|05-15-2005, 12:32 PM||#1|
Blue Crack Supplier
Join Date: Mar 2005
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The Promises we make pt 9.1
*Disclaimer: ~Fiction: Pronunciation: 'fik-sh&n Function: noun 1 a : something invented by the imagination or feigned; specifically : an invented story__________________
The Promises we make pt 9
Cat rested her forehead against the porcelain, grateful for its cool temperature against her sweating skin. This was the third day in a row, and she was starting to worry. On top of being sick, her pride wouldn’t allow her to admit it. Not to Adam, not to anyone. She sat back and drew in a deep, soothing breath. The nausea seemed to have passed, for now.
She stood and stripped, climbing in the shower and washing away the sweat and the smell of vomit in her nose. Adam said she had a problem. He was right, but not about the nature of the problem. Cat had thought it was the drinking, at first, too. But she hadn’t touched any alcohol in nearly a week. She hated doctors, but she was starting to think it was time to see one.
She finished her shower, wrapped a towel around herself and slipped quietly back into the bedroom. She paused to look down at him, still lying in bed, his long lanky frame sprawled out across the entirety of it, invading the space which she had vacated less than an hour earlier.
“Ok, that is just creepy.” He mumbled, never opening his eyes but sensing that she was there, watching him sleep. She laughed out loud and he opened those soft blue eyes slightly, peering up at her. He smiled at her; a smile she had come to recognize in the short time they’d been married. It was a smile which created a very strong, very specific physical reaction in her now.
She smiled shyly back at him as he rolled over onto one side, propping himself up on his elbow and patting the bed beside him, indicating he wanted her to join him there. She gladly obliged, crawling across the bed on hands and knees toward him.
“Good morning.” He told her, his voice still raspy with sleep. He kissed her gently on the mouth, stroked her damp hair back from her face. His eyes washed over her body as she stretched out to lay on her back beside him.
“I didn’t mean to wake you.” She told him coyly. He smiled that full toothy smile she loved so much, chuckling slightly and reaching out to run a big hand over her soft skin.
“I’m not complaining.” He told her softly. “What are you doing up so early?” He asked, and he saw the shadow cross her pretty eyes. “Something wrong?”
“No.” she said weakly, shaking her head. She reached up and ran her fingers through the hair on his chest, her eyes avoiding his desperately.
“Ca’alina, what’s going on with you? You’ve stopped talking to me.” He asked, lying down beside her, his mouth almost directly beside her ear.
“It’s nothing.” She told him, turning to kiss him lightly, thinking maybe she could distract him. Change the focus back to the considerably more pleasant way they had been about to start the day.
“Were you sick? Is that why you’re up? You have terrible bags beneath your eyes.”
“You don’t exactly look perfect first thing in the morning either.” She told him harshly, her lips pressed into a thin line. He frowned at her, sitting up and breaking contact between them.
“I didn’t mean that, and you know it. How much did you drink at the studio last night?” He asked, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed and standing to move across the room. She watched him walk, still impressed with his body every time she saw it, even if she was upset with him at the moment. He slipped a robe on over his broad shoulders and tied the belt loosely around his waist before turning to look back at her as if expecting an answer.
“I’m not having this discussion with you again.” She told him firmly. She rose from the bed and moved into the large walk in closet to get dressed for the day.
“I can’t stand seeing you go through this Cat. It’s not just yourself you’re abusing. You’re abusing my wife.” He told her from the doorway. Cat was awash with such a surge of anger she could hardly stand it, even if she could not rationally say why. She grabbed a duffel bag from a shelf and hastily threw some of her clothes in it.
“Then you won’t have to see it. I’ll go.” She announced stubbornly.
“Cat, don’t do this…” he told her, reaching out to touch her shoulder, but drawing back when she flinched away from his hand.
“Just leave me alone for awhile, Adam.” She told him sadly. “I have to think some things through. I’ll call you.”
“When? Cat, where are you going?” He asked in utter disbelief at her hasty behavior.
“I don’t know! I don’t know. I’ll call you.” She told him again, draping the strap of her bag over her shoulder, grabbing her helmet and walking away quickly so he would not see the tears which now burned her eyes. She didn’t know why. She didn’t know why she was so mad, she didn’t know why she suddenly wanted to weep, she didn’t know herself anymore.
“Where are we going?” Tessa asked as Edge led her to the car, carrying her hastily packed suitcase for her. It had been less than a month since their first official date, and every day had been better than the last. Now, he had showed up to pick her up from her meeting and told her to take the rest of the day off. They were going away for the weekend, for her birthday. She didn’t realize he even knew when her birthday was.
“It’s a surprise.” He told her with a mischievous little smile. Even when they arrived at the airport he refused to tell her where they were going until they were boarding the plane and he could no longer keep it a secret.
“Paris?” she asked, her heart racing in her chest. She had always wanted to see Paris. She had been scheduled to go for the first time with Jolie on this tour, before she quit. “We’re going to Paris?” She asked, her brown eyes wide.
“Is that a good reaction or a bad one?” Edge asked, making a nervous face as he tried to read her reaction. She laughed out loud and wrapped her arms around his neck.
“It’s good. It’s definitely good!” She told him, kissing him softly on the cheek, his beard scratching her lips.
“I thought you might like to see the Louvre.” He told her as they boarded the plane.
“The Louvre! The Eiffel tower, the Seine… everything.” She told him enthusiastically. “I can’t believe you would do this for me.” She told him as the plane took off. “No one has ever done anything like this for me.”
“It’s about time, then.” He told her, his eyes sad to think of everything she had suffered in her life.
“This isn’t because of what Angel told you, is it?” Tessa asked, tilting her head to one side as she watched him closely, trying to read his face. “Edge, I don’t want you to feel sorry for me.”
“I don’t!” He told her, and she gave him a disbelieving look. “Ok, I mean, I feel bad for what happened to you. But this isn’t about that.” He assured her. He leaned in to whisper in her ear, sending a tickle down the skin of her neck and into her spine. “I was just looking for an excuse to get you to a hotel again, where I could seduce you.”
She let out a sharp burst of laughter, knowing he was only teasing. Or, at least, mostly teasing.
“Why is that funny?” He asked, smiling at her while trying to act insulted.
“It’s not.” She told him, her eyes sparkling as she smiled at him. The thought hit her, then, that there really was no reason for that to be funny. They liked each other; that was clear. They’d developed a bond, and quickly. He was a very attractive man, healthy and almost certainly as interested in the physical aspects of a romantic relationship as any other man.
Her hands began to shake a little, as she realized where this trip was likely to lead. She hadn’t been prepared for this possibility yet. She chewed nervously on her lower lip resting her head back against her seat and closing her eyes. She was scared. It had been so long, and she worried so about her scars. How could any man be attracted to a woman whose body was riddled with scars?
Still, as scared as she was… there was a part of her which thrilled at the possibility. She had not stopped longing for certain things which only a man could provide just because she had shied away from men for so long. In fact, many people said that most women didn’t hit their sexual peak until their thirties. So what if she was turning forty tomorrow? Tonight she was still in her thirties, she thought.
She smiled to herself and tried to clear her mind of all thought of anything except the Louvre, the Siene, and Paris in the early summertime. She would deal with anything else when it came up, if it became an issue, and not waste a moment worrying about it before that.
“Right, just like that. Knee bent, lean to the left and kick with the right.” Angel told Cat. “Put your body weight into it; hit with the pad of your foot, not the toes because that’ll do more damage to you than your opponent, and not with the heel because you’ll lose balance.”
Cat did as Angel instructed, kicking the heavy bag and receiving a satisfying ‘thump’ for her effort. The force of her kick set the bag swaying, and that made Cat smile, pleased with herself. It felt good to really strike out at something without having to feel guilty about it. This was the ‘out’ she had needed so desperately. She repeated the technique with her other leg.
“Good.” Angel told her, “Do ten with each leg and let me know when you’re done.” She informed Cat, walking over to the speed bag and practicing her own fine hand precision punches. She wanted to be friends with Cat. She was trying to be, she was even teaching her some kick-boxing techniques and other methods of self-defense which also served well as exercise routines.
Still, no matter how comfortable they got with each other, whenever Bono and Cat were in the same room, Angel’s stomach knotted up. She told herself it was just her old habits of being suspicious of everyone; a habit she had picked up as a cop.
She told herself there was no foundation for her jealousy, and that maybe her problem was more rooted in her own boredom. It had taken her less than a month to arrange the band’s security program, and it was running smoothly now with little to no need for her supervision.
“Hey, there are my two favorite babe’s.” Bono said playfully as he strode into the gym, dressed more to go out than to work out. “I’ve got a meeting to get to, I’ll have to take a rain check on the work out.” He told Angel with a quick peck.
“Where are you going?” She asked, irritated that he was ditching her yet again.
“Tessa had a meeting with the committee organizing the summer quarter fundraiser for Doctor’s without borders, but something else came up.” He informed her, sliding a pair of funky dark glasses on over his pretty blue eyes.
“Couldn’t you have just told her you couldn’t do it?”
“I could’ve, but I didn’t think you’d mind. It is a pretty important cause.” He replied, frowning at her, surprised at her selfish reaction.
“Hey, B?” Cat asked from across the room, piling all of her light brown hair up on top of her head with one hand and fanning her sweaty neck with the other hand. “Before you go I have to ask you something.” She said, slowly moving toward them.
“Sure, kitty-cat. What’s up?” He replied, and Angel ground her teeth together. She hated it when he called her that.
“I, um… I was wondering if I could crash here for a few days?” She asked, and Angel’s head snapped up, her eyes wide as she studied the pair of them. *Oh, hell no!* She thought. *No fucking way!*
“Why? What’s wrong?” Bono asked, his head lowered near to hers, his shoulder nearly touching hers as they spoke like conspiring lovers rather than friends.
“Adam’s gotten it into his head that I’ve been drinking too much.” Cat confessed with a deep sigh. “I can’t so much as gargle mouthwash with alcohol in it and he’s on me. I need some space. I wouldn’t ask you, but Krash has this girlfriend, now, and since they only have one bedroom, Alex sleeps on the couch. Similar situation with Simone and Pauley.”
“What about Larry?” Angel asked, and they looked up at her, as if surprised not only that she had been listening to them, but that she was still in the room at all.
“Oh, I don’t think so. Larry and I…” Cat started, shaking her head.
“Yeah, it’s not an issue. I’ve got plenty of room. Mi casa, su casa.” He told Cat, shooting a curious glance over at Angel.
“Thanks. I appreciate it more than you can imagine.” She told him with a broad smile. “Well, what now?” She asked Angel, who stared at her blankly. “I’m done with the kicks you were showing me. What do I do now?” She asked.
“Oh. Right. Tape your hands up like I showed you before. I think you’re ready to spar.” She said, her nearly black eyes shining. As Cat did just that, Angel walked toward the door with Bono.
“Why does she have to stay here?” Angel demanded.
“Why not?” He asked. “What’s the matter?”
“I don’t think she should stay here, that’s all.” She informed him.
“She’s my friend. The wife of one of my closest mates. Why should I tell her no?” He asked, pausing to consider his own question for a moment. His eyes narrowed and the corner of his mouth twitched up into the start of a smile. “Are you jealous?” He asked, and Angel’s jaw flexed.
“I don’t like the two of you staying here together. If that makes me jealous, then, I guess I’m jealous.” She informed him coldly. He chuckled, reaching out and stroking her hair, resting his forehead against hers.
“Love, you have nothing to be jealous of. Cat and I’ve been down that road and it was mutually decided we were just friends.” He told her, kissing her lightly and turning to go. He paused and turned back. “Of course, if it would convince you to stay here instead of insisting on staying in that manky little apartment, maybe I should’ve told you that you should be jealous, eh?”
“I’m not ready to move in with you.” She told him quietly. He’d been pestering her from the first night she’d spent here with him to simply move in. It would be more convenient, he insisted, and just plain easier for them both.
“So take a guest room and be my room mate.” He cajoled, winking at her before disappearing out the door and down the hall. She drew in a deep breath, counting to ten before she turned to face Cat who waited for her on the exercise mats Angel had lay down as a makeshift boxing ring.
“Ready?” Cat asked, hitting the knuckles of her hands together and creating several loud popping noises from her fingers. Angel nodded as she retrieved the tape and wrapped her own hands, never having been one to bother with gloves when she fought.
“Hands up.” She instructed Cat, who raised her hands as she’d been shown earlier. “So, you and Adam are having trouble?” she asked as she and Cat began the dance of advance and retreat, sizing each other up and trying to predict each others next move.
“I guess.” Cat replied. “Just because he doesn’t drink anymore it’s like he thinks because I do, I have a problem.” She said, dodging Angels first swing and nearly falling backwards for it.
“I think people who have seen a problem in themselves or people close to them are usually the first ones to see it in others.” Angel informed her, easily stepping out of the way as Cat swung, sweeping her legs out from underneath her and sending her tumbling. Cat peered up at her through her hair, irritation clear in her green eyes.
“What’s that supposed to mean? You think I have a problem?” She asked as she rose to her feet and swung again, this time catching Angel in the left side. Angel blocked Cat’s second swing with her right hand while connecting with Cat’s jaw with her left. Cat’s head snapped to the side but she stayed on her feet, stepping back and putting some space between them.
“I grew up on a reservation. I’ve seen what alcohol addiction does. Why do you think I don’t drink?” Angel told her, spinning and connecting with a kick to Cat’s back which sent her to her hands and knees. Cat rolled clear and sprung to her feet, more than simply irritated now.
“Well I’ve seen it plenty, myself.” She told Angel sharply. “And I don’t think I have a problem.” She kicked, connecting with the back of one of Angel’s knees and setting her off balance. Cat swung again, moving in to strike while Angel was distracted, but Angel caught her wrist and held fast.
“What the fuck is your problem?” Cat demanded finally.
“I don’t have a problem.” Angel told her, shoving Cat’s hand away and assuming a fighting stance once again. Cat assumed her fighting stance as well, but before they started to run through the training routine, she cocked her head to one side and looked at Angel through narrowed eyes.
“Are you jealous?” She asked, seeing the way Angel’s face darkened.
“Bono already told me there was no reason to be.” Angel told her, swinging and missing as Cat dodged. Angel’s grace was failing as her temper flared. “He said you ‘already went down that path’. Whatever the hell that was supposed to mean.”
Cat should have told her it didn’t mean anything. She ought to have said there simply was no attraction between them, whether it was entierly true or not. If she’d been thinking, she would’ve gotten out of this situation as quickly and quietly as possible. But Cat’s own temper had been loosed when Angel had come at her full force with no warning.
“That’s right.” She said. “One night was enough to tell us we were too much alike to be a couple.” Angel’s eyes were black as Cat’s sharp tone and even sharper words hit her square in the heart. She swung hard and caught Cat in the face with a left jab that sent blood squirting from her nose.
“Fucking Christ!” Cat exclaimed, her hand covering her bleeding nose protectively.
“Shit. I’m sorry!” Angel said, although it was only partly true. She hadn’t intended to really hurt her. She was lashing out, and not only at Cat, but at all the little things which had been bothering her which she had kept inside. Especially the women who were constantly grabbing and groping at Bono; celebrities, friends, and strangers alike.
“Here, don’t do that, you’ll choke.” She told Cat as she saw the woman start to lean her head back in an attempt to stop the blood flow. She hurried to the first aid kit and retrieved an ice pack. “Put this on it, the cold will make the blood vessels constrict and slow the bleeding.”
Cat gave the woman an evil, distrusting look from behind her hand but accepted the ice pack and rested it against her sensitive nose. She wasn’t about to say thank you, but the woman’s apology had kept her from saying a few other choice words.
“Look, I got carried away. I’m sorry.” Angel told her, running her hand through her long black hair, clutching a handful of it in frustration. “I’ve got some things to work out.” She said, her head falling forward, her shoulders slumped in defeat as she hurried out of the gym. Cat’s own words echoed in her ears, and she thought of how she had said basically the same thing to Adam just hours ago.
What was wrong with her? She loved him, she knew that with her whole heart. He was the best thing which had ever happened into her life. She sank down to sit on the floor and let the tears fall freely in such utter frustration with herself. She had been focusing most of this on Bono, and the song, or on her defensiveness of her judgement when it came to drinking. The truth was, she didn’t want Bono. She wanted a safety net.
She was afraid she was going to lose Adam, the same way she had lost her mother and then her father, her friends Gunnar and Charlene. Everyone she loved, really, truly loved, had abandoned her in one way or another. She was trying to protect herself from that hurt by walking away first. This revalation dawned on her and it was like a weight being lifted from her shoulders.
Thinking of it from that point of view, she realized she was in control again. She could look at her feelings and actions in a more reasonable way and deal with them appropriately. Maybe Adam would be worried about her, but that was a good thing. He wasn’t about to leave her because she was sick. He would help her. And if he didn’t, she could deal with that if and when it happened.
She felt stupid, for having reacted so childishly. She prided herself in being a reasonable, logical person, but this time she had certainly not acted as one. She stood, intending on finding Angel and apologizing to her, explaining that nothing had really happened between herself and Bono, and then hurrying back to find Adam and apologize to him as well.
As soon as she found her feet, however, she was overcome with dizziness. She braced her hand against a wall and tried to make the room stop spinning. After a moment, she rested her back against the wall and slid back down to the floor, closing her eyes. The next thing she knew, she heard Bono calling her name. She blinked her eyes open and saw him kneeling on the floor in front of her, his face drawn tight in concern.
“Cat, what the fuck happened?” He asked, his tone more gentle than his words. She was a sight to see, sitting there on the floor unconscious, the lower half of her face streaked with blood.
“Got a bloody nose.” She told him weakly, moving to stand. He reached out a thick hand and rested it on her shoulder, pushing her back down. “Did you forget something? Why are you back so soon?” She asked.
“I’ve been gone several hours, sweetheart. You sit right there, I’m going to call an ambulance.” He told her, springing to his feet and hurrying out the door.
“No, I’m ok…” she told him, moving to stand again, but once again finding herself to weak and dizzy to do so. Had it really been hours? Had she sat there on the floor for hours, unaware of the passage of time or anything going on around her?
“Where is Angel?” Bono asked as he returned to the room, a phone clutched to his ear. Cat shrugged and shook her head. She didn’t know if Angel had gone into the other room or left the house completely. All she could remember was her frustration, and Cat felt a huge surge of guilt.
“I’m sorry.” She told him, but he was talking to the dispatcher and didn’t hear her. When he finally hung up the phone and knealt down beside her again, she asked him softly, “Call Adam for me? Tell him I need him.” It wasn’t any easy thing for her to say when, for years she had been announcing to the world that Cat Williams did not need anyone.
|05-15-2005, 12:53 PM||#2|
Blue Crack Addict
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: among the fields of gold...
Local Time: 12:01 AM
I was hoping for an update before the weekend ended! I love your writing, Sad_Girl- looking forward to the next chapter!
|05-15-2005, 02:54 PM||#7|
Join Date: Nov 2003
Local Time: 04:01 AM
I'm glad she's not an alcoholic and just....um nevermind. Poor Angel, I hope her and Cat work everything out between them! Can't wait for the next part! Thanks for updating so quickly!!!
|05-15-2005, 06:14 PM||#8|
Rock n' Roll Doggie
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: hatching some plot, scheming some scheme
Local Time: 11:01 PM
I don't know if Angel can't deal with other women flirting with Bono and his stage persona in general.. man is she ever with the wrong guy. Interesting to see where that is going to end up.
Once again Sad_Girl. Excellent work
|05-15-2005, 07:16 PM||#9|
Blue Crack Supplier
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: completely out of touch
Local Time: 12:01 AM
Thanks for all the feedback guys! You keep me going when I get frustrated with my writing!
|05-15-2005, 08:45 PM||#10|
Join Date: Nov 2002
Local Time: 12:01 AM
Oh this is so good. I'm glad she's not an alcoholic either. Wonder what's gonna happen with the ... oh nevermind. hehehe
|05-15-2005, 08:59 PM||#11|
Join Date: Apr 2002
Local Time: 11:01 PM
Ohhhh, this is exciting. At least Cat isn't an alcoholic...lol, I wonder what could be wrong with her though?
*scratches chin thoughfully*
|05-16-2005, 03:58 AM||#13|
Join Date: Dec 2003
Local Time: 04:01 AM
keep it going you have done fantistic so far from you started this
|05-16-2005, 08:41 AM||#16|
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: ....where the wind calls your name...
Local Time: 12:01 AM
I love this story! I'm glad Cat's not an alcoholic, too...but now I'm worried about this whole Bono/Angel/Cat thing.__________________
Eh, the tension is great, though. It's what keeps me hooked, lol.
Keep going, sad_girl. You're doing a great job ... don't get frustrated, okay? I've been reading this series from the very start, and I have to say you're one of my favorite authors.
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