Echo
War Child
Behold, the latest collaboration from Mona and Echo!
The year 2041, A.D.: U2 have been relegated to the Shadows and Tall Shady Pines Nursing Home, formerly the PLEBA Mansion.
MULLENGIRL: *sniff* Look what's become of him...
GINA: Now, you knew that Larry couldn't stay a smooth criminal forever.
MULLENGIRL: Yeah, but did the hair have to start growing our of his EARS?
JULIE: I don't get it...we're working so hard for the guys...and we dont even get any elevation in return...Why is Echo always walking around with a big smile on her face?
MONA: *fume* Wish I'd had the foresight to build an animatron that was ageless.
ECHO: *breezes by* Don't forget anatomically correct.
MONA: *fume*
MULLEN GIRL: I don't understand...why did Larry have to start aging?
GINA: No one know...it happened about ten years ago...after he lost that weird crystal ball that he always used to carry around with him...
ECHO: He's got a lot of interesting stories to tell about his youth, though...playing the band...fighting in the civil war....defeating the Saxons...seducing Cleopatra...inventing fire...
CATDUBH: Adam you know I love you but arent you a little old to be wearing a sarong?
ADAM: But it brings out the color in my eyes!
CATDUBH: It brings out the color in your varicose veins is what it does.
*CRASH!*
ANA: WHat was that?
MONA: Bono's still getting the hang of his motorized wheelchair.
BONO: Can someone please come and put the television back upright? The Spice Girls movie is gonna be on soon!
*Mona puts the TV back on the table. Bono backs up his wheelchair and crashes into the couch.*
BONO: Oh, whoops. *rolls forward and runs over Animatronic Edge's kitten.*
KITTEN: ROWR!!
MULLENGIRL: Wait a minute...its 40 years in the future and Animatronic Edge still has a kitten?
ECHO: He's been cloning them for decades.
MONA: What happens to a kitten when it grows up?
ECHO: Well, the cloning has a nasty side effect...
MONA: Wait a minute...does this have anything to do with that room on the third floor that no one's allowed to go into?
ECHO: No, that's just where I keep all my porn.
LARRY: *cries* My ball...my ball....
MULLENGIRL: *trips* What?
LARRY: Ever since I lost my ball, I haven?t been the same.
GINA: Oh....em....
LARRY: What will I do without my crystal ball....
MULLENGIRL: Crystal?
DISCOTEQUE: I'll tell you one thing...I'm just glad they finally ceased publication of TAMALE Magazine.
ECHO: Still, it was long overdue...the last feature was Larry in a tear-away adult diaper.
MEANWHILE
BONO: Feck! I hate TV....Let?s watch some more. Gimmee more!
HIPPYACTRESS: *wanders in* What?
BONO: I WANT MORE.
HIPPYACTRESS: O...well...I?ve never really been a BonoFan, but, em....It--it?s great to hear you?re doing well with your Viagra and...um....
BONO: Turn it on, young lady!
HIPPYACTRESS: *stares* Um...
BONO: Come on, please? I don?t know how.
HIPPYACTRESS:.....are you sure?
BONO: Yes. The nurse once taught me how.
HIPPYACTRESS:....really? They do that kind of thing here? O man. That?s like what I saw on 60 Minutes that one time, and--
BONO: I think you pull it.
HIPPYACTRESS: !!
BONO: Or push it.
HIPPYACTRESS: ...do you want me to get Mona or something? Because, um....
BONO: Just....feckin? twist it, I guess. I don't know. I WANT MORE!!
HIPPYACTRESS: *passes out*
BONO: NURSE!!! *rings bell* I did it again!
MONA: *appears* What, without me?
BONO: I just wanna... *drives wheelchair towards television...crashes into coffe table.* OOF! *Falls out of wheelchair* Oh, I landed on my--
MEANWHILE
ELDERLY WOMEN: *Herd*
SCOTTPHISTO: ...do you feel the ground moving?
ELDERLY WOMEN: *stampede*
SCOTTPHISTO: Holy goya beans!!! They?re after me!...well....they?re...gradually....pursuing me....
ELDERLY WOMEN: *tossing pudding cups at ScottPhisto* Get back here, you young whippersnapper! We wanna gum ya!! YUMMY!!! *in hot pursuit in walkers and wheelchairs and on canes*
*DING A LING A LING*
GINA: WTF?
ECHO: The bell means it?s time to let the free range elderly get their exercise. They just release Larry--
MULLENGIRL: *giggles*
ECHO: -- and they follow him around. It?s GREAT. Now they want ScottPhisto to help Larry.
GINA:....to help release Larry? Geez, you?d think that--
BONO: I WANT MORE!!!!! GIMMEE!!!!!!
MONA: *runs* But didn?t you just fall on your--
DING A LING A LING A LING!!!!!
ECHO: Better get out there, ScottPhisto.
SCOTTPHISTO: *sigh* It?s hard being a man slut. Heheh I said hard and--
BONO: GIMMEE MORE!!!!
LATER
ECHO: Alright girls, it's sponge bath time. Grab a sponge and line up behind your man.
*Mona is chained to a wall so she will not do anything inappropriate to Bono.*
BLUEY: *grabbing sponge* This gets less and less fun every time. Bono hasnt even been elevated since 2032!
BONO: Why, when I was yer age and fighting the plague of Third World Debt like it was a dust bunny on my little cotton socks in the very thickness of the winter nights that always chilled us right to the bone except on alternate Tuesdays--
MONA: Stop staring at that nurse! It?s not polite.
ECHO: *realizes* Bono, that wasn?t even a full sentence.
BONO: I know, I know. I had to take a breather.
MULLENGIRL: *whispers* Poor Bono. Can?t even talk as much as he used to.
BONO: Hey! I can talk the ear off a stalk of corn that?s golden like the hair of a--
PEASANTS: GET ON WITH IT!!!!
BONO: I just remembered I have to go take my Viagra. I?m still ALIVE, you know.
MONA: Score!!
LARRY: Hey, look! I FOUND MY BALL!!! It was here under the couch the whole time. All I have to do is rub it!
MULLENGIRL and GINA: *faint*
LARRY: *magic* I?M YOUNG AGAIN!!!! EVERYONE!!!!!! BEHOLD MY BALL!!!!!!!
ELDERLY WOMEN: FRESH MEAT. *pass out*
LARRY: *strut* I feel pretty...
SCOTTPHISTO: Uh, oh. Where are you goin?, Lawrence?
LARRY: Now that I?m young again, I--
SCOTTPHISTO: I wouldn?t go back out there if I were you.....
LARRY: Why not?
SCOTTPHISTO: Well, Bono and the rest of them don?t...eh....operate as well as they used to, and the girls are gettin a little frustrated....watch yer waffle, is all I?m saying.
LARRY: Recockulous. *steps inside*
SCOTTPHISTO: Exactly.
LARRY: Oh. *is the victim of mass defilement*
BONO: I WANT MORE.
------------------
*Echo the Pimpstress* ... Proud Owner of Animatronic Edge!
"Sting, you know I love you but you got a hell of a lot to learn about Rock n' Roll." -Bono
"We're fighting something we barely understand...Esperanto!"
"Just because he's 40, bald and has five kids doesn't mean he's not adorable!"
- Me, before a LONG silence
Bono-Man! An Epic Superhero Adventure!
The Official PLEBA Glossary: Delicious AND Nutritious!
The year 2041, A.D.: U2 have been relegated to the Shadows and Tall Shady Pines Nursing Home, formerly the PLEBA Mansion.
MULLENGIRL: *sniff* Look what's become of him...
GINA: Now, you knew that Larry couldn't stay a smooth criminal forever.
MULLENGIRL: Yeah, but did the hair have to start growing our of his EARS?
JULIE: I don't get it...we're working so hard for the guys...and we dont even get any elevation in return...Why is Echo always walking around with a big smile on her face?
MONA: *fume* Wish I'd had the foresight to build an animatron that was ageless.
ECHO: *breezes by* Don't forget anatomically correct.
MONA: *fume*
MULLEN GIRL: I don't understand...why did Larry have to start aging?
GINA: No one know...it happened about ten years ago...after he lost that weird crystal ball that he always used to carry around with him...
ECHO: He's got a lot of interesting stories to tell about his youth, though...playing the band...fighting in the civil war....defeating the Saxons...seducing Cleopatra...inventing fire...
CATDUBH: Adam you know I love you but arent you a little old to be wearing a sarong?
ADAM: But it brings out the color in my eyes!
CATDUBH: It brings out the color in your varicose veins is what it does.
*CRASH!*
ANA: WHat was that?
MONA: Bono's still getting the hang of his motorized wheelchair.
BONO: Can someone please come and put the television back upright? The Spice Girls movie is gonna be on soon!
*Mona puts the TV back on the table. Bono backs up his wheelchair and crashes into the couch.*
BONO: Oh, whoops. *rolls forward and runs over Animatronic Edge's kitten.*
KITTEN: ROWR!!
MULLENGIRL: Wait a minute...its 40 years in the future and Animatronic Edge still has a kitten?
ECHO: He's been cloning them for decades.
MONA: What happens to a kitten when it grows up?
ECHO: Well, the cloning has a nasty side effect...
MONA: Wait a minute...does this have anything to do with that room on the third floor that no one's allowed to go into?
ECHO: No, that's just where I keep all my porn.
LARRY: *cries* My ball...my ball....
MULLENGIRL: *trips* What?
LARRY: Ever since I lost my ball, I haven?t been the same.
GINA: Oh....em....
LARRY: What will I do without my crystal ball....
MULLENGIRL: Crystal?
DISCOTEQUE: I'll tell you one thing...I'm just glad they finally ceased publication of TAMALE Magazine.
ECHO: Still, it was long overdue...the last feature was Larry in a tear-away adult diaper.
MEANWHILE
BONO: Feck! I hate TV....Let?s watch some more. Gimmee more!
HIPPYACTRESS: *wanders in* What?
BONO: I WANT MORE.
HIPPYACTRESS: O...well...I?ve never really been a BonoFan, but, em....It--it?s great to hear you?re doing well with your Viagra and...um....
BONO: Turn it on, young lady!
HIPPYACTRESS: *stares* Um...
BONO: Come on, please? I don?t know how.
HIPPYACTRESS:.....are you sure?
BONO: Yes. The nurse once taught me how.
HIPPYACTRESS:....really? They do that kind of thing here? O man. That?s like what I saw on 60 Minutes that one time, and--
BONO: I think you pull it.
HIPPYACTRESS: !!
BONO: Or push it.
HIPPYACTRESS: ...do you want me to get Mona or something? Because, um....
BONO: Just....feckin? twist it, I guess. I don't know. I WANT MORE!!
HIPPYACTRESS: *passes out*
BONO: NURSE!!! *rings bell* I did it again!
MONA: *appears* What, without me?
BONO: I just wanna... *drives wheelchair towards television...crashes into coffe table.* OOF! *Falls out of wheelchair* Oh, I landed on my--
MEANWHILE
ELDERLY WOMEN: *Herd*
SCOTTPHISTO: ...do you feel the ground moving?
ELDERLY WOMEN: *stampede*
SCOTTPHISTO: Holy goya beans!!! They?re after me!...well....they?re...gradually....pursuing me....
ELDERLY WOMEN: *tossing pudding cups at ScottPhisto* Get back here, you young whippersnapper! We wanna gum ya!! YUMMY!!! *in hot pursuit in walkers and wheelchairs and on canes*
*DING A LING A LING*
GINA: WTF?
ECHO: The bell means it?s time to let the free range elderly get their exercise. They just release Larry--
MULLENGIRL: *giggles*
ECHO: -- and they follow him around. It?s GREAT. Now they want ScottPhisto to help Larry.
GINA:....to help release Larry? Geez, you?d think that--
BONO: I WANT MORE!!!!! GIMMEE!!!!!!
MONA: *runs* But didn?t you just fall on your--
DING A LING A LING A LING!!!!!
ECHO: Better get out there, ScottPhisto.
SCOTTPHISTO: *sigh* It?s hard being a man slut. Heheh I said hard and--
BONO: GIMMEE MORE!!!!
LATER
ECHO: Alright girls, it's sponge bath time. Grab a sponge and line up behind your man.
*Mona is chained to a wall so she will not do anything inappropriate to Bono.*
BLUEY: *grabbing sponge* This gets less and less fun every time. Bono hasnt even been elevated since 2032!
BONO: Why, when I was yer age and fighting the plague of Third World Debt like it was a dust bunny on my little cotton socks in the very thickness of the winter nights that always chilled us right to the bone except on alternate Tuesdays--
MONA: Stop staring at that nurse! It?s not polite.
ECHO: *realizes* Bono, that wasn?t even a full sentence.
BONO: I know, I know. I had to take a breather.
MULLENGIRL: *whispers* Poor Bono. Can?t even talk as much as he used to.
BONO: Hey! I can talk the ear off a stalk of corn that?s golden like the hair of a--
PEASANTS: GET ON WITH IT!!!!
BONO: I just remembered I have to go take my Viagra. I?m still ALIVE, you know.
MONA: Score!!
LARRY: Hey, look! I FOUND MY BALL!!! It was here under the couch the whole time. All I have to do is rub it!
MULLENGIRL and GINA: *faint*
LARRY: *magic* I?M YOUNG AGAIN!!!! EVERYONE!!!!!! BEHOLD MY BALL!!!!!!!
ELDERLY WOMEN: FRESH MEAT. *pass out*
LARRY: *strut* I feel pretty...
SCOTTPHISTO: Uh, oh. Where are you goin?, Lawrence?
LARRY: Now that I?m young again, I--
SCOTTPHISTO: I wouldn?t go back out there if I were you.....
LARRY: Why not?
SCOTTPHISTO: Well, Bono and the rest of them don?t...eh....operate as well as they used to, and the girls are gettin a little frustrated....watch yer waffle, is all I?m saying.
LARRY: Recockulous. *steps inside*
SCOTTPHISTO: Exactly.
LARRY: Oh. *is the victim of mass defilement*
BONO: I WANT MORE.
------------------
*Echo the Pimpstress* ... Proud Owner of Animatronic Edge!
"Sting, you know I love you but you got a hell of a lot to learn about Rock n' Roll." -Bono
"We're fighting something we barely understand...Esperanto!"
"Just because he's 40, bald and has five kids doesn't mean he's not adorable!"
- Me, before a LONG silence
Bono-Man! An Epic Superhero Adventure!
The Official PLEBA Glossary: Delicious AND Nutritious!
