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Old 12-21-2001, 03:34 AM   #1
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TAMALE Magazine is back!!!

What, you didn't think Tamale Magazine was ALL smut, didja?

ALL OF PLEBA: We thought that was the POINT!

ECHO: *cough* Well...em...Okay but look, Tamale also has a Fashion section! Have a look at this month's issue:





And no issue of Tamale would be complete without one shot where he just looks like a complete tart:



I'll whip up some more later if I feel like it. Enjoy.

------------------
*Echo the Pimpstress* ... Proud Owner of Animatronic Edge!

This is it! I've been waiting two hours for this! It's a revolution! Blood runs! Flags wave! Come on everybody, throw down your tools and throw up a barricade! Run into the Winter Palace and stand on the tables waving bits of paper at each other! "Hello, are you the Czar?" "Yes, I am actually." BLAM BLAM! Ha ha! Tough luck, FASCIST! That's what happens to people who aren't working class!

Bono-Man! An Epic Superhero Adventure!

The Official PLEBA Glossary: Delicious AND Nutritious!

[This message has been edited by Echo (edited 12-21-2001).]
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Old 12-21-2001, 03:54 AM   #2
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HOORAY!!! TAMALE!!!!!

But...where is the cover!?
The sponsors will be OUTRAGED!! OUTRAGED!!
*gasp*

Maybe I'll do an interview tommorow for this month's issue...or hey, let's just do one tonight.

*Intrepid Girl Reporter (and slutty bridesmaid) Bluey shows up at the doorstep of this month's cover-boy, rings the door bell, and falls asleep in a planter*

Or...maybe it's time for bed. Yes...time for bed.

-Bluey
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Old 12-21-2001, 08:54 AM   #3
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LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Those are good cept for the 2nd one....Edge's head doesn't fit on a body builder's body lmao but it sure makes it funny as hell

------------------
The U2 revolution has been reinstated.

THE Larry Mullen Jr. Page
http://www.geocities.com/kiti_regia/index.html

Meeting Larry:
*MG shows Larry poster*
*Larry reads poster*
*Larry smiles and says "Thank you that's very nice of you"*
*Larry signs paper, shakes MG's hand*
*MG almost dies then sees tearaway pants and gets bad ideas*
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Old 12-21-2001, 08:59 AM   #4
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Edge looks HOT!!!!

Yowza!

------------------
If you are really good friends with The Edge, you can just call him The~ Adam

The right side of my brain is kinda redundant~ Larry
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Old 12-21-2001, 09:04 AM   #5
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*THUD* Whara sexy look dammit!
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Old 12-21-2001, 09:05 AM   #6
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OMG! Look at the size of his feet *wink wink*

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Old 12-21-2001, 10:03 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally posted by Ana:

OMG! Look at the size of his feet *wink wink*

*is scandalised*

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Old 12-21-2001, 11:13 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally posted by Echo:


Edge looks like a cheesy '70s porn star!



------------------
Jessica

"I turn slightly and catch Bono with half a Perrier bottle in his mouth. He's sucking the thing in such a manner it would put Madonna to shame!"

"I'm very secure with the fact that I'm not black. I'm white, pink and rosy. But I've got soul."
--Bono

We make music you can have sex to.
--Bono

"Girls boys listen me kiss love fun drink sick kiss cuddle sex swim sea rock and rub." (from the gates of Bono's house)
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Old 12-21-2001, 01:10 PM   #9
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*And now...for a new feature in TAMALE magazine for PLEBA girls...
ASK DR. BLUEY*


Welcome PLEBA girls, to TAMALE'S advice collumn, where we dispense advice like Scottphistos from a broken vending machine...and now to answer your questions...Dr. Bluey.

Dear Dr. Bluey,
I have my eye on a certain bass player. He's hot, hip, and British...my question is: What's the best way to get his attention and win his love forever?
, Maria.


Well "Maria", I get letters like this all the time. My advice is the same for you as it is for all the other girls...strip and run onstage during a concert. Once you're up there, security will be pretty hesistant to grab you due to the possible "sexual harrasment" lawsuit that you could try to press if they touched you when you were naked, but most importantly... Adam, I mean..."mystery bassist man" will be impressed by your hot bod and your willingness to engage in such free-spirited pursuits as public nudity. Just get up there and shake your groove thang(s). He'll be yours in no time, especially if you spray yourself with "Pam" or some sort of cooking oil, it make you shine under the lights and it makes you harder to apprehend once security decides to pursue you... as they will.

Dear Dr. Bluey,
Sometimes I have trouble keeping myself from blurting things out in public, such as "BOOOYEAH!" and "TAMALE!" and "ELEVATION ELONGATION!!!!!" and even "OH YEAH BABY...WORK THOSE SLEEVES". This is highly embarassing in church. What can I do?
Sincerly,
-Uncontrollable.


Well, Mona...we've all been there. You are suffering from what we professionals like to call "PLEBA-Induced Tourette's Syndrome". PITS is a serious, but treatable condition...you may either self medicate with many martinis and a handfull of sleeping pills, or you may explore a number of more...active alternatives. For example, you may harass burly construction workers with your newfound colourful vocabulary, go to a noisy nightclub and scream all you want over the crappy music (I mean no one is going to complain if you actually DO drown out Jennifer Lopez' "music"), or the most successfull solution is to purchase a Scottphisto and take your tension out on him. He's only .65 and avaliable at a vending machine near you. He's cheap, he's convienient, and he's disposable.
Hope that helped!

Dear Dr. Bluey,
I'm the lead singer of a very successful rock and roll band. Some female fans have been talking about us on a certain website that I shall not name...they keep fighting over the length of my hair and it tears me apart, I tell you. Just tears me apart.
What can I do to stop the madness?
Sincerly,
-"Bunu"


Dear "Bunu",
I'm so glad you wrote to me, because I have several suggestions.
First of all, in the future, all your pictures must be nude. No one will fight over your hair then,...well, not the hair on your head. Secondly, STOP DROOLING OVER BEYONCE!! SHE'S NOT ALL THAT!!! STOP!!!!
Ahem. Thirdly, to quell the disruption, you must use what we call "postitive reinforcement" for your fans. Everytime they avoid a disagreement in a mature fashion, you have to promise to undo one of Larry's buttons. Hell, just rip the button off and throw it away.
Hope that helped.

Thanks for writing in, PLEBA girls!
Please check TAMALE next month for more of "Ask Dr. Bluey".

Disclaimer: Dr. Bluey is not a real doctor. She is not even a real person, she is a cat with fabulous language comprehension and the ability to type.
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Old 12-21-2001, 01:20 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally posted by blueeyes:
Dear Dr. Bluey,
I'm the lead singer of a very successful rock and roll band. Some female fans have been talking about us on a certain website that I shall not name...they keep fighting over the length of my hair and it tears me apart, I tell you. Just tears me apart.
What can I do to stop the madness?
Sincerly,
-"Bunu"

Bunu????

BWAAAHAAAHAAA!!!!!


------------------
"I don't know you,
But you don't know the half of it..."


[This message has been edited by Bonochick (edited 12-21-2001).]
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Old 12-21-2001, 01:36 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally posted by blueeyes:
*And now...for a new feature in TAMALE magazine for PLEBA girls...
ASK DR. BLUEY*

LMFAO



------------------
"The idea is to eroticize the male body instead of the female." - Bono

"Well, again, within that spirit of not-seriousness.....
To all intents and purposes, the mystery and power of the penis is, what will it become?" - Adam
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Old 12-21-2001, 01:38 PM   #12
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Bluey, you are the funniest person that I have ever met (Not that I have ever met you, but you know what I mean....)

I love Pleba, and Pleba Girls!!!
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Old 12-21-2001, 03:33 PM   #13
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Dr. Bluey-

I can't choose between the man and his pants!
What's your advice?

*Desparate for his Dungarees, Pittsburgh*
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Old 12-21-2001, 03:43 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally posted by elizabeth:
Dr. Bluey-

I can't choose between the man and his pants!
What's your advice?

*Desparate for his Dungarees, Pittsburgh*
Dear "Dungarees",
It's all very simple. First you take his pants...then you take the man. If he is modest, he will follow you for his pants. If he is not shy...chances are you can "have your cake and eat it too" ...so to speak. You are in the best possible predicament. Just don't give his pants back under any circumstances.


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Old 12-21-2001, 03:51 PM   #15
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Originally posted by Mullen-Girl:


Dear Dr. Bluey,
I've been having problems putting up with buttons hitting my eyes, the buttons off of Larry's shirts. How can I deal with this?

Blinded by buttons

Dear "Blinded",
Haven't you heard the song..."love is blindness"? To be with a super hot sexy Mofo, you have to be willing to make a couple concessions...ironically, one of them may be your eyesight. This phenomenon is surprisingly common and is termed "Really Ultra-hotness Blindness" or RUB.
But never fear...there are many solutions to your predicament. For example you could invest in a variety of sexy welder's masks and refuse to take them off until the shirt is gone. You could also insist that your man cover his buttons with "button cozies"...small knitted button covers that soften the blow...so to speak (wink, wink). Alternatively, you could cover his entire chestal area with something to prevent the buttons from flying off...For example, you could duct tape a bassist to him when the man is not "in use".
Finally, the simplest and most effective solution to RUB is just to keep him naked.
Hope that helped, and good optical health to you!
-Dr. Bluey
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Old 12-21-2001, 04:08 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally posted by Gina Marie:

Dear Dr. Bluey,

How can I cure my obsession w/ Larry's 'man-cleavage' and Edge's bedazzled pants?


Dear "anonymous happy face",
Perhaps giving yourself a name and not just a symbol would help...Look at the artist formerly known as "Prince". It confuses men to scream "Oh....happy face!" During intercourse.
Ahem. To address your question... I am familliar with your plight, and it is a sad one indeed that afflicts many PLEBA girls. The technical term for this horrible affliction is "Man-cleavage Affective Universalis Love" or MAUL, for short.
MAUL is a disorder marked by excessive drooling in the presence of man cleavage, the urge to touch or bite the man cleavage and a general underlying fixation with cleavage of the male variety.
There has been a shortage of research into MAUL due to a trend of many researchers themselves developing MAUL while trying to keep abreast of the situation.
The current recommended treatment for MAUL is to find a good solid councillor and a MAUL support group to nuture you in your recovery process. You must not allow yourself to be divided or conflicted during this time, as any distractions will just create a nipple, or rather a ripple effect in your life. Best of luck to you with that, happy face.
As for the obsession with Edge's pants, happily that is much more easily remidied. You must run on stage and steal The Edge's pants. Just yank them right off. In fact, plotting to shang-hi The Edge's pants may serve as a pleasant and constructive hobby while you recover from MAUL. Just jump on stage and grab his tiny ass and rastle him to the ground, (ignoring Larry's man cleavage of course) and just rip 'em right off. Run.
For additional tips please see the advice I gave "dungarees".
Hope that helped!
-Dr. Bluey
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Old 12-21-2001, 04:31 PM   #17
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mwhahahahaha!, those are great!

(btw, hello all!, its nice to be here )

------------------
--U2002revolution
(not-a-newbie)

U2: Rock's Unbreakable Heart!


[This message has been edited by U2002revolution! (edited 12-21-2001).]

[This message has been edited by U2002revolution! (edited 12-21-2001).]
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Old 12-21-2001, 04:44 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally posted by blueeyes:
*And now...for a new feature in TAMALE magazine for PLEBA girls...
ASK DR. BLUEY*


Dear Dr. Bluey,
I have my eye on a certain bass player. He's hot, hip, and British...my question is: What's the best way to get his attention and win his love forever?
, Maria.


Well "Maria", I get letters like this all the time. My advice is the same for you as it is for all the other girls...strip and run onstage during a concert. Once you're up there, security will be pretty hesistant to grab you due to the possible "sexual harrasment" lawsuit that you could try to press if they touched you when you were naked, but most importantly... Adam, I mean..."mystery bassist man" will be impressed by your hot bod and your willingness to engage in such free-spirited pursuits as public nudity. Just get up there and shake your groove thang(s). He'll be yours in no time, especially if you spray yourself with "Pam" or some sort of cooking oil, it make you shine under the lights and it makes you harder to apprehend once security decides to pursue you... as they will.
ROFL.....
Dr Bluey, thank you for your wonderful advice!


------------------
"I think the psychology of the bass player is interesting. If you've chosen that instrument you've decided in a way that your role is to support, to make everyone else feel confident" - Adam

sunlight, sunlight fills my room
it's sharp and it's clear
but nothing at all like the moon..."


*+*MaRiA*+*

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Old 12-21-2001, 04:52 PM   #19
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Dear Dr. Bluey,

I seem to have a problem (some may call it an obsession) with men in white makeup, wearing gold lame suits and devil horns and drinking martinis. This sexy devil man keeps invading my thoughts during the day and my dreams at night. What am I to do?

From,
I'm Having a Mac Attack

------------------
Jessica

"I turn slightly and catch Bono with half a Perrier bottle in his mouth. He's sucking the thing in such a manner it would put Madonna to shame!"

"I'm very secure with the fact that I'm not black. I'm white, pink and rosy. But I've got soul."
--Bono

We make music you can have sex to.
--Bono

"Girls boys listen me kiss love fun drink sick kiss cuddle sex swim sea rock and rub." (from the gates of Bono's house)
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Old 12-21-2001, 05:02 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally posted by JessicaAnn:
Dear Dr. Bluey,

I seem to have a problem (some may call it an obsession) with men in white makeup, wearing gold lame suits and devil horns and drinking martinis. This sexy devil man keeps invading my thoughts during the day and my dreams at night. What am I to do?

From,
I'm Having a Mac Attack

Dear "I'm Having",
I'm happy to tell you that the solution to your problem is very simple.
Stay Away.
Just stay far, far, away from him.
That's right...go find someone else, okay? Yeah..yeah...that's it! How about The Edge, or Paul McGuinness? Huh? Back off woman, I'm warning you. Wait a minute..is that YOU Bona!? Oh, nevermind.
Oh, what's that? What's that? You want some of THIS!? BRING IT ON!!! Yeah you, bring it girly! You don't scare me!!! I'll bitch slap you back to grade three!
That's right, you run...run away...heh, heh, heh
Woo, I'm ready for another white prozac!
Ahem....I'm calm now. Okay...
What I meant to say was...your attraction to this delicious, suave, glittering...Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Oh, sorry, where was I? Yes, quite...
Your attraction to this Macphisto *sigh* is very unhealthy. Very bad. You should stop. Really. Now.
Macphisto is very tricky and should only be handled by experts in the field...like me.

Actually, in all seriousness, the ONLY way to get over this Macphisto obsession is to find him. Yes, go find him right now. Go. Just get in your car with some rope and go. When you find him, tie him up and bring him to me IMMEDIATELY. Don't stop anywhere, don't touch him or even talk to him...just keep him safe, tied up, and blindfolded...yeah, blindfolded. Hmmmm. Oh, sorry! Anyway, once you have delievered him to me, I will have to take care of him from there, and you will be uhhhh, cured. Yeah, that's it...cured.
I'm sorry, but it's the only way.

-Dr. Ummm, *looks at name tage on her white coat* Oh, yeah...Bluey

--------------------
p.s. JessicaAnn, you rule and I hope I didn't scare you. It is all meant in fun of course! Hugs. Lol.


[This message has been edited by blueeyes (edited 12-21-2001).]
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