What if...

[Bbug]

The boys were in movies, but movies that'd been PLEBA-cized??? Like, I dunno..."Bono Poppins" or something...hang on, I can't really explain it...

EXAMPLE:
"bono poppins: the magic hyper nanny who teaches kids to be tidy and use their imaginations!"

FEATURING:
Bono Hewson, as title character
BONO: Come on get happy! YEAH! *bono boogie*
CHILDREN: Em, can't we just go clean our rooms?
BONO: Okay, but first we have to drink coffee and sing a song! *plugs in MR COFFEE*
JANE: Run for it, Michael!
MICHAEL: No!! Don't be a hero!

Larry Mullen Jr, as hunky surly chimeney sweep.
LARRY: *snarl at camera as dance scene goes on behind him*
BONO: Never need a reason, never need a rhyme, Bono Poppins step in time!
LARRY: *snaps and pounds bono with drumsticks* GAH! Bloody-- that's exactly what you need, you wanker!!*
JANE: *mesmerized by Larry's good looks*
MICHAEL: *calls 911*

Edge, as professor of aeronautics/designer of kites
EDGE: Let's go fly a kite...come on kids! Come on Bono, grab one and let's go!
BONO: *tangled up in kite string* No, go on ahead without me!
CHILDREN: Silly Bono Poppins, all tangled up! *giggle*
BONO: No, i'm writin' a song kids! Go on now...have fun!

Adam, as that eccentric guy who laughs a lot
ADAM: *holding funny little cigarette* I love to laugh, hahaha! heeehehheeheheh! WOHOOHOOOHOOHOO!
CHILDREN: Bono Poppins, what's that smell!?
BONO: Never you mind...let's go to the park...

Ali, as the bird lady
ALI: For only TUPPENCE---tuppence, tuppence a bag--- you can help to save the endangered cock-eyed Dublin pigeon! Please, think of our ecosystem and the delicate balance of life...
CHILDREN: Please Bono Poppins, please can we feed the birds!?!
BONO: em, okay I guess...*gives tuppence to each kid* *takes off shades to polish them* *spots Ali and begins to chat her up* Hey angel baby, what cloud d'you fall from!?
CHILDREN: EW!! Bono Poppins has a girlfriend!
MICHAEL: Girls are icky, Bono Poppins!
ALI: No they aren't! VOTES FOR WOMEN, STEP IN TIME!!!
*dance number: larry, edge, adam, ann, morleigh, suzy appear.*
ANN: Come on love, DANCE!
LARRY: Dammit, I don't like to! This is bloody ridiculous!
BONO: LARRY! Pottymouthed drummers have to sit in Time-Out!
LARRY: *brandishes stick*

okay, do you get the idea?? What do you think!?

 

[Bonochick]

Bono Poppins got mentioned elsewhere on Interference one time...I remember cuz I made this picture:

I ended up editing that pic for Ryan Adams too.

 

[brdemi]

That is so funny!
I'd even be willing to pay the ungodly movie ticket prices just to see them all doing a big dance number

 

[IWasBored]

<---confused

 

[verte76]

That pic is a hoot, BC.

 

[Bbug]

LOL @ that picture!!

 

[bayernfc]

that's one fffffuuuunnnnnyyyyy picture!!

 

[martha]

The boys were in movies, but movies that'd been PLEBA-cized??? Like, I dunno..."Bono Poppins" or something...hang on, I can't really explain it...

God help me, and I really do hate to porn up another thread, because that script was priceless , but what came to mind was Bono Poppins pulling all sorts of...er... wonderful...toys...out of his magic carpetbag. With a wicked grin on his face. Just for me.

 

[flaming june]

I had a deja vu about this thread...

 

[Bbug]

how about...'Lemon'?

this one is more obscure...less good...oh well, *posts anyway*

"Mr Lemon" (based on "harvey" with James Stewart)

FEATURING: Adam Clayton as the charming, eccentric and posh...Adam Clayton, who befriends a 6-foot tall lemon which only he can see.

ADAM: *staring into space smoking ciggie* Hello there! What's that? You need a light, too, Mr Lemon? Okay *lighter* There ya go! *sublime smile*

Larry Mullen Jr. as his pragmatic and serious brother, who wants nothing to do with Mr Lemon
LARRY: *peeks into bar only to see Adam there, lost in conversation with an empty stool.* Bloody hell! ADAM! We have a show tonight-- two martinis! what are you--
ADAM: Oh, sorry Lar! How rude of me! One's for my friend--
LARRY: Mr Lemon, yeah, whatever! *whacks adam with his sticks* Come on, you! *drags Adam by ear*

The Edge as that guy who made the mechanical gate outside the mental hospital
EDGE: *opens gate*
ADAM: My! Isn't that clever! I'm Adam Clayton, the poshest and bestest bassist ever! Nice to meet you, sir! *handshake*
EDGE: Thanks! I-- I made this myself...*blush*
ADAM: Amazing! I'd introduce you to my friend *turns and smiles into thin air* *looks around* *frowns* but I don't know where he's gone off to...
EDGE: Oh, don't worry...
ADAM: Well then, I'll see you! *posh but friendly wave*

Bono as the head psychiatrist who's crazier than any of the patients
*Dr Bono's office*
LARRY: So you see, he insists there's a giant lemon-- 6 feet tall--with arms and legs and everything. And he's been drinking a lot lately...
BONO: *spinning around in wheeley chair* I see...hmm. Larry, that's your name, right?
LARRY: Yes, Dr Bono, but what I'm worried about is my brother---
BONO: *buzzes front desk* Now Larry, you can be honest with me. Here you don't have to hide your problems...it's you who's drinking and hallucinating, isn't it??
LARRY: Wait--what!?! No, MY BROTHER-- Adam-- he's right outside! Where'd you get yer license anyway?? *reaches for stick*
ORDERLY *p mcG cameo*: *grabs larry and drags him away*
LARRY: HEY! HEY! What the bloody--!?
ADAM: *pops in* Hullo, you must be Dr Bono, I believe we had an appointment?
BONO: Adam, right? Well, the truth is, I feel your brother needs to be committed.
ADAM: *sigh* I told Larry to lighten up, but he just wouldn't listen...
BONO: yeah, what a drag, I know. But just sign here and we'll take good care of 'im.
ADAM: okay, it's too bad, really--hey--wanna have a drink with me later?? I'd like you to meet a friend of mine
BONO: Okay, cool!

 

[madamc]

 

[bayernfc]

 

[Bbug]

"The sound of drumming"

LARRY: *in the office of a monastery* So you see, everywhere I go, someone's always lustin' after me. It's getting real annoying, I just hafta put an end to it...I want to become a monk!
ABBOT: *played by PMcG* Hmm, well, I see your point, Lawrence--
LARRY: Could you call me "brother larry" please?
ABBOT: *clears throat* No, I can't. Not yet. Lawrence, I think you should consider this carefully. Look, there's a family nearby...a large family...and they need a nanny who can teach music. Sister Hazel at the convent down the street was supposed to go, but she has chicken pox. What do you say?
LARRY: As long as there's no lustin' after me!

*later that week*
LARRY: *rings mansion doorbell*
ADAM: *answers in butler outfit* Hullo, you must be Brother Larry. My name's Jeeves, but you can call me Adam.
LARRY: *snarl* Allright, I guess. *darting eyes* *suspicion* Hey, where are the kids, anyway? There *ARE* kids, aren't there!?!
ADAM: *gorgeous Adam smile* Yeah, hang on...*whistle*
(three children come running, followed by two servants)
CHILDREN: Hello, Brother Larry! *smile cutely*
YOUNGEST: I love you brother larry! *hug*
LARRY: *uncomfortable* Em...okay...what's yer name, li'l fella?
EDGE: *dressed as cook* Em, we can't tell you.
BONO: *dressed as gardener* Well, we could, but...the lady of the house doesn't want it divulged.
LARRY: That's weird. Well li'l fella, I'll call you...Elvis. Come on then, where's the nursery anyway?

*later in the garden*
BONO: hum hum hum. HUM DE DUM DUM!! LALALA!! *humming gets progressively louder*
EDGE: *runs outside* Hey, Bono! Cut it out, okay? Ann's havin' tea with that Baron guy.
BONO: oh, shit. Hey, what's with that guy anyway? Has he got a stick up his bum or what?
*music starts*
EDGE: *singing* Yeah he's really kinda mean that mean old baron!
BONO: *also singing* Yeah he never smiles never laughs, oh no!
EDGE: He's not very nice, that wanky baron!
BONO: Behind her back he called our ann a ho!
EDGE: He doesn't like the children, he doesn't like my food
BONO: Singing this damn song is bringing on one of my moods *begins to dance*
EDGE: *joins in*
*inside, larry is getting PO'd by the noise from the garden. He looks out the window, only to see edge and bono prancing around like ninnies. He snarls and scoffs.*
LARRY: C'm'ere kids, let's show 'em how to act cool.
YOUNGEST: Like elvis, brother larry!?
OTHERS: Yes, like elvis, right!?
LARRY: *Proud smile* Yep, kids-- jus' like elvis!

 

[Bbug]

The sound of drumming part II

*Larry strides forcefully out to the garden, the children scamper along behind him*
LARRY: HEY! Shouldn't the two of you be working on something? Or does that woman pay you to prance around like arses!?
MIDDLE KID: Brother Larry! You said a curse word!!!!
LARRY: I'm sorry kids...
BONO: Hey, edge, let's teach 'em our song about not cursing! We write songs, brother, you know...
EDGE: yeah, we've kind of a band...
LARRY: Great, but shouldn't you--
BONO: *opens mouth to begin singing*
LARRY: HEY! NO! Look, there's no call for that...*looks back at house* hey, who's that weird guy?
OLDEST KID: That's the evil baron! He wants to marry our mommy!
LARRY: Oh. Well, let's go back inside then.
CHILDREN: BYE BONO! BYE EDGE!
*later that day*

BARON: *standing in front of mirror* MUAHAHAHA! Oh you are beautiful, Michael. *preens* Yes, soon Ann will be the Baroness von Bolton, and I can steal all her money, ship her children off to military school, kick her dogs, and do various other evil things! MUAHAHAHAHA!
EDGE AND BONO: *overhear*
EDGE: what're we gonna do!?
BONO: I dunno, edgie...
ADAM: *pops in* Hey guys what's up? What d'you think of the new music teacher?
EDGE: Adam we're SPYING...
ADAM: *rolls eyes in posh manner* Oh that dreadful baron!! I hope Ann dumps him.
BONO: I dunno, mate, I think he's gonna propose to 'er...*opens mouth to sing in whispery voice* I think he wants to marry her, then we'll all lose our jobs
EDGE: he'll probably hire non-union servants
BONO: I bet they will be slobs
ADAM: fellas, come on, calm yourselves
B&E TOGETHER: Adam don't be such a snob! Let's get that music guy to warn ANN!
ADAM: he won't meet her-- don't you know, it's lust he fears
BONO: I see your point, or could, if I were gay
EDGE: Wait a minute, here Larry comes
BONO: he'd stop ann from taking the plunge!
ADAM: You guys this song is getting really lame! So shut up here he comes-- try to sound real cool-- we'll lure them both outside beside the pool!
B&E TOGETHER: The pool! The pool! Of course-- we were such fools! We'll get them both outside beside the pool!

 

[Bbug]

*bono and edge scamper off*
ADAM: *pretends to dust a table*
LARRY: *walking by* Oh, hey Adam.
ADAM: why hello brother! Em, could I trouble you for a moment?
LARRY: *frown of concern* What is it?
ADAM: I need some musical help...this bass thing I play-- could you help me?
LARRY: Okay, em, well if you wanna meet me in the rumpus room...
ADAM: *aghast* RUMPUS ROOM!?!?!
LARRY: em...I mean...
ADAM: well, at any rate, I always play by the pool...
LARRY: *scowl* the pool!? What the bl-- I mean, why, em, my, em...brother...or something?
ADAM: Inspiration. Plus I can smoke out there and no one cares
LARRY: Okay
ADAM: So pool in a few moments?
LARRY: yep, bye!
ADAM: Okay!

*MEANWHILE*

EDGE: *knocks on Ann's door* Em, Miss Ann?
ANN: Oh! Edge! I'm sorry, I have a date in an hour with Baron von Bolton...I mean, Michael. *dreamy sigh* He's just so perfect...
EDGE: Em, well, I hate to bother you, but Bono tangled himself up in the garden hose again.
ANN: Well can't you take care of that, dear edge?? I mean usually you do...
EDGE: Well there are some wrought iron deck chairs involved and it's kind of cloudy out tonight, I need you to hold the torch, if that's okay.
ANN: What about that music fellow? And Adam?
EDGE: Em, Brother Larry's praying...a lot...and it's Adam's night off. He...em...went to the library!
ANN: *sigh* Well, allright. Poor dear Bono! Let me put on my jeans and I'll be right down.
EDGE: I'll get the torch.

 

[verte76]

Re: Re: What if...

God help me, and I really do hate to porn up another thread, because that script was priceless , but what came to mind was Bono Poppins pulling all sorts of...er... wonderful...toys...out of his magic carpetbag. With a wicked grin on his face. Just for me.

Well, heck, Martha, that's certainly, uh, in character for Bono.

 

[FallingStar]

Mary Poppins scares me.


But i love the pun with Bono 'Poppins' since in German poppen is a word for .

 

[Bbug]

*at the pool*
LARRY: *looks at watch* Dammit...I mean, heavens to betsy! Where could Adam be. *shakes head* GAH! I'm not cut out for this brother thing...and yet, I can't go about, getting my clothes torn off me at every turn...lusty feckin' women. *scowl*

*in the garden*
ANN: EDGE!?!? BONO!?!?! Poor Bono, where can you be??
LARRY: *scowl* HEY! Who's there!?! Adam? ADAM!?
ANN: Adam has tonight off!
LARRY: Who the bl-- I mean, I'm brother Larry, who the hel-- I mean, what is your name, my child??
ANN: Shouldn't that be, 'my sister'?? *turns on flashlight*
LARRY: Em...don't look at me! *turns around and closes eyes*
ANN: *inching closer* Why not?
LARRY: I'm a monk now...I can't just run around gettin' see by women an' crap.
ANN: oh, don't worry! I'm spoken for. I'm about to be engaged to Baron Michael von Bolton. He's great and I think he'll be a wonderful father to the children...tell me, how have the children been treating you? I'm standing right behind you...
LARRY: I know...I can, em...feel yer breath in my...*swallow*ear. *turns around, attempting to scowl* I'm Larry Mu- I mean, I'm Brother Larry. Nice to meet you. *extends hand*
ANN: *dumbfounded* Why, hello brother larry! Em...
*uncomfortable silence*
LARRY: So does adam always leave the new guy hangin' out alone by the pool with some cock an' bu-- I mean, after spinning some...fictional...yarn, kinda like Happy Gilmore? You know, when *hand gestures* and the sprinklers...
ANN: *dreamy smile* mmmmm...OH! *looks at watch* Poor michael...baron von bolton, I mean...I'm keeping him waiting. Em...*hands larry flashlight* do you mind helping edge find poor bono?? I must be off! *scurries away*
LARRY: okay. *watches her leaving, unsure whether to be upset about another lusty woman or charmed by her*

 

[bayernfc]

I was thinking.....how about one with a west side story theme? or Gone with the wind?........I'm not much of a writer, or i would have thought of something!

 

[Bbug]

LOL!

*adam as rhett and n.c. as scarlett* Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn!

 

[bayernfc]

LOL!

*adam as rhett and n.c. as scarlett* Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn!