Funny Stories on the Job!!!

[spinninghead77]

As a college student I got a job at a local video store. When I finished college I worked as an Assistant Store Manager for a few years. I won't mention the name of it, but it is an international chain, and most likely you have one, or even two within walking distance of your house

!! For some reason we had the dumbest customer's EVER!! The following are actual incidents that took place:

-I found a lit cigarette burning in the drop box.
-I was greeted in the morning by a drop box full of human urine.
-People had sex in the customer washroom.
-Someone threw a movie at my head because the movie that they wanted was out.
-A woman called head office, in a different country to complain that the late fee's were too much for a 'single mother'.
-In one day, I had two people drive away with a movie on their car, then proceed to run over it with the car.
-I had a number of people ask ME to pay for their parking ticket because they parked in the road in front of the store as opposed to in a parking spot.
-I got offered a job at a strip joint.
-People returned library books into the drop box.
-A lady offered me $50 to open the store after close on Christmas Day.
-A man wanted to sue me because I DIDN'T rent his 13 son a restricted movie.
-A number of people refused to tell me their phone number but thought that they could take a movie home anyway.
-Someone tried to beat up my boyfriend (who also worked there) because of late charges.
-A woman cried because the price of movies went up $.25.

I am sure that I have many more silly stories. Do you have any???

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***Spinny***
"OH, SINNY- er,um- SPINNY!" (freudian slip?)-JulyFly

"Here I go and I don't know why
I spin so ceaselessly
Could it be he's taken over me????"

 

[mad1]

.

 

[YellowKite]

When I was working retail a lady let her child play with, chew on and drool all over a stuffed toy. When she came to pay she traded out that one "because it was nasty" for a fresh one to actually purchase for the kid! Then she got upset when I suggested she pay for the other one that her kid already broke in.

I am SO glad retail is in my dark history. <shudder>

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You ain't nothin without a rhythm section.

"Who's to say what it is will break you."

"What Adam does with his willy is his business..." -Bono

 

[Bonochick]

I'm a student worker in a computer lab. When people come in, they need to sign in at the lab desk with a photo ID and tell us which application they need to use so we can assign them a station with that program.

Me: What do you need to use?

Person: Uhhhh...a computer...

Me: *thinking 'Yeah, no shit...'* Which applicationd do you need to use?

Person: Uhhh...a computer...

Me: So...you just need the Internet?

Person: Uh, yeah, that's it.

***2 minutes pass, person returns to desk***

Person: Uh...how do I get to Microsoft Word?

Me: That program isn't on that station because you said you just needed one with Internet.

Person: Oh, I need to use Microsoft Word.

GRRRRRRRR...

Everyday...every single day...


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"Hallelujah, Heaven's white rose,
The doors you open...I just can't close..."

 

[Not George Lucas]

I was working in the video/DVD/CD/software/video game dept. at an unnamed store which rhymes with Rest Ruy during Christmas season, not an enviable job. This was a few years back, and Men in Black had just been released on video. Naturally, the store put up a huge MIB display with dozens of tapes, right by the entrance. When you walked in the store, the first thing you saw was Tommy "Lee" Jones and Will "Jiggy Fresh Prince of Bel-Aire" Smith holding BFG's, so, naturally, every day, I had people coming to me asking if MIB was out yet, and do we have it.

I think my favorite thing that happened at Be-- I mean Rest Ruy, was when it was really really busy one day. Here's a little background: Generally, there are three people working in that dept. at one time, one by the software, and two by the movies/CD's. Sometimes the software guy would have to go in the back room to put the video games in the plastic boxes. We also had two phones, the main phone, which was at the workers' station, and the cordless, which employess used if they were going to be away for a while.

Ok, so I was woking one day, and it was really busy. The software guy was in the back room, and the other guy was taking a break, so I was on the floor alone. Thinking ahead, I stuck the cordless on my belt, just in case. So, I get a call from some guy asking if we have a certain movie. I tell him I'll go check and put him on hold. I'm no more than two steps from the phone when a customer approaches, alsoo needing something. So, I point the customer in the right direction and keep moving, when I'm confronted by two more customers. They need help finding movies, so at least they're in the right area. As I'm looking for their movie, and also trying to find the movie for the guy on the phone, the phone rings again. Great. I sigh an exasperated sigh, grab the cordless, turn it on and say in my calmest, most professional voice, "Thank you for calling Best Buy. All our operators are busy right now. Please stay on the line, and someone will be with you shortly." Then I quickly puch the hold button and pray to God that it's not a manager. So, eventually, I find the movies, and, maybe 5-10 minutes later, I remember that I still have someone on hold. So, I hit the hold button again. "Thank you for waiting. How can I help you?" The guy never figured out I wasn't a recording.

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Truth is offensive.
I'm morally opposed to rape, and I would never rape anyone, but I think, ultimately, it's up to the rapist and no one else.

 

[Bonochick]

Another one...

Person: My email won't send.

Me: Do you have your email account through us?

Person: Huh?

Me: Where do you have your email through?

Person: I don't know.

Me: Where do you go to log into your email?

Person: Uhh...Yahoo?

Me: Well, there aren't any problems with our server, so it might just be Yahoo's server having problems which means you won't be able to connect with it to send mail.

Person: So...can you come fix it?

Me: There's nothing I can do about their server. If it was our server, I could get a tech.

Person: So get a tech.

Me: No, I can't get one because it's not our server...we can't do anything about it.

Person: It's broken, and I need it fixed. Can't you even do your job?

GAO!

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"Hallelujah, Heaven's white rose,
The doors you open...I just can't close..."

 

[Johnny Swallow]

I used to sell newspapers for the biggest paper in Arkansas.

At the time I was doing retention sales for current customers, so I knew their name/address/etc.

I showed up to this guy's house, and someone answered the door. I asked for John Doe, the guy looks at me and says 'Doe's dead, he was murdered in his sleep last week.' I then realized why there were 12 cars in the yard, I asked to see a dead man at his own wake.

Needless to say, I didn't make the sale. I'm such a failure.

 

[Naya]

When I was working at the popcorn counter at a movie theatre a crazy woman and her kids wanted me fired and called me a fucking idiot for messing up her order. (I gave her a medium popcorn instead of a large one)

. Then she came back the next week and accused one of the managers of harrassing her. I think she has gone to just about every movie theatre in the Montreal area and did some crazy shit at every one of them. Bitch.

 

[Giant Lemon]

A couple summers ago I was working in retail (which was totally hellish experience because of my bosses and some fellow employees, but I'm not going to go into that now!), and I was in charge of the dressing rooms that day. A mother and daughter came in, and the daughter started trying on a bunch of clothes in one of the rooms. While the mother was waiting, she was looking around and saw a speaker that was on the ceiling (we played music in the store). As soon as she saw it, she freaked out and asked if that was a video camera. I told her no, but she wouldn't believe me, so I got another employee who verified what I said. The woman STILL didn't believe me, so I got the manager who also concurred. The woman, who absolutely refused to believe that it was a speaker, then started bitching at the manager and screaming stuff like "I am NOT going to buy clothes from a store that videotapes my daughter changing! I can't believe you do that! And don't tell me it's a speaker because it looks like a camera!" The manager calmly tried to reassure her that there weren't any cameras in the store, we only had those little security sensors, etc. The woman just got more upset, grabbed her daughter out of the dressing room, and huffed out of the store. It was so ridiculous.

The store also sold wool sweaters that could not be put in a dryer because they'd shrink to an extremely tiny size. I can't tell you how many times customers came in to return shrunken sweaters, swearing that they had not put them in a dryer.

There was also one time when a woman came into the store with a small dog in her Prada handbag! No dogs were allowed in the mall (except for seeing eye dogs, etc), but we didn't say anything, and she ended up buying the dog a $60 furry pink blanket. Crazy.

 

[cell]

i used to work at a record store and i usually got weird phone calls instead of customers in the stores. some guy kept asking me by name to the phone and then would ask me if they had a certain porn movie in stock, another one kept playing this weird device into the phone and then would ask me if they carried that in a soundtrack...ah the memories...

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lilsparky: did you like the pics i took of my favorite band?
viktor: actually had a dream about larry mullen last night...not a gay dream but a weird dream.....
lilsparky: really?
lilsparky: what was it about?
viktor: yeah...we were going to a party and all my high school friends walked along him and then Bono rushed out and said something weird and that guy from the pouges...shane mac Gowan came and we all showered in sugar
viktor: weird

 

[Bbug]

Over the summer I work at a drycleaners.
CUSTOMER: Why do I have to pay for my drycleaning?
ME: Huh? Is there a problem? We could do it over for you...
CUSTOMER: I bring so many clothes in! Why should I have to pay full price!?
ME: *looks at his 2 shirts hanging there* Um, you could call Monday morning and ask the owner about a discount, I guess...

CUSTOMER: *holding very delicate beige silk blouse* Now, I paid $300 for this, but I got black hair dye ALL over it!
ME: You wore it while you were dyeing your hair?
CUST: NO! heavens no! I wrapped my hair dye in it when I packed my suitcase...
ME: *LOOKS at her* ummm it's a dye. It won't come out.
CUST: he can't get it out?
ME: Well, he has to be careful with it, it's a delicate garment and he doesn't want to pull colour or put a hole in it...
CUST: Well I don't see why you can't just try it! It's just hair dye!

GAAH

And my all-time favourite--
CUST: *puts bulging black trashbag on counter* It's a kingsized down comforter
ME: Any stains?
CUST: Nope.
ME: What's that smell?
CUST: Cat urine!
ME: That's a stain...

GAHHHHH don't ever take a job at a drycleaners.