I reckon you need to be a good person to know how to raise a child to be a good person too. And that isn't always fullproof, but it helps. Do you know any inspirational and brilliant single parents? I do. They show that you dont need to necessarily be a good wife or husband first.
I'm still unclear on how you guys do this. Sorry, bls. What makes me know that my children are without a doubt the most important is not through the hours they seek from me every single day. It's not knowing that they need nappy changes which cannot wait, or that when they fall over they need comforting in an instant. It's not the daily ongoing needs which they drain energy from. It's not weighing up who gets more of my time in a day which determines who is most important. That only means who is most pressing. I know that mine are happy and that I have a husband who doesn't feel neglected. I also get 'me' time. What changes with them is knowing that I simply could not live without them. I would, if god forbid, something happened, but I feel that I cannot. That doesn't mean that I dont feel the same about my husband. But he is not my flesh and blood. He is my best friend and companion. He is my personal diary. He's not what children are. I guess the best way I can sum up how I worked this out is knowing that they are the ones I would go furthest for in this life. They are the ones I pretty much have no boundary on. Whatever it takes, will be done without question for them. I, like anyone, have a long list of important and loved people in my life. My own family, his family, our shared family, my friends. You guys would be the same with the addition of God to that list. In your ways of doing this, does this mean that what you'd do for God and your partners exceeds what you do for your children? If some ridiculous scenario could paint this properly, they (God and the partner) are the ones who will take that bit extra from you, before your kids?