Favourite Simpsons quotes. - Page 6

the rockin edge · 07-04-2005, 04:22 PM

Bart- Why is it destroying other toys?
Lisa- It must be programed to destroy the competition
Bart-You mean like microsoft?
Lisa-Exactly!

Homer- thats one of the worst ideas for a tv show I've heard, and I know exactly who would take it... [dials phone]

Phone Answered- Hello, This is Fox

Homer [in loud voice]- Lisa, in this house we obey the laws of thermo-dynamics!

tarquinsuperb · 07-04-2005, 07:16 PM

Lot of Cape Fear quotes which isn't really a surprise but here's another one I love:

Selma: Sideshow Bob tried to kill me on our honeymoon.
Lawyer: How many people in this court are thinking of killing her right now?
Others: *some people raise their hand*
Lawyer: Be honest...!
Others: *more people raise their hand*
Patty: *raises her hand too* - Ah... she's always leaving the toilet seat up...

tarquinsuperb · 07-04-2005, 07:28 PM

Sorry to do this twice but:

Answering machine tape at work:
Homer: Hello. You have reached the workplace of Homer Simpson. If you are calling about the waterbed, please leave a detailed message. If you need to...
Mr. Burns: Get back to work.
Homer: Ahhhh!

Moe: "What would you like me to do?"
Homer: "Make me as dumb as I was before."
[Moe jams the crayon up Homer's nose]
Homer: "De-fense! De-fense!"
Moe: "Humm. That's pretty dumb. But still..."
[Jams crayon further up Homer's nose]
Homer: "Extended warranty?! How can I loose?!"
Moe: "That's dumb enough."

Zookeeper: Boy, that Stone Phillips sounds like quite a bloke. What television network is he on?
Bart: Why, NBC, of course.
Lisa: NBC has lots of great shows, and their news and sports coverage can't be beat.
Wiggum: Do you think there's anything great on NBC right now?
Homer: Oh, I'm sure of it.
Marge: But there's only one way to find out.
[cut to the closing credits]
Homer [voice-over]: I'd like to read the following statement, but I do so under ... [sound of gun cocking] ... my own free will. It has come to my attention that NBC sucks. I apologize for misleading you and urge you to watch as many Fox shows as possible. So in summary, NBC -- bad. Fox -- good. [sotto voce] CBS great.
[sound of gunshot, followed by a thud. The Gracie Studios logo appears, accompanied by three gunshots]

I'll leave you people alone now.

tarquinsuperb · 07-04-2005, 07:53 PM

Last ones I swear, it's late at night and I've got hooked.

[the lawyer asks Marge's opinion of Dr. Riviera's competence]
Marge: I'm sorry, but my mother said, if you can't say anything nice about someone, you shouldn't say anything at all.
Homer: [whispering] Will that hold up in court?
Lionel Hutz: No, I've tried it.

"Nothing like revenge for getting back at people!"
"I dunno, vengeance is pretty good too." -- Lenny and Carl.

the rockin edge · 07-04-2005, 10:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by tarquinsuperb

Zookeeper: Boy, that Stone Phillips sounds like quite a bloke. What television network is he on?
Bart: Why, NBC, of course.
Lisa: NBC has lots of great shows, and their news and sports coverage can't be beat.
Wiggum: Do you think there's anything great on NBC right now?
Homer: Oh, I'm sure of it.
Marge: But there's only one way to find out.
[cut to the closing credits]
Homer [voice-over]: I'd like to read the following statement, but I do so under ... [sound of gun cocking] ... my own free will. It has come to my attention that NBC sucks. I apologize for misleading you and urge you to watch as many Fox shows as possible. So in summary, NBC -- bad. Fox -- good. [sotto voce] CBS great.
[sound of gunshot, followed by a thud. The Gracie Studios logo appears, accompanied by three gunshots]

that is one of my favorite

elevation2u · 07-04-2005, 10:35 PM

every single line in this show is quotable

and thats one of the reasons it's so great

cobl04 · 07-05-2005, 12:35 AM

I think this one's already been posted, but anyway...

Homer - Hello, my name is Mr. Burns and I believe you have a letter for me.
Letter guy - Okay, Mr. Burns, what's your first name?
Homer - ....I don't know.

D'oh! · 07-05-2005, 02:21 AM

Lisa: I guess u could say that i want to bring out the 'Milhouse' in Nelson.

Milhouse: But im all Milhouse! Plus my mom says i am the handsomest guy in school.

impy13 · 07-05-2005, 02:34 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by D'oh!
Lisa: I guess u could say that i want to bring out the 'Milhouse' in Nelson.

Milhouse: But im all Milhouse! Plus my mom says i am the handsomest guy in school.

Oh god, when Milhouse is walking his little dog at the end of that episode!

D'oh! · 07-05-2005, 07:17 AM

yeah, when they freeze the pic whilst milhouse jumps in the air.

D'oh! · 07-05-2005, 07:19 AM

First they called me Kid Gorgeous, then Kid Presentable, then Kid Grotesque, and finally.... Kid Moe!

tarquinsuperb · 07-05-2005, 09:44 AM

We do need more Lionel Hutz comments on here I think. This one I think is the best:
"I've argued in front of every judge in this state - often as a lawyer."

The_One1932 · 07-05-2005, 09:52 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by dsmith2904

"A noble spirit embiggins the smallest man."

well... its a perfectly cromulent word

cobl04 · 07-05-2005, 04:22 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by tarquinsuperb
We do need more Lionel Hutz comments on here I think. This one I think is the best:
"I've argued in front of every judge in this state - often as a lawyer."

Amen

Skinner - "Do you know of anywhere I can get some fresh orange juice?"
Lionel - "I'll sell you this one! It's almost half full!"
Skinner - "Well why don't I just shoot myself (not sure on that line

)
Lionel - "He'll be back."

I know there is more, but I'll have to think of some more.

Milhouse - "But my Mum says I'm cool."

Burns - "It seems my monkey has evolved into a man. (Homer smiles) A poor man."
Homer - "Ohh, why did he have to add that extra bit?"

beau2ifulday · 07-05-2005, 04:25 PM

Homer - 'Bart, I don't wanna alarm you but we think there could be a bogeyman or bogeymen in the house'

later on..

Marge - 'What happened here?'
Homer - 'OH, NOTHING. Just a little Bogeyman related incident'

I find that entire scene, and everything in between so funny.

tarquinsuperb · 07-05-2005, 04:33 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by beau2ifulday
Homer - 'Bart, I don't wanna alarm you but we think there could be a bogeyman or bogeymen in the house'

I love that one so much. Here's my one for tonight:
[After watching a Sex Education film]
Bart: How would I go about creating a half-man, half-monkey-type creature?
Krabappel: I'm sorry but that would be playing God.
Bart: God shmod! I want my monkey-man!

Lemonfix · 07-05-2005, 09:56 PM

Lisa: If we don't get to the convention soon, all the good comics will be gone!

Bart: Ah, what do you care about good comics? All you every buy is Casper the Wimpy Ghost.

Lisa: I think it's sad that you equate friendliness with wimpiness, and I hope it'll keep you from ever achieving true popularity.

Bart: Well, you know what I think? I think Casper is the ghost of Richie Rich. [shows comics of Casper and Richie Rich]

Lisa: Hey, they do look alike!

Bart: Wonder how Richie died.

Lisa: Perhaps he realized how hollow the pursuit of money really is and took his own life.

Marge: Kids, could you lighten up a little?

impy13 · 07-06-2005, 03:42 PM

Lemonfix has an amazing avamatar.

I haven't watched any Homestars in so long. I used to be so up to date on my Strong Bad Emails.

Anyway, this is one of my favorite Troy McClure quotes...

"Selma, Jub-Jub is faaaaaaantastic. He's everywhere you wanna be!"

daygloeyes2 · 07-06-2005, 03:50 PM

Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
Homer: Bart, go to your room.

Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star.

sr99 · 07-06-2005, 03:55 PM

Ralph: What's for lunch tommorrow? Chicken Necks?

07-04-2005, 04:22 PM	#101
the rockin edge Blue Crack Addict Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: tomorrow's just an excuse away Posts: 26,816 Local Time: 07:24 AM	Bart- Why is it destroying other toys? Lisa- It must be programed to destroy the competition Bart-You mean like microsoft? Lisa-Exactly! Homer- thats one of the worst ideas for a tv show I've heard, and I know exactly who would take it... [dials phone] Phone Answered- Hello, This is Fox Homer [in loud voice]- Lisa, in this house we obey the laws of thermo-dynamics! __________________

07-04-2005, 07:16 PM	#102
tarquinsuperb War Child Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Ingerland Posts: 658 Local Time: 02:24 PM	Lot of Cape Fear quotes which isn't really a surprise but here's another one I love: Selma: Sideshow Bob tried to kill me on our honeymoon. Lawyer: How many people in this court are thinking of killing her right now? Others: some people raise their hand Lawyer: Be honest...! Others: more people raise their hand Patty: raises her hand too - Ah... she's always leaving the toilet seat up... __________________

07-06-2005, 03:55 PM	#120
sr99 Babyface Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Winnipeg Posts: 29 Local Time: 01:24 PM	Ralph: What's for lunch tommorrow? Chicken Necks? __________________

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07-04-2005, 07:28 PM	#103
tarquinsuperb War Child Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Ingerland Posts: 658 Local Time: 02:24 PM	Sorry to do this twice but: Answering machine tape at work: Homer: Hello. You have reached the workplace of Homer Simpson. If you are calling about the waterbed, please leave a detailed message. If you need to... Mr. Burns: Get back to work. Homer: Ahhhh! Moe: "What would you like me to do?" Homer: "Make me as dumb as I was before." [Moe jams the crayon up Homer's nose] Homer: "De-fense! De-fense!" Moe: "Humm. That's pretty dumb. But still..." [Jams crayon further up Homer's nose] Homer: "Extended warranty?! How can I loose?!" Moe: "That's dumb enough." Zookeeper: Boy, that Stone Phillips sounds like quite a bloke. What television network is he on? Bart: Why, NBC, of course. Lisa: NBC has lots of great shows, and their news and sports coverage can't be beat. Wiggum: Do you think there's anything great on NBC right now? Homer: Oh, I'm sure of it. Marge: But there's only one way to find out. [cut to the closing credits] Homer [voice-over]: I'd like to read the following statement, but I do so under ... [sound of gun cocking] ... my own free will. It has come to my attention that NBC sucks. I apologize for misleading you and urge you to watch as many Fox shows as possible. So in summary, NBC -- bad. Fox -- good. [sotto voce] CBS great. [sound of gunshot, followed by a thud. The Gracie Studios logo appears, accompanied by three gunshots] I'll leave you people alone now.

07-04-2005, 07:53 PM	#104
tarquinsuperb War Child Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Ingerland Posts: 658 Local Time: 02:24 PM	Last ones I swear, it's late at night and I've got hooked. [the lawyer asks Marge's opinion of Dr. Riviera's competence] Marge: I'm sorry, but my mother said, if you can't say anything nice about someone, you shouldn't say anything at all. Homer: [whispering] Will that hold up in court? Lionel Hutz: No, I've tried it. "Nothing like revenge for getting back at people!" "I dunno, vengeance is pretty good too." -- Lenny and Carl.

07-04-2005, 10:35 PM	#106
elevation2u Rock n' Roll Doggie VIP PASS Join Date: May 2002 Location: corner of Badlands & Magnolia Mountain Posts: 5,371 Local Time: 05:24 AM	every single line in this show is quotable and thats one of the reasons it's so great

07-05-2005, 12:35 AM	#107
cobl04 45:33 Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: East Point to Shaolin Posts: 57,859 Local Time: 12:24 AM	I think this one's already been posted, but anyway... Homer - Hello, my name is Mr. Burns and I believe you have a letter for me. Letter guy - Okay, Mr. Burns, what's your first name? Homer - ....I don't know.

07-05-2005, 02:21 AM	#108
D'oh! War Child Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: India Posts: 685 Local Time: 06:54 PM	Lisa: I guess u could say that i want to bring out the 'Milhouse' in Nelson. Milhouse: But im all Milhouse! Plus my mom says i am the handsomest guy in school.

07-05-2005, 07:17 AM	#110
D'oh! War Child Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: India Posts: 685 Local Time: 06:54 PM	yeah, when they freeze the pic whilst milhouse jumps in the air.

07-05-2005, 07:19 AM	#111
D'oh! War Child Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: India Posts: 685 Local Time: 06:54 PM	First they called me Kid Gorgeous, then Kid Presentable, then Kid Grotesque, and finally.... Kid Moe!

07-05-2005, 09:44 AM	#112
tarquinsuperb War Child Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Ingerland Posts: 658 Local Time: 02:24 PM	We do need more Lionel Hutz comments on here I think. This one I think is the best: "I've argued in front of every judge in this state - often as a lawyer."

07-05-2005, 04:25 PM	#115
beau2ifulday Rock n' Roll Doggie VIP PASS Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Birmingham, UK Posts: 5,512 Local Time: 01:24 PM	Homer - 'Bart, I don't wanna alarm you but we think there could be a bogeyman or bogeymen in the house' later on.. Marge - 'What happened here?' Homer - 'OH, NOTHING. Just a little Bogeyman related incident' I find that entire scene, and everything in between so funny.

07-05-2005, 09:56 PM	#117
Lemonfix Refugee Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Jammin' to "The 2" Posts: 1,075 Local Time: 06:24 AM	Lisa: If we don't get to the convention soon, all the good comics will be gone! Bart: Ah, what do you care about good comics? All you every buy is Casper the Wimpy Ghost. Lisa: I think it's sad that you equate friendliness with wimpiness, and I hope it'll keep you from ever achieving true popularity. Bart: Well, you know what I think? I think Casper is the ghost of Richie Rich. [shows comics of Casper and Richie Rich] Lisa: Hey, they do look alike! Bart: Wonder how Richie died. Lisa: Perhaps he realized how hollow the pursuit of money really is and took his own life. Marge: Kids, could you lighten up a little?

07-06-2005, 03:42 PM	#118
impy13 ONE love, blood, life Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 13,414 Local Time: 02:24 AM	Lemonfix has an amazing avamatar. I haven't watched any Homestars in so long. I used to be so up to date on my Strong Bad Emails. Anyway, this is one of my favorite Troy McClure quotes... "Selma, Jub-Jub is faaaaaaantastic. He's everywhere you wanna be!"

07-06-2005, 03:50 PM	#119
daygloeyes2 Blue Crack Addict Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: No Emily's Allowed Posts: 26,571 Local Time: 09:24 AM	Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup? Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa. Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product. Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy? Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning. Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart. Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out. Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said. Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case. Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to. Homer: Bart, go to your room. Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star.