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Old 03-18-2004, 08:46 AM   #1
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the little stranger pt 15

In the end he told her everything even about his ex wifes Angies abuse.. he wanted her to understand the situation he was facing
the situation Katie had been brought into the world.. how it coming up to her first birthday all he had was unhappy memories.. and absolutely no memories of his daughter's birth, and how it saddened him when he thought about it.
"I feel like I have been cheated" he confessed finishing of his drink, his tone a little bitter "Even though I kind of understand why Angie behaved as she did...I just wish it had not happened that way"

"It must have been awful for you" Karen realised sympathetically getting a new understanding of Bono's recent behaviour

"I can't believe she never even let you know about Katie.. it must have been a terrible shock"

"Thats an understatment" Bono retorted "I was a mess, if it wasnt for Liv and the guys.. I don't know how I would have got through it"
"and I have been thinking, lately you know about Katie growing up without her mother, and when she starts asking questions about Angie.. how do I tell her .. how do I explain to her how her mother died with out it screwing up her life?"

He looked so bleak and vunerable contemplating this it Karen's heart went out to him she just wanted to go over and give him a comforting hug to try and make him feel better.

"I keep thinking about Angie what she went through with the abuse then getting hooked on the drugs, every one tells me I did all I could but I still feel like I failed her, what if Katie also blames me when she get older for not doing enough to keep her mother alive, what if she ends up hating me over it?"

Unable to bear him condemning himself like this Karen went over to him sitting next to him and grabbed his hand

"Don't do this to yourself Bono.. you are not to blame for what happened to Angie that was down to her parents and what they put her through.. and I am sure Angie knew you were doing your best for her.. Its a terrible tragedy but you must not let this haunt you and ruin your relationship with Katie I am sure Angie would not want that."

She broke of there taking a deep breath and decided as he had been so open with her she should do the same.. speaking to him of things she had never told anyone before

"I grew up and I never knew who my father or my mother was, My gran brought me up.. but she always made me feel guilty about it, like I was a burden that had been dumped on her and in a way I suppose I was...I always wondered what it would be like to be in a normal family with parents who would care for me. I think that is why I chose a nanny as a career because it meant I was in a family enviroment the kind I longed for when I was a child.

From I started working for you I have seen the effort you have put in to have a good relationship with Katie.. in a way I envy her, I wish I had a had father like you.. and I know as Katie gets older and when the time does come for her to find out about her mother.. she will not blame you, the love and the bond between you will have only got stronger.. you are a good man Bono and a good father and you will get through this"

Bono just stared at Karen, it had been the longest speech she had ever given, he noticed her eyes were welling up with tears and she was trying to keep them in check, he knew it had been an effort for her to open up to him like this. He reached out and stroked her cheek

"Thank you Karen" he said softly "I guess the both of us have been through a hard time one way or another"

"Yes" Karen agreed trying to pull herself together.. she didnt want to fall apart in front of him" and she had to keep swallowing hard to keep her threatening tears at bay.

Realising this Bono give her a comforting hug "But you are right we are survivors and we will get through this.. I am sorry for spilling my guts and being a right pain in the ass lately.. I am usually very postive.. honestly" he grinned as he pulled her away to look at her.

Karen smiled "I believe you, " she quipped back, feeling she was getting control of herself again

Recovering from the emotion they both laughed a little embarrased now that they had been so open with each other about their feelings.
Suddenly they were no longer employer and employee but two people who had unburdened their inner fears and feelings and had come out the other end with a new respect for each other. and not sure how to deal with it., their eyes met and locked and Karen felt her heart suddenly flutter, she felt like Bono was looking into her soul, and it was doing crazy things to her mind and body that she didnt entirely understand.. but startled her a little.

She moved away from him, breaking the eye contact, feeling her cheeks heat up "I think we have done enough talking for one night.. I had better get to my bed.. we can talk about Katies Birthday tomorrow if that is ok"

Bono watched Karen transforming back into her employee mode, and realised right now that perhaps that was good, because suddenly he was getting the crazy overwhelming urge to kiss his daughters nanny.

"Yeah sure" he agreed "It can wait till tomorrow"...right now all he wanted to do was go and take a cold shower.. he needed it.

**************
ok I am starting to hot things up with karen and Bono
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Old 03-18-2004, 01:40 PM   #2
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I'm totally hooked on this now! Thanks for all the frequent posts too. I can't wait to see how this all works out
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Old 03-19-2004, 01:58 AM   #3
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Ooh...it just continues to get better and better...I, too, am looking forward to what happens next. .

I agree with smooshcat, too-thanks for posting constantly, that way I don't have to wait in agony to see what happens next. .

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Old 03-19-2004, 03:06 AM   #4
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glad you are enjoying it.. I have to keep at everyday or knowing me if I leave it for a few days I will probably lose the momentem and not finish it.. but last night in bed I figured out what way the story was going and how it was going to end.. don't worry there are still quite a few more parts before that happens.. but I think you will like it. but it means I can stay focused to actually finish it
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Old 03-19-2004, 03:43 AM   #5
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Old 03-19-2004, 11:36 AM   #6
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This is great! annj. Keep it up
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