TAMALE Magazine is back!!!

The friendliest place on the web for anyone that follows U2.
If you have answers, please help by responding to the unanswered posts.

Echo

War Child
Joined
Oct 3, 2001
Messages
769
Location
The Echosphere
What, you didn't think Tamale Magazine was ALL smut, didja?

ALL OF PLEBA: We thought that was the POINT!

ECHO: *cough* Well...em...Okay but look, Tamale also has a Fashion section! Have a look at this month's issue:

9t53212.jpg


9k76732.jpg


And no issue of Tamale would be complete without one shot where he just looks like a complete tart:

9k35165.jpg


I'll whip up some more later if I feel like it. Enjoy.

------------------
*Echo the Pimpstress* ... Proud Owner of Animatronic Edge!

This is it! I've been waiting two hours for this! It's a revolution! Blood runs! Flags wave! Come on everybody, throw down your tools and throw up a barricade! Run into the Winter Palace and stand on the tables waving bits of paper at each other! "Hello, are you the Czar?" "Yes, I am actually." BLAM BLAM! Ha ha! Tough luck, FASCIST! That's what happens to people who aren't working class!

Bono-Man! An Epic Superhero Adventure!

The Official PLEBA Glossary: Delicious AND Nutritious!

[This message has been edited by Echo (edited 12-21-2001).]
 
HOORAY!!! TAMALE!!!!!

But...where is the cover!?
The sponsors will be OUTRAGED!! OUTRAGED!!
*gasp*

Maybe I'll do an interview tommorow for this month's issue...or hey, let's just do one tonight.

*Intrepid Girl Reporter (and slutty bridesmaid) Bluey shows up at the doorstep of this month's cover-boy, rings the door bell, and falls asleep in a planter*

Or...maybe it's time for bed. Yes...time for bed.

-Bluey
 
LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Those are good cept for the 2nd one....Edge's head doesn't fit on a body builder's body lmao
biggrin.gif
but it sure makes it funny as hell

------------------
The U2 revolution has been reinstated.

THE Larry Mullen Jr. Page
http://www.geocities.com/kiti_regia/index.html

Meeting Larry:
*MG shows Larry poster*
*Larry reads poster*
*Larry smiles and says "Thank you that's very nice of you"*
*Larry signs paper, shakes MG's hand*
*MG almost dies then sees tearaway pants and gets bad ideas*
 
Edge looks HOT!!!!

Yowza!
eek.gif


------------------
If you are really good friends with The Edge, you can just call him The~ Adam

The right side of my brain is kinda redundant~ Larry
 
Originally posted by Echo:

9k76732.jpg


Edge looks like a cheesy '70s porn star!



------------------
Jessica

"I turn slightly and catch Bono with half a Perrier bottle in his mouth. He's sucking the thing in such a manner it would put Madonna to shame!"

"I'm very secure with the fact that I'm not black. I'm white, pink and rosy. But I've got soul."
--Bono

?We make music you can have sex to.?
--Bono

"Girls boys listen me kiss love fun drink sick kiss cuddle sex swim sea rock and rub." (from the gates of Bono's house)
 
*And now...for a new feature in TAMALE magazine for PLEBA girls...
ASK DR. BLUEY*


Welcome PLEBA girls, to TAMALE'S advice collumn, where we dispense advice like Scottphistos from a broken vending machine...and now to answer your questions...Dr. Bluey.

Dear Dr. Bluey,
I have my eye on a certain bass player. He's hot, hip, and British...my question is: What's the best way to get his attention and win his love forever?
, Maria.


Well "Maria", I get letters like this all the time. My advice is the same for you as it is for all the other girls...strip and run onstage during a concert. Once you're up there, security will be pretty hesistant to grab you due to the possible "sexual harrasment" lawsuit that you could try to press if they touched you when you were naked, but most importantly... Adam, I mean..."mystery bassist man" will be impressed by your hot bod and your willingness to engage in such free-spirited pursuits as public nudity. Just get up there and shake your groove thang(s). He'll be yours in no time, especially if you spray yourself with "Pam" or some sort of cooking oil, it make you shine under the lights and it makes you harder to apprehend once security decides to pursue you... as they will.

Dear Dr. Bluey,
Sometimes I have trouble keeping myself from blurting things out in public, such as "BOOOYEAH!" and "TAMALE!" and "ELEVATION ELONGATION!!!!!" and even "OH YEAH BABY...WORK THOSE SLEEVES". This is highly embarassing in church. What can I do?
Sincerly,
-Uncontrollable.


Well, Mona...we've all been there. You are suffering from what we professionals like to call "PLEBA-Induced Tourette's Syndrome". PITS is a serious, but treatable condition...you may either self medicate with many martinis and a handfull of sleeping pills, or you may explore a number of more...active alternatives. For example, you may harass burly construction workers with your newfound colourful vocabulary, go to a noisy nightclub and scream all you want over the crappy music (I mean no one is going to complain if you actually DO drown out Jennifer Lopez' "music"), or the most successfull solution is to purchase a Scottphisto and take your tension out on him. He's only .65 and avaliable at a vending machine near you. He's cheap, he's convienient, and he's disposable.
Hope that helped!

Dear Dr. Bluey,
I'm the lead singer of a very successful rock and roll band. Some female fans have been talking about us on a certain website that I shall not name...they keep fighting over the length of my hair and it tears me apart, I tell you. Just tears me apart.
What can I do to stop the madness?
Sincerly,
-"Bunu"


Dear "Bunu",
I'm so glad you wrote to me, because I have several suggestions.
First of all, in the future, all your pictures must be nude. No one will fight over your hair then,...well, not the hair on your head. Secondly, STOP DROOLING OVER BEYONCE!! SHE'S NOT ALL THAT!!! STOP!!!!
Ahem. Thirdly, to quell the disruption, you must use what we call "postitive reinforcement" for your fans. Everytime they avoid a disagreement in a mature fashion, you have to promise to undo one of Larry's buttons. Hell, just rip the button off and throw it away.
Hope that helped.

Thanks for writing in, PLEBA girls!
Please check TAMALE next month for more of "Ask Dr. Bluey".

Disclaimer: Dr. Bluey is not a real doctor. She is not even a real person, she is a cat with fabulous language comprehension and the ability to type.
 
Originally posted by blueeyes:
Dear Dr. Bluey,
I'm the lead singer of a very successful rock and roll band. Some female fans have been talking about us on a certain website that I shall not name...they keep fighting over the length of my hair and it tears me apart, I tell you. Just tears me apart.
What can I do to stop the madness?
Sincerly,
-"Bunu"


Bunu????

BWAAAHAAAHAAA!!!!!


------------------
"I don't know you,
But you don't know the half of it..."


[This message has been edited by Bonochick (edited 12-21-2001).]
 
Originally posted by blueeyes:
*And now...for a new feature in TAMALE magazine for PLEBA girls...
ASK DR. BLUEY*


LMFAO

falloutofchairsmiley.gif


------------------
"The idea is to eroticize the male body instead of the female." - Bono

"Well, again, within that spirit of not-seriousness.....
To all intents and purposes, the mystery and power of the penis is, what will it become?" - Adam
 
Originally posted by elizabeth:
Dr. Bluey-

I can't choose between the man and his pants!
What's your advice?

*Desparate for his Dungarees, Pittsburgh*

Dear "Dungarees",
It's all very simple. First you take his pants...then you take the man. If he is modest, he will follow you for his pants. If he is not shy...chances are you can "have your cake and eat it too" ...so to speak. You are in the best possible predicament. Just don't give his pants back under any circumstances.
 
Originally posted by Mullen-Girl:


Dear Dr. Bluey,
I've been having problems putting up with buttons hitting my eyes, the buttons off of Larry's shirts. How can I deal with this?

Blinded by buttons


Dear "Blinded",
Haven't you heard the song..."love is blindness"? To be with a super hot sexy Mofo, you have to be willing to make a couple concessions...ironically, one of them may be your eyesight. This phenomenon is surprisingly common and is termed "Really Ultra-hotness Blindness" or RUB.
But never fear...there are many solutions to your predicament. For example you could invest in a variety of sexy welder's masks and refuse to take them off until the shirt is gone. You could also insist that your man cover his buttons with "button cozies"...small knitted button covers that soften the blow...so to speak (wink, wink). Alternatively, you could cover his entire chestal area with something to prevent the buttons from flying off...For example, you could duct tape a bassist to him when the man is not "in use".
Finally, the simplest and most effective solution to RUB is just to keep him naked.
Hope that helped, and good optical health to you!
-Dr. Bluey
 
Originally posted by Gina Marie:

Dear Dr. Bluey,

How can I cure my obsession w/ Larry's 'man-cleavage' and Edge's bedazzled pants?
biggrin.gif



Dear "anonymous happy face",
Perhaps giving yourself a name and not just a symbol would help...Look at the artist formerly known as "Prince". It confuses men to scream "Oh....happy face!" During intercourse.
Ahem. To address your question... I am familliar with your plight, and it is a sad one indeed that afflicts many PLEBA girls. The technical term for this horrible affliction is "Man-cleavage Affective Universalis Love" or MAUL, for short.
MAUL is a disorder marked by excessive drooling in the presence of man cleavage, the urge to touch or bite the man cleavage and a general underlying fixation with cleavage of the male variety.
There has been a shortage of research into MAUL due to a trend of many researchers themselves developing MAUL while trying to keep abreast of the situation.
The current recommended treatment for MAUL is to find a good solid councillor and a MAUL support group to nuture you in your recovery process. You must not allow yourself to be divided or conflicted during this time, as any distractions will just create a nipple, or rather a ripple effect in your life. Best of luck to you with that, happy face.
As for the obsession with Edge's pants, happily that is much more easily remidied. You must run on stage and steal The Edge's pants. Just yank them right off. In fact, plotting to shang-hi The Edge's pants may serve as a pleasant and constructive hobby while you recover from MAUL. Just jump on stage and grab his tiny ass and rastle him to the ground, (ignoring Larry's man cleavage of course) and just rip 'em right off. Run.
For additional tips please see the advice I gave "dungarees".
Hope that helped!
-Dr. Bluey
 
mwhahahahaha!, those are great!

(btw, hello all!, its nice to be here
biggrin.gif
)

------------------
--U2002revolution
(not-a-newbie)

U2: Rock's Unbreakable Heart!


[This message has been edited by U2002revolution! (edited 12-21-2001).]

[This message has been edited by U2002revolution! (edited 12-21-2001).]
 
Originally posted by blueeyes:
*And now...for a new feature in TAMALE magazine for PLEBA girls...
ASK DR. BLUEY*


Dear Dr. Bluey,
I have my eye on a certain bass player. He's hot, hip, and British...my question is: What's the best way to get his attention and win his love forever?
, Maria.


Well "Maria", I get letters like this all the time. My advice is the same for you as it is for all the other girls...strip and run onstage during a concert. Once you're up there, security will be pretty hesistant to grab you due to the possible "sexual harrasment" lawsuit that you could try to press if they touched you when you were naked, but most importantly... Adam, I mean..."mystery bassist man" will be impressed by your hot bod and your willingness to engage in such free-spirited pursuits as public nudity. Just get up there and shake your groove thang(s). He'll be yours in no time, especially if you spray yourself with "Pam" or some sort of cooking oil, it make you shine under the lights and it makes you harder to apprehend once security decides to pursue you... as they will.
ROFL.....
rotfl.gif

Dr Bluey, thank you for your wonderful advice!
biggrin.gif



------------------
"I think the psychology of the bass player is interesting. If you've chosen that instrument you've decided in a way that your role is to support, to make everyone else feel confident" - Adam

sunlight, sunlight fills my room
it's sharp and it's clear
but nothing at all like the moon..."


*+*MaRiA*+*

U2 Photo Album
 
Dear Dr. Bluey,

I seem to have a problem (some may call it an obsession) with men in white makeup, wearing gold lame suits and devil horns and drinking martinis. This sexy devil man keeps invading my thoughts during the day and my dreams at night. What am I to do?

From,
I'm Having a Mac Attack

------------------
Jessica

"I turn slightly and catch Bono with half a Perrier bottle in his mouth. He's sucking the thing in such a manner it would put Madonna to shame!"

"I'm very secure with the fact that I'm not black. I'm white, pink and rosy. But I've got soul."
--Bono

?We make music you can have sex to.?
--Bono

"Girls boys listen me kiss love fun drink sick kiss cuddle sex swim sea rock and rub." (from the gates of Bono's house)
 
Originally posted by JessicaAnn:
Dear Dr. Bluey,

I seem to have a problem (some may call it an obsession) with men in white makeup, wearing gold lame suits and devil horns and drinking martinis. This sexy devil man keeps invading my thoughts during the day and my dreams at night. What am I to do?

From,
I'm Having a Mac Attack


Dear "I'm Having",
I'm happy to tell you that the solution to your problem is very simple.
Stay Away.
Just stay far, far, away from him.
That's right...go find someone else, okay? Yeah..yeah...that's it! How about The Edge, or Paul McGuinness? Huh? Back off woman, I'm warning you. Wait a minute..is that YOU Bona!? Oh, nevermind.
Oh, what's that? What's that? You want some of THIS!? BRING IT ON!!! Yeah you, bring it girly! You don't scare me!!! I'll bitch slap you back to grade three!
That's right, you run...run away...heh, heh, heh
Woo, I'm ready for another white prozac!
Ahem....I'm calm now. Okay...
What I meant to say was...your attraction to this delicious, suave, glittering...Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Oh, sorry, where was I? Yes, quite...
Your attraction to this Macphisto *sigh* is very unhealthy. Very bad. You should stop. Really. Now.
Macphisto is very tricky and should only be handled by experts in the field...like me.

Actually, in all seriousness, the ONLY way to get over this Macphisto obsession is to find him. Yes, go find him right now. Go. Just get in your car with some rope and go. When you find him, tie him up and bring him to me IMMEDIATELY. Don't stop anywhere, don't touch him or even talk to him...just keep him safe, tied up, and blindfolded...yeah, blindfolded. Hmmmm. Oh, sorry! Anyway, once you have delievered him to me, I will have to take care of him from there, and you will be uhhhh, cured. Yeah, that's it...cured.
I'm sorry, but it's the only way.

-Dr. Ummm, *looks at name tage on her white coat* Oh, yeah...Bluey

--------------------
p.s. JessicaAnn, you rule and I hope I didn't scare you. It is all meant in fun of course! Hugs. Lol.
biggrin.gif



[This message has been edited by blueeyes (edited 12-21-2001).]
 
Originally posted by JessicaAnn:
Edge looks like a cheesy '70s porn star!

*is trying to figure out if this goes in Larry's complaint box*

biggrin.gif
Better not!

------------------
~*Mona*~ Secretary of Scandalization

97% compatible with Bono

Love me, give me soul.

A little less circuitry,
a little more poetry.


"For the good of the nation, you must defile Bono!" ~Echo~

The Latin Americans have the sexy end[of Catholicism]~BonoBaby~

"Aren't you afraid someone will eat your foot???" ~ScottPhisto~
 
Originally posted by blueeyes:
Dear Dr. Bluey,
Sometimes I have trouble keeping myself from blurting things out in public, such as "BOOOYEAH!" and "TAMALE!" and "ELEVATION ELONGATION!!!!!" and even "OH YEAH BABY...WORK THOSE SLEEVES". This is highly embarassing in church. What can I do?
Sincerly,
-Uncontrollable.


Well, Mona...we've all been there. You are suffering from what we professionals like to call "PLEBA-Induced Tourette's Syndrome". PITS is a serious, but treatable condition...you may either self medicate with many martinis and a handfull of sleeping pills, or you may explore a number of more...active alternatives. For example, you may harass burly construction workers with your newfound colourful vocabulary, go to a noisy nightclub and scream all you want over the crappy music (I mean no one is going to complain if you actually DO drown out Jennifer Lopez' "music"), or the most successfull solution is to purchase a Scottphisto and take your tension out on him. He's only .65 and avaliable at a vending machine near you. He's cheap, he's convienient, and he's disposable.
Hope that helped!

O_O *blush asaurus rex* LMAO Hey how'd you know it was ME? I didn't even sign my name! Lol...I suffer from PITS...

O MY at the self-medicating part *innuendo*
wink.gif


------------------
~*Mona*~ Secretary of Scandalization

97% compatible with Bono

Love me, give me soul.

A little less circuitry,
a little more poetry.


"For the good of the nation, you must defile Bono!" ~Echo~

The Latin Americans have the sexy end[of Catholicism]~BonoBaby~

"Aren't you afraid someone will eat your foot???" ~ScottPhisto~
 
Originally posted by blueeyes:
Dear "anonymous happy face",
Perhaps giving yourself a name and not just a symbol would help...Look at the artist formerly known as "Prince". It confuses men to scream "Oh....happy face!" During intercourse.

"Man-cleavage Affective Universalis Love" or MAUL, for short.

You must run on stage and steal The Edge's pants. Just yank them right off. Just jump on stage and grab his tiny ass and rastle him to the ground,

LMAO!!!!! Bluey makes me wanna be a doctor! *sigh* But I'm just a secretary...and a janitor...

------------------
~*Mona*~ Secretary of Scandalization

97% compatible with Bono

Love me, give me soul.

A little less circuitry,
a little more poetry.


"For the good of the nation, you must defile Bono!" ~Echo~

The Latin Americans have the sexy end[of Catholicism]~BonoBaby~

"Aren't you afraid someone will eat your foot???" ~ScottPhisto~
 
Dear Dr. Bluey:

I'm desperate for your advice. Lately I've been drooling and lusting over one particular 41yearsold-white-feelslikeabrother-irish-sexy-sweet man.
My question is:
Where can I find a bucket big enough to contain all my saliva without spilling out?

Respectfully
*Slurpy*
 
*What would a "woman's" magazine be without the obligatory complicated and useless recipe for something you would never make in a MILLION years?...I bring you...The TAMALE cooking corner with Chef Bluey*

Today we'll be making Lemon Vodka Cake...
332%3B%3B%3A4323232%7Ffp7%3Enu%3D3234%3E%3A%3A4%3E683%3EWSNRCG%3D323237653553%3Anu0mrj

This delicious cake is perfect for dining, enertaining, or just eating alone in front of your television when you're really depressed because your life is going nowhere and you're thousands of dollars in debt and you just cut your hair like Uma Thurman and you wish you could grow it back like one of those barbies with the windy thing in their backs that let their stupid long hair out when you turned it and WHY won't he call? WHY WON'T HE F*CKING CALL!?
This cake is perfect for that

You will need:
-3 lemons
-5 cups flour
-4 cups sugar
-2 tsp vanilla
-4 eggs
-1/2 cup cream
-1/2 cup vodka.

Mix the flour and the sugar together with a pinch of salt. Go to the computer and check PLEBA. Get flour all over the keyboard. Go back to kitchen and crack the eggs into a bowl. Open the vodka...smell the vodka. Go ahead and just sample the vodka to make sure it's okay. Go back to PLEBA and find that article where Edge drinks a bottle of Vodka. Return to kitchen...whip the eggs. Run back to PLEBA and start a post about Larry "whipping" his eggs. Check the vodka again, just to make sure it hasn't gone stale. Giggle. Return to kitchen, loose track of where you are in recipe. Return to recipe. Measure out the vodka into a measuring cup. Spill the vodka. Oh, now you can't use that vodka, you have to drink it. Drink the 1/2 cup of vodka and pour another. If you poured a little too much or a little too not so much...jusht drink that one too. Oh yeah. Oh..lemonsh...where are those lemonsh? Shhhhing Lemon at the top of yer lungs, you are, really a GREAT Shinger! You should be a professhinnal shinger!!! You could be a SHTAR!!Find the lemonshh and shqueeze him...I mean...them. Stumble to PLEEEEbAAA and type something about sqeeezung shome lemonsh. Find kitchen. Dechide that hell, just drink the vodka down to the half a cup line on the bottle and use THAT in the cookies or whatever the f*ck this junky white shtuff is in the..you know...the stuff holding thing. Get a spoon. Laugh...Adam likes spoons! GO back to PLEBA and forget why you went there. Hell, try to take the computer to the kitchen, realize that there are all shorts of wires and shit back there...Ahhh, screw it! Move the bowl of flour and the eggs and lemons beshide the computer and check PLEBA again with your bottle of vodka...Fluff the dust in the bowl with one hand and type with the other. Bono is WHAT!? NO WAY!!! Mix the lemons and peel the eggs. Add a bottle of vanilla to the flour use that mixxy thing to ...you know...Oh, you should go check PLEBA. Fall alseep in front of the cumpumpter with the empty bottle of vodka. Dream of Mishter Macphishto...all is well.

Serves: 8.
 
LMAO sooo bad Bluey!
Hey,
How can I start looking at tamales as a food again?


------------------
"The idea is to eroticize the male body instead of the female." - Bono

"Well, again, within that spirit of not-seriousness.....
To all intents and purposes, the mystery and power of the penis is, what will it become?" - Adam
 
Originally posted by On The Edge:
LMAO sooo bad Bluey!
Hey,
How can I start looking at tamales as a food again?


Tamales = aphrodisiac for the 21st Century. (The PLEBA Age....)


------------------
~*Mona*~ Secretary of Scandalization

97% compatible with Bono

Love me, give me soul.

A little less circuitry,
a little more poetry.


"For the good of the nation, you must defile Bono!" ~Echo~

The Latin Americans have the sexy end[of Catholicism]~BonoBaby~

"Aren't you afraid someone will eat your foot???" ~ScottPhisto~
 
Originally posted by blueeyes:
Dear "Dungarees",
It's all very simple. First you take his pants...then you take the man. If he is modest, he will follow you for his pants. If he is not shy...chances are you can "have your cake and eat it too" ...so to speak. You are in the best possible predicament. Just don't give his pants back under any circumstances.


i love cake.
 
lemons.jpg
YE STOLE ME RECIPE!!!!!!!

------------------
~*Mona*~ Secretary of Scandalization

97% compatible with Bono

Love me, give me soul.

A little less circuitry,
a little more poetry.


"For the good of the nation, you must defile Bono!" ~Echo~

The Latin Americans have the sexy end[of Catholicism]~BonoBaby~

"Aren't you afraid someone will eat your foot???" ~ScottPhisto~
 
OMG, THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THREAD EVER!!! I'm laughing so hard, I have tears!!! First this:
9k35165.jpg

eek.gif
I WANT TARTY EDGE!!!! *guffaw!*

Then, "Dear Dr. Bluey!" And um..."Bunu"????
biggrin.gif


Here's my own letter:

Dear Dr. Bluey:

I'm a hip, happenin kinda gal, even if I am the oldest one in the gals I hang out with (on line at least). I am *desperate* for LEATHER and BEDAZZLED pants but neither seem to like me s much as I like them...what's a girl to do???

Signed Pantless and *panting*


Golly. I hope Dr. Bluey answers me!

Bwahahaha....I hope this thread gives Elevated "Bunu" a run for his money!!

*Note to self: New Year's resolution: be sure to renew subscription to Tamale!!!*


Originally posted by blueeyes:
*And now...for a new feature in TAMALE magazine for PLEBA girls...
ASK DR. BLUEY*


Dear Dr. Bluey,
I'm the lead singer of a very successful rock and roll band. Some female fans have been talking about us on a certain website that I shall not name...they keep fighting over the length of my hair and it tears me apart, I tell you. Just tears me apart.
What can I do to stop the madness?
Sincerly,
-"Bunu"



[This message has been edited by Discoteque (edited 12-21-2001).]
 
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