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Old 08-10-2001, 04:53 AM   #1
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The ultimate PLEBA collection

Ok, I decided to collect all of Mrs. Edge´s stories in one thread. I think I´m not the only one who enjoys them. Here you go:

Mrs. Edge´s stories for PLEBA girls

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Old 08-10-2001, 04:54 AM   #2
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Part I: U2Tejas

“Oh, my God, I don’t believe this is happening!” Thought Kelli as she stood in the lobby of the Hyatt with her new U2 friend Jessica, who had traveled to Dallas to witness the emotional upheaval of Kelli’s first U2 show in 15 years on the third leg of the ATYCLB tour. They had been waiting a few more minutes to see if they could catch a glimpse of U2 before they left, as it was the band’s day off. There before her very eyes was Larry Mullen. He was talking to Dennis Sheehan in front of the main desk. They had materialized out of nowhere and Kelli couldn’t understand how she had missed seeing them. It didn’t matter, there they were. Kelli poked Jessica in the ribs abruptly.
“OUCH! Whaaaat!” Jessica muttered. Then she looked in the direction that Kelli was looking. Jessica sucked in air dramatically but did her best not to look at Larry for more than 2 seconds at a time. She remembered what had happened the LAST time she stared at a member of U2 with Mr. Sheehan around!
“Oh, my God there he is!” Jessica whispered, staring at the floor. Kelli was feeling very sick and began to shake.
“EEEEEEKKKKKK!” screamed another fan who was standing near by, sounding very much like a stuck pig. Larry and Dennis looked over uneasily at them for a minute. Kelli and Jessica decided to make a quick getaway and sidled over to the elevator. They pushed the button just as security proceeded to accost the girl. Larry’s bodyguard and one of the hotel managers strode over to them just as the elevator door was opening.
“Excuse me, but where do you girls think you’re going?”
“We are going to our hotel room.” Kelli answered in a businesslike and stately manner, in her Wisconsin/Texanese.
“Are you a guest here?”
“Yes, we all are.” Kelli answered glaring at the girl across the room. Even though she was getting summarily kicked out of the hotel, she had ruined any chance of their talking to Larry before he left. It was so rare for Larry to be there without a mob and now he’d probably be scared away from the fans for life!
“Prove it!” The guard snapped. After showing the guard the key, he reluctantly let them go into the elevator.
“Kelli, we should really get the hell back down there just in case there’s more where that came from!” Jessica whispered once the door had closed.
“Yeah but what about Dennis?” Kelli asked worriedly.
“Well....but I have to see DAVE!” Jessica yelled.
“AAAHHH! DAVE” Screeched Kelli. They loved to call Edge by his real name. “OOOHHH if I could get my hands down those sequined pants!” Then her eyes squinted in anger. “That stupid cow. She’s just the type that gives U2 fans a bad name!”
They got off on their floor and waited for another elevator to take them back down. They fumed silently. Once on the elevator, they noticed a very tall man with a leonine mane of sandy hair. He looked very familiar, but they couldn’t put their finger on it.
“Let me guess. Are you waiting to see U2?” He asked. The girls jumped. If this was a member of the entourage they had to watch what they said. They didn’t want to blow their chances.
“Um, well that would be nice!” Jessica stated diplomatically.
“Nice ta meet’ya. I’m the Edge’s guitar tech, Dallas Schoo.” He offered his hand to shake.
“Nice to meet you.” Jessica said shaking his hand as she thought about the fact that she was shaking the hand of someone who had shaken the Edge’s hand on many occasions. Soon the elevator got to the 1st floor. As he waved good-bye, he said “I’d hang around for awhile! You might be surprised!” And off he went chuckling. The girls stared at each other in total disbelief. Jessica was about to squeal with delight, when she spotted Dennis heading in their direction.
“Oh, NO!” Jessica whispered.
“Maybe we should run!” said Kelli who noticed him getting closer. Before they could do anything, he arrived. He looked at them for a minute and then said “Do I know you from somewhere?”
“Um, ah,....” Jessica spluttered. Kelli was silent.
“I know, you’re that girl I had to yell at that time who wouldn’t stop staring at Bono!”
“GASP! But that was 9 years ago!!! How did you know it’s me?”
“I never forget a face. And I’ve never seen anyone stare like that or turn so red before since-well, for a long time!” Jessica couldn’t believe that he still remembered her. This was terrible. She felt like crying. Dennis could see this and felt badly.
“Well, just don’t do that this time. OK?”
“I see you were having a chat with Dallas.”
“Yes, that’s right.”
“He’s a nice guy. I think he went meet the guys at this new music store. They should be arriving in about an hour if you’re planning on hanging around.”
“Really? Thanks for letting us know!” Dennis smiled and went off to arrange more toury things. Larry was no where in sight. Jessica turned to Kelli. “Why didn’t you SAY something! You just left me to fend for myself!”
“Well what could I say?? Looks like you made quite an impression!” Said Kelli with an amused grin on her face. They ordered drinks and sat staring at the walls absent mindedly. They were starting to get very nervous.
“Kelli, I’m getting very nervous!”
“Me too.”
“Tell me a story, that’ll make us feel lots better.”
“Oh, OK. Here’s a story about high school. Once upon a time, Kelli was sitting sulking in the music room of Mount Temple Comprehensive school....” About an hour and a half and many alcoholic beverages later, Jessica was finishing up the story. It was an excellent story and the girls were very involved in it, paying no attention to their surroundings let alone the volume of their voices.
“And then....” Thundered Jessica, “Paul said ‘Dayve you’ve got no chance with any gerlfriend of mine!’” At this point, the girls declined to notice that three pairs of eyes were watching and listening intently from a short distance away. Jessica continued, changing her voice. “’THAT’S AS MUCH AS YOU KNOW PAUL HEEEEWSON! You’ve never understood her or loved her the way I do! So you can keep your filthy hands off her! Kelli’s not your girlfriend, she’s MINE!’” Two pairs of eyes became extremely amused while the other pair stared in confusion. Jessica continued, “Dave’s leonine eyes shone with passion as he gave the burly Taurus a dig in the mouth.”
“A dig in the mouth!” Kelli echoed laughing. She remembered reading about how Edge had lost his temper in the early days at one of Bono’s antics and given him “a dig in the mouth”. One of the people watching them began to snicker but they didn’t notice. Jessica continued, mimicking Kelli. “Oh, Paul you poor thing! Kelli cried. Paul decided to play it up for all it was worth.” The pairs of eyes became very interested.
“Paul’s jowls fell and he looked up at Kelli from the ground where he had fallen, and with tear rimmed ocean blue eyes....”
“Oh, CHEEZY! She has your number down, Bono!” A sarcastic voice interrupted. Jessica and Kelli jumped out of their reverie and there in front of them stood Bono, Adam and Edge. Dennis was watching in bemusement behind them. Kelli and Jessica’s mouths fell open and the two began to shake and sweat in embarrassment. Had they heard that whole thing?! Bono removed his light blue sunglasses off so he cold get a better look at the girls. Edge looked at Bono in some annoyance. This tale the girl was telling sounded like an episode from their high school life! What a clown that Bono was! What a drama queen! He was so obvious even these girls knew what he was like! Actually, they weren’t girls, but very attractive women, he noticed much to his delight. Cradle robbery was not an issue here.
“Eh, that’s an interesting yarn yer telling thayre. The ooyrish love a good tale. Whhat is it all abaout??” Bono queried in his thickly accented and hoarse voice.
“Ummmm...Ummm...” This time it was Kelli’s turn to splutter and Jessica was giving her no help on this one. Jessica used the time to stare subtly at Edge. Bono was not helping Kelli either so she had to speak.
“Well, you friend Jessica and I....ah.....she was telling me a story about ah, a high school adventure about some people we know...”
“But if she put your name in there, surely you know the story already!” Bono wasn’t going to make it easy for them. He had enjoyed a wonderful day at the music store, the sun was out, and was in a very good humour.
“Um, you know about this forum called Interference, and the stories on Pleba? Oh, of course not. Never mind. It’s just something we make up to pass the time...”
“Yes, I do check out Interference every now and then. Some of those people are really a piece of work, but we love ‘em. Now back to this story, who are these people you know...this Paul and Dave?” Bono was having lots of fun making this girl suffer.
“Gulp. Oh, they’re just accoupleofpeopleweknowinanband” Kelli muttered in a small voice.
“A couple of who? A couple of cheesy people I’d say!” Adam interjected. Dennis Sheehan spoke from the background.
“Hey lads, we should get upstairs with your stuff and get on with it!”
“Yeah, Dennis, OK....” Bono paused for a moment and continued. “So do you gerls with your very intact fantasies want to come upstairs with us and hang out for a bit?” Edge, Kelli, Jessica, Adam and Dennis all stared at him. This was very unusual for Bono but he wanted to find out more about these girls who seemed to know all about him.
“That would be great!” chimed Jessica and she and Kelli stood up. Edge’s eyes darted form one girl to the other nervously. The whole group walked to the private elevator.
“Top floor please, elevator operator!” pronounced Bono, looking at Edge. This was too much for the nervous and high strung girls to take. They exploded with gales of laughter. Bono was very confused. Was he losing his appeal with girls so that they were laughing at him now? Had he been with Alison, his wife in name only too long? This was interesting. The glasses came off again and Bono put them in his jacket pocket. His blue eyes, his strongest asset with ladies, blazed out sexily at them. Once again Adam, Edge and Dennis, the only other people in this elevator stared in disbelief. This was highly unusual.
“Ehm, can I ask ye...whhat’s so funny abaout ellevatorr opperatorr?” Asked Bono in his strongest and sexiest accent, wafts of musky scent washing over the girls. “Nothing really, we’re just nervous I guess.”
“Don’t be nerrvous. It’s only us!” That was a big help! They soon got to their floor.
“Last person to Bono’s room is a rotten egg!” Laughed Adam, enjoying this trip down high school memory lane. They all rushed to the end of the hall to Bono’s suite. Kelli and Jessica looked at each other. This was just like a Beatles movie! Bono opened the door to reveal an extremely luxurious suite. No one turned out to be a rotten egg, although it was a tie between Bono, Kelli and Jessica as the girls had no idea where his suite was and Bono, well he was a lumbering Taurus.
Once inside the room the boys really came out of their shells and into their own. They seemed to forget the girls were strangers and that was fine with them. Jessica and Kelli sat together on a small sofa watching Adam break out the mini bar, Larry, who had returned from his shopping trip, kicking off his shoes and Bono and Edge talking about the new stuff they had bought, and the latest rumours of their “romance”. Kelli and Jessica decided to be really quiet and blend in. (Hah!)
Soon Bono and Edge came back in the room and broke out the Guinness. Jessica and Kelli looked at Edge. How was it possible for someone to have such a sweet, sad face? Adam broke the ice.
“So girls, many U2ers does it take to change a lightbulb?” Adam snickered. Everyone laughed. Bono looked at the girls with those intense eyes, quietly taking everything in, brushing his hair back absent-mindedly with his fingers. Edge peered out of wide open, innocent green eyes. Eyes that had been filled with such pain from past betrayals, but were still so trusting. Larry tilted back in his chair, sipping on his drink and saying absolutely nothing. All of them were staring expectantly. The girls were starting to feel distinctly uncomfortable. Adam could see this so he decided to initiate conversation.
“Geez, you guys! Say something! What do you expect these girls to say? Honestly. So girls, any requests for the concert?”
“OH YES!” Piped up Jessica. Kelli nodded quickly. She noticed the green pool of Edge’s eyes had rested on her and it made her feel wonderful in a way she had never experienced before.
“Whhat would you like to hear?” Bono asked staring at Jessica and sitting up in his chair.
“Oh, the list is endless but I’d love to hear 11 O’clock tick tock or Twilight....something filled with anguish.” Jessica couldn’t believe she had said that.
"Something filled with anguish? Anguish, eh....hey Edge....anguish is yer specialty!” Edge rolled his eyes sarcastically at Bono and turned to the girls.
“Um...” He said in a whisper, “That’s fine with me but Twilight may not be up to par because I haven’t played that in awhile. I’ve forgotten all the chords.”
“Oh, Edge’ll figure it all out.” Bono interrupted dismissively. “That’s fine with me anyway. By the way, you girls...I didn’t catch your names. Which one is Kelli, the one I was looking at with the fallen jowls as you put it?”
“Oh, that’s Kelli. I’m Jessica!” Jessica said quickly.
“I see....I’m awfully curious, can ye please explain what’s the deal with these stories?” Bono asked, a sexy grin on his face.
“Oh, ah well you the risk of sounding like total idiots....” Kelli and Jessica proceeded to explain about how they had met in Interference, and how Jessica entertained the Pleba girls with ridiculously over the top short stories about their fantasy objects. Adam and Bono could hardly contain their laughter but Larry and Edge looked sympathetic.
“Say gerls, if ye’ve got nuthin better to do, why don’t ye come to the party tonight? Problem is, one of you will have to be Edge’s date and one of you will have to be mine! Larry and Adam are already spoken for.”
“I don’t think that would be a problem!” Chimed Kelli.
“OK-“ Whispered Jessica in a dry squawk. If Bono needed a date perhaps he really was having marital troubles!
“Grand! How abaout meetin’ us at the club and-hey Edge what did we do with those extra passes?”
“They’re over on the table. Dennis put them there awhile ago.”
“Here ye go gerls. So who’s going with who?” Jessica had a harder time with this than Kelli.
“I’ll be EDGE’S date!” Shrieked Kelli, the burden of Edge’s stare proving too much. Edge jumped ten feet as Kelli had expected. Jessica was naturally pissed off but who could complain about being Bono’s date? Besides, those blue eyes......
“Sigh.....I guess you’re stuck with me....” Murmured Jessica.
“That’s OK with me darlin’....” Drawled Bono. “Now, much as it pains me to say this gerls, there are some people we have to see now but we do look forward to seeing you tonight!” Jessica and Kelli got up to go, clutching the passes closely.
“We’ll see you tonight! Thank you!”
“Wear party clothes, party gerls!” And the girls got on the elevator in total shock. Jessica suddenly broke the silence.
“Kelli! I can’t believe you! How dare you hog Edge like that without even giving me the chance to say anything!”
“Well.....I love him just as much as you do, and besides you got Bono! What more could you ever ask for? Besides Edge that is?”
“Well that’s true. But what the hell are we going to wear?!!”
“Why paaayrty clothes of course!” Both girls broke out laughing as they went back to their room.
Jessica decided to wear her little grey dress with a light black silk-fringed shawl. Kelli wore a smashing red number that she designed herself, covered in disco sequins! Bright red lipstick accentuated her full lips, and her hair was brushed luxuriantly at her shoulders, giving her a 40s movie star glamour. Jessica and Kelli had a very difficult time trying to kill time while checking for the 8 millionth time if they still had their passes.
Finally, it was the big moment. As they arrived, who should be waiting there outside the club but Dallas and Dennis Sheehan.
“I told you something would happen if you stuck around!” Dallas laughed, waving them in. The girls made their way to the VIP area, hoping there wouldn’t be any supermodels around to ruin their fun.
The first person they ran into was Bono, smelling absolutely out of this world, and wearing a bedimpled grin.
“Ah! Gerls, ye look gorgeous!”
“Oh, yee he hehe he hehehehe!” The girls giggled. Bono grinned. He loved it when women reacted that way. He hadn’t lost his touch after all. Off they went to the party. Bono whisked Jessica onto the dance floor where they remained for most of the evening if you get the hint. Kelli wanted to dance too, especially with Edge the “adorable disco dancing hipster doofus”, but Edge (resplendent in Popmart era black sequined shirt and THE SEQUINED PANTS!) looked sad and said that he didn’t really feel up to dancing and would she like to go somewhere quiet and have a drink?
“But Edge, I thought you were Sly of the Family Stone!”
“Oh! Well I am! But today I’d really rather go off and talk to you. If you don’t mind that is.”
“Of course not!” Kelli and Edge made their way up to some quieter rooms upstairs. They began talking in the semi darkness mostly about Kelli and her plans and dreams. Edge was staring out of increasingly moist eyes.
“Edge, you look upset. Was it something I said?”
“Oh, NO! Not’s just that you are so filled with vitality and yet so afraid...and so moves me to tears!” He had steadily fallen in love with Kelli over the evening. Kelli fought to hold back her own tears. She had a burning lump in her throat and she marveled that he actually let her remove his hat so she could stroke his glossy hair with her shaking hands. She could hear the faint sound of music from the dance floor. The DJ had discovered that U2 were present so to honour them had played Beautiful Day. This song seemed extremely appropriate at this time.
“Toooouch me...take me to that other place...” Kelli found herself singing softly to him. Edge lifted up his head and the moonlight pouring in through the window glistened through his wet eyes. “What a beautiful voice you have!” “ Nonsense” Kelli blushed the crimson of her dress. She loved to sing, but hated an audience. “I’m serious! I want you to sing again!” Kelli frowned incredulously at him. “C’mon. Let’s go downstairs, they have private Karaoke rooms! It’ll be fun.” For the first time, Edge beamed and his gentle eyes crinkled with delight. He grabbed her hand with his, and pulled her down the stairs, and into the nearest private room. Kelli noticed that not only did he not invited the others to join him, but he brought drinks in with him, and locked the door.
“It’s a private one’s gonna know...” He grinned uncontrollably as he sang the teasing words. Then he flipped through the list of available tunes. “Hmmmm. What would you like? Motown? Girl Groups?” “Well actually, the only thing I’d feel I knew well enough to sing would be U2, but I’m not...”
“U2 it is. Hmmm. I’ve heard of those guys, but I’ve never been to one of their shows.” Kelli felt like throwing up. “OK. With or Without You...One...Stuck in a Moment - Hey! They have that on Karaoke already?? Well that’s got soul. And I bet you could sing that!” “Um...” Kelli uttered weakly. Edge paid no attention, handed her a microphone and punched in the numbers. He then sat back in the couch (a big couch, with lots of room for more than 2 people!) and looked at her expectantly. Suddenly Kelli felt a strange calm. She had been afraid all her life. If she blew this one, she’d never forgive herself. She was going to fly. The words scrolled along the screen, with a pair of lovers strolling along a beach in the background. Where did these Karaoke people come up with this stuff??
“I am not afraid...of anything in this world...” Kelli sang, and the more she sang, the more she believed it was true. Soon she really got into the spirit of the song, swaying her hips, the dim light catching in her sequins. All she needed was a feather boa! Suddenly Edge was on his feet and strolling towards her. Then his forehead was against hers, his eyes a mere inch from hers, half closed as he sang with her, in his mightiest falsetto “And if the night runs over...and if the day won’t last...and if our way should falter...along the stony pass...” Then she noticed that his arms were wrapped around her, and then his soft, warm lips were upon hers, gentle and soft at first, then more forceful, devouring. He pulled her against him as tightly as he could, so she could feel his heart beating quickly through his chest. She could barely contain her excitement as he led her over to the couch. As they sank into the soft pillows he managed to spill out in a weak voice, “I think I’m falling in love with you, Kelli. I AM falling in love with you. I can’t help falling in love with you.” Kelli’s mouth gaped open. Silence ensued. For the first time neither were scared. A radiance shone from his face as he gazed upon her. “For the first time....I feel loved. “ He sang softly. Kelli’s heart melted savouring every moment of his caresses, kisses and lovemaking.
On week later, Kelli had quit her dreary, awful corporate job, and had become the band’s new stylist/dresser. The Edge was her soulmate as she had always known. She was stuck in a moment she never wanted to get out of, and it was a Beautiful Daaaaaaayyyyyvvvveee!
The End

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Old 08-10-2001, 04:56 AM   #3
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Part II: SweetOnU2

Spanish Eyes
It was the highly and hotly anticipated 3rd leg of the ATYCLB tour, and Monica was sitting on a small folding chair, in the GA line, eating a takeaway burrito. It was a beautiful day (no pun intended) and everything felt unusually right with the world as she chatted away with her best friend Chris, who was accompanying her in the line. The idea was that Chris, who was very tall, was going to put Monica on his shoulders, so she could touch Bono. This was his one and only mission on this trip, and it was well worth having to pay for his ticket. Oh, there was also his good company, but that was just gravy. Chris didn’t mind, this was a highly entertaining experience for him, and he was especially delighted with the enormous number of girls for him to flirt with!
Now of course Chris wasn’t nearly the U2 fan that Monica was, but he put up with her chatter good naturedly. He didn’t even bother trying to change the subject, it was pretty pointless. Monica was always interrupting, her one track mind set in its...track.
"Oh, Chris, Bono will actually be there!!!"
"I'm so in love with Bono,"
"Yep...we are going to be sure to stand right at the B-Man’s feet."
"We are gonna get in the front, row, I don’t care if I have to lie, cheat, steal or kill to get there!”
"Hey, there’s a cute chick over there....!"
"Oh, Bono...." Chris rolled his eyes and raised his eyebrows at a nearby female. Monica stood up to stretch her legs and examine the line. She was #15. Not bad! Suddenly, she squinted her eyes. There was someone walking up to the front of the line. She watched as this person proceeded to pay another guy a large sum of money, and then take his place in the absolute front. No. It couldn’t be. It was. She could feel the rage creeping up through her throat, and her face began to turn red. She marched up to the front of the line to confront....Evil Cousin Alicia. Alicia grinned smugly at Monica.
“Hi, Mon!”
“What are YOU doing here???? You don’t even like U2?”
“Oh, I wouldn’t say that...I like a few of their songs, like that one they wrote for Tomb Raider, my favourite movie...and I’m sure I’ll like them a whole lot better when I see them from the front row! I’m going to give that Bongo a big kiss!!”
“BONO!! It’s Bono,’re just doing this to bug me! I can’t believe you paid someone to hold your place in line, you lazy COW!”
“Hey, didn’t you see? He was a homeless guy! It was my good deed for the day! I thought U2 fans were into doing good deeds....” Alicia couldn’t contain her laughter, but was nonetheless able to apply another coat of red lipstick as she admired herself in the compact mirror. Monica turned around and went back to stand with Chris. It was all over. That horrible Alicia had done this just to hurt her again. Alicia would either be in the front row, or at the tip of the heart, Bono would pull her up, and Monica would have to stand there and watch the OTHER love of her life with Alicia....It wasn’t fair. Tears began to pour softly down Monica’s cheeks.
It was 3:55. It seemed like MONTHS that they had been waiting, and the wait wouldn’t be over for many more hours. Suddenly, they noticed a dark blue town car roll past the line. Suddenly it stopped. The windows were tinted so they couldn’t see in, but the crowd wasn’t fooled. One of the band members was checking them out! Everyone began to scream.
“Ehm...look the Edge...look at the poor punters standing there in the queue....OOH! Look at THAT one!”
“Which one?”
“The one beside the blond guy...she has....well there’s no other way of puttin’ it...she has Spanish Eyes....wayy hay HAY! Mmmmm here she comes!” Bono removed his shades to get a better look at Monica. Edge rolled his eyes and looked at his watch. “Bono... we have the sound check. You are making the fans crazy. Are we going in, or going to sign something, or what?”
“No, I don’t think so, but let’s get security to let that girl in first.”
“Bono, you KNOW how that upsets the fans.”
“It’s not like it’s a whole bunch of people, just that girl. I need inspiration tonight, I have a sore throat.” Bono put on a pitiful expression and Edge caved.
“OK...but just her, and whoever she’s with and that’s IT!” The car rolled on, and all that could be heard was the soft moaning of very disappointed fans. Monica had barely bothered to look at the car. She was completely deflated.
It was 6:00. The fans had been asked to stand up, and they were all squishing as far as they possibly could up the line. Suddenly, Monica felt a tap on her shoulder. She looked beside her at an enormous security guard.
“Scuse me miss, but are you waiting in line with anyone else?” Oh, great. That bitch had somehow organized a way of getting her kicked out of the line altogether. Well, she wasn’t going without a fight!
“I’m just here with my friend Chris.”
“Oh, OK. Could you both come with me please?”
“Why??? I didn’t do anything! I’ve been here since 7 this morning, and I’m tired and I only moved from this spot once to go to the bathroom and...” she was just about to burst into tears, when the guard whispered “one of my bosses has a spot reserved for you.” Monica stood stock still and said nothing.
“You mean...this has nothing to do with Alicia?”
“Who?” Monica could barely contain her glee as she marched right past the furious Alicia, into the building and into the very front row centre.

"OH MY GOD!!!! They're coming! They're COMING!!!!" Chris and Monica screamed together as the Elevation remix music began its exotic descent from the heavens. Suddenly, the band were on stage, everyone was screaming, and the jumping began. “WOOOOOO HOOO! WHOOOOHOOOOO!” Monica thought she was going to hyperventilate. It didn’t matter how often she saw U2, it was always even more exciting each time. Chris (who was now just as excited as Monica) and Monica screamed so loudly that Bono could instantly hear them over the din:
"Oh, my GOD!!! IT’S BONO!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!” Bono’s cobalt blue eyes were instantly on Monica’s. There was no question about it, he was looking directly at her. Her knees began to buckle.
“The corner of your lips the orbit of your hips - Eclipse - You elevate my SOOOOUUULLL! I’ve got no self CONTROOOOOLLL!” Bono was prancing around the stage like a tiger, swaying back and forth, sexual energy bursting out of every pore of his body, and most importantly, not venturing too far from Monica, who stood mesmerised, with a sea of jumping fans around her, leaping, thrashing, and looking like they would crush her to bits. She barely noticed them. She was looking right into his eyes and singing back at him. She hoped she was getting the lyrics right.
"YEAH!!!" Shouted Bono after he was finished. "It’s good to be in West Sacramento CA LI FOR NI AAAAA! “ “AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!” Echoed the audience. “But let me tell ya...where ever you go.....I WILL FOLLOW!!!!" And the guitar exploded into action. Monica found it very difficult to concentrate on all the songs. She was too busy staring at Bono and mouthing every single lyric. Bono was very impressed. He knew he had picked the right muse for the evening. The songs drifted in and out of each other. Each song was a gem. Sometimes they were played so beautifully Monica had to close her eyes and sigh....but not for too long! She didn't want to miss one second of this!
Things were purring along so far without incident.
"And now who can tell me something!" Bono roared.
"AAAAHHHHH!" Answered the audience.
"Who here likes to dance?"
"AAAAAAHHHHHH!" Answered the audience.
"Meeeeeeee!" Shrieked Monica.
"Who here moves in mysterious ways?"
"AAAAAAAHHHHH!" Answered the audience.
"Meeeeeeee!" Screamed Monica.
"Oh, yes!!!! YES YES YES!!!! Meeeeeeeeeeeeee! I will!!!! I'll dance with your Bono!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Shrieked Monica.
Bono cast his eyes over the first few rows. He saw the ecstatic faces, but couldn’t keep his eyes off Monica. She was so beautiful and it was so obvious how much she loved the music. The opening chords of 'Mysterious Ways' were howling out of Edge’s guitar.. Edge was getting a big kick out of the aggressive sound his guitar was making and out of the audience reaction. Bono leapt into the gap between the stage and the front row, but at the opposite end from where Monica and Chris were sitting.
"Oh, NO!!!" Monica yelped. "He's not going to pick me!"
"I guess it's to be expected." she sighed, "after all it's good enough just to have him look at us and to be in the front row. I’d still like to know who it was that got us into the front row in the first place.....I just hope he doesn’t pick Alicia!"
Bono had a crafty idea in his head. He was going to pick that gorgeous girl in the front....he just wanted her to suffer a bit in suspense. Besides, he had all these other hysterical girls to look at and tease! Bono gradually made his way closer to Monica and Chris. The security guards began to hold back the screaming and adoring fans. Bono wore many dimples as he ran in the direction of Monica and Chris with a devilish expression on his face.
"Uh, oh! Here he comes! Oh, my God!! What if he picks me! I'm terrified!! AAAAHHHH!" Monica was so scared that she was rooted to the spot. She didn’t even try to reach for him.
Edge kept playing the same opening chords trying to find out when Bono would get his act together and sing! It bothered him that he always had to be the centre of attention. Edge knew exactly who Bono was going to pick, he just wished he’d hurry up so they could get on with it. Soon Bono was but a few feet away from them. He smiled with his dimples deepening and held out his hand. Chris and Monica just stared at him. Bono found this rather amusing but the security guard did not. The fans were starting to rush the stage and the guards had to hold them back so Bono could collect the girl. The security guards wondered why Bono always had to go through with these crazy plans.
"He wants you!!! Grab his hand!" Shouted the guard.
"Is he talking to me?" Monica asked Chris in a daze, staring into Bono's electric blue eyes....utterly mesmerised.
"I think so...." Bono moved a little closer. Their fingers were only inches apart. Chris grabbed Monica by the waist and pushed her forward. She could feel the guards holding her legs, and then her hand was in Bono’s. She could feel herself being pushed and pulled, and then she was standing on stage with shaky legs.
Monica was standing with Bono right on the stage in front of 20 000 people! Bono thundered into his microphone, "Yeah.....MYSTERIOUS WAYS!!!!" Larry crashed onto the drums and the song began. Poor Edge had to play those opening guitar riffs about 30 times before the song began. Bono crooned into the audience.
"Johnny take a walk with your sister the moon...let her pale light in to fill up the room, you've been living under ground eating from a can you've been runnin' away from what you don't understand...LOVE!" Bono was swaying his hips sensually to the music, trying to make Monica dance for him. Monica was so stunned at first that she alternately gazed into the vast ocean of the audience or turned around to stare at Larry or Adam or Edge. Bono decided it was time to make Edge work a little for his money.
"Go, Edge! SOLO!" Edge looked very confused. It was too early in the song! What solo?” Bono whispered in Monica’s ear. "Hey! Don't you want to dance with me?" Bono looked at her with a mock hurt look.
"Sure Bono! Of course I do...but I....I" Bono grinned from ear to ear. Out came the dimples.
"What’s your name?"
"I'm Monica...." she murmured staring into Bono's luminescent eyes. Bono got an impish expression on his face.
"I got a confession to make Monica.....I’m sweet on you!”
“You ARE?? Well, I’m sweet on you too!” Bono pulled her against him, so there wasn’t a square inch of space between them, and began to lead with his hips, his thighs....she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and inhaled his stupendous fragrance.
Meanwhile Edge made up another blistering and funky solo. He stuck close to Larry and Adam so they could monitor Bono's activities and keep track of what each other was doing. Soon he strutted over to Bono.
"Ah, Bono shouldn't you finish the song?"
"But moy dear Edge! You're doin’ such an excellent job!"
"Bono! There is an audience to consider!"
"That's true." Bono considered. “Hey, Monica, how would you like to watch the rest of the show from the wings and then we can get better acquainted after the show!"
"THE WINGS!!! REALLY? Oh, Bono, you're so wonderful!!!!" Monica screamed, losing her shyness and throwing herself against him, practically knocking him over, much to the annoyance of the other female fans, especially Alicia.
Monica sat transfixed throughout the show, and soon (too soon unfortunately), she recognized the deep thunder of Adam’s With or Without You baseline. The concert was nearly over. Would she have to climb into the pumpkin soon to go home? Bono sang with more pain and sweetness than ever before, his thick black locks were sweaty and stuck on his face. He looked absolutely perfect. Suddenly, he motioned for Monica to come out and join him!! She stood up and strode into the light like a moth to a candle. She felt she absolutely must go to him. Edge did his long guitar solo filled with angst. Bono wanted to dance with her again, and have her sing the high parts for him. He wrapped his arms protectively around her small frame and rested his chin on her head. He was humming and slow dancing with her. Monica thought she felt a kiss brush over her head but she didn't dare guess that it really happened even though it did!
"Boy, he really likes her!" Thought Chris. He was very happy for her. He was even happier for himself, as girls of all shapes and sizes were pressing themselves against him! And then, Bono and Monica were lying on the floor, rolling and writhing....and finally, wrapped in each others’ arms they sang “ooooooohoooooooooohhhhh” into the darkness. After With or Without You, the entire band and Monica proceeded backstage. It was time for the encore. It was pitch black and no one could really see anyone. Monica moved to a corner so she could observe silently. In fact, U2 had temporarily forgotten she was there. On this leg, nothing in the encore was ever planned. They wanted it to be a grab bag of whatever they felt like singing that night. The ultimate in U2 spontaneity.
"Erm, Bono let's do Pride, Walk On, Gloria and 40. That's a real good mixture for an encore." Larry began.
"Ah, well ah I think we should skip 40 and do All I want is You and Love is Blindness" Added Edge.
"No, that's too many slow songs. We'll do a compromise. The order will be...Pride, One, Walk On, Gloria and then 40." Bono stated with conviction.
"Yes sir Mr. Leader of the Bono Hewson Band!!!!" Edge muttered.
"Oy beg yer pardon Mr. Sarcastic Dayve but it wus a fair compromise!" Bono stated somewhat annoyed and somewhat amused at Edge's sarcasm.
"I have every right to be sarcastic Bono after the way you acted! You don't see me living out my sex life in public at the expense of our concerts!" Edge snarled.
"Dayve, ya gotta lighten up! Besides I don't really think the audience noticed a thing. Yer solo was great! And besides, if I happen to like the girl then I'll do what I want!" Bono retorted groping for a good excuse.
"Well that's fine Bono if you like her but keep your sexual activity to the bedroom, not the stage!!!!" Edge was shouting now. Monica were growing very excited.
"It never used to bother you Edge when I danced with a girl on stage!" Bono retorted.
"Well......this time it was too much Bono and it wouldn't even bother me so much if it weren't that you are always trying to be the centre of attention!!"
“Oym the singer! What do you expect!!!”
"Erm...excuse me Bono...but before you and Edge come to blows over this stupid and immature argument we have a concert to finish!!" Larry interjected.
"Yeah!" Said Adam.
"Right!" Said Bono.
"Hmph." Said Edge. And like the Commitments who were always fighting backstage and then coming on stage as if nothing had happened, the boys strode onto the stage grinning from ear to ear. After an impassioned Pride, they played a haunting One and the tears poured down her cheeks as he achingly begged...”Do you hear me knocking love, knocking at your dooooor?” He seemed to not realize that that whole argument took place right in front of her!
Soon the concert was absolutely finished and U2 sent the audience out singing 'How sing this song....' And they strode back stage tired looking and sweaty.
"Erm, got the timing wrong on the BB King song again earlier!"
"Thanks, Lawrence...I needed that!"
Bono strode around looking weary and not to mention extremely sexy. Suddenly he lit up as if he had remembered something. If he were a cartoon a lightbulb would have appeared over his head. He swung around to face the timid Monica who was now standing quietly about 5 feet away from them.
"Good Lord! We've been completely neglecting our Monica! Could ye ever forgive us?"
"Oh, yes definitely!" She murmured. After a few awkward introductions they went back to the dressing rooms. Monica watched as Edge and Larry went into their respective dressing rooms, leaving her standing there with Bono and Adam.
"I guess I'll see you and Larry and Edge back at the hotel..." Adam began.
"Yeah I guess so but don't expect to wait up for me...I don't know exactly what my schedule will be tonight." Bono winked at Monica. Monica gulped. What could Bono mean by that?! “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” Laughed Adam ironically as he walked down the corridor.
"Eh...Monica would you mind waiting on the sofa while I change?" Bono asked once they got into the dressing room. He was already taking off his shirt very slowly to reveal a wet and powerful torso, his hair matted all over his face. He got a great kick out of watching her drool and he looked at her out of lidded eyes. Monica had a choking lump in her throat and breathing was getting harder and harder to do.
"Aaah...yes Bono I'll wait right here!" Monica managed sinking into the soft cotton couch.
"Good." Bono's voice huskily answered. Bono walked into the adjoining bathroom. What he may or may not have realized is that the door was open enough for Monica to see his full body reflected in the full length mirror!
"Should I look?" Monica wondered. "Yeah!" She watched with her mouth agape as Bono proceeded to peel off all his clothes until he was completely naked! Monica allowed her eyes to slowly peruse his sensual Taurean frame. Soon Bono turned on the hot water which steamed up the window so she couldn't see anymore. Bono hopped into the shower and began to sing. He was humming so quietly at first Monica could not tell what he was singing. Then she realised it. It was All I Want is You the one song they hadn't sung in that show, and it was her favourite U2 love song. It was achingly beautiful and it brought tears to Monica's eyes. Suddenly Bono let out a loud groan.
"OOOOOH my aching back and shoulders!!! Monica, can you hear me in there?"
"Ahem...yes Bono!" Monica shouted back over the water and trying to sound as if she had not been crying.
"You don't happen to be good at giving massages are you?" He asked in a husky voice.
"Um well I'm certainly no professional but I could always give it a whirl! Why?"
"Well, my back is killing me and all this hot water dictates that it would be pretty beneficial to have a massage! If you'd be willing that is!"
"OK Bono....I'm coming!" Monica wandered into the steamy bathroom. Bono had parted the shower curtain so his gorgeous face poked through with dimples playing over his adorable face. Monica was still fully dressed and was fast becoming completely hot. (in two ways!)
"Monica, I don't know how adventurous you are but don't you think it would be fun if you took your clothes off and hopped in with me? You'd do better for massaging in here I think!" Monica couldn't believe what Bono had just said to her. But this was a once in a lifetime possibility and she wasn't going to blow it with Bono! Monica peeled her clothes off and hopped into the shower. That Bono had the most gorgeous body she had ever seen. She proceeded to rub her hands slowly and sensuously over his warm flesh. Her fingers sank into his muscles and rubbed every nook and cranny. Bono began to moan softly. Then he turned around to face her and before she could do another thing he planted his divine mouth on her lips and gave her a huge taurean bear hug. Monica and Bono were completely turned on and they began to make out right there in the tub. With Bono inside her, he grabbed her around the waist, she wrapped her legs around him and he carried her over to the couch while locking the door at the same time. There on the couch they proceeded to see their love made complete....thread is ripping..the knot is slipping...blindness.......
When it was over they lay in a soaking wet mess on the couch. Monica was running her fingers through his wet thick tresses. Bono was staring deeply into her with his deep blue eyes. They were lying in a spoon position. Bono spoke in hushed tones.
"Monica, ever since I saw your exquisite face in the queue I knew you were the one I was in love with. I wanted you all to myself. I know we haven't exactly gotten to know each other yet but I would never have committed such an intimate act of love with just anyone. I am truly in love with you and feel as if I've know you my whole entire life. Do you think you could consider becoming my soul mate...the woman who will marry me and stay with me for the rest of my life....the woman to whom I would present diamonds on a ring of gold who's story is as yet untold?" Bono's eyes were filling with tears. Monica had a burning lump in her throat. She hoped this was not a dream because this was the very thing for which she had lived her entire life. Her dream was coming true.
"Oh Bono....of course!" Bono smiled a smile not impish or sexy but a smile of true love. It was the most beautiful smile of all.
"This is for you my love, until I find that ring that is worthy of you." Bono placed one of his gold rings on her finger. It didn't fit but she held onto it tightly. It was hers.
"We don't have a concert again for another few days. Will you sail away with me for a few days so we can be alone?" Bono asked full of hope shining in his eyes.
"Oh, Bono...of course I will!" Monica and Bono got dressed and slipped out of the building, to the airport, into a helicopter and, like the owl and the pussycat, into their beautiful pea green boat, where they were off to sea....and gone on the rising tide....
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Old 08-10-2001, 04:57 AM   #4
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Part III: Mrs. Edge

Jessica screamed and slammed on the brakes as she felt something smash into the hood of her car.
Looking up, she saw a man go tumbling to the ground and a large burly man staring at her as if she were death itself. His fist was up in the air.
Shaking like a leaf, Jessica managed to pull the car over and get out. Tears were in her eyes and she was bubbling apologies to the large man before she even reached him.
"Watch where yer goin' lady," He told her angrily.
"I'm sorry, my cd fell- oh geez, did I hurt him?" Jessica was staring at the back of the man who had been sent to the ground.
He slowly stood up, brushing himself off. Jessica was a bit more realived that he was alive.
"Yer lucky yer just didnt kill him right there," the big man went on. "Knocked his socks right off."
The man who Jessica hit still had his back to her; he was examining the hole that had been put into his jeans. "Oh, leave her alone," he said.
WAiiit a minute, Jessica thought, I *know* that voice.....I know those *jeans*.... her body started to shake again.
The man turned around to face her, fixing his black knit hat that had been rumpled in his fall.
"Edge!" Jessica said, although it only came out in a whisper. "I just hit the Edge!" Jessica promptly passed out.
"Get outta here," she heard a voice saying. "I got it, okay, ye've done enough already."
"What?" Jessica mumbled, shaking her head. Her eyes opened and slowly focused. What a weird dream she had just had-
Edge smiled sadly at her. "Are you alright?" came from his beautiful lips.
"I wasn't dreaming?"
"It's a good thing you're tiny, huh?" Jessica stared blankly at Edge. "I had to carry you all the way over here. Maybe I didn't notice what with my tight muscles, eh?"
Jessica pried her eyes off of her hero and looked around to realize she wasin an old diner across the street. Her car was still parked crooked at the side of the road.
Seeing her car brought back the entire event, and her eyes welled up with tears. She almost killed him! This gorgeous, wonderful specimen of a human being! The table started to shake on its legs from her
shaking so much.
Edge's amiable grin disappeared from his face, clearly shaken to see how upset Jessica was. "No, no you didn't almost kill me."
"Yes I did!" SHe couldn't believe it- she was here with Edge and she was crying! This *was* a nightmare!
"Hey, hey," Edge said gently, "what is all this, eh? That was just Jerry, he hit the car with his fist, sweetie. He didn't think you were watching."
"But you were on the ground."
"Yeah, the oaf pushed me down. Too freakin' over-protective."
Jessica was breathing hard, her hands clasped on the tabletop. She didn't know to believe him or not. Edge could see her fear and gently unclapsed her fingers until her hand were palm to palm with his hands enveloping hers. His thumbs rubbed circles onto the back of her hands.
He's done such amazing things with these hands.... Jessica thought, and now they are on me!
Her body shuddered and she was afraid she was going to cry again from sheer exhaustion and total upheavel of reality. The Edge was sitting opposite of her, holding her hands and comforting her. This was too
much. She must have hit him- it was a loud thump, and Jerry didn't have *that* big of a fist. Edge was just trying to be nice, even
though she almost killed him!
"Jessica, Jessica," Edge repeated her name in his sexy accent, trying to get her to focus back on him.
"Yes?" she managed.
He stared at her, calmly. His gaze was peaceful and penetrated into her soul. She took a deep breath. He nodded, then said quietly, "Shut your eyes, no- no questions. Just shut your eyes."
This is the part where I wake up, Jessica thought wirly. But she did it anyway, twisting her ankles together
nervously. Edge was pressing his hands firlmy against hers to keep them in his grasp.
SLowly Jessica began to feel better. Edge brought their hands up to her face. She felt his finger tug at her lip, which she had anxiously taken hostage between her teeth.
"Much better,"she heard him say quietly.
Reflexively, nervously, she licked her lips, suddenly feeling the intensity of his gaze even with her eyes shut. Her lashes felt heavy from wet tears.
"I couldn't have asked for a more beautiful woman to hit me," Edge said and she giggled nervously, keeping her eyes shut, not daring to wake up and stare into her alarm clock's red eyes.
The table shifted and Jessica felt the Edge lean forward. He smelled wonderful and refreshing. She could feel his breath on her face.... She tilted her head forward as naturally as if she had been born for this moment.
Edge's lips were softer than she could ever have imagined. They landed gently on hers, so slowly that for a split second she forgot where her lips ended and his began. Their lips parted and he leaned back again, pulling her eyes open as he left.
She stared at Edge, lips still parted. He stared back at her, refleciting her amazement at what just transgressed. His green eyes were more beautiful than anything she'd ever seen. His cheeks were a bit pink
and Jess couldn't help that warmness that spread over her, knowing his red cheeks were because of her. His skin looked so smooth she just wanted to rub her lips back and forth back and forth forever against it.
"Thank you," Jessica managed.
"Thank you," he echoed, still staring at her with wide eyes.
Jessica's selfish lips broke from his kiss's mold and smiled for him. It was worth it, because he grinned back at her.
"Remind me to thank Jerry later, okay?"
She nodded. "You got it."
Edge and Jessica spent the rest of the morning and afternoon cruising around her town. Turned out Edge had come earlier than the rest of the band on a complete fluke. He said he felt he needed to get away from home for a bit and remembered how much he loved Ontario last time he was there, and figured it was a perfect place to spend some time catching his breath.
Only now he called it a divine intervention. He even said he was happy he had gotten so stressed- he even broke a guitar on stage during a show!- because his
need for a break lead him to Jessica.
"So when will the rest of the band be here?" Jessica asked, relaxing on Edge's couch in his hotel room. He had wanted to show her his expansive view and she did not argue!
"Tomorrow," he said, wrinkling his eyes. "I've been here a week already." He smiled at her, his disappointment that they would did have much free time together apparant. "But enough about that- tell me
when you started dancing?"
Jessica smiled. He loved asking things about her- he wanted to know everything about her, how she thought. He was insanely interested in her fundraising and her thoughts on the organizations the band supported, as well as the awards she won working the Ballet companies. "I've been dancing ever since i can remember! I just love it- to be able to control and use my body so I can express myself," Jessica, paused, searching for the words, "there just is no other way for things to be."
Edge nodded, clearly loving Jessica's passion and excitment. She loved watching him watch her- especially when she caught him staring in amazement at her. That always comletely floored her, not to mention make her feel so damn sexy!
Jessica continued explaining, "There's just this place I can go, and it's so beautiful and sometimes I even bring people there with me! Ha, it's great." Jessica said wistfully. Then she started remembering her class earlier today, which had gotten her frustrated and made her rush in the car, drop the cd..hit edge, er, jerry.... "There's this crazy move that I had *down*, you know, but it just wasn't good enough in class-"
"Show me," Edge interjected.
"I can't! I dont have my shoes." She smiled at him.
"Yeah, just show me without the shoes. On your feet. I'm sure it'll look just as good." Edge was looking at her with eyes that looked like...well, Bono's eyes!
That look of hunger and excitment! Jessica jumped up off the couch and stood in front of Edge, who was on the end of the bed. She did the move and landed nearly perfect, feet pointed and hands thrust out. Edge exclaimed in awe, "Wow, Jessica that is beautiful. I wish I could see you really perform." He started laughing, "Bono says I have two left feet dancing."
"This is a different type of dancing," jessica explained, grabbing his hand. "C'mon, let me show you."
Edge laughed but stood up. Jessica marveled at how easy going and trusting he was with her.
"Here, now, we'll do an easy one," she said, standing behind him, his back to her. She could see his expression in the mirror as he raised his eyebrows and pursed his lips, making a mock elegant face. She
laughed and positioned his hands. "Here, lift your foot," she said, moving his feet outward.
"Whoaaa- whoaaa!" Edge yelled, getting caught off balance. He fell backwards into Jessica's arms, pulling her down on the floor with him.
They started laughing, Edge reinacting his clumsy ballet attempt in between his laughter. Jessica was extremely aware they were on the floor together, his
arm around her. Their laughter slowly extinguished, and Edge, his chest rising and falling steadily, stared intently at her. Jessica felt herself start to tingle again, amazed by this man who was equally mazed by her.
"I have a weird feeling about you, Miss Jessica," Edge said to her.
"I have a weird feeling about you, too, Mr. Edge," Jessica replied, barely breathing.
Jessica thought Edge was going to kiss her again. He was staring at her, then she could nearly see the wheels spinning in his head. "you know," he said softly, reaching with his free hand to finger a strand of her hair. "I have my own hot tub, here." A slow, sexy smile spread over Jessica's face. "Last one in has to do another piele!"
The next night Jessica was reliving her and Edge's night together in her mind, only it was hard to concentrate when there were 20,000 people screaming at the top of
their lungs. Jessica sighed and her friend Carrie poked her ribs. When Edge gave Jessica two tickets to tonight's show and press passes, Jessica instantly thought of her friend Carrie who previously schemed
with her ways she could manage to win Edge. When Carrie heard of Jessica's adventures she was ecstatic- and of course eagerly accepted the extra ticket for tonight's show.
"What cloud are you are on now?" Carrie asked, smiling like crazy for her friend.
"Right around cloud 45," Jessica said. THey bothed laughed; Edge was wearing #45 for tonight's performance.
They were right in front of Edge for the show. He winked at Jessica when he first came on. Now they were singing Kite and his eyes were closed tightly, his fingers masterfully manipulating the guitar, head
tilted back as he sang passionately.
"Wow," Carried said, impressed by his emotion.
"Yum," Jessica said, impressed by his sexy neck. THe girls exploded with laughter.
The concert was wonderful; Jessica was soo happy not to have to wait around and hope to get a scalped ticket. This was perfect! Unbelievable! Truly appropriate!
Bono was at the tip of the heart now, and getting ready to introduce the band. Jessica kept catching curious glances from Adam; Carrie was positive she saw even Larry check her out. Jessica's face was hurting
from smiling so much.
"And on geeeetarr," Bono was saying, grinning at his mate, "A man who definitely has his head orbiting another satellite tonight, and this time it's not NASA, the one, the only, straight from the Baroque Opera and Ballet Company, The Edge!"
Edge grinned a million dollars as he walked around the catwalk. Jessica nearly fell over- Edge had clearly told Bono everything about her, even the company she
worked for!! Carrie grabbed her arm and they were jumping up and down.
The band played Desire, then Bono spoke to the crowd, explaining, "We are going to do something a little differently tonight. Edge- take over!"
Bono started to walk their way down the catwalk. The crowd was cheering like crazy, Edge just smiling, "Eh-- hallo! I figure Bono's always gettin' the babes, so tonight's my turn up!"
Jessica's breath caught in her throat. Carrie pinched her arm, making some incoherent noises, and Jessica looked up to see Bono standing in front of her on the
catwalk. Security guards were lifting Jessica up even before she knew what was going on.
"So yer Miss Jessica?" Bono grinned slyly at her.
"That's Mrs. Edge, to you," Jessica said just as slyly.
Bono threw back his head and laughed, clapping his hands.
"Hello," Edge said to her, away from the microphone. He smiled shyly at her, looking up ather beneath his eyelashes.
She wanted to kiss him. THere were 20,000 people watching, but she would have bet otherwise. She dipped her head and planted a soft kiss on his soft cheek. The crowd roared in excitement. Edge laughed
and smiled, throwing up his hand.
"ALlright!" Bono was yelling behind them, jumping around with his usual energy. Edge handed him his guitar, and the song began.
Tears welled in Jessica's eyes. Her heart was breaking.
"Darkness falls and she, she takes me by the hand. Take me to some twilight land."
Edge walked towards her. She clung to him, wrapping her arms around him.
"Where all but love is gray, where I can't find my way, without her as my guide."
Jessica was trembling, and could feel Edge's body pressed up tightly against hers, his hand secure in the small of her back, him singing passionatly just for her- and she thought nothing could have beat last night!
"Night falls, I'm cast beneath her spell, daylight falls, our heaven turns to hell, Am I left to burn, and burn eternally, Jess's a mystery to me,"
Jessica choked back tears, hiding her head in his chest. His hand moved and held her head against him, comforting her, holding her.
They slow danced around, Jess unbelieving in hearing Edge's voice, which never sounded so beautiful and serene before. He was singing passionately, unaware of anyone else but her.
"In the night of love, words tangled in her hair, words soon to disappear. A love so sharp it cut, like a switchblade to my heart, words tearing me apart."
Jessica could see Bono watching them longingly as he strummed the guitar, singing the chorus and backingup Edge. She looked up at Edge, and his eyes burned holes into the crowd, too riveting to look at her.
"I want to come, she's pulling me apart, fallen angels cries, but i won't go away, she's a mystery girl..." Jessica smiled as he changed the lyrics for her. "She's a mystery girl...."
The song ended and the stadium erupted in cheers.
Bono was jumping up and down, "they love you," he said, "take a bow!"
She smiled, the spotlight hot on her face. Slipping out of Edge's hand, she dipped into a curtsy, much to the chagrin of the crowd, least of all Bono and Edge.
"You're so beautiful!" Edge called, clapping his hands for her. She smiled sweetly him in thanks.
"What! Come on! You want some more?!" Bono was yelling. He leaped over to the Edge and whispered quickly into his ear. Edge nodded, a determination settling over his face. Jess wasn't sure to leave or not, but Bono said, "stay right here," and went to the
center of the heart.
The lights went out.
Jessica's heart jumped. She didn't know where Edge was and was afraid to move lest she fall off the heart. The crowd grew very, very quiet.
Suddenly, Edge's pure voice came across the stadium, flirting through the air by itself, searching for her ears.
"Wisseeee mennn sayyyy.... only fools rushhh in... but Jessica, I can't help, falling in love...with you.."
Jessica's hand flew to her open mouth, tears filling her eyes. This was too much! How could this be happening?
She felt the Edge's hands on her arms, and suddenly a lone spotlight shone down on them. She was trembling.
Edge bent down. He put his microphone on the stage, and stood back up to stare at her.
"Some things, were meant to beeeee..." Bono had taken over for Edge.
Edge went back down on his knees. Make that, his *knee*. Jessica felt faint. She felt nauseous.
Bono, a million miles away: "Takkee myyy hand, takeee myy whooolle lifeee, too!"
Edge took Jessica's hand in his. She felt the metal band from his palm as he pressed it into her hand.
"Jessica, will you marry me?" Edge asked. "Please be my bride."
Jessica was choked up. "Yes, Edge! Yes!"
Edge leapt up and circled his arms around Jessica, picking her up and spinnging her around. She threw her head back, laughing and crying at the same time. Edge was laughing with joy too.
"For I cannn't help, falling in lovveee, with you!" Bono sped through the end of the song than ran over to the two of them, throwing his arms around them.
"ALlright!" Bono yelled.
Edge set Jessica down. SHe was grinning wildly at him, who was crazy happy.
"Jessica, I love you," Edge said. "Or should I say, Mrs. Edge," he said with a sexy grin.
Jessica smiled and repeated his love back to him.
Mrs Edge. Now that, she could get used to.
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Old 08-10-2001, 04:58 AM   #5
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Part IV: Sparky´s girl

How Sparky Got His Spark Back
Edge’s guitar was screeching and roaring its way to the close of Until The End of the World. After a long whine of feedback, the distant thunder of “dum-dum-dum-dummmmm da dum da dum-dum-dum-dummmm da dum da dum-dum-dum-dummmmm da dum da-dum-dum-dum-dummmmmmm” thundered through the stadium, to the roaring approval of the fans. It was New Years’ Day of course, and Adam’s shining moment...arguably one of the most beloved and famous intros to any U2 song. It was the middle of the Popmart tour, the first of a two night stay in San Antonio Texas. Adam stood on stage, jutting his head forward in time to the beat, jaw clenched, twisting his bass around his torso like a hipster washing machine. His bleached blond hair glinted in the powerful spotlight....his white rectangular glasses perfectly matching his hair and orange jumpsuit.
Adam was one cool cat. Adam was the most calm, cool and collected member of the band. He strolled to the side of the stage and watched the fans clambering over to scream at him. “Adam! Adam! Adam!” He smiled at them in a kindly, almost paternal way, winking as he wandered back to face Larry. “Sayyy it’s true it’s trueeeeee.....and we can draaaaaag throuuuuuugh... though torn in twoooooo we can BE OOOOOONE!” bellowed Bono from the B-Stage. The audience’s attention, as usual, had returned to the singer.
Adam observed the hysteria. He knew the fans loved him, and that he was perched on top of the world, but he felt strangely empty. Not empty in an artistic fulfillment way, he had never felt better about the band and its music. It was that he was lonely. He had no one in his life. When not on the road, he spent his life at home eating frozen dinners and watching TV. No love. Infatuation maybe, but no love. He wanted LOVE! What had happened to him in those brief years since the breakup with Naomi Campbell? And why hadn’t he listened to the voice of reason that cautioned him when he was with her? Always listen to the little voice in your head.
He still enjoyed his bachelorhood, but now that he had quit drinking, the novelty was beginning to wear off. After all, he was pushing 40 and he began to wonder if he would EVER find true love and settle down. He was tired of being “Uncle Sparky” to all the rest of the band’s kids. He was tired of one night stands, and failed or worse yet, nonexistent romances. Sparky had lost his spark...and he didn’t know how to pull out of the downward spiral his mood was taking him. Adam sighed deeply and wondered what he was going to do that evening. Maybe he should just go to the hotel, shut the blackout blinds and go to sleep. Even as he was thinking these thoughts, his fingers danced effortlessly across the bass strings, he barely needed to know what song was being played...he was on automatic pilot.
The screeching whine of Bullet the Blue Sky startled Adam out of his reverie for a moment, and his eyes wandered to the Edge’s side of the stage. Man, that guy could play a guitar like nothing else on earth. Adam was filled with admiration. His eyes wandered to a small throng of blissful girls staring up at Edge as he earnestly concentrated on his guitar, paying them no attention. Then Adam noticed something odd. There was one girl, all the more noticeable because of her stillness as the crowd swayed around her. He couldn’t see her clearly, but he could tell she wasn’t looking at Edge, she was looking at him! Her head was turned in his direction, and her eyes were so intense they burned a hole in his very soul! Why was she watching him when Edge was standing right there? Adam decided to wander over and have a closer look.
Adam rarely went over to the Edge’s side of the stage, and Bono peered over from his perch on the B-stage in puzzlement. Edge looked up, his face the very picture of concern. Was something going wrong? Did Adam want to change the setlist? Was someone getting hurt in the crowd? What was going on? Edge furrowed his brow, but Adam just smiled and squinted his eyes at the girl so he could see her better. As his eyes focused in the darkness, he began to wonder if his prescription needed changing. He couldn’t believe the vision he was seeing. This girl, who smiled at him so demurely and yet so sexually at the same time, was the most unspeakably gorgeous creature he had ever seen. She was obviously of some sort of Hispanic descent, and if there was one thing Adam loved, it was an exotic looking babe. Then he noticed she was offering him a note of some sort. Just as he was reaching down to collect it he heard Bono as he wandered up the catwalk.
”...and I can see those fighter planes and I can SEE those fighter planes...across the mud huts where the......HEY! What’s this? Adam Clayton’s on the wrong side of the stage! Are ye passin’ notes during my sermon? If yer gonna pass notes, you’d better share the contents with the rest of the class!” The audience roared its approval.
Maria could not believe her good luck. Her Propaganda subscription had really paid off. The front row! How could things get any better than this? Well, they would be a lot better if she weren’t stuck on the Edge’s side of the stage! Not that she had anything against the darling Edge of course, it was just that Adam was the one man on the planet meant for her, and she needed him to see her...needed to show him how she felt. She had spent the entire day writing him a letter spilling out her feelings about how she felt about the man, his music and how there was a big cosmic mix-up, and silly though it sounded, she knew they were meant to be together. “I try to spit it out...try to explain.. the way I feel...oh yeah...two hearts”.
How was she going to give it to him now? She didn’t want to risk leaving it at the hotel, so she decided it MUST happen now, and she would will it to happen. From the moment Adam wandered up the catwalk to the jumpy strains of Pop Musik, she had glued her eyes upon his form. It broke her heart to see how sad he looked. How she wanted to make him happy! How she wanted to find love for the first time with a man who she knew needed love and would fulfill her every desire! Slowly but surely, she watched her ultimate fantasy unfold. Adam was looking at her, and he was walking her way! He was even stopping in the middle of the song to take her letter! And then...DISASTER!! Her heart leapt in her throat as Bono strode over and snatched the letter right out of her hands to the delight of the audience.
“Ahem. OK The Edge you can stop playing now.” Bono commanded. The audience hushed as the crinkling of paper echoed through the microphone and into thousands of eager ears. Larry rolled his eyes in disgust. The things Bono would do at the expense of the songs!!! Maria wanted to pass out, but she didn’t dare. Adam stood beside Bono, a half smile of bemusement on his face. He smiled reassuringly at Maria, but she was no longer looking at him, she was looking in terror at Bono as the dimples sprung to his cheeks.
“Ehm.....Dear Adam....blah blah blah.....(long silence) OOOH! Adam, there’s been a cosmic mistake!” Adam raised his eyebrows with interest. Maria wanted to die. As Bono read the letter he began to feel badly about invading this beautiful girl’s privacy, and he had to admit, he was a bit jealous that she wasn’t into HIM! “Well, Adam, I’ll let you read this in private, but it looks to me as if you have found your soul mate. Not only that, but she loves a song we haven’t played in a long time! I say we play it for her. Hey Edge....” Bono whispered in Edge’s ear, and then in Adam’s. Adam smiled enthusiastically. He liked a bit of spontaneity now and then. He went over to advise Larry, as Bono addressed the crowd. “Edge probably can’t play this, but that’s OK. I think something special is happening in San Antonio....” The crowd roared. “I think two hearts are gonna beat as one tonight!” The crowd exploded into cheers as Adam and Larry launched into the song. Maria wanted to die again... but this time from ecstasy.
Maria wandered home, with images of the concert flowing through her brain. Bono had sung Two Hearts for her...with Edge swaying and jumped all over the stage...but most of all Adam had tucked her note into his pocket. She couldn’t wait for tomorrow’s show! She couldn’t help feeling a bit sad though that her U2 encounter had been so brief. She wished that Bono had pulled her up on stage to dance with him, but perhaps that was pushing her luck.
Although it was very late when she got home, she was way too wired to fall asleep. She decided to play her Gloria video, remembering how she had first fallen in love with the man under the poofy blond hair....just as she was starting to doze off, the phone rang. With her head still full of cobwebs, she picked up the receiver. “Hello?”
“Oh, hello! May I please speak to Maria?”
“Speaking...” Maria was now wide awake...she wasn’t sleeping! That voice. That unmistakable voice!
“This is know, from U2?”
“Yes, I know....” She could barely bring herself to speak, her heart was about to explode!
“Well, listen. I was just reading your note, and I hope you don’t feel bad about what Bono did. He’s such a clown. But really, what you wrote is obviously from the heart, and believe me...I could use a bit of heart these days.”
“Thank you, I really meant it and I hope you don’t think I’m some sort of psycho!”
“(warm guttural laughter) no, no. Listen, what are you doing?” She didn’t want to tell him that she had fallen asleep watching U2 videos in her room, that sounded kind of sad.
“Oh, I was just having some cognac, and winding down....” It seemed like an Adamesque answer.
“Lovely! Well listen, the night is still early, it’s only 1am....I’m just off to a club to hear this DJ friend of mine, and I was wondering if you’d care to join me?” Maria felt a strange calm, as though this was the most important mission of her life and she was not going to screw this up.
“I’d love that! I’m not far, I’ll be right over.” They made arrangements for her to meet him in the lobby. She had been given a password in case she ran into trouble. “OH MY GOD I’M GOING ON A DATE WITH ADAM CLAYTON!!!!!” Maria screamed to no one in particular. She ran around the house like a mad fiend trying to find something to wear. She settled on a sexy, vintage 60’s paisley cat suit, hoop earrings (which accentuated her dark hair, which was up in a bun with curls spilling out) and high heeled boots. She looked very feminine and very sexy if she did say so herself.
When she arrived at the hotel, there was a small crowd of fans lining up, observing the waiting blue towncar. As she strode casually into the hotel, she was stopped by the manager. “Excuse me miss, I’m sorry but we’re only letting guests of the hotel in and...”
“Ehm that’s all right, I know this girl...” It was the unmistakably hoarse and sexy drawl of one Paul Hewson.
“Oh, OK Bono, no problem.” The manager wandered off to shoo some fans away from sitting on his expensive flowerpots. She smiled sweetly at Bono and thanked him.
“VavavaVOOM! BOOOM CHA!!!” Bono purred his delight as he sauntered over to her. Ooooooooo, that scent. That was the scent of pure, raw sexual chemistry. Just as she and Bono were beginning to discuss that evening’s show “I hope there are no hard feelings for what happened....but hopefully we made it up to you with the song!” Out of the elevator popped Adam. Maria’s mouth fell open. Adam was wearing a red velvet suit, flecked with gold. He was even wearing gold shoes, and gold rimmed glasses. He looked absolutely.....
“Woah, man you look great!” Bono interrupted her thoughts. Adam grinned benevolently. This girl was so gorgeous. He was actually beginning to feel nervous! He loved the feeling! He hadn’t felt nervous about anything in such a long time. This was a really good sign. “Shall we?” Adam held out his arm, which she linked in his. Out of the hotel and into the car they swept, ignoring the screams of the fans waiting outside. Bono watched the tail lights disappear into the night. His face fell slowly. Quietly, in his best MacPhisto English accent he sadly declared “I’m a washed up old pop star in platform shoes...nobody loves me anymore....” and wandered straight to the bar.
The club was one of the coolest, most underground clubs in the city. This was only to be expected on a date with Adam. The problem was that the music was so loud, it was impossible for them to talk. She and Adam just grooved to the music and downed some drinks. Adam even asked her to dance, which she forced herself to do, despite her shyness. She wasn’t going to miss out on a single experience with her beloved. At around 5am, Adam spoke in her ear “It’s getting on, I’m going to go back to the hotel I think. We’ve got a show today, so I want to rest up.” She felt her heart sinking. Was this the end of her evening?
“OK, you must be exhausted. Thank you SO much for bringing me, I had so much fun!”
“I’m glad! But listen, I still haven’t had the chance to talk to you, and get to know you. Do you want to stay over at the hotel and hang out tomorrow too? We’d love to have you come to the soundcheck, and then to the show.” Maria wanted to pinch herself. Could this possibly be happening?? Had the cosmos finally got its act together?
After nodding vigorously, she gave her arm to Adam, who had held his out to her again. He was so sexy, and so manly and so chivalrous, and so elegant, and so intelligent...she had loved him all her life, and now she was going back to the hotel with him. She wondered what would happen when they got there. She didn’t have long to wonder, because Adam said very little on the quick ride back, staring pensively into the gray morning light.
They walked hand in hand through the lobby, and into the elevator. There was a quiet understanding about what was about to take place. She swallowed the lump in her throat as he unlocked the key to his room, which was softly lit. They stood facing each other, she staring up into his dark brown eyes, so soft and so warm and full of understanding, yet also full of mischief and sexual energy. He placed a hand to her cheek and began playing with a loose strand of hair.
“Maria, you really are the most amazing woman. I’ve known you for what...7 hours? But I feel like I’ve known you forever! I haven’t felt so happy in a long time. You may be right about this cosmos stuff...They both laughed softly and stood even closer together, this time, Adam leaned in to kiss her. Adam had such warm, soft, full lips, they were like flower petals. She felt herself sinking into him, deeper and deeper. When they paused for breath Adam whispered “Now I don’t want you to think I’m sharking you, because I’m not. I feel really strongly about you. But this has been such an amazing night....would I be pushing my luck if...” He didn’t have to finish. She shook her head and pushed herself into him again, knocking him slightly off balance. Soon the clothes were falling to the floor. She had of course seen the picture of Adam naked before, but nothing could have prepared her for the gloriousness of THIS sight, especially now that he was...excited! It took her breath away....
At 4:00 three of the members of U2 tapped their feet impatiently on the stage waiting for Adam.
“Erm, where’s that Adam?” Larry muttered.
“Adam? Adam’s lost in space....” Bono replied. Edge merely tinkered with his foot pedals.
“Erm, well if Adam doesn’t get here in the next foyve minutes Oym staartin’ without him!” Larry was very annoyed. When it came to band business, Larry was a no nonsense kind of guy.
“HELLO LADS!” Adam chimed from across the room, walking hand in hand with Maria, who was wearing a very feminine chiffon dress that Adam had bought her that very day. A rose was tucked in her dark hair. They had just come from an enormous Mexican lunch, after having arisen at approximately 2:00. The band looked at Adam incredulously. They had NEVER seen him looking so....HAPPY! The man was positively glowing!
“Well....there’s a...spring in yer step today Adam!” Bono grinned.
Maria sat quietly on the B-Stage to watch the whole rehearsal, and during the concert, she was seated right against the middle of the ramp. That evening, during With or Without You, as the coloured lights glittered and shimmered like stars in the summer night off the mirrorball lemon, Maria watched Adam as he played. An enormous, bursting, so wonderful it was painful feeling had overcome her, too huge to keep in her heart. If this was love, then she knew it would last forever. Suddenly Bono spoke. The song had ended without her realizing it.
“We’ve got a special treat for you tonight...I’d like to introduce to you a man...a man who had lost his spark, but has FOUND IT AGAIN!!!! A man who never sings, but who would like to sing for you tonight.” The audience set a new decibel level as Adam walked up to the mike and Edge started plucking out a familiar tune, which Maria couldn’t place right away.
“Here’s a little ditty that I’d like to sing in honour of love. I’m not going to ruin a U2 song for you, but this song just fits my life so much right now.....well, here goes.....I’ve got sunshiiiiiine on a cloudy dayyyyyy....when it’s cold outside...I’ve got Maria today....I bet you’d say.. what would make me feel this way...My Girl... Talkin’ ‘bout Sparky’s Girl....MY GIRL!” Tears welled up in Maria’s eyes as she watched the lighters flick on, and the arms waving and clapping... she watched Bono grinning from ear to ear as he and Edge shared a mic to sing backup. And she listened to Adam’s voice, a sound which had never sounded so sweet in her life. Her new and lasting life, as Sparky’s Girl.
The End.
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Old 08-10-2001, 04:59 AM   #6
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Part V: Sicilian Goddess

In Goddess’ Country
(Editor’s note: Christine is her current age in this story, because it simply would not work to have her being 14 years old!)
“ sing this song......” Sang the audience adoringly as Larry stood up from his drum kit, waved into the dark abyss, and strolled off stage for the last time that show. It was the middle of the first leg of the Joshua Tree tour, and U2 had just finished playing Las Vegas. They had one day off before heading to San Diego. Larry was glad to have a day off, he needed to get away from everyone! If it wasn’t the press with their irritating, repetitive questions, it was the screaming female fans. Larry loved and appreciated all the fans, and he was flattered by the attention to the band, but he couldn’t stand being smothered with all this adoration. Especially over something as shallow as his looks. Larry wanted to be loved for who he was, even if he were hideous. He had been hosing off women since the days they crowded around his front garden during band practice, and not much had changed since 1978!
“Ehm, great show tonight Lawrence.....are ye comin’ with us to the club?” Bono asked, toweling off his lustrous, thick, sweaty, shoulder-length hair.
“Thanks...but no, I’m gonna head out for a little while on me bike. I need to clear my head. If you don’t see me, I’ll see you at the sound check...” Larry waved nonchalantly to the others, pulled on his black leather jacket and helmet and away he roared into the cold desert night air, waving to the fans outside the stadium as he sped away into the night. Much like Ringo in The Beatles’ A Hard Day’s Night, it seemed that drummers just needed time on their own sometimes.
Christine was so excited about seeing U2 for the first time in San Diego with her best friend Kelli, she was practically incapable of functioning in a normal manner. She had taken a week’s vacation, mostly because she was becoming more of a detriment than a help at work, especially when she started asking her lawyer’s immigration clients why on earth they would want to immigrate to the US when they could be going to Ireland? But by being home on holiday, she found she was seeing more and more of her disgusting, perverted, sleazy neighbor Robbie. She needed to get away. Away from everything that reminded her of real life. This would be a trip just for her, and it would culminate in the ultimate escapist experience, U2 in San Diego. How she would cope with real life again after it was all over?....Well she would cross that bridge when she got to it.
It was now the day before her San Diego show, and Christine had arisen early and spent a sun soaked morning driving in an open topped convertible through the Joshua Tree filled desert, her long dark hair flying in the wind, to Nevada, where she was going to a) book herself into a luxurious resort just outside of Las Vegas for the night and do some serious gambling and b) lounge around beside one of the resort’s outdoor pools. She couldn’t wait. What an excellent way to relax before the show!
But now it was about 10:30, and she was getting hungry. Up the highway, which was almost empty except for the tumbleweeds, she noticed a run-down looking motel and a truck stop diner. She decided what she needed was a humongous, greasy breakfast. After pulling into the diner’s parking lot, she noticed a gang of bikers coming out of the diner. They stopped to stare at her, and began making lewd gestures. Christine tried to ignore them, but as she walked closer to the diner, she felt danger in the air as they tried to block her way. Far from being intimidated, Christine wasn’t going to take any crap from anybody. She was Sicilian, and she was hungry.
“Oh, YEAH? You think you’re pretty tough, don’t ‘cha. Well if you think you’re scaring me, you’ve got another thing coming! You’ve got some nerve harassing me in broad daylight! You wanna see scary? I’ll show ya scary!!!” Enraged to the point where she could no longer see straight, she got in her car, backed up and rammed it rather clumsily into the closest Harley she could see. SCCRRRREEEEEECH! The hideous sound of screeching metal led to the tinkle of shattered glass. She had scratched a huge gouge along the side of the bike, and broken the windshield and rear view mirror.
Grinning triumphantly, she climbed out of the car, slammed the door and crossed her arms. “So what are you going to do about THAT!?” She felt very pleased with herself. The gang stood silently for a minute, shocked that this delicate looking woman could unleash such furious defiance.
“Well babe, you’re just lucky that isn’t one of ours, or believe me, you really wouldn’t want to see what we’d do about that!” Roaring with laughter, the gang walked to the other side of the parking lot, where their bikes were parked. Christine felt her heart fall into her stomach. What had she done?
“WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE???!!!” Thundered a male voice. Christine turned around slowly, preparing to face the music. When she saw source of the anger standing in the doorway of the diner, she froze, rooted to the spot. If her heart had fallen to her stomach before, it was now in her shoes. There, standing in the doorway of the diner, stood Larry Mullen Jr. She stood speechless as Larry walked over to assess the damage to his favourite bike. His mouth agape, his eyes wide like saucers, Larry stroked the side of his bike, meticulously examining each square inch, and muttering “I don’t feckin’ believe this! Son of a bitch! My bike! Fuck!” under his breath.
Christine began to shake uncontrollably. This was Larry Mullen! The love of her life! What force of fate had brought them together like this? How could she explain this to him? Larry loved his bikes practically more than his drums! He would hate her, and he didn’t even know her! Maybe he would even have her thrown in jail and she’d miss the show! With these horrible thoughts overwhelming her, Christine burst into tears.
Larry was unmoved by what he perceived to be a typical female ploy to get out of a jam. “Erm, you’ve wrecked my favourite bike!” Larry’s voice was calm, his stare incredulous, his manner icy.
“Oh, Larry, I’m so sorry!!!! (sniffle sob) Believe me if I (sob) had (sob) any idea that it was YOUR bike (sob sob gasp).....I’ll do anything to make it up to you, I’m so sorry!!!!”
Christine was crying and shaking so violently, Larry couldn’t help but feel a bit sorry for her. “Listen, it’s OK...calm down....this really isn’t necessary....”
“But it IS necessary Larry!” As Christine lifted her face to look into his eyes, he was instantly struck by her beauty. Suddenly, it dawned on him that she knew who he was! He sincerely hoped she hadn’t done this on purpose just to get an autograph. Christine continued, “Those bikers over there were harassing me, I thought they were going to molest me, so I struck back the only way I knew how! I’m not a vandalous person, and I would never just do that to someone’s bike, ESPECIALLY NOT YOURS! U2 is my favourite band! I don’t know what I would do without the band, your music has changed my life! And to repay you like this? Larry I will pay for all the damage, or buy you a new bike...anything I can do, just say the word. Please don’t have me arrested! My first U2 show is tomorrow! Or if you have to have me arrested, please wait until after the show! I’m so sorry! You have NO IDEA how sorry I am!!!” Christine’s lip began to quiver, and tears rimmed her eyes again.
Larry had to admit, it was obvious that she was genuinely distressed. In fact, he was beginning to enjoy this dramatic display. She was pretty cute! Christine noticed as a dimple began to form on Larry’s left cheek, as he stared at the ground and scuffed the dirt with his boots.
“Erm.....don’t worry, I think I can cover the damages. It’ll be all right. It’s just cosmetic damage. Don’t worry y’rself.” Regaining some of her composure, Christine knew that she had to make this moment count, before it was too late. But how? He had just let her off the hook, and she didn’t want to leave, but she could hardly ask for his autograph now, that would be so shameless. Well, there was only one thing to do.
“Oh, Larry, that’s so sweet of you, but there MUST be something I can do! Listen, I came here to have breakfast. Have you eaten?” Larry shook his head and scuffed his feet some more. For some reason, his shyness was overwhelming him in a way he hadn’t experienced for some time. “No? Well then will you at least let me buy you breakfast? Or Coffee? Something? Anything?” Slowly, Larry looked up from the ground until his eyes were staring into hers, sky blue, searching, penetrating. Larry was wearing his simple uniform of white T shirt and blue jeans, with not hair out of place. She began to feel weak in her knees. But now was not the time for a ditzy girlie-fan display. She needed to be womanly, intelligent, insightful! And especially not interested in Larry’s looks! Christine had done her homework.
“All right” he said simply, and they walked into the diner together. Inside, Christine saw Larry’s jacket sitting on the bench of one of the windowside booths. Obviously he’d had a ringside view of the carnage! Christine winced, and sat down opposite Larry. They ordered a massive bacon, egg and pancake breakfast. Over the course of breakfast, and to keep herself from slipping up, Christine pretended she was a critic with a serious music magazine, and asked as many penetrating and insightful questions as she could about the band, the direction their music was taking and the tour. Larry was very much impressed, but he saw right through this facade. The mere fact that she was making the effort was turning him on though. Larry’s eyes wandered luxuriantly over her form, absorbing every detail. He hadn’t been romantically (or otherwise) involved with a woman since the big breakup many months ago. Maybe it was the heat, or the fresh air or the food...and definitely this girl...but whatever it was, it was all conspiring to make him giddy with lust and delight. This girl smashing up his bike was the best thing that had ever happened to him!
Christine for her part could barely contain herself, squirming in her seat and worrying about the inevitable moment when this dream must end. The most amazing part was that Larry himself didn’t seem to be in any hurry to leave. He was willing to give thoughtful answers to her questions about the Mothers of the Disappeared and Amnesty International, but he seemed to be much more interested in talking about trivial things, like food, movies and the weather, but most of all, about her! No detail of her life seemed to minute for Larry. And to top things off, he looked so pleased to discover that she was single! Surely it wasn’t possible that Larry MULLEN was actually INTERESTED in her? As they lingered over their coffee though, her doubts began to dissolve. The talking had stopped, replaced with wordless flirting...glances, fingers tapping in unison, “accidental” kicks under the table.
Christine had learned that Larry was staying in the motel next door, as he wanted to experience “a real slice of Americana”. His plan was to have breakfast and ride into San Diego. Now she was beginning to feel with greater and greater certainty, even though she dared not think about it, that his next destination would be his motel room, and not just to collect his overnight bag! Suddenly Larry broke the silence, asking the waitress for the bill. Then he looked back at her, his face sparkling with mischief.
“Erm, Christine....I’m just going over to my room, and then I’m going to sign out. Would you like to travel over to San Diego with me? Maybe you and your friend Kelli could show me around?” The gambling and pool side resort forgotten, Christine readily agreed. After paying the bill, Larry and Christine walked wordlessly out of the diner, across the parking lot, and over to Larry’s room. Silently, he unlocked the door and closed it behind them. There was a hint of sunlight streaming through the blinds, but the room was dim and dingy. The bed was unmade. Christine could smell Larry’s scent throughout the room, and he had not aired it out.
After surveying the room, she suddenly discovered that Larry was now standing only inches from her. She could hear his breathing, and her own heartbeat, but little else. Larry put a hand on her shoulder and she watched his full lips as he spoke, “Christine, I....this isn’t something I normally’s just that...” He couldn’t finish. She could hear his breathing quicken and feel his strong hands running through her hair. She watched his pale blue eyes reflecting what little sunlight fought it’s way through the gloom. How long his eyelashes were....“Don’t worry Larry....” she whispered softly, “I feel the same way.”
She could see the relief flooding through him, relaxing his face and making it look even more beautiful and innocent than it already was. And with this encouragement his lips were on hers, devouring them with the hunger of a starving man. She pulled away from him long enough to peel of his shirt, but he had pulled her close almost immediately. Between kisses their clothes were soon strewn across the room. She gasped with delight at his unspeakably perfect body, instantly regretting this slip up. But when she saw how pleased he was with her reaction, she realized that when the circumstances were right, Larry wanted to be loved by the right woman. Running her hands over his rock hard body, Christine thought she had died and gone to heaven.
As the heat of the desert penetrated their room, the sweat poured down their bodies as they began their second round of lovemaking. Sitting cross-legged on the bed, with Christine facing him in his lap, Larry realized he had found the love of his life. His soulmate. Tears filled his eyes as he buried his face in her neck, draping her long hair lovingly around his shoulders. “I love you...”he whispered. “I love you too!” she squeaked, knowing her dream had finally come true.
Larry and Christine rode into San Diego, arriving late in the evening at the astounded Kelli’s doorstep. Then, to her utter amazement, the three of them caught up with the rest of the band for dinner. The teasing was merciless.
“Lawrence if I were you, I wouldn’t want Christine to see feet like that!”
“Yeah, but Christine’s feet are even worse than mine! And as for your head Edge, you know what I’d bleedin’ do with that!” Larry looked sheepishly over at Christine, and when she made a pouty face, he smothered it with kisses. Then he grabbed her foot, and daintily removing the shoe, lifted her foot to his lips, to plant an enormous kiss on it, much to the howling delight of the rest of the band.
“Well Lawrence, if that isn’t true love, I don’t know what is.” Bono chortled with genuine delight.
Christine wanted more than anything to stay with Larry at the band’s hotel, but she couldn’t just leave her friend. This impressed Larry more than anything else, and after bidding farewell, he spent the night lying in bed and thinking about his future, and whether Christine would want to be a part of it.
The next day, Christine and Kelli spent the day touring around San Diego with the band, enjoying a particularly entertaining trip to the zoo (the first inspiration for Zoo TV!!!). At the soundcheck, Larry was so besotted with Christine he could barely play, but during the show, he was on fire.
“OK San Diego, we have a particular treat for ye tonight!” Bono addressed the cheering crowd, winking at Christine and Kelli, whose seats had been upgraded to the 2nd row (front row had already been taken by Propaganda subscribers!!).
“Our drummer, Larry Mullen Jr -” Bono was interrupted by an enormous screech from the female contingent, not unlike full Beatlemania.
“As I was saying....our drummer, Larry Mullen Jr. is going to sing a song! This is a truly amazing occasion folks!” More hysterical screaming. Larry waved to the crowd, and stepped up to the mic.
“Erm, thanks Bono....OK. It’s not often hat I do something like this, but the last two days have been pretty inspiring. And when I get inspired, I listen to a lot of Elvis. So....” Larry cleared his throat, and in a soft, deep Elvian voice crooned,
“Wise men say.....only fools rush iiiiinnnnn, but I can’t help falling in love wiiith you.....” After finishing the song, Larry stood directly in front of Christine, and sank to his knees. There was a gasp from the audience. “’s killing me to have to ask you this in front of all these people, so please be gentle....but I’ve got to know....would you ever consider making me the happiest man alive by marrying me? I can’t think of another woman on the planet I’d rather be with!” The urgency in his voice made it shaky. His face was the image of pure love, hope and anticipation. There was a long pause as the audience strained to hear what would happen next.
“SHE SAID YES!!!” Screamed Larry jumping through the air! SHE SAID YES!!!!!” And the only day that would make Larry even happier than this one, was the day he would marry his Goddess, placing a ring of white gold and pearls, stolen from the sea upon her finger for all eterntiy.
The End.
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Old 08-10-2001, 05:00 AM   #7
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Part VI: LarryMullen's_POPAngel

The Rhythm Section
It was shortly before the launch of the Zoo TV tour, and the band was busy recording some B-Sides and rehearsing in Dublin. One fine day, Larry was sitting on the couch in the studio at Windmill Lane. He was very bored and was idly scratching his feet, which reminded him of the time Edge told him he would not want feet like that on film. Larry laughed and remembered his cruel comeback, which got preserved for all time on the movie! Larry snickered and went into the reception room to look for some mail. To his great surprise there was only one letter and it was a letter to Edge! He could tell by the return address that it was a fan letter but how did the fan get the Windmill Lane address? That was strictly confidential! She must have been quite a fan and done a lot of research to have gotten that! But a letter to Edge? That was very unusual. Edge was over at the courthouse finalising his divorce and wouldn't be back until they had that interview with Hot Press magazine. In fact, no one was in the office yet! Larry Mulled it over and in the end couldn't stand the suspense. He opened the letter with a boyish grin. "I'll be a glorified messenger boy…" he thought.
He read the letter with amused interest. It was from a girl who was writing in secret on behalf of her friend April. Apparently this April was a humongous U2 fan, and the show in Detroit would be her first. He was especially interested to read that April worshipped the ground that he, Larry Mullen walked on, but Cindy was writing to Edge because he seemed like the most sympathetic member of the group, and maybe he would take pity on them talk Larry into meeting April for 5 minutes backstage after the show. Larry was very touched and impressed by this girl’s deviousness. Well, if you don’t ask, you don’t get! He would maybe take the girl up on her offer. (Larry was in a very good mood).
Suddenly Larry felt a sharp pain on the top of his head. It was the infamous Bono who moseyed into the office with black circles under his eyes. The sharp pain was one of Bono's huge hands slapping down on top of Larry's head. "OW!" said Larry. "Watch the hair!!"
"Sorry," Bono said, "but I was up with the baby all night. That girl really has her mother’s temper! Hey! What are you doing reading Edge's mail? You don't look like the Edge to me! That's the only mail he gets and you don't even have the decency to let him open it himself and he's so depressed that Aislinn doesn't love him any more and that's how you treat him!!!"
After that tirade Larry had to admit that it was rather insensitive but...what could he do? Larry decided to show Bono the letter. By the time the Edge had reached the office all three other band members had seen the letter and were avidly discussing which girl was the prettiest (Cindy had enclosed a picture of them together).
Edge was not amused. He was pleased to know that he still had fans who cared but obviously not a band that did! "LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYY" he cried sobbing into his friend's arms. "It's all over. snif snif. And gimme that letter!"
Edge was as usual the last person to read his own fan mail. The ardency of the letter did cheer him up however. The band decided to become more involved with their true fans right then and there. They decided to phone April and Cindy and ask them to come to Ireland and watch some rehearsals, see their old haunts and perhaps if they had time, attend their opening concert.
The next question was, who would telephone the girls? At first it was decided on Bono, but he was too overpowering and the girls were likely to faint. The Edge was too quiet and he was too likely to faint. After much discussion it was decided on Adam. This April also admired him enormously, and with his friendly demeanour, he could handle any situation.
*drrrrringallling alllling!!!*
"Who could that be? April asked rather annoyed that their pigout had been so rudely interrupted.
April picked up the phone. "Hello?".......There was a long pause and Cindy watched her friend's face turn from a healthy shade of peachy pink to a pasty white. April began to shake. Cindy thought perhaps one of April's relatives had died and she would have to spend the rest of the afternoon comforting her friend.
"What?? Is this a joke? How did you get my number? WHAT?….Well of COURSE we’d like to come! Yes, yes....Air Lingus....uh huh, ....Dublin international airport....well what if...Oh well alright then....Thanks.....Thanks a lot!!! See you then!!!!"
"What was that all about?!" Cindy shrieked. She heard all the references to Ireland and April surely wouldn't be smiling that hard -hard enough to make her face twitch- if one of her relatives had died!
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!" Wailed April. Cindy's eyes grew like saucers. Could this be true? April rarely got this exercised about things...except for…..nah, it was impossible. Stuff like that didn’t happen in real life.
"April, what in God's name is the matter!" Shaking and desperately trying to speak through a now dry mouth, April explained to Cindy that Adam Clayton himself had just called and invited them on Air Lingus to Dublin to watch rehearsals, hang out and then travel back on their private plane to attend their first concert!!! After April had explained this and reassured Cindy 8 million times that it was indeed true (and promising to worship Cindy forever for her brilliance, both girls agreed it was time to eat some serious ice cream!!!!
"Well, Adam are they coming?" Bono queried. He was gaining interest in the whole proceedings.
"Yes, if she can get the time off – and I’m sure that won’t be a problem - she assures me she will."
"Isn't leaving tomorrow kinda soon? That's not a hell of a lot of notice!"
"I know but we're all rather impetuous guys and none of us is getting along with our wives or girlfriends and whatever and surely we can get cheered up by having them over.”
"I know just what you're thinking Adam, how could you take advantage of these poor innocent girls!!" Edge interrupted.
"Oh, lighten up Edge!" They all chorused and Edge went off by his lonesome to buy some new clothes, not believing that he would have to start his love life from scratch again.
Cindy and April agreed that they both had a lot of packing to do. After consuming two large pizzas and two quarts of strawberry ice cream covered in miscellaneous sauces, the girls agreed to part until the next day when April would hire a Taxi to go to the airport, charged to her company’s account of course! Their flight was at 9:30 the next morning.
But first, April had to convince her company to let her go away indefinitely. She told them that she had to go to a funeral in Ireland and once she got there she would tell them she caught pneumonia and couldn't return until she was out of hospital.
April flew through the room at top speed packing for the big adventure. "Oh Laaaarrrrryyyyyy!" She squealed as tears of joy poured out of her eyes. "I’m finally going to meet Larry…..My Larry." She sighed. Adam, cool though he was, was instantly forgotten.
"Oh, April look at the green hills of IRELAND!! I wonder if all those dots might really be them!! This is a real dream come true!" April and Cindy couldn’t get out of the plane quickly enough when it landed. After collecting their luggage, and wandering into the arrivals area, they paused, not having any idea where to go. Suddenly behind her April felt a light tap on the shoulder. It was a mysterious looking fellow with a dark beard and glasses and wearing a huge hat so it was impossible to tell who the stranger was.
"Eh, wwellll...are, are you the two girls from Allen Park, Michigan?" A very Irish sounding voice queried. Cindy and April stiffened up. April felt the warmth and strength from the hand that was resting on her shoulder. -gulp-
"Wh-why yes we are! And silly as it may sound to the average hoy polloy on the street, we are waiting for the members of U2 to pick us up at any moment!!" April instantly regretted this outburst, watching Cindy turn a deep shade of crimson.
"Eh....Well strange as it may sound to the erm, hoy polloy of the street I'm Larry Mullen Jr. and I'm here to pick you up to go to Windmill Lane!" Larry muttered indignantly, upon which April proceeded to faint on the spot.
"Was it something I said?" Larry asked Cindy.
"I think it's just that you mentioned the fact that you are Larry!"
"Oh. Righ. Uh, oh."
By this time April had revived herself just as Larry had taken his dark glasses off and was looking into her face with deep concern embedded in his sky blue eyes. "Oh, Laaaary!" April managed.
"That’s my name. must be April!" Larry uttered. Cindy was beginning to see the early romance in this whole scenario but the corniness of it all was making her ill.
"You're in disguise!" April cooed in rapture.
"Well, eh, ah........yes! If I didn't come in disguise we'd be mobbed!"
"Where is Edge!!!!" Cindy screamed suddenly. After all, it was she who had written the winning letter in the first place and it was Edge she really wanted to see although granted it was exciting to see Larry. Larry and April's mood was shattered.
"Eh, Edge and the others are waiting at Windmill Lane. We felt it would be too risky to have them all attending. I'll take you there right now!" And they were off. Cindy and April were getting more and more nervous. April hadn't had a second to get nervous because Larry had appeared on the scene so quickly. Also she felt instantly comfortable with him and was no longer wary. Now it was time to worry about the other three.
Larry, in order to look inconspicuous, had driven to the airport in his own modest car. He even carried their bags. April was swept off her feet by his suaveness. Once they were all safely in the shelter of the car Larry removed his disguise. There he was in all his boyish godly splendour. April nearly wept in adoration and sexual tension! He was so perfect she thought she was going to die!!!
Their anticipation exploded when they finally got to the U2 graffiti covered Windmill Lane. Larry told the girls to go right in and that he was just going to park the car. Cindy couldn't believe that such a superstar would go and park his own car! The girls went into the reception area. They went up to the receptionist and said: "Hi! We're Cindy and April here to see Bono and Edge and Adam. We were told by Larry just to come on in."
The receptionist looked amused and pushed a button.
"The young ladies are here Bono!" The girls heard great thumping footsteps coming their way and they didn't dare look. They began to shake and their palms were getting sweaty!
"Hello, ladies!" Bono enunciated in his sexy drawl. The girls spun around. There they saw a sight the likes of which they had never seen before. His hair was loose and dangled in silky locks around his face. He was wearing a soft black button down cotton shirt unbuttoned at the neck and tucked into a fancy leather belt atop tight black leather pants. On his feet was a pair of black buckle boots much like the type he wore for the red rocks concert. His eyes, the most incredible sea blue, were piercing and very overpowering. Just to look at him had the girls wetting themselves with delight and lust. He was the very picture of manly sexuality.
"Hi." They meekly answered. Bono put on that smirk that made his dimples so apparent and sauntered over to the amazed girls. He offered each one an arm and offered to escort them into the private U2 chambers. (no not those chambers!) Bono knew what an effect he was having on those poor innocent girls and he was loving every second of it. As they were walking towards the main hang out room they heard something in the background.
"Hey, wait for me!" It was Larry. He was beginning to fall for this gorgeousApril with her streaming chestnut hair, doe eyes and ivory skin. He didn’t want Bono ruining his chances with her. Larry caught up but was making no impression because as usual Bono was chattering away and monopolizing April.
They finally got into the U2 chambers. There looking all sad and lonely was Edge. "Oh EEEEDDDGGEE!" Cindy wailed. Edge looked very surprised. She looked like she was about to cry so he automatically put out his leonine arms. Cindy fell into them.
"That ought to take care of them for awhile!" Bono laughed. "Please allow me to show you around Windmill Lane and then the rest of Dublin!" Bono charmed away to April.
"Eh, if you don't mind I think that the person who picks her up at the airport gets the pleasure of showing her around!" Larry interjected.
"Nonsense Lawrence!" Bono dismissed Larry's efforts and swept April off to the recording studio, dimples mirthfully playing on his face. The recording studio was dark and not only that, it was soundproof.
"This is where we do the vast majority of our creating." He intoned in a low, husky voice. "I have been inspired so many times in this beauty and sorrow..." He began to sway towards the microphone and his guitar. April could tell he was about to sing and she felt mounting fear and anticipation.
".....And so she woke up, woke up from where she was lying still....said I, I've got to do something about where we're going...." his words were so pained, he seemed terribly lonely, deriving all his comfort from his own words and voice. He was such a beautiful sight and April could feel a burning in her throat and tears in her eyes. Bono got more and more swept up in the emotions and he fell on his knees in front of her pleading the lyrics.
"She runs through the streets, with eyes painted red, under a black belly of cloud in the through a doorway she brings me white gold and pearls stolen from the sea she is raging, she is raging and a storm blows up in her eyes...." CRASH!!!! Larry had marched over to the drum kit and began thumping and crashing his drums for all they were worth. He was taking out his frustrations and trying to get noticed. Actually he was so furious at this point that he didn't even care if he was noticed. WHY did Bono always have to upstage everyone?? Larry finished his tumultuous solo with a thunderous crash. He then proceeded to kick the drum set and storm out.
Bono looked very amused. "Oh, I'd say Larry's a bit on the sensitive side!" Bono chortled.
Suddenly, another door opened, and in walked Adam Clayton, holding a pot of tea and wearing a robe and slippers.
“What was all that about? Oh! Hello, you must be April. I’m Adam Clayton!” Adam held out his hand and smiled pleasantly at April. She felt her knees go weak. She didn’t know how much more of this attention from U2 her system could take without a total meltdown. At this point, U2 minus Larry Mullen proceeded to show April and Cindy around Dublin.
The week they were spending with their demigods was coming to an unwelcomingly near end. It had been unspeakably exciting, as they got sneak previews of all the Zoo TV songs, stage set, etc. But most of all, April spent lots of time with Adam and Larry, watching their own rehearsals, going out to eat, hanging out at their houses. Bono was a big flirt, but ultimately he spent his free time with Alison. Edge had thrown himself into his work to get over the pain of separation, often pulling all nighters to tinker with his equipment (not THAT equipment!!!). Cindy didn’t want to be in the way, so she decided to go backpacking through the country, to return the day before they were to leave for the States. Adam and Larry however, were swinging bachelors with lots of free time, and both enormously attracted to April, but in different ways. For his part, Adam found her to be incredibly sexy, but most of all, he had completely stopped thinking of her as a fan, he had found a very cool friend for life. He could see their friendship developing in such a way that they could be really good buddies, who had awesome sex occasionally. He would have to suggest this to her when he was feeling braver…
Larry’s feelings for April on the other hand, were fare more pure, and passionate. He had fallen head over heels in love, with the blind ardency of a young Romeo. She filled his thoughts at every waking moment. It was totally unlike him to fall for a fan this way, he barely knew her, and who knew what her motives really were. At this point, he didn’t even care. He just couldn’t help himself. He took every opportunity to sit beside April in restaurants, open doors for her, take her out for rides on his bike, out to clubs…and any excuse to “accidentally” bump (legs, arms, whole body) into her. When she had complimented him on his dog tags and hat, they became a permanent fixture of his wardrobe. He even *gasp* lost his cool on a number of occasions, blushing, tripping over his own tongue and shuffling his feet, looking at her under shy eyelashes. He was the object of merciless torment by the whole band, but he didn’t care. He was a man possessed. The one thing he had not been able to do, was kiss her, or tell her how he felt. The fear of rejection was too overwhelming. He couldn’t tell how she felt about him, and he wasn’t going to risk hurting the friendship by asking. Oh, why was she so inscrutable?!! If only he knew that every ounce of his adoration was returned 10 fold, but that April was hiding her affection on purpose, for fear of scaring him off!
It was April’s last night, and she sat in the studio at Windmill Lane, watching Adam and Larry rehearsing a variety of sequences together. They were preparing a number of rhythmic divertissements for extended versions of the songs live. April sat quietly in a huge, deep, padded armchair in the corner, hidden by smoke and dim light. She barely listened to what they were playing, she was too busy branding the image of her beloved Larry into her mind forever. All three of them had been polishing up a number of bottles of very good wine, and were quite tipsy.
When they came to a suitable “take 5” moment, Adam smiled gently at April and teased, “Hey! What’s your problem? Do we suck that bad? Why are you looking so down in the mouth?” Suddenly, pril began to cry. “Hey! Hey! What’s wrong?” Adam put down his bass and rushed over to April, his eyes peering at her carefully from behind his glasses, the very picture of concern. He began to run his hands through her hair, and then massaging the back of her neck.
“It’s nearly over!! Sob! I don’t want to go back! I might never see you again!!” April wailed uncontrollably. Larry sat quietly behind his drums, wondering what to do. He couldn’t bear the sound of her crying.
“Sweetie, it’s NOT over!!! You can come to all the shows you want, we love having you around! You’re going to be stuck with us hanging around YOU when the tour’s over!” Adam’s merry eyes crinkled up with his cheerful smile. April looked at him through red-rimmed eyes, her lip quivering. This was too much for Adam to bear. “Oh, come here. Let’s have a cuddle.” Adam lifted April out of her chair, sat in it, and pulled her back into his lap. She leaned against his chest, tilting her head onto his shoulder. He rubbed his cheek against hers, and began to kiss her neck….
The sudden silence prompted Larry to crane over the cymbals to see what was actually going on. To his astonishment, Adam was whispering sweet nothings into her ear! Between the whispering, and the slurpy-smacky sounds of lips kissing, Larry began to boil over with jealousy, but he had to admit, this was beginning to turn him on. He clambered out from behind his drums and marched straight over to April, crouching in front of the chair at her feet, gazing longingly up at her with his full lips turned down into a pout. He couldn’t stand the sexual tension or the emotional agony for one more second, and there was no way he was going to blow what might be his last opportunity to win April’s heart.
Mustering all his courage, Larry whispered in a quivering voice, “Are ye gonna make me die of jealousy my one and only Angel?” She swung around to face him, her eyes out of focus, lost in the pale blue pools. Before she could respond, Larry gently placed his head in her lap, clutching onto one of her hands. April ran her fingers through his hair, stroking his cheek. “Why, Larry! I ….” Her voice faded as he took her hand in his, turned it over and kissed her palm, the inside of her wrist and then slowly, and sensuously made his way up her arm, until he reached her neck. Cupping her hair in his hands, he inhaled her scent deeply, kissing and burying his face in the tendrils of hair.
April swallowed, not daring to believe what was happening. It was as though Adam and Larry were completely unaware of each other’s presence, each focussing so intently on April. Adam’s hands were wrapped around her from behind, stroking her thighs and belly while he kissed the back of her neck and nibbled on her ear. Larry’s hands framed her face, as he kissed her lips with a yearning urgency. Adam and Larry, the world’s most perfect rhythm section, had April in a wave of pleasure overload to the point where she was ready to collapse!!!
Adam of course knew how strongly Larry felt about her, and that he would soon snap out of his reverie and realise what was happening. Much as he would have dug it, Adam knew Larry would never want to share her with him in a full ménage. Edge and Bono might go for it maybe, but not Larry. Adam had to remove himself from this situation gracefully, without interrupting the love in. With great strength, Adam slowly stood, lifting and pushing her against Larry. She wrapped her arms and legs around Larry, and was soon hanging on to him, as Adam slipped out of the chair and tiptoed out of the room. Without even noticing his absence, Larry turned around, and sat in the chair where Adam had been, with April in his lap. Her hair cascaded down onto his shoulders as she stared into his eyes. As she wordlessly undressed him, admiring the dog tags which glistened on his bare chest, she took great care to stroke every sinew in his entire body. How could something so hard, be so soft at the same time?
As Larry and April lay together in whispers and in moans, they knew that their love would shine like a burning star until the end of the world. It was no secret at all.
The End
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Old 08-10-2001, 05:01 AM   #8
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Part VII: OliveU2cm

Another Time, Another Place
It was late summer, and the dawn of a new school year was just breaking. Carrie had decided to defy the wishes of her parents, and travel to Dublin Ireland for her last year of high school. Carrie needed a change and she felt that exposure to a new country and culture could only benefit her education. Yeah, that was it, it was all about education! Why hadn’t she thought of this before? Within a week of her arrival, she had her own little apartment, a part time job in a popular chip wagon, and although she had met a couple of new friends at work, she was hoping that Julie would come and visit her to help ease the homesickness. Now if only she could find herself a scrumptious Irish boyfriend, her life would be made!
"Oh, Paul what am I going to do???" Wailed Larry as he sat in his bedroom with Paul after the rest of the band had gone home from rehearsal.
"Do about what Larry?" Paul asked absent-mindedly, staring at the group of giggling girls outside, who were drying off after having been hosed down a mere half hour ago. He was used to Larry’s constant state of sadness and irritability lately. Paul decided it was just a phase, but he didn’t recall going through such a phase a year ago. He hadn't seen Larry smile in ages. It was the last night before their last year of high school and Paul was glad they had this band, even if it went nowhere, because he never would have been friends with Larry if it weren't for U2. Paul was like an older brother for Larry, and he enjoyed mentoring him. As for Larry, for such a handsome and talented guy, he was really very shy and he didn't have any desire to be part of a clique at school. Nothing bugged him more than phoniness, and it seemed that in high school, phoniness was rampant. Unsolicited female attention especially annoyed him. But lately, Larry was experiencing a problem of a different sort.
"Do about this new situation, Paul, you great IIIIdgiott!" Larry rarely lost his temper but when he did Paul took notice.
"Oh, you mean that girl in the apartment across from my petrol station. Well, yes I did get to talk to her." Paul’s mischievous smile suddenly beamed out of his face. He had seen Larry’s blue eyes sparkle the day that girl came to buy a drink at the station where Paul was a petrol pump attendant. Paul's eyes had done a fair bit of gleaming themselves. She was gorgeous. Clearly not Irish, she had some sort of Mediterranean flair, perhaps Italian. Larry, who worked in the post office a few blocks away had come over on his lunch break that day to hang out with Paul and discuss some new songs. They had noticed a taxi pulling up to a duplex across the street and SHE had proceeded to move into the house. Larry would have been far too shy to speak to her but he had to find out if she was going to be going to Mount Temple, just 15 minutes by bus away. Larry had begged Paul to ask her. Both were tongue tied when the girl had bought her drink that day, but Paul had promised to speak to her the first opportunity he had after that.
"WHAT!!!!??? Why didn't you tell me that ages ago?! What did she say? Well? Well? Well?" Larry was just as frantic as Paul had predicted he'd be. Paul was delighted. He took his sweet time in telling Larry the news.
"Well, I wanted to save you the surprise until later. It is after all such an interesting story!"
"It is?" Larry looked like he was going to faint. Paul, with his dimples emerging, watched as Larry whitened slightly.
"Why, Lawrence! You’re not looking very well, if it upsets you this much that I spoke to her I won't assault your ears with all the information that I found out about her."
"Oh NO!!!!! Go ahead Paul, tell all." Larry crossed his legs under him on the bed and began to dig into the huge bag of chips on his lap. That boy could eat anything he wanted and always remained skinny and acne free. It drove Paul crazy.
"Well, erm....first of all, the girl you like is called Carrie-"
"Carrie? *SIGH* what a beautiful name!" Larry smiled for the first time in a long time, crumbs all over his face, his bright blue eyes round and sparkling but starting to mist over.
"What's her last name? Is she going to Mount Temple? Where's she from?"
"If you'd shut up long enough I'll tell you! Her name is Carrie Murgo, and she’s taking her last year of high school at Mt. Temple. She’s from near Boston, a place called Swansea.”
“Ooh, that sounds posh.” Larry interrupted. Paul sighed.
“Not only this, but you’re almost in luck! It doesn’t seem that she’s attached in any way.”
"Murgo…She’ll have her locker really close to me!!” Larry beamed in rapture. “But what do you mean, almost in luck?"
"Well, Adam was with me when we talked to her, and he was checking her out. I think you may have some competition there, Lardence. Yer gonna have to make your move pretty quickly!”
Oh, that was just typical. The MINUTE Larry had his eye on someone, either Adam or Paul had to interfere. His only friend and ally in all this was the forever virginal Dave Evans. That night Larry thought about Carrie and how exotic it was that she was from He'd have to get to her before Adam...but how? Women loved Adam’s sense of humour, his total lack of inhibitions. He wondered if he'd ever get up the nerve to ask her to the welcome back dance that took place a couple of weeks after school started. Adam felt these things were beneath him, he was way too cool for a school dance. This was his only chance. Larry was plotting and scheming so hard he hardly got a wink of sleep all night.
Meanwhile, Carrie lay in bed remembering what had happened to her that day. She had been walking back to her apartment that day with tons of groceries to supply the new apartment. She was struggling with her bags when all of a sudden out of the blue came the most charismatic looking youth she had ever seen rushing across the street from the gas station. He had glowing blue eyes, and an intelligent sexy face with soft hair falling into it. He smelled out of this world. He had strong, warm hands. He was in his uniform and completely ignoring the station manager's cries of "Hewson! Get back here! Your break isn't for 5 minutes!!!" Following him at a much less rapid pace was a blonde with a huge, enormous bush of a hairdo, an afghan coat, beads and "all the gear".
"Erm, excuse me, but I've seen you around and I couldn’t help noticing that you were having some difficulty here. Would you like us to help you with your stuff?” Chivalry was very much alive still in Ireland.
“Oh! Why, thank you, that would be great!” Carrie stood with her mouth agape, watching them effortlessly moving her groceries into the kitchen.
“Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Paul Hewson, my friends call me Bono, and this is my friend Adam Clayton.” Adam smiled nonchalantly and held out his hand. “Pleased to make your acquaintance….” Something about this boy intrigued Carrie, but she couldn’t pinpoint what it was.
She invited them to stay for tea and found out all about their school, band and friends. She had agreed to have lunch with them the next day and they would meet at the front of the school in the morning to compare schedules. Carrie wondered if there were any more good looking and charming guys where these came from! In a way she didn’t care, this Adam was so intelligent, funny and charming! And not bad looking to boot! Who else could carry off a hairdo like that? She’d certainly never seen anything like it back home…
The next morning Carrie made the short bus ride to Mount Temple. She didn't know that also on the bus was one Larry Mullen, who sat shyly to one side and looked at Carrie from the corners of his eyes as she boarded the bus. Carrie was extremely nervous and the last thing she was doing was looking at who was on the bus. There was a slight breeze and Larry watched Carrie's thick, wavy hair wafted around her shoulders. He watched her brown eyes sparkling and listened to the tinkling of her voice as she asked the bus driver for directions. His Indian Summer Sky eyes drank her form in and realized that a treasure such as she could never be interested in someone like him.
They soon arrived at the school. Carrie picked up her schedule and waited in the yard under a huge tree. Her patience was rewarded when a group of handsome young men came striding in their direction, lead by the ravishing Paul Hewson.
"Hello, Carrie! Welcome to Mt. Temple! But don't ye look gorgeous this mornin'. What a day for a daydream!" It was statements such as these that made Carrie want to swoon. Larry rolled his eyes. He hated the way Paul was always dressing up his statements with such panache. It was the same with his performances. They were always over done and you had to look through all the trimmings to get the important grains of truth.
"Oh, ah thanks Paul…um Bono!" Giggled Carrie. As Paul began to chatter on, her eyes couldn’t help wandering over to one boy in the group who was a young and absurdly handsome blonde youth by the name of Larry Mullen. Their eyes locked at once. Larry saw his chance and took it, interrupting Paul right in the middle of his sentence.
"Erm,...hello there, my name is Larry Mullen…..Jr." Larry addressed this sentence nervously to Carrie while ignoring the others.
“Jr. That’s for sure! He’s only 17.” Paul laughed. Larry reddened and shook slightly with the annoyance and embarrassment.
“Oh, lighten up Lawrence! Anyway…I should have made some introductions. Carrie, these are my fellow band members, Larry, Dave Evans and you remember Adam? Hey….where did Adam go?”
“Adam went for coffee.” Dave answered shyly, shaking Carrie’s hand and staring at her shyly out of his soft green eyes.
Carrie felt instantly at home. This was just too good to be true. She only wished Adam were there, she wanted to see him again.
“Hi, I’m Carrie. Nice to meet you all.” Paul turned to Dave to talk about Adam and what his latest shenanigans would be this year, and as Carrie strained to hear what they were saying, Larry took her aside to try to talk to her. He was very young, but Carrie had to admit, he sure was adorable! What a cute, innocent, childlike face he had! Yet how totally sexy he was, with his tight blue jeans, white t-shirt and floppy blond hair. MMMMM!
Soon the bell rang. It turned out that they all shared the same homeroom, English lit, so they walked in to class together. The excited chatter in the room was suddenly interrupted by the morning announcements.
"Good morning MT! Welcome back for what is sure to be the best school year yet, yeah? Of course to open the year with a bang we have the DANCE! This Friday! It starts at 7:00 and will feature DJ Dave Fanning. We’ll have tonnes of refreshments, so put on your dancing shoes and be there or be square! Price is 5 punts a couple, 7 punts for a group of 6 and 3 punts for each single. See ya there!" Larry's heart fluttered nervously. If he wanted to go with Carrie, he would have to ask soon.
At lunch most of Lipton Village and Carrie sat together at a table in the cafeteria. All were abuzz with talk of the summer, their teachers, each other, the bands and the dance. Suddenly the ever thrifty Adam spoke up.
"Hey guys, maybe we should go in groups of 6 and save a ton of money!" Larry’s eyes lit up. He owed some money on his drums, and he would be able to make the payment and now perhaps he'd even have money to take Carrie out later. But what was Adam doing going to one of the school dances? This was very unexpected and inconvenient.
"That's a brilliant idea. Let's all go in a group, ya?" Bono answered. It had been decided. Carrie's face fell. She had hoped to go alone with Adam, he was so intriguing, and she thought she felt a spark there. Hmmm. She would have to play this by ear and make the best of things.
The first week had gone by with lightning speed. Carrie had spent as much time with Adam as she possibly could. It was a challenge though, because he was in the process of managing U2, and skipping a lot of classes as a result. He was so mature, so worldly, so hip to the music biz. Carrie never ceased to be impressed with him, much to the annoyance of Larry, who was still considered the baby of the group. Everything he seemed to say was met with a kind of pitying look, the kind you give a child when he says something very cute and pathetic.
And so, Larry pined for Carrie, and Carrie pined for Adam. For his part, Adam thought Carrie was one hot babe, but he was in the music business now, and didn’t want to be tied down to one girl. He could tell she wanted to find a boyfriend, and he didn’t want to lead her on. Furthermore, he knew how Larry felt about her, and just didn’t feel right going any further with her. At least, not for the time being.
That morning of the dance, they sat in their English lit class, discussing Dracula. Their kindly but bumbling teacher, Mr. Collins rambled on….
“And Dracula! He was a figure that represented many things...The Victorian era was so prudish that there was a prevalence of pornography! Does anyone remember what forms a vampire can take when not a person? (long silence) Carrie! We haven’t heard from you for awhile...” Carrie jumped. She was too busy thinking about important matters such as the fact that Paul had got back together that week with Alison Stewart, and the dance that night, and whether she was now more interested in Adam or Larry now that Paul was out of the picture.

“Well, ah....”Carrie hadn’t even heard the question. Larry’s body stiffened with anticipation to hear the words his beloved would speak. Carrie gulped a couple of times. Larry could sense that she hadn’t been listening. Larry thought. He quickly put up his hand.
“Why, Larry! You never put up your hand! Do you have an answer for me?” Larry nodded eagerly, eyes shining.
“Erm, yes actually. A vampire can be mist and ah, uh, rats and ehm, ah , BATS!!!” Mr. Collins’ eyebrows raised bemusedly.
“Why yes Larry that’s correct. Very good.” Mr. Collins had completely forgotten about Carrie. Carrie however had felt very grateful to Larry for having covered her ass as it were. Carrie turned around and mouthed *Thanks, Larry!* Larry turned a deep shade of pink and stared at the floor. This was turning out to be a beautiful day!
Larry went home that afternoon and shut himself in the basement with his drum kit and stereo and put on “Bohemian Rhapsody’. As of late, U2 were as a principle totally against decadent music of this sort, so this was Larry’s guilty little secret from the others…that and he loved that country music! Having a Queen single was not a very U2 thing to do. Although they had been doing Thin Lizzy and Bay City Rollers covers, Paul had started to get into this whole Punk mentality, listening to Patti Smith and the Ramones, and Larry would have died of embarrassment if Paul had found out. He might even kick him out of his own band! You could never be too careful.
Larry proceeded to bash all of his nervous energy into the drums, envisioning a screaming crowd, and most of all Carrie throwing herself at the foot of the stage. Larry was making so much noise he couldn’t believe how much power he had in music. Why didn’t he posses this power with Carrie? What did Adam have that he didn’t? He mused this as he sang the last line ever so softly...”Anyway the wind bloooowss...” Between this display, and his emotional angst, Larry passed out on the couch in an exhausted slumber beside his faithful companion, his drums.
That evening, Carrie decided to take the bus to the dance. She knew that the busses would stop running by the time the dance finished but had every intention of going home with someone else via a different mode of transport! The lads meanwhile had piled into Dave's 1971 Volkswagen bug and headed to the school. They were dressed in their very best outfits. Best didn't necessarily mean expensive, it meant what they looked best in. Paul wore extremely tight black jeans, a white Irish sweater and his suede and lambswool jacket. His hair fell in thick alluring locks into his deep, unearthly ocean-blue eyes. Dave wore black jeans as well that flattered his adorable bottom. He wore a dark smoky blue crew neck cotton sweater that beautifully set off his emerald eyes with their black boarders. His hair glistened in its blue-black sheen. Larry was of course wearing blue jeans, a white t-shirt and a jean jacket. And Adam, a very cool velvet paisley suit and platform boots. Adam was the picture of self-assurance and exuded confidence that the babes would dig him in this outfit.
By the time Carrie reached the school, she could hear the blasting of music and there were little clumps of people outside the school haloed in the dark by the light of the inside of the school behind them. She soon noticed the group she was looking for right by the door leaning on Dave's car. Dave was right in the process of promising rides to numerous people. Dave sighed. Why did he always have to be the taxi driver at these events?
The minute Paul caught sight of Carrie, he rushed over and put his arm around her. "Sure'n your the fairest party girl I've ever come across!" Larry wanted to rush over and scoop Carrie away protectively before she had time to answer. Carrie turned a pinker shade of strawberry and giggled helplessly, cursing herself for her display of adoration. For someone with a girlfriend, this Paul was the hugest and most effective flirt she had ever met. The crowd hurried in to the dance, which was just beginning to heat up. Dave Fanning stepped up to the microphone.
"Hey! Have ye no homes to go to for God's sake?" The crowd roared.
"Right! Well, let's get things going ya?...this is an Eddy Cochrane song, C'mon Everybody!"
The crowd cheered again and people began dancing up a storm. Paul loved this song and instantly began singing and dancing with Carrie in typical Bono fashion. Dave looked on sadly. No one wanted to dance with him as he had predicted. Adam sat beside his friend to console him. No one was dancing with him either. Suddenly in walked Alison Stewart dressed in a ruby red dress. She looked at Paul and Carrie and smiled at them. Paul caught sight of her, excused himself and rushed over to his on again girlfriend. Carrie looked at them sadly. How she wished she could have such an enduring love as this. She looked over at Adam, and wondered if she should ask him to dance. Did women ask men to dance at this school?
Larry meanwhile decided that it was now or never. He swallowed deeply and began walking in Carrie's direction deciding he was going to ask her to dance. If he could dance in his own bedroom, then why not at school? After all, Dave Evans, who fancied himself the incarnation of Sly from the Family Stone, had himself given him lessons. Dave’s sister Jill had told him he was a passable dancer, so enough of this torture was enough. If Carrie rejected him he would give up for good. He had to know. He had to try! Larry took 2 steps when suddenly Dave Fanning spoke up.
"Well now! Any dance would not be a dance with out a little contribution from our boys in U2 no?" A roar from the crowd. Uh, oh. Larry stood stock still. Did this mean he'd have to play for Carrie? Perhaps that was better than dancing with her but what if he screwed up? Paul walked up to the microphone.
"Ehm...we didn't have anything planned Dave!"
"Oh, well that's OK Bono, after all you guys are going to be the best live band in the world so I'm sure ye can come up with something...just one number lads, OK?" Paul agreed with a smile. Dave, Larry and Adam walked up to the stage and grabbed their instruments, which had been carefully hidden by Dave Fanning behind a curtain.
"Turn down the lights, we feel embarrassed..." Paul murmured with a grin. That Paul Hewson was so cute! Carrie sighed in rapture. The band played 11 O'Clock Tick Tock and then Paul said, "And now for a musical interlude by our drummer, the founder of this band, LARRY MULLEN JR.!!!!" Whereupon he collapsed with laughter. He knew there was no way Larry would sing live, least of all in front of Carrie. He couldn’t wait to see how this turned out. Adam rolled his eyes, and went outside for a smoke. This was just too uncool for him. Larry climbed out from his drum kit and walked up to Paul. He had seen Carrie smiling at him as he played.
"PAUL!!" Larry hissed.
"Me dear Lawrence, me voice is botherin' me and wouldn't it be great if you sang to yer beloved?"
"No it would not be great Paul!!! How could you!!!" Paul ignored this and holding back his mirth announced to the crowd, "Larry is going to do a song for all of us as our encore!!" The room erupted in applause. That reclusive Larry Mullen was going to do a solo without the rest of the band? Paul and Dave got off stage and waited at the foot of it while Larry cleared his throat. Well, it was all over now, might as well get it over with. Larry, who had often noodled on his acoustic guitar at home, picked up Dave’s guitar, and cursing the day he was born, cleared his throat and strummed his guitar. He then muttered inaudibly “This is a Neil Diamond Song….”
Where it began, I can't begin to know when
But then I know it's growing strong
Oh, wasn't the spring, whooo
And spring became the summer
Who'd believe you'd come along
Hands, touching hands, reaching out
Touching me, touching you
Oh, sweet Caroline
Good times never seem so good
I've been inclined to believe it never would
And now I, I look at the night, whooo
And it don't seem so lonely
We fill it up with only two, oh
And when I hurt
Hurting runs off my shoulder
How can I hurt when holding you
Oh, one, touching one, reaching out
Touching me, touching you
Oh, sweet Caroline
Good times never seem so good
Oh I've been inclined to believe it never would
Ohhh, sweet Caroline, good times never seem so good
Carrie blushed with pride, excitement and new found affection. Was she so blinded by her devotion to Adam that she had missed something? After the song was over Larry put his guitar down and rushed off stage and into the protective crowd of his friends. Needless to say, he wasn't speaking to the flabbergasted Paul Hewson! Dave Fanning returned to the stage and pronounced,
"Well, all right!!! Well, Larry you really should sing more often!" And with that he proceeded to play "Stand By Me". Larry, consumed with adoration for the glowing Carrie, overcame his embarrassment and pushed through the throng of dancing couples to Carrie.
"Ehm....would you like to dance?" Larry whispered hoarsely. Carrie's dewy eyes glistened into his reflective blue pools. So innocent and so hopeful were those eyes of his. Carrie was a flurry of confused emotions. She thought Adam was into her but Larry had displayed his feelings in front of the whole school. Right at this moment Carrie wanted to be with Larry more than anyone in the world.
"Oh yes Larry, I'd love to." And she wrapped her arms around him. Larry's face beamed. This was a miracle. This was more amazing and better than he ever could have imagined! Sweet Caroline had to be their song. He couldn't wait to play it for her again. He would cherish singing his heart out for her at any opportunity. Larry closed his eyes and rested his cheek in her soft hair. He wanted to absorb this and remember it forever. He wanted the moment never to end. He hoped she could feel the same way about him that he did about her. Meanwhile Paul watched with satisfaction. He was glad that something finally seemed to be working out for Larry. Finally the end of the evening came and everyone was preparing to go home.
There was a mad rush to get into Dave's tiny car as Aislinn, Paul, Ali, Adam and Larry all fought for space. This left Carrie, who was rideless, much to Larry's distress. The problem was that Dave and Larry had promised all these people rides well in advance of Carrie’s arrival. It was getting cold and it looked like rain. Carrie dug her hands deeper into her pockets. She was cold and she did not like the idea of going home all alone in the dark, but she had too much pride to say anything. She was acutely embarrassed at having assumed there would be a ride for her, when there was not.
Of course, Larry eagerly offered to walk Carrie home, but feeling embarrassed at being the centre of attention and causing a fuss, Carrie refused. "Oh, No. I'll be fine...." Larry took this as rejection. "You're sure? I don’t mind…REALLY!”
Paul interjected, "Or, Ali and I could walk home together and you can get in the car, Carrie!" Ali nodded vigorously, feeling guilty about Carrie's predicament. Carrie refused again politely. "No, that's OK. I'll walk. It's not too far."
"But it's freezing and it's going to rain! It's 5 minutes from my house but probably an hour by foot to your apartment!" Paul protested as he, Larry, Dave and Adam looked worried.
"I'll be FINE!" Asserted Carrie. "You guys go on. I'll see you later!"
"Will you at least take my jacket?" Larry pleaded.
"Don't worry! Thanks anyway! Bye!" And Carrie turned around quickly so they wouldn't see her tears. Dave drove away, feeling dreadful, as did Larry. Carrie walked slowly dragging her feet and sobbing into the darkness, the highs of earlier that evening crashing down like the rain all around her. Why did Adam pay so little attention to her that night? Was he not interested in her after all? Why did Paul have to be taken? Why didn't she just let Larry walk her home? She desperately wanted him with her. Perhaps he didn't like her enough to insist after all. It began to drizzle and Carrie shivered. She wondered if there were anywhere she could take shelter.
Meanwhile Larry and Adam were arguing furiously as Dave dropped Larry at his house.
"Larry! How could you let the love of your life slip through your fingers like that you idiot!"
"Probably because you're the love of her life and she didn't want me to go with her!"
"Of course she did! Larry, don’t you know anything about women? You didn't try hard enough!! I know a little bit about women, and they want you to convince them! They want you to go back for them! Believe me, I see the beauty of Carrie, but I don’t think I’m the right person for her right now. You definitely are!! Finish what you did earlier! Go and get her before it’s too late!”
With these inspiring words in his head, and the rain driving down, Larry borrowed his father’s car and after stuffing it with blankets and towels, drove off into the night. Meanwhile Carrie couldn’t find any shelter except under a group of trees. She was shivering and numb. She had never felt more miserable in her life. Larry tore down the route that would eventually lead him to her. There was no moon and it was raining so hard he couldn't see two feet in front of him. There was also a howling wind. Carrie sat on a large rock under a bulky tree with the rain whipping her face. She had gone beyond cold and shivering to a practically hypothermic state. She was beginning to wish she were dead.
Larry squinted through he sheets of rain that were throttling the windshield. There was only the faintest glow being produced by is headlights. Suddenly, to his right there appeared a small glowing form. Larry slowed down and sure enough, curled up in a ball shaking uncontrollably was Carrie. Larry threw open the door and armed with several blankets scooped Carrie into his arms, wrapping her up protectively. Carrie at first couldn't see who it was but she was so grateful to the anonymous pair of warm arms that she snuggled in.
Dripping wet, Larry gently placed Carrie in the front seat beside him. Then he ran to his side and slammed the door. He then rubbed her vigorously with the towels forcing the blood to flow through her. After he was satisfied that she was dry he wrapped her from head to foot in blankets. Carrie had more or less come to and the feeling she had inside her when she realised it was Larry defied description. The thought that it was Larry who saved her warmed her more than the blankets ever could. Larry's pupils had considerably enlarged in the darkness and his eyes looked more black than blue. His blond hair was soaking and matted in his face. His shirt was wet (and therefore see through!) but none the less warm. Larry was still cradling her in his arms when she tried to speak but nothing came out. A few warm tears of happiness did manage to escape her eyes. Larry ran his gentle fingers through her thick, soaking locks and Carrie rested her head on his chest, listening to his powerful heartbeat.
"I'm so sorry for everything!" Larry whispered in despair, longing to hold her like this forever.
"Don't ever be sorry! You'll never know how glad I am that you came to get me!" Carrie cried hoarsely. How she wanted to get up the nerve to tell him how she really felt about him.
"Carrie, I would stand by you through anything and I always will. I love you." Larry's eyes were an indigo blaze. He had to tell her what had been gnawing at his very being from the first moment he met her. A rush of ecstasy careened through her heart, making her feel faint. These were the magic words she had longed to hear.
"Oh, Larry!" She squeaked. "I love you too!" Carrie threw her arms around his neck and squeezed with all her might. Larry couldn't believe that this was finally happening. Carrie loosened her grip enough to stare into those enormous, beautiful eyes. Lost together, they inched closer, trancelike until his lips met hers. His lips were so soft and so warm, Carrie knew she could never get enough of them. Suddenly, they both knew what would happen next. Larry spread the damp blankets out for her to lie on, and wordlessly, and with shaking hands, they caressed, kissed and explored every inch of each other’s bodies with each pleasurable discovery making their appetites for each other more insatiable. As the rain galloped like wild horses over the roof, the lightening cut the gloom, painting their forms silver, and the thunder drowned out their cries of delight.
One love, one life, one need in the night. Everlasting love.
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Old 08-10-2001, 05:44 AM   #9
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Geez, I'm always smiling so hard when I'm reading these stories. That was a great idea AM and Jess, you are a genius!!! I printed them out and THANK GOD I'm gonna have a night all alone, by myself and I'm gonna just cuddle up on my sofa with a glass of rose wine and read them while listening to U2. OHMYGODICANTWAIT!!

"A giraffe. Why? 'Cos then you'd meet other giraffes." - Adam
"I believe in love, love and money! I believe in poetry, electricity, cheap cosmetics. I believe in the sky over my head, and the silver shoes beneath my feet. I have a vision! I have a vision! Television!" - The Mirrorball Man
"My real name is Johnny Carson, but I just didn't think that would get me on the show." - Edge in 1981
"I sometimes get the odd twinge that I wouldn't mind playing lead guitar, just like a couple of notes, but that's about as near as I would want to get to the front." - Larry
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Old 08-10-2001, 07:43 AM   #10
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Old 08-10-2001, 07:53 AM   #11
love, blood, life
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I thought this was about AM's top fav PLEBA ladies or sumthin!!!!!!!!

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Old 08-10-2001, 09:29 AM   #12
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WOW! Thanks, AM, I am totally blown away!!!

The next installment is about 3/4 done, and will be out this weekend...stay tuned!!
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Old 08-10-2001, 12:22 PM   #13
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Thanks AM for compiling these! They are so much fun to read. Mrs. Edge, you cracked my ass up with that part when Bono stops the song and says
"What's this? Adam Clayton's on the wrong side of the stage...Are you passing notes during my sermon?" That is such a Bono thing to say. Very funny, love them all.
Anxiously awaiting the next installment, BLuey.
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Old 08-10-2001, 01:16 PM   #14
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Originally posted by Mrs. Edge:

The next installment is about 3/4 done, and will be out this weekend...stay tuned!!
wow, I can´t wait.

Although it's a confusing time, I think it is genuinely exciting. I think the world is filled with possibilities at the moment. ~ Adam
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Old 08-10-2001, 09:27 PM   #15
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Whoo-hoo! Great idea, AM!!! I'm gonna hafta print these all!

Can't wait for the next one!

"Enough of this video bullsh**, I'm going to give you some culture. Know what I mean?" -Larry, ZooTv Era

"Rhythm is the sex of the music."-Bono

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Old 08-10-2001, 11:15 PM   #16
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You're awesome AM! How cool to have them all in one thread! Brilliant!!

Midnight Is Where The Day Begins

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Old 08-11-2001, 12:04 AM   #17
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YAAAAYYYYY!!!! Thanks AM!! I love all of Mrs. Edge's stories...I print them out and read them before I go to bed in hopes of happy U2 dreams...

keep it up're a star!

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Old 08-11-2001, 03:28 AM   #18
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Hooray! Mrs. Edge's stories are so great- I asked her if she'd send them all to me! And because she is so nice, she did. I could have used this thread!
Great idea though!
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Old 08-14-2001, 05:31 AM   #19
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Part VIII: Bonochick

The Whim

It was a sweltering day in August. Katherine was sitting at work in the Delta College computer lab, absent-mindedly reading one of Mrs. Edge’s stories on Pleba. She wasn't really in the mood to tackle any of the work she had to do. She was in fact, sick and tired of always being where she was supposed to be and doing what she was supposed to do! It was time to do something very spontaneous. Something outrageous! Something no one would expect her to do. She was going to skip school and work (claiming strep throat) and she was going on a trip! And not just any old trip! An unauthorized, reckless trip to Ireland to see U2 at Slane Castle! How she would get tickets she didn’t know, but she was going even if she had to stand around from a distance and listen in! Yeeeehaaaa!

Katherine proceeded to order herself an airline ticket right there on her computer and then, feigning sudden illness, went home and packed a small bag. Within an hour she was out the door, armed with all her U2 CDs and her Walkman. She couldn't begin to describe the excitement when she went to the ticket counter and the person behind the desk put a tag around her luggage marked DUB. She never thought she'd live to see the day that that would happen. Once in the waiting room for the plane she looked around her. Nothing but Irish people heading back home. She could tell by their hair, skin, eyes, claddagh rings and most of all their darling accents!

When finally her plane landed and a huge hare hopped across the field she knew that this would be a magical mystery tour, the ultimate musical journey. She hopped into a taxi and listened in mild panic as the driver told her a very long story in the thickest Dublinese she’d ever heard, and she didn't understand one word he said. She hoped he wouldn’t ask her to comment on anything he said! Finally after staring her eyeballs out at all the sights of Dublin from the brightly coloured painted doors to the laundry hanging on lines in people’s windows, she got to her small, cosy, Georgian hotel, just around the corner from St. Stephen’s Green.

She was so glad to be there. It was after all, 11:00 am her time, and she had pulled an all-nighter. All these lilting, soothing Irish accents were just the lullaby to put her to sleep! She was desperate for something to eat first though. Once in her room however, she was horrified to discover that there was no room service in the hotel-at any time! As she wandered the streets on her exhausted traveller’s feet she noted with mounting display that none of the restaurants were serving anyone yet. In Ireland it seemed that you ate at certain times, at night not usually until 8:00. There was no dinner on Sunday in the hotel at all, and you had to go somewhere else. If you hadn’t made reservations ages in advance you didn't eat at all! (Something discovered much to the chagrin of a starving Mrs. Edge on her last Dublin trip to see Popmart!)

Katherine decided she was too tired to comb the city for groceries to prepare herself, and instead returned to her room for a long bath, cosied into bed, turned on the Irish telly and began to flip through the channels.

".....and the weather over Cork city will be wet but not as wet as county Meath.....and the Liverpudlian football team does it again!...And Ulster claims responsibility in retaliation of an earlier IRA....And our guest tonight will be Norman Hewson, restauranteur extraordinaire!!!"

Katherine’s interest was instantly piqued. She learned that Norman owned a restaurant next to Bono's new 24-hour cafe, Mr. Pussy, named after the transvestite! Katherine decided that tomorrow she would go and check it out.

The next morning after a huge breakfast of eggs, bacon, toast and jam and cereal she went and bought vast supplies of bootlegs at the record collector's store on Grafton St. Soon it was mid morning and as good a time as any to go to Bono’s café. It took her about 20 minutes to get up the nerve to go in. Once in, she sat at the farthest table in the corner she could. She ordered a large Swiss Mocha (Irish Cream would have been too much of a cliché she decided) and opened the latest issue of Hot Press.

She was so intent on her reading that she never noticed the person who sat right at the table beside her drinking a French Vanilla coffee and reading the Irish Times. Suddenly a loud voice reverberated around the quiet room (the only music playing softly was the Beatle's Rubber Soul.

"What is this then, a public library?"

Katherine jumped out of her pages and back into the room. There standing at the other end of the cafe with a large mug of Guinness and a cheeky smile stood Gavin Friday! He was looking in her general direction. Katherine's mouth opened.

"Shut up ye bollocks, I'm tryin' to finish this article!!" The voice next to her snapped back in a mock snarl.

Katherine turned her head slightly and saw that right there, dressed in a flowing black silk shirt, leather pants, and with a small lock of hair tied back with a ribbon, was Bono. Katherine's mouth opened wider and her eyes bulged out but remembering the cardinal rule never to stare, put her nose back in the paper nonchalantly. Her ears however were working overtime. She couldn't look that nonchalant she thought; she could feel her ears burning and her face turning red.

"Don't you call a patron of this establishment a bollocks, ya gob-shite!"

"I'll call you whatever I want in me own café ye tosser!" Katherine was biting her tongue, her cheeks, anything to keep from giggling. Gavin went over to chat up the barmaid.
"Sorry about the interruption darlin'" Bono drawled. Katherine figured it would be OK to look at him if he were addressing her.

"Any time!" she peeped. Bono looked at her with amused, radiant blue eyes. Katherine was wondering what he was doing here in midday reading a paper, even if it was officially his own place! Where was Alison? Where was the rest of the band?

"What's yer name?"
"Are you an Irish American returning home to her roots?"
"No…I…um, I'm just a rabid U2 fan on holiday, hoping to get into the Slane show!"

Katherine couldn't believe she had just said that but hey, it was the truth! Bono's dimples emerged.

"Have ye not got tickets?”
“No…you see it was kind of a spur of the moment decision. If I can’t get tickets it doesn’t matter, I’ll just listen in from outside the venue.” She couldn’t believe the calmness of her own voice…it seemed like she was having an out of body experience. Well, one thing was for sure, if she didn’t get tickets, this trip was well worth it right there!

“Well we can’t have ye comin’ all this way for nothin’. You know, I think I might be able to pull a few strings for ye….” Bono winked at her and smiled impishly.

“Really? You’d do that for me?” Katherine could barely get the words out.

“Anything for our fans, especially one as lovely as yerself!” Bono eased himself into the bench right next to her, so he was only inches away, his thigh practically touching hers. “So have you been to Dublin city before? Have you seen any of the U2 haunts?”

Katherine was having a harder time controlling herself now, as she felt his body heat radiating onto her own skin.

"No, I was going to do that this afternoon." The answer came in a barely audible whisper.

"Well, I certainly don't have any plans written in stone, so if you want to come along with me I'll show you around!" Katherine squinted her eyes and looked at him carefully. He was actually serious! She couldn't believe her ears! What could possibly be prompting this outpouring of miracles?

Well, what she didn’t know was that after looking into her beautiful and sincere green eyes, Bono was instantly intrigued, intoxicated even. Alison had left him suddenly in the middle of the tour, his rolling and straddling proving too much for the hormone addled new mother to handle. He knew it was coming, and he’d had that argument with Ali before…this was who he was on stage, and it didn’t mean anything…but she refused to believe him. While he was dying of loneliness and misery, he didn’t see that he was doing anything wrong, and being the stubborn Taurus he was, refused to change his ways.
Katherine was helping him to forget his troubles. She had such a calm demeanour, she put him immediately at ease…both his eyes and his troubled soul.

"Ehm...well, I suppose we should get going. There's lots to do if yer up for it!" He swallowed down the last of his coffee, threw his paper onto the table and held out his hand to help her up. The inside of Katherine's stomach began to burn and melt. Her ears began to turn red again as she placed her cold damp hand into his huge warm paw. With her other hand she gathered up her stuff and they were off. "Put the lady's coffee on my tab!" Bono declared to the person behind the counter who nodded shyly. He led Katherine behind the building to a hideous yellow car with leopard spotted upholstery. Katherine could barely look at it.

"Hheeeedjious isn't itt?" He queried in his thickest accent.

"Well.....yeah." She couldn't lie.

"It helps me to blend in. It's just a silly rock and roll indulgence to have a car like this but I can hardly go around Dublin in some vintage car. That's Edge's department!" Gallantly he opened the far door for her and she got into the front seat. The car was a mess of lyric sheets, candy wrappers, matchbooks, guitar picks and a harmonica lay on the back seat all alone. The car had a powerful, musky cologne scent. Katherine could not believe what was happening to her. And she did up her seatbelt with quivering fingers. *I am sitting IN BONO’S CAR!!!* she screamed inside her head.

"I hope ye don't mind but I have to make a trip over to Edge's first. The boys are doing some instrumental stuff for the next album that we’re working on. I have to drop off my lyric sheets for the session. Also, the lads might have some ideas about where we should take you for the tour! You don't mind do you?" Bono began to drive the car recklessly through the winding streets of Dublin.

"Oh, no! I don't mind at all! I'm delighted to get to meet the rest of the band!" Katherine chirped loudly. Then she wondered if she hadn’t gone overboard the other way. She hoped he didn't take it that she wasn't satisfied with just him! That would be disastrous! He chuckled softly. He didn't seem remotely offended. Soon they were getting to some highway and he was concentrating on his driving. Katherine looked closer at him out of the corner of her eye. God he was gorgeous. She again wondered where Alison was…but this time she didn’t really care, and she certainly didn't want to ask. She couldn't believe she was on the way to Edge's house. Wait 'till Jessica heard about that one! She’d be frothing at the mouth! Maybe it would be safer not to tell her!

Soon they were driving along a narrow road, which turned in all sorts of directions. There were nothing but bushes lining the road and it was quite dark.

"This is the type of road where we used to park our cars and sneak off into the bush with the girls!"

"Ooooh" Katherine moaned longingly completely forgetting herself. Instantly she regretted this indiscretion. Why, oh why had she let that slip??!! Bono's eyebrow shot up.

"I mean....Ireland is such a romantic place...I'm so depressed I didn't grow up here." More reddening. How embarrassing.

"Ehm...yes I suppose it is. But we always thought America was the romantic place to be.”

"Oh, I wouldn't say that..." Katherine murmured. Perhaps it would be just as romantic if U2 grew up in the States, but still Ireland.....what a place. Soon they came up to an enormous house in the countryside. It had been a very long drive! It had gone by in seconds.

"Well, here we are!" They climbed out of the car. It was completely silent outside except for the sound of birds. They walked up a gravel path to the door. Bono opened it with his key. There was the sound of general din coming from downstairs. A dog rushed over.

"Hiya Fleetwood!" Bono vigorously thumped the dog’s side. Katherine tried to absorb and remember as much of the house as she could, as she knew she'd have to give Jessica a full report.

"This way!" Bono escorted her downstairs into the recording studio. He threw open the door and the noise hit them head on. It was a general jamming session and sure enough there were Edge, Adam and Larry. Katherine's mouth fell open for what seemed to be the millionth time that day.

"Well who did you expect? The three stooges?" Came Adam's sarcastic introduction.

"I...ah...well I..." Katherine stammered softly, not knowing what to say to that.

"She sounds like Edge!" Bono laughed. Edge rolled his eyes. Introductions were made. After some brief discussions about the music (which Katherine completely ignored so busy was she in observing the band members) to her amazement Bono walked over to her and strapped on a guitar! Edge looked kindly at her through gentle green eyes.

"Now then. Do ye know how to play guitar?"

"Well no, not really. …” She murmured, to shy to inform Bono that she did in fact sing. Bono grinned broadly.

"That's OK, you are going to leave this trip with if nothing else, the ability to know 3 chords and the truth!" Katherine laughed. She could hardly refuse!

"By the end of this song you'll sing with me!"

Katherine began to have serious butterflies in her stomach. Why was he making such a supreme effort? The truth was, he was falling head over heels in love with her and the more embarrassed she was the more he wanted to kiss her. This was so much fun. Finally, some spice for life!

"OK. Just to teach you a bit, why don’t we sing a little ditty. What’s your favourite song?”

“Oh, well….Walk On is one of my absolute favourites…” It was one of her favourites, but she didn’t feel right about asking for one of the older songs. “Oh! OK. That’s one of our favourites too.” Bono, with interjected instructions from Edge at the other side of the room, guided her through the chords that Bono would play on stage during that song. Shivers went up and down her spine when Edge played that majestic and longing intro. By the end of the song, Bono was facing her, lost in passion and Katherine was completely swept up in the glory of the moment.

“And I know it aches and your heart it breaks…you can only take so muuuuuuuch” Katherine sang until she thought her glass heart would crack.

“This gerl can wail.” muttered Larry through the din.

“WOW! Very impressive!” Bono’s eyes widened and then half closed as he gently twirled a lock of her blonde hair in his fingers slowly, his face drew closer to hers until his sweaty forehead was against hers. Katherine had thought she had died and gone to heaven. So absorbed in her beloved was she, that she paid absolutely no attention to the sneak preview she was getting of the next album!

Soon it was happy hour (as if it weren’t happy enough already!). The band decided to go out to a local pub, usually only filled with elderly gents entertained by show bands, for a few pints. They piled into one of Edge's larger cars. Larry sat in the front and Adam sat in the back, crammed in with several guitars and Katherine, pressed tightly against Bono.
"Hey Edge," Bono suddenly shouted, close enough to make Katherine's hair move slightly as though in a slight breeze, his breath tingling on her neck, "Sing us a travelling song!"

"I'm a rolling stone...alone in love...." The entire band proceeded with a rollicking rendition of Lost Highway. Katherine couldn't believe that all this was happening to her and all because she had decided to come to Ireland on a whim! Could this possibly be happening??? It had to be a dream. Soon they pulled up to the pub. They piled out of the car, heading for the door. Bono kept his arm around Katherine. Katherine noticed the other band members looking at her with interest. She wondered if they thought of her as a groupie, a fan or…something else that didn’t bear thinking about without risk of an implosion.

The pub was one of Edge's favourites. It was cosy and low key and he could sit there with his Guinness and not be noticed. In they walked. The gents paid them no notice. The bartender nodded.

"Well lads are ye going to play us a couple of tunes? Warm up fer tomorra and earn yer keep around here?"

"Play something! Something decent for a change!" Shouted a few of the old gents. The members of the band looked at each other and winked. Edge and Bono took a guitar each. Adam sat back and smiled benignly. Larry could only bang his hands on the table. Before doing that though, he went up and sang a rousing rendition of Irish Rover. Bono stared at Katherine throughout the whole tune and throughout Whisky in the Jar, which was requested because the gents were so pleased with these tunes that they actually recognized. Katherine stared back besotted. Oh, how there was one Irish Rover she wanted to get her hands on!

"Hey then! Lead singer! You! You've been pretty quiet! Sing something yerself for yer supper!" They shouted, filling up their glasses for more.

"Right then.....since we're in the traditional vein....." And he proceeded to croon Dirty Old Town. "...Dreamed a the old canal....I kissed my love by the factory gate....Dirty old town....dirty old town....." Katherine was so worked up inside she didn’t know if she wanted to scream, or throw up. Suddenly a very familiar tune began to be picked out by Edge on his guitar.

"Here's an old Irish drinkin' song that we haven’t played in awhile, but you probably won't recognize it! That's OK, the person who will recognize it is who I'm singing it for...." Katherine's heart landed in her shoes, bounced up to her neck and began to vibrate in her rib cage. Bono was singing a song just for her. He said so himself!!!

"Six o'clock in the morning, you're the last to hear the warning…a coffee date changes your whole far you gonna go before you lose your way back home...tryin' to throw your arms around the girl...Gonna run, to you run, to you, run to you....woman be still.....woman I will.....Hey! Katherine! Get up here and dance with me! Come on the Edge! Take me to the bridge!"

And with a huge crescendo Edge played the middle part of the song as Katherine jumped up and walked, half dancingly over to him. He was playing his guitar and he lifted it up so she could fit between it and him. She danced pressed tightly against him, as he played the guitar behind her back, his arms wrapped around her. Finally he took the guitar off all together and handed it to Adam. Then he wrapped his arms around Katherine and swung her around several times until they were so dizzy they collapsed on the floor, Katherine on top of him. The whole room cheered and the song closed there. In the din he whispered, "I'm running to you but will you stay? The night won't be enough..." His eyes were glazed over with love and dizziness.

Katherine could only nod and utter "Of course!" with as much passion and meaning as she could squeeze into those two words, her eyes beginning to mist up. He put one hand on either side of her face and kissed her very gently and very sensually. It was not the giant kiss she expected. But it was enough to knock all the air out of her.

"I can't wait to take you on the tour of my house next!" He purred sexily, aqua eyes burning in definite focus now. Katherine began to drool.

"I shall wait impatiently..." She whispered hoarsely. He smiled provocatively. Soon the din quieted down and a meal of Shepherd's Pie and beer was freely handed out to the band and Katherine. They had earned it!

"Well, Bono it certainly looks like we didn't take Katherine on a very good tour of Dublin city." Edge smiled wearily.

"But she sure got a good tour of his body!" Adam laughed as the others joined in.

"Ehm....don't worry, we'll go to Mount Temple and McGonagles and all that stuff tomorrow before the sound check. Right boys?" Bono asked. It was agreed. After they finished eating they drove back to Edge's and then Bono and Katherine got into his car straight away to drive back to Kiliney. They drove quickly and without saying much because they knew what was about to happen. Through the lush green hills and past beautiful mansions they went, the Irish sea breezing through the windows. Finally they made a left at the Canadian Ambassador's house and they were there. A small throng of fans was waiting on the front lawn. Katherine stood quietly to one side as he signed autographs and chatted with them. He was so sweet! One of the fans came up to Katherine.

"So now that Alison has left him are you the replacement?" The question took her aback but she was relieved to find out that Alison had indeed left him and he wasn't two- timing her.

"I don't think I could ever replace Alison." Katherine stated firmly but with a shaking voice. Bono overheard and smiled. He was so glad he had found her. Finally they had battled their way into the house. Katherine watched as he turned the lights on very dimly and disconnected the phone. She swallowed. This was definitely worth the long wait! She watched as he pulled off his hat, undid his hair and fluffed it out, threw off his shoes and vest and strode over to her, wrapping her in his arms urgently and holding his face not one inch further than hers. He was so close to her that he couldn't focus in her eyes. Instead he kept his eyes closed and gently touched her cheek with his. Katherine's hair stood up all over her neck. Her whole body began to shake. She felt that warmth beginning to seep into her again. His hair brushed across her face and again he placed his forehead on hers, whispering softly.

"At last! I hope my senses aren't lying to you have similar feelings to what I have for you? It would be impossible really as mine have escalated beyond anything I have felt in years..."

"Oh, Paul - " Katherine realised in horror what she had just said and blushed.

"That's OK, you can call me that....I'd love it if you were sufficiently comfortable with me to call me that."

"Well....I might as well just tell you....I have had feelings, probably a billion times stronger for you over the years than you could ever have for me." Bono smiled deliriously.

"I'm going to start making up for that now!" He then proceeded to pick her up and carry her up the spiral staircase in the tower to the bedroom with the glass ceiling. All she could see were stars.

"This is one of the places I come to for inspiration. Looking up at the stars is definitely a big part of that...Now looking at you…well, you are unlike anything I’ve seen before. Not only are you beautiful, but intelligent, sweet, noble...I hope you'll stay with me forever. " Bono clasped her tightly in his arms, swaying gently with her. He put one of her hands on his face, which she caressed tenderly and the other in his hair. He swayed her gently and slowly, softly in a half whisper sang to her under a canopy of stars...”A man dreams one day to fly, a man takes a rocket ship into the skies, he lives on a star that’s dying in the night and follows in the trail, the scatter of light…turn it on…turn it on, you turn me on…”

Katherine sighed deeply as he began to devour her lips at last with his passionate kisses as they continued to sway slowly in unison. The anticipation of waiting for this had been so intense. She tried to channel all her years of love, emotion and gratitude into her kissing. She had received the gift of his love and she was not going to let it go, ever.

“Slow down my beating heart…sloooowly love….slooowly love…………”


AM is offline  
Old 08-26-2001, 12:46 PM   #20
Bono's Belly Dancing Friend
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Location: Torontonian in Maryland
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While AM is away...I'd better add this here:

Part IX: madonna's child

Touring Madness

Emily sat in the semi-darkness of the bar, eyes adjusting to the gloom, shaking from sheer euphoria. Earlier that night, she had witnessed her first ever U2 concert with her friend Gina, from a prime spot between Bono and Adam in the heart. She thanked her lucky stars that the band had returned for the third leg; otherwise she might have missed it! The only damper on the evening was that Gina simply couldn’t get as excited about the show as Emily…and the fact that the show was over. And now, Gina had a curfew and had to go home. Emily was on such a high she couldn’t bear the idea of just going home to be greeted by more people who just didn’t get it.

So…Emily was alone, but that was fine with her, she was very good company for herself. She decided to walk into a very hip nearby local bar/restaurant for a drink before heading home. At 17, she was too young to drink, so she would have a cranberry and soda. She was hoping to meet other U2 fans there as enthusiastic as she. The bar was dark and dingy, filled with deep, frayed and comfy couches, and bookcases filled with everything from leather-bound classics to magazines, from which the customers (mostly college students) could help themselves while relaxing with one of the hundreds of specialty beers the bar stocked. One side of the room was exposed brick, the other, a wall of beer bottles from around the world.

Drink in hand, Emily walked to the back of the room and settled into one of the comfy couches, enjoying the atmosphere. A candle flickered on the table in front of her. It was here that she shivered and shook, unable to control the tremors of delight that raced through her body still as she remembered her favourite parts of the concert. She was surprised at how few people were there, considering the show got out an hour ago. She guessed they were all either at the hotel, or waiting for the band to come out of the venue. She didn’t feel up to waiting behind hundreds of people all night though, just to catch a glimpse. It wasn’t worth it.

As she pondered this, there was a sudden hush in the room. Emily craned her neck around the corner and there, to her absolute astonishment were Bono and Adam walking slowly through the bar! Alone!! In her direction!!! Knees buckling, Emily crashed back down into the couch. Oh, my God! What to do?? What to do?? What were her two favourite members of U2 doing here? Where was the entourage? Where were Larry and Edge? What was going on? Should she ask for an autograph, or play it cool?

She didn’t have long to worry as her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the bartender, who hovered menacingly over her, addressing her with total disdain and a hint of panic.

“Look. Sorry but you’re going to have to move to another part of the bar. I need this spot for some VIP guests.”

“Oh. OK…of course!” Emily stammered as she began to gather her things with shaky fingers, wondering if she could find another spot in the bar to sit and observe.

“No, no. That’s not necessary.” It was THAT voice, she knew it like the back of her own hand. She was behind the corner and couldn’t see, but the hoarse, soft sound of Bono’s voice was unmistakable, and she guessed inches away.

“But...” the bartender was not keen on looking foolish in front of this teenager.

“She was here first… maybe she wouldn’t mind if we took joined her?” It was Adam speaking now, in his calm, soothing and reasonable tone. Suddenly, Adam stepped around the corner and stood in front of her. He extended a hand, which she hesitantly took in hers.

“Hello, I’m Adam Clayton. Would you mind if my friend and I joined you? There don’t seem to be any free tables left in the place.”

“Um. No, I wouldn’t mind…not at all!” She laughed. It was such a ludicrous situation, she was no longer nervous. Bono ordered a raspberry lager, and Adam said he’d have “Whatever the lady’s having.” Emily slid over so she was in the absolute corner, on one side of the couch. Adam sat in the single chair to her right, and Bono plopped himself into the couch beside her.

“Ehm, hello…I’m Bono…the singer with a band called U2”. She shook Bono’s hand, which was warm and firm. Her small hand barely fit around it. She wondered how he could possibly assume she didn’t know who he was. Well, maybe he didn’t want to seem presumptuous. After all, that girl in the Q article didn’t have a clue who the Edge was!

“Yes, I know, I was just at the show. It was my first show, what an amazing experience!” Bono beamed. “I’m glad you liked it. We’re having such a wonderful time on this tour, meeting interesting fans like yerself…”

“So…if you don’t mind my asking, what brings you two here?” she instantly regretted the unfortunate pun. She didn’t dare ask where Edge and Larry were. Suddenly the drinks arrived, and there was a brief pause as Adam and Bono took very long glugs from their glasses. She began to wonder if asking this question was going over the line, but she couldn’t think of another thing to say! She didn’t know if she should watch them drinking, or examine the wall ahead of her and try to be as invisible as possible.

“Well,” said Adam, clunking his glass down on the table, and smiling elegantly at her, “Bono and I were feeling kind of depressed about being a couple of ageing, soon to be washed up rock stars, with no personal relationships to fall back on. So we thought we’d go out for a drink and wallow in existential misery for awhile.”

Emily’s mouth opened. Was he pulling her leg? How should she respond to this? “Oh!” she replied. Suddenly, the strain and the adrenaline proved too much for her system and she blurted, “Well, first of all I can’t imagine why either of you are single, if you ask me that’s a criminal waste. You could have anyone in the world that you want! And not only that, but don’t worry about ageing, it’s not every man in his forties that can be attractive to women in their teens! You should be out celebrating, not being depressed! I’m the one who should be depressed. I’m 17 and I don’t have a boyfriend, and I’m probably going to be a virgin forever! My friends and family don’t get it about U2, and I’m still stuck in high school, which sucks! My life is so boring I could scream!”

Bono and Adam began to laugh uproariously, and ordered another round of drinks as Emily blushed the colour of her drink. But she soon realized that this was not mockery of her, but genuine amusement and sympathy for her plight. Minutes soon turned into hours as Bono and Adam became very nostalgic for their Mount Temple years, regaling Emily with all sorts of entertaining stories about their youthful antics. Soon the conversation took a more serious note, as they talked about the importance of life experiences, both good and bad. With candlelight glimmering in her warm, auburn hair, and shadows dancing across her face, Emily’s eyes sparkled as she spoke, and Bono and Adam found themselves transfixed. Soon a powerful vibe had taken hold, and the atmosphere became electric. Every word uttered had sexual innuendo, and the flirting became more and more outrageous.

Suddenly, Bono put his arm around her and she could feel his fingertip gently running up and down back of her neck. Every hair on her body stood on end. She swallowed and looked straight ahead. She could feel him looking at her, his face mere inches away. It was so simple but so sensual a gesture, but she didn’t have a clue how to respond.

“I hope you don’t mind my coming on to you like this, I mean, are you thinking I wish he’d stop this now...?” Bono purred in his low voice.

“No, it’s quite welcome.” Before she could begin to wonder what would happen next, his head was on her shoulder. ‘Oh, my God....’ she thought ‘the man I have been dreaming about for so long has his head on my shoulder!’ He then began nuzzling her, tenderly rubbing the side of her face with his, his soft hair brushing her face. Adam sipped on his drink and observed the proceedings quietly, not wanting to break the mood.

She continued to stare straight ahead, body rigid with fright. Bono continued tenderly caressing the side of her face with his. Then he put a hand to her cheek, and tried to get her to look at him.

“I’m sorry, but I’m just paralyzed with amazement.” she uttered quietly, only able to bring herself to look at him out of the corner of her eyes. She wished she could enjoy herself more by looking at him full on and by returning his affections, but she really, truly was paralyzed.

“Don’t be won’t be able to dance!” He intoned gently and playfully. Oh...this was heaven. She had wanted him for so long and look at what was happening! But it was getting very late, and she really had to get home! CURSES!!!! Suddenly last call was announced. Bono looked at his watch.

“I think Adam and I are going to head back to the hotel. Would you like to join us?” Her heart began to thump uncontrollably in her chest. She agreed, and excused herself to use the pay phone and go to the washroom first. She climbed over Bono, her legs brushing against his, and walked away as he and Adam talked in hushed tones.

In the bathroom, she looked at herself in the mirror. Her cheeks were flushed in marked contrast to her pale skin. It was becoming increasingly obvious to her that she was going to spend the night with Bono, and tonight was going to be the greatest life experience of all. But could she go through with it? How could she NOT go through with it? If she were to remember in years to come that she could have lost her virginity to Bono and hadn’t taken full advantage of the opportunity, she would never forgive herself! Yes, you shouldn’t just give yourself to anyone, it should be someone you love, but this wasn’t just anyone, it was BONO! And she DID love him! This was just not a normal situation at all, and regular rules did not apply. Besides, she was mature for her age, and she was almost legal anyway. It’s not as if she were 14 or something. And age was just a number. Who cared about trivial stuff like that at a time like this? And furthermore, a man like Bono would take better care of her and have more respect for her feelings. She decided to leave it all in the hands of fate.

She phoned her mother, who was furious that she was still out at the wee hours of the morning. Emily apologized, saying that she had gone out with a bunch of friends after the show and had lost track of time. She was now going to spend the night at Gina’s, and she’d talk to her in the morning. Emily hung up before her mother could say another word. With quivering hands, she opened the bathroom door, half expecting to see that they had left without her. Quite the contrary. Bono and Adam immediately stood and waited for her to get to them. They smiled reassuringly at her, and allowed her to lead the way out of the bar.

Several people asked for autographs, so they paused a few times before leaving the room. The omnipresent blue town car was waiting outside the door. Bono opened the door for her, and in she went. Bono sat beside her, and Adam walked around and got in on the other side. As they drove along, Bono pulled something out of his pocket. It was a bar of dark chocolate. “Would you like a piece of this dark, manly chocolate?” he asked, a mischievous grin playing on his face. He was so irresistible, and she accepted gratefully.

“Oh, don’t I rate?” Adam pouted. Bono laughed and passed the chocolate over to Adam. Emily sat, flipping the chocolate from one side of her mouth to the other with her tongue, trying with all her might to be calm. Adam’s thigh was touching hers, and he was making no effort to remove it. Not that she minded, Adam meant almost as much to her as Bono did! Then an earth-shattering thought occurred to her. No, it couldn’t be. That was too mind-blowing even to consider.

Soon, they arrived at the hotel. As always, there was a small cluster of the most determined fans waiting. Bono stopped to sign, and Adam escorted Emily inside the building. “See you there!” Adam yelled at Bono. She wondered where “there” was. The lobby of the hotel was pretty much deserted, and they were soon on the elevator. Adam pushed a button, and they were off. They wordlessly made their way down the hall, and paused at one of the doors. Adam inserted the card key, the green light went off, and they were in. Adam began to rummage through the mini bar as she sat gingerly on the tip of the king-sized bed. Adam got water for himself, and a mini bottle of champagne for her, which he swiftly and expertly opened.

“I…uh…I don’t know if I…” she hesitated. She didn’t want to get drunk and do something she would regret.

“Oh! Don’t worry, if you don’t want it, I can get you something else. I just thought it might help you to relax a bit; you seem pretty tense. Besides, it’s a night for celebration, isn’t it? She had to agree with that. Besides, it’s not as if she hadn’t ever had anything to drink before! She placed the bottle to her lips and the cool liquid tingled down her throat. Adam sat beside her and put his arm around her, rubbing her back reassuringly.

“Listen. We were talking quite a bit tonight about life experiences. Losing your virginity is certainly huge, but it’s nothing to be afraid of. Bono and I were thinking that either one of us, or even both could make it a joyful and meaningful experience for you. Now, nothing has actually been said out loud, or decided of course, so if this is not what you had in mind, or if any of this makes you afraid, or uncomfortable, just say so. The last thing we want to do is scare you or pressure you into doing something you don’t want to do! We’re just both really attracted to you, and sometimes touring madness leads to all sorts of adventures.” She felt relief coursing through her, but Adam’s words only renewed her love for him and strengthened her resolve. Tonight was the night.

“Thank you, I really do appreciate that. And I also wanted to tell you not to worry about me getting all weird on you after tonight. I have no expectations of you, except that I know this will be one of the greatest nights of my life. I’ve been waiting for this moment forever and I can’t think of anyone I’d rather be with…” Suddenly the door opened, and in walked Bono.

“Are ye fillin’ the gerl’s head with nonsense Adam?” Bono grinned and sank into the chair opposite them.

“No, you’ve got it the wrong way ‘round, she’s the one messing with MY impressionable mind!” Bono laughed and then his face became serious.

“Emily, did Adam tell you…” his voice faded as Adam and Emily both nodded at him.

“Good.” came the reply. “I have to admit, after 20 years of being in this band, we’ve never done something like this before…well, maybe Adam has (nervous laugh), but not together. I think we’re more nervous than you are!” Bono removed his blue glasses and put them on the table. Emily began to shake again, and Bono walked carefully towards her, removing his jacket and placing it around her shoulders. Little did he know what a huge thing she had for that jacket! The soft leather creaked slightly as she wrapped it around herself, inhaling the musky scent. Her whole body began to burn with anticipation.

Suddenly Bono’s arms were around her, and his lips were on hers. It happened almost instantaneously, so quickly, she didn’t even see it coming. She could feel pins and needles spreading through her body as she listened to his breath in her ear. His kisses were open-mouthed, all encompassing, and persistent. They sent chills through her. She felt her tongue bump against his teeth, and held his lower lip teasingly between hers. She hoped he was enjoying what she was doing, but it was too late to analyze things now. Soon he was removing his jacket from around her shoulders, throwing it carelessly to the floor, and then her top, and her bra. She didn’t feel remotely embarrassed; in fact she had never felt so womanly and powerful. She eagerly removed his shirt and held him tightly. She loved feeling his warm bare skin on hers and couldn’t get over the amazement of opening her eyes and seeing his face, with those stunning blue eyes staring into hers. All fear had evaporated. Instinct was taking over.

Bono picked her up and lay her down in the middle of the bed, her head on the pillow. He began to kiss his way down her neck to her stomach, tendrils of his tousled hair tickling every inch of her skin as he moved. As Bono began undoing and sliding off her jeans, Adam, who had meanwhile removed all his clothes, lay down next to her, burying his face in her neck. While Bono concentrated on her lower half, Adam worked his magic on her face and torso. She didn’t know where to look or what to focus on. She could feel Bono’s warm breath on her thighs, and she could see Adams lips on her breasts. This overwhelming wave of pure pleasure and delight made her loose herself entirely and she gasped and shuddered involuntarily in ecstasy.

Soon they were changing position and she had removed Bono’s leather pants. That act alone was enough to live on for the rest of her life! First she made love to Bono, and then Adam. Finally, all three lay in a soaking, tangled pile on the bed, breathing hard, hearts pounding.

“Oh My God.” Emily announced to no one in particular.

“Is that good?” Bono asked, twirling a lock of her hair with his finger and gazing lovingly at her. “Oh, yes.” she replied quietly, kissing him gently to prove her point.

“Was it even better than the real thing?” Adam asked grinning wickedly. She laughed and threw her arms around him. God how she loved them both.


The next day, Emily crawled out of bed tiptoeing through the room as her lovers lay snoring blissfully. Every muscle in her body ached. Muscles she didn’t even know existed! In a warm glow, she wrote a long letter about how much their night together had meant to her, and that she was sorry she couldn’t say goodbye in person, but she had to get home before her disappearance was discovered.

Once home, after taking a very long shower, she closed herself in her room, lay down and cocooned herself under her earphones. Suddenly, her mother barged into her bedroom.

“Emily! There’s someone to see you at the door!” Emily shuffled wearily to the front door. There, in front of her very eyes, stood Bono.

“Bono! What are you doing here? Did you get my note? How did you find me?” Wordlessly, Bono threw his arms around her, holding her for a very long time.

“Of all the gin joints in all the world…you had to walk into mine…Listen, Emily…I have to tell ye somethin’. When I woke up, and you weren’t there, you would not have believed the emptiness and panic that enveloped me. I just can’t see myself going on with this tour and leaving you behind! You are someone I could never forget. I know that it was the three of us last night, and we shared something very special and exciting, but I think you and I made a real connection. I don’t think I could share you with anyone else again. I don’t know how you feel, but would you consider waiting for me until after this tour and maybe we could start seeing more of each other? See how it goes? In fact, maybe you could and spend some time with me on the road?” Emily didn’t need to be asked twice.


Bono and Emily tried to keep their relationship a secret as best they could, but of course, word soon flew that Bono was “robbing the cradle” and “corrupting the youth of America.” Photos of Bono and Emily flooded Interference, and the girls on Pleba were chewing nails with jealousy. Not only this, but she was the envy of EVERYONE at her high school, and now EVERYONE knew who U2 was.

When U2 came to play Toronto, the band secretly booked tickets to see the National Ballet perform Romeo and Juliet. Bono and Emily sat in Row A, transported by the beauty and emotion of the dance. During the intermission, while quaffing champagne, Bono proposed on one knee to Emily, in front of the astonished Patrons. She accepted with delirious happiness as he placed a ring of white gold and pearls on her finger, in honour of her favourite song. One year later, on her 18th birthday, they were married. Majoring in communications and graphic design at Trinity College Dublin, Emily soon started her own style magazine, invested in by her biggest fan, her enthusiastic husband Bono. Adam became one of her closest friends. None of them would ever forget that night of touring madness and how it had brought them together.

The End.

Mrs. Edge is offline  

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