JessicaAnn
ONE love, blood, life
Did you guys see this on www.youtwo.net?
http://www.twincities.com
May 9, 2002
From The Pioneer Press:
The other Osbournes
BY AMY CARLSON
St. Paul Pioneer Press
It's not surprising that the Osbournes have captured the hearts of Americans. After all, those
foul-mouthed Brits have everything needed to pique our curiosity -- a pair of challenging
teen-agers, a brilliant mother, dogs relieving themselves all over their million-dollar home
and a fried, heavy-metal dad who could be the anti-drug campaign's best weapon.
Rumors are flying about the show's fate next season. The Osbournes want to re-up, but only
if the price is right. If they don't, there are plenty of other musicians waiting for their chance
in the reality TV spotlight. P. Diddy? Sting? Please -- not unless we get to see an actual
gunfight or Tantric sex session. But here are some stars we'd like to spy on next, and the
way we imagine the shows would play out:
THE BONOS
Family: Bono with wife Ali Hewson, and kids Jordan, Memphis Eve, Elijah Bob Patricius
Guggi Q and John Abraham
Rating: PG
Pilot: The camera follows Bono as he continues on his quest to feed the world, write another
rock gem and drink as many pints of Guinness as humanly possible.
Emerging star of the show: God, in his first earthly appearance, snubs the Pope and says to
Bono, "Yes, you are my favorite."
THE WAITSES
Family: Tom with wife Kathleen Brennan, and kids Kellesimone, Casey Xavier and Sullivan.
Rating: PG
Pilot: See Tom and Kathleen cheer at the kids' soccer game and then go back home and
write creepy songs that'll have their neighbors keeping the lights on at night.
Emerging star of the show: Kathleen establishes herself as the savvy wife and is on her way
to becoming as popular as Sharon Osbourne.
THE DYLANS
Family: Bob with five grown children stopping by for visits.
Rating: G
Pilot: Dylan glimpsed briefly between stage and tour bus.
Emerging star of the show: Tour bus driver Clem, who reassures us that "Dylan's a real nice
guy, he's just shy."
THE PRINCES
Family: Prince with new love Manuela Testolini.
Rating: PG
Pilot: Prince renounces his sexy past and proceeds to deliver a lengthy speech about faith
before going to one of his fun-filled Paisley Park parties.
Emerging star of the show: The Paisley Park parties.
THE MADONNAS
Family: Madonna with husband Guy Ritchie and kids Lourdes and Rocco.
Rating: PG
Pilot: Watch the material girl manage her career, while the nanny raises the kids.
Emerging star of the show: The nanny.
THE HOUSTONS AND BROWNS
Family: Whitney Houston with husband Bobby Brown and daughter Bobbi Kristina.
Rating: R
Pilot: Whitney and Bobby squabble, come up with new ways to transport their drugs and
continue to get skinnier every day.
Emerging star of the show: The designer bong in their living room.
THE NELSONS
Family: Willie and wife Annie D'Angelo, with their children Lukas and Jacob.
Rating: PG-13
Pilot: Some reefer, lots of tall tales and a few good-hearted women on the tour bus.
Emerging star of the show: Willie's trademark accessories -- bandanas, braids and
beat-up guitar.
THE JACKSONS
Family: Michael with ex-wife Debbie Rowe and kids Prince and Paris.
Rating: NC-17
Pilot: The Freak of Pop, whose skin continues to get lighter throughout the series, proves
he's a family man by spending plenty of quality time with his kids and their little friends.
You can bet cameras won't be allowed in his bedroom.
Emerging star of the show: Bubbles the chimp. He's the only one you actually want to
look at.
THE JOHNS
Family: Elton and partner David Furnish
Rating: G
Pilot: Elton takes us shopping for a snazzy new outfit.
Emerging star of the show: Nobody upstages Sir Elton.
THE ROCKS
Family: Kid Rock with fianc?e Pamela Anderson, and his son Robert and her sons Brandon
and Dylan
Rating: X
Pilot: Pammy and Kid get it on all day and all night and then find time to take the kids to the
park.
Emerging star of the show: Even though she's had a breast reduction, Pammy's two main
"assets" get all of the limelight.
------------------
Jessica
"I turn slightly and catch Bono with half a Perrier bottle in his mouth. He's sucking the thing in such a manner it would put Madonna to shame!"
"I'm very secure with the fact that I'm not black. I'm white, pink and rosy. But I've got soul."
--Bono
?We make music you can have sex to.?
--Bono
"Girls boys listen me kiss love fun drink sick kiss cuddle sex swim sea rock and rub." (from the gates of Bono's house)
http://www.twincities.com
May 9, 2002
From The Pioneer Press:
The other Osbournes
BY AMY CARLSON
St. Paul Pioneer Press
It's not surprising that the Osbournes have captured the hearts of Americans. After all, those
foul-mouthed Brits have everything needed to pique our curiosity -- a pair of challenging
teen-agers, a brilliant mother, dogs relieving themselves all over their million-dollar home
and a fried, heavy-metal dad who could be the anti-drug campaign's best weapon.
Rumors are flying about the show's fate next season. The Osbournes want to re-up, but only
if the price is right. If they don't, there are plenty of other musicians waiting for their chance
in the reality TV spotlight. P. Diddy? Sting? Please -- not unless we get to see an actual
gunfight or Tantric sex session. But here are some stars we'd like to spy on next, and the
way we imagine the shows would play out:
THE BONOS
Family: Bono with wife Ali Hewson, and kids Jordan, Memphis Eve, Elijah Bob Patricius
Guggi Q and John Abraham
Rating: PG
Pilot: The camera follows Bono as he continues on his quest to feed the world, write another
rock gem and drink as many pints of Guinness as humanly possible.
Emerging star of the show: God, in his first earthly appearance, snubs the Pope and says to
Bono, "Yes, you are my favorite."
THE WAITSES
Family: Tom with wife Kathleen Brennan, and kids Kellesimone, Casey Xavier and Sullivan.
Rating: PG
Pilot: See Tom and Kathleen cheer at the kids' soccer game and then go back home and
write creepy songs that'll have their neighbors keeping the lights on at night.
Emerging star of the show: Kathleen establishes herself as the savvy wife and is on her way
to becoming as popular as Sharon Osbourne.
THE DYLANS
Family: Bob with five grown children stopping by for visits.
Rating: G
Pilot: Dylan glimpsed briefly between stage and tour bus.
Emerging star of the show: Tour bus driver Clem, who reassures us that "Dylan's a real nice
guy, he's just shy."
THE PRINCES
Family: Prince with new love Manuela Testolini.
Rating: PG
Pilot: Prince renounces his sexy past and proceeds to deliver a lengthy speech about faith
before going to one of his fun-filled Paisley Park parties.
Emerging star of the show: The Paisley Park parties.
THE MADONNAS
Family: Madonna with husband Guy Ritchie and kids Lourdes and Rocco.
Rating: PG
Pilot: Watch the material girl manage her career, while the nanny raises the kids.
Emerging star of the show: The nanny.
THE HOUSTONS AND BROWNS
Family: Whitney Houston with husband Bobby Brown and daughter Bobbi Kristina.
Rating: R
Pilot: Whitney and Bobby squabble, come up with new ways to transport their drugs and
continue to get skinnier every day.
Emerging star of the show: The designer bong in their living room.
THE NELSONS
Family: Willie and wife Annie D'Angelo, with their children Lukas and Jacob.
Rating: PG-13
Pilot: Some reefer, lots of tall tales and a few good-hearted women on the tour bus.
Emerging star of the show: Willie's trademark accessories -- bandanas, braids and
beat-up guitar.
THE JACKSONS
Family: Michael with ex-wife Debbie Rowe and kids Prince and Paris.
Rating: NC-17
Pilot: The Freak of Pop, whose skin continues to get lighter throughout the series, proves
he's a family man by spending plenty of quality time with his kids and their little friends.
You can bet cameras won't be allowed in his bedroom.
Emerging star of the show: Bubbles the chimp. He's the only one you actually want to
look at.
THE JOHNS
Family: Elton and partner David Furnish
Rating: G
Pilot: Elton takes us shopping for a snazzy new outfit.
Emerging star of the show: Nobody upstages Sir Elton.
THE ROCKS
Family: Kid Rock with fianc?e Pamela Anderson, and his son Robert and her sons Brandon
and Dylan
Rating: X
Pilot: Pammy and Kid get it on all day and all night and then find time to take the kids to the
park.
Emerging star of the show: Even though she's had a breast reduction, Pammy's two main
"assets" get all of the limelight.
------------------
Jessica
"I turn slightly and catch Bono with half a Perrier bottle in his mouth. He's sucking the thing in such a manner it would put Madonna to shame!"
"I'm very secure with the fact that I'm not black. I'm white, pink and rosy. But I've got soul."
--Bono
?We make music you can have sex to.?
--Bono
"Girls boys listen me kiss love fun drink sick kiss cuddle sex swim sea rock and rub." (from the gates of Bono's house)
