him yell "phone!" and I'd pick it up and hear a voice say, "Hi, is Treevoor there?" (my name is Trevor)

Good times :up:
 
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what DaveC said. i used to work as a telemarketer and i would come home in a bad mood.

but then again i used to get annoyed with telemarketers calling my home.

a little humor wouldnt hurt now and then.
 
DaveC said:
Please dont.

I work in a call center. We're just doing our jobs and you folks who do this kind of thing just make our day that much worse.

I've seen people cry every day at work because of the abuse they get from customers.

Besides, how would you feel if you came into my workplace for something and I told you off?

Please...we have to do this, it's our job, it's our way of making money to support ourselves and our families. If you don't want to listen then just say "Thanks, but I'm not interested right now. Have a nice day." and hang up. It's not difficult.

:(

I am a telemarketer myself and I am writing a humorous piece that is all so no worries there. I write a 'zine on my spare time and thought that it would be funny to publish such article in fun since most of my readers know that I am a telemarketer.
 
The reason why I wanted to write a humorous article and get ideas to make those in call centers and telemarketers put a smile on their faces. We have all had to have the shit job so why not smile about it once in a while by some of the shit that gets pulled on us.
 
isabelle_guns said:
The reason why I wanted to write a humorous article and get ideas to make those in call centers and telemarketers put a smile on their faces. We have all had to have the shit job so why not smile about it once in a while by some of the shit that gets pulled on us.

I'm sorry I misunderstood you. To make up for it, I will offer something that happened to me once during my telemarketing stint. One day I made my usual sales pitch and the person I was calling listened to the whole thing and asked "Is this a machine?" "No," I said. "Good!" he replied. And hung up.
 
When the telemarketer would call for BAW, I would say (in my manly voice)....

"...this is Mrs....can I help you?"

Other end - "uhh..."

and then I would let them go on and on and on and I would end saying..."I have to ask my husband" and then hang up!" (stopped calls from that phone company.)

For other callers, I would start asking if they were dressed; what do you look like; etc. CLICK!

Lastly, I would ask the T/M if it was okay if I put my son on the phone so he could listen to an uneducated person with no job experience try to sell Daddy something! OUCH!!!

No offense to the current or former T/M, but calls to the home between 5-9 p.m. are just not welcome...! If I want something I will call you!!! That National Call blocking system and Caller-ID is welcome here!

:yikes:
 
I like to pretend I can't hear who is calling.

Me: Hello?
Telemarketer: Hi, I'm with.... and wondering if your happy with...
Me: Hello?
Telemarketer: Hi, I'm with.... and wondering if your happy with...
Me: Hello?! Is anyone there? HELLO!!!
Telemarketer: Hi, I'm with.... and wondering if your happy with...

Continues on until the telemarketer hangs up on me. Of course, by the time it takes me to do this, I could have politely said "No thanks, not interested", and be done with it. But what's the fun in that?
 
DaveC said:
Please dont.

I work in a call center. We're just doing our jobs and you folks who do this kind of thing just make our day that much worse.

I've seen people cry every day at work because of the abuse they get from customers.

Besides, how would you feel if you came into my workplace for something and I told you off?

Please...we have to do this, it's our job, it's our way of making money to support ourselves and our families. If you don't want to listen then just say "Thanks, but I'm not interested right now. Have a nice day." and hang up. It's not difficult.

:(

You beat me to it. As soon as I saw this thread title I was furious. I worked in telemarking for 2 years and finally gave it up because the abuse and the emotional strain got to be too much. I cried a lot, I was always stressed and in a bad mood. It's awful trying to do your job knowing you could be abused at any second. Nobody is forcing anyone to buy something, it's better to say no thanks and hang up. People are just trying to do their jobs, and it's better than working fast food and slightly better money. There are college kids working their way through school, young mothers, elderly, even blind and wheelchair bound folks. No matter how annoying the calls may be please remember these are human beings with feelings and not monsters out to steal your time and torment you. It's just a phone, it can easily be hung up. Now if you get one of those recordings you can yell what you want, it's not going to feel a thing.
 
isabelle_guns said:
The reason why I wanted to write a humorous article and get ideas to make those in call centers and telemarketers put a smile on their faces.

Oh, I see. I remember when I was working my phone jobs, we would get some 'live ones' that were so funny they lightened up the day. Most of them were unintentionally funny, like elderly ladies or people who didn't speak English well and said the wrong things. Then some people were such assholes they were more funny than offensive. Yes, sometimes we telemarketers made fun of the people who thought they were dissing us :lol: Oh and some of the answering machines you'd get were such riots we'd call them again just to hear them and laugh! You'd also get the sad, lonely soul who just wanted someone to talk to and would keep your ear all day and it was hard to get away without hurting their feelings. I actually did have an idea of writing a book of all the responses we got. I was going to call it "When "I'm not interested" becomes Interesting" ;) Good luck!
 
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I used to say in a very thick spanish accent:

TM: Hello may I speak to Mrs. CAN TOO? (the pronounciation)
Me: Bueno??? No speaky englich
TM: Um....
Me: Dejen de chingar *click*
LOL
 
I typically answer the phone:

"Helllo, Pizza Hut, may I take your order?"

Keep in mind... I DO NOT work at Pizza Hut.

Telemarketers usually hang-up instantly,

and my friends...

well...

they actually try placing an order, usually in some funny accent.


But if a TM does catch me off-guard,

I usually tell them that I've already gotten 3 calls from their company, and that I demand to be removed from their database.

Technically they are required to do so, when asked.... and this seems to have worked... as I rarely get TM calls in the last year.
 
maro_chik said:
Seinfeld saves the day:

"TEL: Hi, would you be interested in switching over to TMI long distance service.
JERRY: Oh, gee, I can't talk right now. Why don't you give me your home number and I'll call you later.
TEL: Uh, I'm sorry we're not allowed to do that.
JERRY: Oh, I guess you don't want people calling you at home.
TEL: No.
JERRY: Well now you know how I feel. [Hangs up]"

:lol:

...I'd never have the courage to do that myself though.


haha that was exactly what I was thinking of! Seinfeld is always brilliant
 
maro_chik said:
Seinfeld saves the day:

"TEL: Hi, would you be interested in switching over to TMI long distance service.
JERRY: Oh, gee, I can't talk right now. Why don't you give me your home number and I'll call you later.
TEL: Uh, I'm sorry we're not allowed to do that.
JERRY: Oh, I guess you don't want people calling you at home.
TEL: No.
JERRY: Well now you know how I feel. [Hangs up]"

:lol:

...I'd never have the courage to do that myself though.


haha that was exactly what I was thinking of! Seinfeld is always brilliant
 
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