Eddie Izzard !!!

The friendliest place on the web for anyone that follows U2.
If you have answers, please help by responding to the unanswered posts.
See posts with no answers
:wave:

Good morning! :)



Another of my favorite bits from Glorious:

What, in fact, is an “evil giraffe”? How do they…? “I will eat all the leaves on this tree. (mimes eating leaves) I will eat more leaves than I should… and then other giraffes may die. (evil chuckle) I am an evil herbivore!”
 
Hey, good morning! :wave:


Darth Vader: I can kill Catering with a thought!

Catering: You'll still need a tray.
 
hippy said:

We could go on with this forever! :wink:
Click to expand...

Oh yes, we could. :wink:

I was watching Unrepeatable just a while back. Laughing my ass off. Couple of good ones from that one...

Some people are widely read; I’m thinly read. I’ve read fuck all! Not very proud of it. You know, some people say, “I’ve read Dr. Benoski’s book on cat eating by…” I haven’t read anything, you know. It’s cause I’m partially dyslexic. I was fully dyslexic until I met someone who was more dyslexic than me, and said, “You’re only partially dyslexic.” There’s a lot of rivalry in the dyslexic camp. “Rivvvalry” with three “vs".

In the old days, before the ‘50s, I don’t know, it was much more blatant, adverts were more like, “Come on, there it is! (pointing) Come on! Haven’t got all day, there it is!” And as consumers, we were, “Oh, okay, I didn’t realize! Sorry! Don’t hit me!“ (running towards the product) Nowadays we have choice, don’t we? We’re much more choosy, and we’re much more aware of what we can buy, so adverts are more subtle, they’re the soft sell, much more like… (humming a tune and pointing discreetly at product) “Oh, look at that! Those two people like it, and they’re shagging…” That’s what happens, isn’t it? Shagging sells everything! That’s it, there’s an advert for coffee- You come around, “Cup of coffee?” “Ooh, let’s shag!” Yes! Adverts for chocolate bars, two bits of chocolate bar, one eats one, one eats the other, “Oh, let’s have a shag!” That stuff for cleaning the floor, clean the floor clean, and then you shag on the floor… Dog food, dog eats dog food… anyway… So… not sure what happens there.

http://www.auntiemomo.com/cakeordeath/unrepeatabletranscript.html
 
:lol:


I love Eddie!

I love the Prince Charles/Secret Service bit:

But he was very cool, Prince Charles, he was very… (pulling at his cuffs) He was doing all this cuffs thing that he does before he makes speeches, he always does it. I think it’s a nervous thing, as if he’s going, (pulling at cuffs) “Where’s my fucking shirt?! I’ve got no shirt on.” Or it could be a magic trick he’s doing, “Nothing here… nothing here… bunch of flowers!”


I feel like saying that everytime I adjust my sleeves :D


And, of course, the dog training bit:

We throw sticks at dogs, that’s the level we have dogs at. You’d never dram of throwing one for a cat. We throw sticks for dogs, and dogs go, “Oh, he’s dropped the stick! I better go and get that… (mimes chasing after the stick) You dropped your stick there. Thought I’d bring it back… And you hang on… (mimes giving the stick back and follows it with the eyes as it’s thrown again) Did you see me? I just brought that back! And then you thr… you dropped it again? It’s very weird what’s going on here… Now hang on to it this time, I don’t want to piss about all the time. You think I enjoy this? There you… Don’t fucking throw it!!” That’s why the third time, when they come back, they won’t give it to you, they go, (through clenched teeth) “No… I won’t let you take it!”


:lmao:
 
Oh my God... isn't that from Unrepeatable? I thought you haven't seen it.

Both those quotes are so funny!!!

*Don't fuckin' throw it!*

:lmao:
 
OMG. I forgot about the whole "Dracula" thing until I'm looking through the transcript


This is probably my favorite bit of ANY of his shows... I'm such a sucker for vampire mythology and I love how he makes fun of the cliches :lmao:


Let's go camping in the forest of death and blood!


Oh, it IS an axe murderer! IT IS!

http://www.auntiemomo.com/cakeordeath/unrepeatabletranscript.html#dracula
 
Oh yeah... he makes fun of Evil Dead too...


But they go off and camp in the forest, and then a storm comes in, they can’t go back, and the bridge’s been blown up by squirrels… And they stay in a house, a wooden house, and in the middle of the night some twit says, “Look, there’s something moving in the forest about eight miles away! I’ll go and check…” Don’t check, please don’t check… That’s what curtains are for, you go, (mimes peeking through window) “Oh, my God!” But they say, “I’ll go check, and I’ll take a thimble with me… Don’t come near me, I’ve got a thimble!” They never listen to the music, do they? (singing ominous melody) We’d be going, “I’m not going down there! It’s spooky down there.” (ominous melody continues) “It’s spooky down here too.” (mimes taking a step and hearing ominous melody repeatedly, until he takes a step and the music is lively)

Sometimes this guy is determined to get there… (singing ominous melody) “Piss off, you cellist! Stop following me in the forest!” (mimes cellist walking away while playing) The guy goes deep into the forest, and once he does, you know he’s had it. He’s going… “Oh, it’s is an axe murderer! It is! We weren’t sure… I thought it was either you or a badger! You know, could be a badger or an axe murderer, and it’s you! (mimes axe murderer whacking character) Oh, send a party!”

Cellist!!! :lmao:
 
I love the part of Definite Article where he does the "mice" parody of The Italian Job...

http://www.auntiemomo.com/cakeordeath/DAtranscript.html#italian

“You aren’t supposed to blow the bloody doors off! Told you about that… What are you doing, coming in here, and making such a fracas? Now tell me the plan.”

“Well, we’ll drive the Minis into the square…”

“No, piazza.”

“Oh, it’s piazza, Charlie? And we load the cheese in the back of the Minis, and we drove it at you during a football match.”



They've got a flip chart!
 
He is hilarious. I saw him first on HBO then I bought the DVD. I love his bit about building stonehenge and those poor Welsh people pushing the rocks all that way. 'You bastard, now Ive forgoten where I live'
 
Zootlesque said:
And they stay in a house, a wooden house, and in the middle of the night some twit says, “Look, there’s something moving in the forest about eight miles away! I’ll go and check…”
Click to expand...

Originally posted by Zootlesque
They never listen to the music, do they?
Click to expand...

:lol: at both of these parts! Makes me think of many a horror movie I've seen...so true... "Eight miles away"-hehe...

I've heard of this guy, but I've not seen any of his stuff, just read the few quotes shared here, and someone else was talking about him one time and shared a few bits from him then, too. He sounds quite interesting, and there's some funny stuff in here. Perhaps I'll keep an eye out for any DVDs of his or something.

Angela
 
ENGLEBERT HUMPERDINCK!
Click to expand...

"Zingelbert Bembledack! Yingybert Dambleban! Zangelbert Bingledack! Wingelbert Humptyback! Slut Bunwalla!"

"What?!"

"All right, Kringelbert Fishtybuns! Steviebuns Bottrittrundle..."

"No, Gerry Dorsey, I like Gerry Dorsey!"

"No, we can't do it... Who we got? Zingelbert Bembledack, Tringelbert Wangledack, Slut Bunwalla, Klingybun Fistelvase, Dindlebert Zindledack, Gerry Dorsey, Engelbert Humptyback, Zengelbert Bingledack, Engelbert Humperdinck, Vingelbert Wingledanck…"

"No, no, go back one. Go back one. "Engelbert Humperdinck." That's it."

And it worked! But he's dead now, you hear that? Yeah, today, on CNN. I heard it as I was just coming out. Very weird, ‘cause Frank Sinatra was just recently as well, wasn't it? Yeah. Hmm. No, this is what I heard on the telly when I coming out. ( inhales deeply and exhales ) It's not true, heh. ( exhales ) No, it is true. Yeah, he was L.A. Something happened. He was in L.A., and that's all I caught… it was just before I came out. So, yeah. ( exhales ) No, it is true. No, he was in a car in L.A. driving along and something hit him or something like that. ( about 25 seconds of pauses and audience laughter, as Eddie nods and denies the truth of this statement ) No no, no, he's all right, he's all right! He's fine! He's cooking, he's jumping, he's doing his thing in L.A. - he's absolutely fine. How do I know? I don't know, I don't know! I think he's got a cold, that's what they said. No, a tan, that's it!
 
Eliv8 said:


"Zingelbert Bembledack! Yingybert Dambleban! Zangelbert Bingledack! Wingelbert Humptyback! Slut Bunwalla!"

"What?!"

"All right, Kringelbert Fishtybuns! Steviebuns Bottrittrundle..."

"No, Gerry Dorsey, I like Gerry Dorsey!"

"No, we can't do it... Who we got? Zingelbert Bembledack, Tringelbert Wangledack, Slut Bunwalla, Klingybun Fistelvase, Dindlebert Zindledack, Gerry Dorsey, Engelbert Humptyback, Zengelbert Bingledack, Engelbert Humperdinck, Vingelbert Wingledanck…"

"No, no, go back one. Go back one. "Engelbert Humperdinck." That's it."
Click to expand...

:lmao:

Great to know there are quite a few Izzard fans here! :up:
 
i was hoping to be able to see the aristocrats (eddie's in the movie), but it's not showing anywhere here. i'm surprised, there's a theatre here that usually shows indie shit like that and has showed stuff with NR/NC-17 ratings before. :down:
 
Zootlesque said:


:lmao:
What about this one?

Jeezy Creezy, what on earth is that?



I think pretty much everything except for 2003's Sexie is now available in the US... Dress to Kill, Glorious, Definite Article, Unrepeatable and Circle. Check Amazon.com.
Click to expand...



I am SOOOOOOOOO glad there are so many Eddie-ites out there in U2-land! Right on! :up:

I would also recommend eBay for finding Eddie cds and DVDs. He's done some movies also. Funny guy. And I always ask for CAKE! Hahahahahahahahaa!
 
U2Fanatic4ever said:
I so :love: Eddie!!!!!!!!!!!!! Would love to see him live..hopefully someday! I love Dressed to Kill.!!

Cake or Death bit is one of my favorites! :wink:
Click to expand...


No WAY! Something else in common! Yessssssssss! Can't wait till Vegas to see you again, chica!


P.S. I got Ckae or Death stickers and magnets on eBay.
 
Zootlesque said:
OMG Katie! I didn't know you were into Izzard! :hyper:

And that's a lovely avatar! :drool:

Who is it?
Click to expand...
yeah, sho. it's got a lot of comedians in the movie that i love.

you really like my avatar? :giggle: it's a guy:
blackandwhite1tb.jpg
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

Achtung_Bebe
IO: It's been a while...
Replies
2
Views
669
mikal
mikal
cobl04
New Zealander and Australian champion DOMINATES and embarrasses NASCAR field on debut
Replies
2
Views
522
cobl04
cobl04
M
Ticketmaster app
Replies
3
Views
500
rosephile
R
Z
Hello!
Replies
3
Views
824
zoo skis
Z
MrsSpringsteen
Atomic City
Replies
11
Views
1K
HeartlandGirl
HeartlandGirl

Latest posts

Back
Top Bottom