U2 On the Dating Game!!!! - U2 Feedback

Go Back   U2 Feedback > Your Blue Room > PLEBA > PLEBA Archive
Click Here to Login
 
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
 
Old 11-15-2001, 06:20 PM   #1
War Child
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: The Echosphere
Posts: 769
Local Time: 07:30 AM
U2 On the Dating Game!!!!

Okay, here's what I came up with...I know there's not much for MacPhisto or the Fly, but you guys are welcome to add to it.

I'd like to thank the lovely and talented ScottPhisto for helping me with the Bachelors' introductions. I made him the host of the show; the Bachelorette remains nameless so we can all picture ourselves in such a fortunate position...

*LIGHTS COME UP*

SCOTTPHISTO: Hello and welcome to another episode of the Dating Game!

*APPLAUSE & CHEESY MUSIC*

SCOTTPHISTO: Let's meet our contestants: He's a demonic cat from the Netherworld who likes to call random government facilities from rock concerts. He enjoys martinis, sequins, and brimstone.....give it up for MaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaacPhisto!!!!

*APPLAUSE*

SCOTTPHISTO: He's a Dublin-born blonde bombshell who's a Harley-Davidson enthusiast! He'll take you for a ride...and then he'll show you his motorcycles! Here's Larry...Mullen....Junior!

*APPLAUSE*

SCOTTPHISTO: He'll give you the shirt off his back, and his sarong too, let's hear it for Adam Clayton!

*APPLAUSE*

SCOTTPHISTO: All he's got is a red guitar, three chords, and the truth. He enjoys leather, chess, and saving the world, here's Bono!

*APPLAUSE*

SCOTTPHISTO: He's the man with the shiniest crotch on the planet, give it up for the FLYYYYYYY!!!!

*APPLAUSE*

SCOTTPHISTO: Oh, and last we have the Ledge.

EDGE: Um, that's "Edge."

SCOTTPHISTO: Wedge, whatever. Let's play the game!

BACHELORETTE: Bachelor Number Four, if you were a drink, what kind of drink would you be?

BONO: I'd be a pint of Guinness, darlin'...dark, rich, and goes down easy.

LARRY: Don't forget "thick."

BACHELORETTE: Bachelor Number One, same question.

MACPHISTO: I'd be a Martini, my dearest, because I'm classy, my wit is always dry, and you can't resist gulping me down.

AUDIENCE: WOOOOOOOOOO!!

SCOTTPHISTO: Hey, don't look at me, folks, I didn't write that one.

BACHELORETTE: Bachelor Number Three, if you were President for a day, what laws would you try to pass?

ADAM: (Quickly hides bong behind back) What?! Me? I...em...let's see (rubs chin) what laws would I want to change...hmm...

*Adam uncrosses legs, "Basic Instinct"-style*

AUDIENCE: *GASP!*

*Adam re-crosses legs.*

ADAM: I think I'd just make a law outlawing trousers.

BACHELORETTE: *Ahem* Well, Bachelor Number Four...

LARRY: Oh, no...don't...

BACHELORETTE: Same question.

LARRY: Gah!

BONO: Well...To be interested in the rest of the world is necessary for all of us, and we need it. What I'm working toward on a daily basis is that next year's G8 summit will be a chance for the world to regroup on these issues. Even militarists recognize that this is a war you can't win with the usual ammunition. In our time an entire continent - Africa - has burst into flames, and we've stood around with watering cans. And then we wonder. We've just seen what happens when one nation, i.e., Afghanistan, implodes. What if the entire continent of Africa were to explode or implode? That is its present trajectory. You have 40 million AIDS orphans in the next ten years. The teachers are dying faster than you can train them. This is not just a problem unsustainable for Africa, but for the world. As somebody who's been working this groove for a while, to hear Colin Powell addressing these issues now gives me the greatest faith in the future. Perhaps out of this could come a newer, fairer world order, because it is clear that globalization does not work for most of the lives it impacts. The great thing about the United States is you have an expanding middle class. You want that for the rest of the world - the sense that they can get on the merry-go-round. When most people are left out of the equation, history tells us that revolt is around the corner...

SCOTTPHISTO: Okay, Bachelor Number Four, I think we get the point.

LARRY: I warned you! Didn't I warn you!

BACHELORETTE: This is a question for all the bachelors: If we were going to stay in and watch a video, what video would we rent?

LARRY: "Bang the Drum Slowly."

MACPHISTO: "Glitter."

BONO: "The Million Dollar Hotel."

EDGE: "The Naked Edge." *blush* Oh my God I can't believe I just said "The Naked Edge!" *blush* *Claps hand over mouth* Oh no I just said it again!

ADAM: Hm, well I'd have to say, then, "The Naked Adam."

BACHELORETTE: That's not a movie!

ADAM: Not yet...

BACHELORETTE: Bachelor Number Two.

LARRY: Yes.

BACHELORETTE: If you were given five thousand dollars to spend on me, what would you buy me?

*Suddenly one of Larry's buttons pops off, flies across the stage, and hits the Bachelorette in the eye.*

BACHELORETTE: OW!

LARRY: Um...safety goggles?

BACHELORETTE: Bachelor Number Three.

ADAM: Mmm. *Nods, eyes dart back and forth*

BACHELORETTE: What do your hobbies include?

ADAM: *Is silent*

BACHELORETTE: Bachelor Number Three?

ADAM: *won't open his mouth*

SCOTTPHISTO: We need an answer, Bachelor Number Three

BONO: (Laughs cruelly) Come on, Adam! Tell her! (He smacks Adam on the back. Adam wheezes and a plume of smoke billows out of his mouth)

ADAM: *Cough* Well, I uh...I have a little garden...

BACHELORETTE: Bachelor Number Six. If I were a stack of pancakes, what kind of syrup would you pour all over me?

EDGE: *Blush* Well, I...*bluuuush* I usually just have Rice Krispies...

BACHELORETTE: Bachelor Number Five, where would you take me on a romantic date?

THE FLY: Well, baby, I'd take you to the carnival, and we'd go through the Hall of Mirrors, that way we could BOTH spend all evening gazing at me!!

BACHELORETTE: Bachelor Number Three...Bachelor Number Three didn't you have a shirt on earlier?

ADAM: (Poker-faced) Nope.

BACHELORETTE: Are you sure?

ADAM: Yep.

BACHELORETTE: Hm. Okay. Bachelor Number Three, where would YOU take me on a romantic date?

ADAM: Well, first we'll go to the park and watch other people exercise. And then we'll go back to my castle, and I'll show you exactly why I'm going to be featured in the next issue of TAMALE Magazine.

BACHELORETTE: Bachelor Number Two, same question.

LARRY: Well, I'd take you to a vegetarian restaurant, 'cause I'm sick of having to give people my meat.

*Entire audience faints.*

*From some mysterious location Mona's voice can be heard.* WOOOOO YEAH!!!

EDGE: Did anyone else hear that?

BACHELORETTE: Bachelor Number Four. If you were an animal, what kind of animal would you be?

BONO: Well, I...

*Suddenly Mona falls out of the rafters and directly onto Bono.*

BONO: Oof!

MONA: (Shoves him into burlap bag and drags him offstage) Come on, Boner, we've got many lands to conquer...Your dressing room...the Green Room...the commissary...heh heh...


------------------
*Echo* The Proud Owner of Animatronic Edge!

"Romance is dead. Turns out all this time someone had just put sunglasses
on it and propped it up in a chair." -James "Kibo" Parry

"Are you implying that I'm an internet slut?" -Bono


Bono-Man! An Epic Superhero Adventure http://www.geocities.com/bonogoestovegas

The Official PLEBA Glossary: Replacing Crippling Confusion With Mere Disorientation!
http://www.vodkatea.com/g/glossary.asp?gid=165
__________________

Echo is offline  
Old 11-15-2001, 06:28 PM   #2
Refugee
 
Can'tSeeOrBeSeen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Posts: 1,411
Local Time: 02:30 AM
PRICELESS!!!!!!!!!!
__________________

Can'tSeeOrBeSeen is offline  
Old 11-15-2001, 06:30 PM   #3
War Child
 
MissVelvetDress's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Atlanta, GA , USA
Posts: 547
Local Time: 07:30 AM
*Suddenly one of Larry's buttons pops off, flies across the stage, and hits the Bachelorette in the eye.*

BACHELORETTE: OW!

LARRY: Um...safety goggles?

_____________________________________________

LMFAO...okay, that was too f&*$ing funny. I do not know how you come up with such off the wall stuff.
MissVelvetDress is offline  
Old 11-15-2001, 06:38 PM   #4
Rock n' Roll Doggie
 
Discoteque's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Hotter 'n' hell Texas: Dallas
Posts: 3,568
Local Time: 02:30 AM
*cheering loudest in audience*

*CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP!*

WOO HOO! HURRAH!!! More Dating Game!!

And HEY!!! What's with that Edge introduction, sheesh!! (just for that he ought to win!)

Brilliant, Echo, just brilliant!
Discoteque is offline  
Old 11-15-2001, 06:42 PM   #5
War Child
 
Foadie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: New York City.
Posts: 934
Local Time: 02:30 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by Echo:

LARRY: Well, I'd take you to a vegetarian restaurant, 'cause I'm sick of having to give people my meat.

Ahhhh.....beautiful. *snicker, giggle, snort, chortle* Too funny Echo!!!!!!!!!!!!
Foadie is offline  
Old 11-15-2001, 06:46 PM   #6
War Child
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: The Echosphere
Posts: 769
Local Time: 07:30 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by Discoteque:



And HEY!!! What's with that Edge introduction, sheesh!! (just for that he ought to win!)

I cannot claim responsibility for that one, actually...

But I'm sure the person who CAN just meant it in good humor.


[This message has been edited by Echo (edited 11-15-2001).]
Echo is offline  
Old 11-15-2001, 07:55 PM   #7
Rock n' Roll Doggie
VIP PASS
 
Gina Marie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Bruce's land of hope and dreams
Posts: 5,404
Local Time: 02:30 AM
What creative genius-WOW! I loved it.
Gina Marie is offline  
Old 11-15-2001, 08:11 PM   #8
Rock n' Roll Doggie
FOB
 
WildHoneyAlways's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: In a glass case of emotion
Posts: 8,158
Local Time: 02:30 AM
*cheers, whistles from the audience*
Honey volunteers to take the BACHELORETTE's place since she is now incapacitated from taking a button to the head!

Hysterical Echo!

------------------
~*Honey*~

The doors you open
I just can't close...

If you dream,
Dream out loud
WildHoneyAlways is offline  
Old 11-15-2001, 08:19 PM   #9
Refugee
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: where there is only love...
Posts: 1,122
Local Time: 07:30 AM
*LMAO*

OMG another classic! Can't wait to see Mona's reaction!

Lovin these stories, Echo......

------------------
~¤~*~¤~ Katie ~¤~*~¤~
a little girl with Irish eyes...

We'll shine like stars in the summer night
We'll shine like stars in the winter night
One heart
One hope
One love


roxyangel22@hotmail.com
wildhoney22 is offline  
Old 11-15-2001, 09:57 PM   #10
Rock n' Roll Doggie
 
elevatedmole's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: On a backwards river
Posts: 3,546
Local Time: 02:30 AM
Echo, that was absolutely exactly what I was thinking of! So so so funny.

------------------
it's no secret that a liar won't believe anyone else
elevatedmole is offline  
Old 11-15-2001, 10:03 PM   #11
Acrobat
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: In the arms of an angel...
Posts: 432
Local Time: 11:30 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by Echo:
I cannot claim responsibility for that one, actually...

But I'm sure the person who CAN just meant it in good humor.


[This message has been edited by Echo (edited 11-15-2001).]
*COUGH!* I'm sure it was.
Scottphisto is offline  
Old 11-15-2001, 10:06 PM   #12
Mr. MacPhisto's Loo Cleaner
 
WildHonee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: THE SOUL
Posts: 6,870
Local Time: 02:30 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by Echo:
LARRY: Well, I'd take you to a vegetarian restaurant, 'cause I'm sick of having to give people my meat.

*Entire audience faints.*

*From some mysterious location Mona's voice can be heard.* WOOOOO YEAH!!!

EDGE: Did anyone else hear that?

BACHELORETTE: Bachelor Number Four. If you were an animal, what kind of animal would you be?

BONO: Well, I...

*Suddenly Mona falls out of the rafters and directly onto Bono.*

BONO: Oof!

MONA: (Shoves him into burlap bag and drags him offstage) Come on, Boner, we've got many lands to conquer...Your dressing room...the Green Room...the commissary...heh heh...
LMAO, Echo!!!!! It's good to have the ins with the writer

*psst* Echo...ScottPhisto... heehee!

Poor Edge and his pancakes

------------------
~*Mona*~
97% compatible with Bono

"If we've got rockets, we tie our prayers to them and send them off."~Bono~

Magic Magic Magic Joe Houdini
WildHonee is offline  
Old 11-15-2001, 11:40 PM   #13
Rock n' Roll Doggie
FOB
 
WildHoneyAlways's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: In a glass case of emotion
Posts: 8,158
Local Time: 02:30 AM
Someone please write more to this episode! I would do it but the things I'm good at writing about (political parties, the history of British Parliament, the american identity, what really caused the civil war) aren't very funny! Drama---maybe but not like you girls. Don't make me beg---OKAY! I'll beg.

------------------
~*Honey*~

The doors you open
I just can't close...

If you dream,
Dream out loud
WildHoneyAlways is offline  
Old 11-15-2001, 11:46 PM   #14
War Child
 
drumkeeran's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Upstate NY, USA - own personal Bono pleaser
Posts: 959
Local Time: 02:30 AM
wahhah!!!!!

------------------
If your glass house should crack....POE
drumkeeran is offline  
Old 11-16-2001, 08:29 AM   #15
Rock n' Roll Doggie
Band-aid
 
Mullen-Girl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: San Antonio/Austin, TX
Posts: 4,951
Local Time: 02:30 AM
*screaming from the audience*

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeah Larry take it all off baby!!!!!

Larry:*snarl* *peer* *button flies in direction of MG*

*MG is hit in the head and passes out from the force of the flying button*

------------------
The U2 revolution has been reinstated.

THE Larry Mullen Jr. Page
www.angelfire.com/tx2/KITIYU2

Question from Caller:we want to know how he's maintained his youthful looks. we think he looks so much younger than the rest of the band

Larry:let me put it this way. Michael Jackson got the idea of the oxygen tent from me. and all this hanging out with monkeys and shit like that, it's all to do with that.

D&C: That's a funny story. How come you've managed to slow down the aging process?

LM: That's a good question. I think it's the healthy living. I do all the right things. It's all the creams. I don't know maybe it's in my Levi's.
Mullen-Girl is offline  
Old 11-16-2001, 09:09 AM   #16
Halloweenhead
Forum Moderator
 
Bonochick's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Cherry Lane
Posts: 40,819
Local Time: 03:30 AM
That was pretty cute!

------------------
"I don't know you,
But you don't know the half of it..."
Bonochick is offline  
Old 11-16-2001, 09:20 AM   #17
ONE
love, blood, life
 
JessicaAnn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Milwaukee, WI (USA)
Posts: 11,743
Local Time: 02:30 AM
LMAO That I think is your funniest story ever Echo.

------------------
Jessica

"Rock and roll doggie"
--Bono

"I'm very secure with the fact that I'm not black. I'm white, pink and rosy. But I've got soul."
--Bono

“We make music you can have sex to.”
--Bono

“Never trust a man who tells you it's from the heart, never trust a man smoking a cigar, never trust a cowboy or a man who wears shades.”
--Bono
JessicaAnn is offline  
Old 11-16-2001, 09:41 AM   #18
Refugee
 
MissZooropa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Bonoland
Posts: 1,230
Local Time: 09:30 AM
This is just about the funniest I've ever read!! *wipes the tears from my eyes*

Thank you Echo, I really needed that!!

Where do you all get it from. I love all those little dialogues you come up with, keep 'em coming, ok??

------------------
"U2 on it´s own is a very interesting group and all. But U2 with it´s audience is a culture" - Bono

"Hur er leget? Was it right? Hur är läget?" ~ Bono tries to speak swedish in Stockholm. Hur är läget? means How are you doing? by the way.
MissZooropa is offline  
Old 11-16-2001, 09:43 AM   #19
Refugee
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Mr. Macphisto's Chambers
Posts: 1,374
Local Time: 07:30 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by Mullen-Girl:
*
Larry:*snarl* *peer* *button flies in direction of MG*

*MG is hit in the head and passes out from the force of the flying button*

Blueeyes: *Walks in in very glittery, glam army fatigues...Macphisto is severly distracted. She looks at MG and sighs...* Buddy of mine took a button to the head in 'Nam. We sent her home in three bags. *sniff* Ahh, the memories.



------------------
"It costs a fortune to look this trashy." - Bono.
Bluephisto
blueeyes is offline  
Old 11-16-2001, 12:17 PM   #20
Rock n' Roll Doggie
Band-aid
 
Mullen-Girl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: San Antonio/Austin, TX
Posts: 4,951
Local Time: 02:30 AM
Blueeyes: *Walks in in very glittery, glam army fatigues...Macphisto is severly distracted. She looks at MG and sighs...* Buddy of mine took a button to the head in 'Nam. We sent her home in three bags. *sniff* Ahh, the memories.


BWWWWWWAHAHAHHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA, That's funny as hell


------------------
The U2 revolution has been reinstated.

THE Larry Mullen Jr. Page
www.angelfire.com/tx2/KITIYU2

Question from Caller:we want to know how he's maintained his youthful looks. we think he looks so much younger than the rest of the band

Larry:let me put it this way. Michael Jackson got the idea of the oxygen tent from me. and all this hanging out with monkeys and shit like that, it's all to do with that.

D&C: That's a funny story. How come you've managed to slow down the aging process?

LM: That's a good question. I think it's the healthy living. I do all the right things. It's all the creams. I don't know maybe it's in my Levi's.
__________________

Mullen-Girl is offline  
 

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 02:30 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Design, images and all things inclusive copyright © Interference.com
×