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Old 12-08-2001, 03:56 AM   #1
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Your One-Stop, Non-Stop, U2 Porn Shop

Okay, I know some of the newbies are a little....excitable...

So I thought I'd corral 'em into one thread, by gathering up all the U2 Porn I could find.

If you're into the written word, I'd suggest a trip to www.fanfiction.net. They have top-quality U2 smut there.

If you want what we on PLEBA officially classify as "BonoPorn" than check out a demonstration of the Melpop roll (its in the Glossary) The video can be downloaded here:
www.multimania.com/melpop

But when it comes to PLEBA itself, this is the cream *ahem* of the crop.

First, here's Bluey, on who would make the best porn star:


I said it in chat and I'll say it again.
Adam, because he has that "hey, I'm here to fix your photocopier" look to him. I mean can't you just see him as the unsuspecting pizza delivery boy?? Come on.
Edge is not a porn star. You can dress him up like a porn star, but no way.
U2 attempting to be porn stars:

Edge:
*rings the doorbell* A naked woman answers. Edge looks anywhere except the naked woman "Umm, yeah hi. Here is your pizza. Umm, just take it. No I'm okay out here I will just uhhh" *blushes and runs away*

Bono:
*rings the doorbell* A naked woman answers. Bono smiles and raises his eyebrow. "Well, uhh, hi there! How are you?"
Naked woman: "Good, I'm really hot"
Bono: "Really? Well global warming is getting to be a problem, *looks into camera* that President Bush has to address. You see, Mr. Bush may think he can back out of the Kyoto protocol to satisfy his oil-rich sponsors, but I want you to know Mr. Bush that -"
Naked Woman: "Excuse me...aren't you supposed to- you know"
Bono: *remembering his role* "Oh, yeah right. I'm, uhh. here to deliver your pizza " bwaaaaa haa haaaa haaa! Oh, I'm sorry, it's just such a cheesy line. Maybe if I was dressed up as the devil or something but- Sorry, let's do another take, shall we?"
Naked Woman shuts the door in his face.

Larry
*rings doorbell*. A naked woman answers the door.
Larry: *hands her the pizza unfazed* That'll be 29.95 please.
Naked Woman; *confused* But, I'm not supposed to pay for this.
Larry: Well, look you ordered the pizza didn't you?
Naked Woman: Can't I work it off ?
Larry: *sighs* Look chicky, I have a family to support, now are you going to pay for your bloody pizza or should I just take it back. I really don't have all bleeding day.
Naked Woman: *gets her purse* Umm, okay. Here you go then *hands him some money and stares at him*
Larry: *Counts the money* Ehm, you are $2.00 short miss. *holds out his hand, the naked woman roots around in her purse and gives him the money* Now enjoy yer pizza. *Larry storms to his bike muttering and drives away*


Adam
*rings doorbell* A naked woman answers.
Adam: *big smile* Hi, I'm here to deliver your pizza . *Walks in the house, shuts the door.*


Unfortunately, I was only able to get one of MadamC's classic pics, but when I get back home to my own computer I'll post the rest from my hard drive. Of course, if someone else has 'em handy before I do, please post them! They are the BEST!





[This message has been edited by Echo (edited 12-08-2001).]
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Old 12-08-2001, 03:58 AM   #2
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Here are the four issues of my crowning achievement, TAMALE Magazine:










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Old 12-08-2001, 03:59 AM   #3
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Of course this thread wouldn't be complete without this picture:



Here's a couple panels from my comic strip, "Bono-Man!":



Thanks to Aitor Urkola for this one:



I was gonna post the paparazzi photos of Bono's arse, but 1) it hasnt been confirmed that its really Bono and 2) those pictures are NOT for the faint of heart.

*shudder*

I know there's more, but it's late and I'm off to bed. Anyone else who has porn to contribute, please do.

------------------
*Echo the Pimpstress* ... Proud Owner of Animatronic Edge!

"Sting, you know I love you but you got a hell of a lot to learn about Rock n' Roll." -Bono

"Bono's stuck! I need something to poke him with! I can't get Bono out!!" - Mona

"Just because he's 40, bald and has five kids doesn't mean he's not adorable!"
- Me, before a LONG silence


Bono-Man! An Epic Superhero Adventure!

The Official PLEBA Glossary: Delicious AND Nutritious!

Go lí neach neamhshaolta do dhiosca crua. - May an alien being lick your hard disk.
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Old 12-08-2001, 04:04 AM   #4
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LMAO!!!!

Thank you, Echo.

*wipes eyes*

*chuckle*
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Old 12-08-2001, 04:05 AM   #5
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MMMMMMM....a good middle of the night snack! Thank you very much...but I would like to see those Bono arse pics...I think I'm up for it!

hippy

------------------
One love, one life...
Give peace a chance!
Don't let the bastards grind you down!

BONO: I think you pull it.
HIPPYACTRESS: !!
BONO: Or push it.
BONO: Just....feckin’ twist it, I guess. I don't know. I WANT MORE!!
HIPPYACTRESS: *passes out*
BONO: NURSE!!! *rings bell* I did it again!
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Old 12-08-2001, 04:09 AM   #6
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Here's a few porn-related excerpts from PLEBA threads. First one, of course, is mine:

So I'm taking a walk w/ my roommate. We'd just watched the Popmart video, and I noted to her, "Doesn't the Edge's moustache make him look like a porn star?" Right then, this woman passes by us, and hears a few *ahem* key words in what I said, and does an obvious double take as she passes. We see her do it, and crack up. I voice this woman's thoughts to my roommate:

"Edge is a porn star?"

So from then on, whenever things were in a state of confusion, we would pause, look around, and say in unison, "Wait, what?! Edge is a porn star?!"


And when it comes to porn, even The Riddler (devious flirt that he is) has to throw his two cents in:

Its a little known fact that this is indeed true.....a porn film was made circa 1997 by a Dublin film and media company called "A whole lotta bull" and entitled "Being taken to the edge and back" featuring the acting skills and positions of one Reg Knob.
There are still copies to be found in the bargain bins of various Dublin video stores in the redlight district.


Oh look what I found:



It would take WAY too long to explain that one.

And how could I have forgotten this:




Hey....who's got the Bono's Underwear Frenzy Pics?

Great, now I gotta go find those as well....*sigh* U2 Porn is HARD WORK!


One more thing: if you haven't yet, check this thread
http://forum.interference.com/u2feed...ML/002794.html

for the following:
1) The Bono Sex Survey
2) Details of the "Bottle-sucking incident"
3) The imaginary U2 XXX-rated film



[This message has been edited by Echo (edited 12-08-2001).]
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Old 12-08-2001, 05:39 AM   #7
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I never thought I'd say "thank you" to someone for anything porn related....but THANKS, Echo, these are a HOOT!!

Love the Bluey bit on who would make the best porn star!

and um...Sparky...er... *combust*
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Old 12-08-2001, 06:23 AM   #8
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Quote:
Oh, lordy, Edge had joined the Village People...never thought I'd see the day...wait, I thought Adam was the "flaming pop-tart"? (See GiantLemon's hot date)

------------------
One love, one life...
Give peace a chance!
Don't let the bastards grind you down!

Bono: I don't walk, I swagger! I sashayed once, but just once. It wasn't for me.

[This message has been edited by hippyactress (edited 12-08-2001).]
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Old 12-08-2001, 09:41 AM   #9
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that pizza delivery bit was hysterical. I could go for a good slice right now....
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Old 12-08-2001, 12:12 PM   #10
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I echo Elizabeth...

Also, I highly recommend that anyone who hasn't stop by the U2 fanfic section at www.fanfiction.net because it's just...awesome. I know Echo recommended it too. Also, if you writer hetero U2 erotica, PLEASE contribute...all the slash gets a tiny bit old, though some of it is quite good.



------------------
If you cannot live together in here, you cannot live together out there, let me tell ya. --Bono

You've got to cry without weeping, talk without speaking, scream without raising your voice... --Bono
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Old 12-08-2001, 12:23 PM   #11
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fan.......fiction......dot......net.....

the BEST creation since that Sting website...lol

------------------
~*Mona*~ 97% compatible with Bono
Love me, give me soul.

A little less circuitry,
a little more poetry.


"For the good of the nation, you must defile Bono!" ~Echo~

The Latin Americans have the sexy end[of Catholicism]~BonoBaby~

7:00pm Bono plays Tetris on Powerbook instead of writing lyrics.
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Old 12-08-2001, 12:39 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally posted by WildHonee:
fan.......fiction......dot......net.....

the BEST creation since that Sting website...lol

I agree! (What Sting website???)

Thanks Echo!

------------------
"The idea is to eroticize the male body instead of the female." - Bono

Well, again, within that spirit of not-seriousness:
"To all intents and purposes, the mystery and power of the penis is, what will it become?" - Adam
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Old 12-08-2001, 12:41 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally posted by On The Edge:
I agree! (What Sting website???)

Thanks Echo!

nnoooottthhhiiinnnggg.....
*secrets* *hide*


------------------
~*Mona*~ 97% compatible with Bono
Love me, give me soul.

A little less circuitry,
a little more poetry.


"For the good of the nation, you must defile Bono!" ~Echo~

The Latin Americans have the sexy end[of Catholicism]~BonoBaby~

7:00pm Bono plays Tetris on Powerbook instead of writing lyrics.
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Old 12-08-2001, 01:26 PM   #14
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No fair teasing...you gotta share now!

------------------
If you cannot live together in here, you cannot live together out there, let me tell ya. --Bono

You've got to cry without weeping, talk without speaking, scream without raising your voice... --Bono
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Old 12-08-2001, 01:35 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally posted by Echo:
[b]
Larry
*rings doorbell*. A naked woman answers the door.
Larry: *hands her the pizza unfazed* That'll be 29.95 please.
Naked Woman; *confused* But, I'm not supposed to pay for this.
Larry: Well, look you ordered the pizza didn't you?
Naked Woman: Can't I work it off ?
Larry: *sighs* Look chicky, I have a family to support, now are you going to pay for your bloody pizza or should I just take it back. I really don't have all bleeding day.
Naked Woman: *gets her purse* Umm, okay. Here you go then *hands him some money and stares at him*
Larry: *Counts the money* Ehm, you are $2.00 short miss. *holds out his hand, the naked woman roots around in her purse and gives him the money* Now enjoy yer pizza. *Larry storms to his bike muttering and drives away*

[This message has been edited by Echo (edited 12-08-2001).]
ROFL!!! ...that is hilarious! i can just see Larry doin'that!

------------------
sunlight, sunlight fills my room
it's sharp and it's clear
but nothing at all like the moon..."


*+*MaRiA*+*
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Old 12-08-2001, 01:41 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally posted by paxetaurora:
No fair teasing...you gotta share now!

Uh oh. Echo, I've got myself in a pickle.

...now I'm starvin.'



------------------
~*Mona*~ 97% compatible with Bono
Love me, give me soul.

A little less circuitry,
a little more poetry.


"For the good of the nation, you must defile Bono!" ~Echo~

The Latin Americans have the sexy end[of Catholicism]~BonoBaby~

7:00pm Bono plays Tetris on Powerbook instead of writing lyrics.
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Old 12-08-2001, 02:23 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally posted by paxetaurora:
No fair teasing...you gotta share now!


I corrupted Mona with a website.

Wait, let me be specific....

I gave Mona the URL to a website full of naked pictures of Der Stingelhoffer. She just hasnt been the same since.

Well actually, she pretty much has...hormonal and hyper. *shrug*



------------------
*Echo the Pimpstress* ... Proud Owner of Animatronic Edge!

"Sting, you know I love you but you got a hell of a lot to learn about Rock n' Roll." -Bono

"Bono's stuck! I need something to poke him with! I can't get Bono out!!" - Mona

"Just because he's 40, bald and has five kids doesn't mean he's not adorable!"
- Me, before a LONG silence


Bono-Man! An Epic Superhero Adventure!

The Official PLEBA Glossary: Delicious AND Nutritious!

Go lí neach neamhshaolta do dhiosca crua. - May an alien being lick your hard disk.
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Old 12-08-2001, 02:25 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally posted by Echo:
I corrupted Mona with a website.

Wait, let me be specific....

I gave Mona the URL to a website full of naked pictures of Der Stingelhoffer. She just hasnt been the same since.

Well actually, she pretty much has...hormonal and hyper. *shrug*
heheh

P.S. I'm starting your play, Echo. I need to figure out the casting, bc Edge might need to have 12 parts.

ECHO: Did you mention Edge's PARTS?

*sigh*


------------------
~*Mona*~ 97% compatible with Bono
Love me, give me soul.

A little less circuitry,
a little more poetry.


"For the good of the nation, you must defile Bono!" ~Echo~

The Latin Americans have the sexy end[of Catholicism]~BonoBaby~

7:00pm Bono plays Tetris on Powerbook instead of writing lyrics.
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Old 12-08-2001, 02:28 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally posted by Echo:

I gave Mona the URL to a website full of naked pictures of Der Stingelhoffer. She just hasnt been the same since.


uh, hello!? i think this url must be shared with us Sting lovers here...

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Old 12-08-2001, 02:32 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally posted by MissVelvetDress:
uh, hello!? i think this url must be shared with us Sting lovers here...

Me and my big mouth.



------------------
~*Mona*~ 97% compatible with Bono
Love me, give me soul.

A little less circuitry,
a little more poetry.


"For the good of the nation, you must defile Bono!" ~Echo~

The Latin Americans have the sexy end[of Catholicism]~BonoBaby~

7:00pm Bono plays Tetris on Powerbook instead of writing lyrics.
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