What The Heck Is Going On!

[Moonlit_Angel]

From his 1999 HBO comedy special "Dressed to Kill"...
Eddie: You say, "Do you want a cup of coffee?" and she says, "Yeah, okay." Then sex is on, yes? Doesn't always work, though. If the President of Burundi says do you want a cup of coffee...

...ah, I see. Yeah, that would be a little odd...

Originally posted by Edgespet
Here's the link to other quotes fromDTK
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0184424/quotes

If you're not familiar with Eddie, you need to check him out. He's one of the funniest men I've ever seen!

I had never heard of him until now, I must say. He sure seems interesting, though. I particularly got a kick out of these quotes from the link you shared:

"What shall we call our son so he does not get the shit kicked out of him at school? We shall call him Englebert Humperdink! Yes, that'll work."

Haha, no kidding! I mean, seriously, what parent in their right mind would look at their new baby and go, "Yes! Englebert Humperdink is the name for you!" Must be a family thing or something...nobody could possibly just pull a name like that out of the air.

"We stole countries! That's how you build an empire. We stole countries with the cunning use of flags! Just sail halfway around the world, stick a flag in. "I claim India for Britain." And they're going, "You can't claim us. We live here! There's five hundred million of us." "Do you have a flag?" "We don't need a bloody flag, this is our country you bastard!" "No flag, no country! You can't have one. That's the rules... that... I've just made up! And I'm backing it up with this gun... that was lent from the National Rifle Association."

"The National Rifle Association says that, "Guns don't kill people, uh, people do." But I think, I think the gun helps. You know? I think it helps. I just think just standing there going, "Bang!" That's not going to kill too many people, is it? You'd have to be really dodgy on the heart to have that."

Hehe. I have issues with the NRA (saw a video on that group in my AP Government class a couple of years back...wowie, they're an interesting bunch (no offense to anyone out there who may support them), so these make me giggle).

"You say 'erbs', and we say 'herbs', because there's a fucking 'H' in it!"

. Silent letters are odd little things, aren't they?

"Vicar, I have done many bad things." "Well, so have I." "Well, what should I do?" "Well, drink 5 Bloody Mary's... and you won't remember."

.

Good stuff. .

Angela

 

[Edgespet]

...ah, I see. Yeah, that would be a little odd...



I had never heard of him until now, I must say. He sure seems interesting, though. I particularly got a kick out of these quotes from the link you shared:

"What shall we call our son so he does not get the shit kicked out of him at school? We shall call him Englebert Humperdink! Yes, that'll work."

Haha, no kidding! I mean, seriously, what parent in their right mind would look at their new baby and go, "Yes! Englebert Humperdink is the name for you!" Must be a family thing or something...nobody could possibly just pull a name like that out of the air.

"We stole countries! That's how you build an empire. We stole countries with the cunning use of flags! Just sail halfway around the world, stick a flag in. "I claim India for Britain." And they're going, "You can't claim us. We live here! There's five hundred million of us." "Do you have a flag?" "We don't need a bloody flag, this is our country you bastard!" "No flag, no country! You can't have one. That's the rules... that... I've just made up! And I'm backing it up with this gun... that was lent from the National Rifle Association."

"The National Rifle Association says that, "Guns don't kill people, uh, people do." But I think, I think the gun helps. You know? I think it helps. I just think just standing there going, "Bang!" That's not going to kill too many people, is it? You'd have to be really dodgy on the heart to have that."

Hehe. I have issues with the NRA (saw a video on that group in my AP Government class a couple of years back...wowie, they're an interesting bunch (no offense to anyone out there who may support them), so these make me giggle).

"You say 'erbs', and we say 'herbs', because there's a fucking 'H' in it!"

. Silent letters are odd little things, aren't they?

"Vicar, I have done many bad things." "Well, so have I." "Well, what should I do?" "Well, drink 5 Bloody Mary's... and you won't remember."

.

Good stuff. .

Angela

Glad you liked it! I'm generally not too big on comedians, they usually get on my nerves, but he has me in the floor laughing! "Dressed to Kill" is the only one of his that I've got, but I've heard that the others are equally funny!

 

[dream chaser]

On the theme of the hokey pokey from a previous post...

"You put your left foot in..."

OR

"Fee fi fo fum, I think I smell a..."

OR

"Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting!"

 

[dream chaser]

"Ok, if a 3 foot green Yoda can move a spaceship with his mind, I should be able to open the darn Lemon."

OR

"I have a headache THIS BIG and it's got Excedrin written all over it."

 

[dream chaser]

A: I'm so cool.
B: Yeah, I am definitely the coolest.
L: Look at these wankers. I am by far the coolest.
E: I wonder how I can apply Einstein's theory of relativity to my latest riff...

OR

E: Hey! How come no one told me you guys were all wearing black today? You guys suck. I'm taking my guitar and going home.

 

[Moonlit_Angel]

at all of yours, dream chaser! .

Glad you liked it! I'm generally not too big on comedians, they usually get on my nerves, but he has me in the floor laughing! "Dressed to Kill" is the only one of his that I've got, but I've heard that the others are equally funny!

Cool. Thanks for letting me know about him. . I like checking out comedians. Perhaps you could do that for a career someday, 'cause as I've said before, you're pretty funny. .

Angela

 

[neutral]

A: I'm so cool.
B: Yeah, I am definitely the coolest.
L: Look at these wankers. I am by far the coolest.
E: I wonder how I can apply Einstein's theory of relativity to my latest riff...