OK This one turned out quite different from my other plays. I tried to add a bit of comic relief, though.
SCOTTPHISTO: I PROVIDE RELIEF!! WOO!
Em...ok on with the show. It's about being the Secretary of Scandalization for the SPS. What a soap opera life I lead....
************************************
You're dangerous 'cause you're honest
You're dangerous, you don't know what you want
Well you left my heart empty as a vacant lot
For any spirit to haunt
Hey hey sha la la
Hey hey
You're an accident waiting to happen
You're a piece of glass left there on the beach
Well you tell me things I know you're not supposed to
Then you leave me just out of reach
Hey hey sha la la
Hey hey sha la la
Who's gonna ride your wild horses
Who's gonna drown in your blue sea
Who's gonna ride your wild horses
Who's gonna fall at the foot of thee
Well you stole it 'cause I needed the cash
And you killed it 'cause I wanted revenge
Well you lied to me 'cause I asked you to
Baby, can we still be friends
Hey hey sha la la
Hey hey sha la la
Who's gonna ride your wild horses
Who's gonna drown in your blue sea
Who's gonna ride your wild horses
Who's gonna fall at the foot of thee
Oh, the deeper I spin
Oh, the hunter will sin for your ivory skin
Took a drive in the dirty rain
To a place where the wind calls your name
Under the trees the river laughing at you and me
Hallelujah, heavens white rose
The doors you open
I just can't close
Don't turn around, don't turn around again
Don't turn around, your gypsy heart
Don't turn around, don't turn around again
Don't turn around, and don't look back
Come on now love, don't you look back
Who's gonna ride your wild horses
Who's gonna drown in your blue sea
Who's gonna taste your salt water kisses
Who's gonna take the place of me
Who's gonna ride your wild horses
Who's gonna tame the heart of thee
****************************
MONA: *is hanging up pics of Angelina Jolie*
Hopefully THAT will keep him distracted when Bono comes to see me.....
SCOTTPHISTO: *randomly enters* Hey, WHAT are you wearing?
MONA: Em...pants?
SCOTTPHISTO: Didn?t you get the memo? ONLY SHORT SKIRTS IN THE WORKPLACE.
MONA: *sigh* ok
SCOTTPHISTO: So..........what?s cookin, gooooooood lookin?
MONA: Em...just doing paperwork
SCOTTPHISTO: We have paper in this place? I thought it was all....rubber and wood....and shiny stuff.
MONA: Well you get fan mail.
SCOTTPHISTO: REALLY?
MONA: But I think they all had anthrax so I burned them. Or it might have been a powdered donut.
SCOTTPHISTO: *fume* *prepares to tackle*
*spies Angelina shrine* *rapes wall*
MONA: Em....
SCOTTPHISTO: Hey, did I get any calls?
MONA: No. O Wait. This girl named Phona called? She was trying to order 1000 tamales....I dunno. Wrong number I guess.
SCOTTPHISTO: *shurgs* Well I gotta go back to my rugby game. I told the PLEBA girls we should play shirts ?n? skins because I told them Larry was coming. Heheh...
MONA: O hey, are we gonna order lunch today or what?
SCOTTPHISTO: OH.....em....we were just gonna have Jello and....hey you wanna come play rugby with us?
MONA: No, I have something to do.
SCOTTPHISTO:. We?re not a BUSINESS. You?re just in charge of scandalizing and photocopying my drawings of Green Lantern. What is there to do?
*knock at the door*
MONA: THAT!! I have to do that!! I?ll get it!
SCOTTPHISTO: *Opens door to find Bono* You?re gonna DO Bono?
BONO: *drops his Pogo stick* Em.....*looks at Mona*
SCOTTPHISTO: *eyebrow* Men in my room?.....I?M NOT GAY. Can....I help you, sir?
BONO: I was wondering if the young lady there could service me.
MONA: *falls off the solar system*
SCOTTPHISTO: ....do you have an appointment?
BONO: No, but I imagine Mona could fit me in.
After that I kinda blacked out. I told Disco and she passed out too. I told Echo, but she just wanted to know if it had anything to do with FanFiction.net.
MONA: *wakes up* Hey, where?d ScottPhisto go?
BONO: Something about Jello.....so...tell me, love, what kind of work do you do here?
MONA: Well....really all I CAN do at this point. After I got fired from being Elevation Technician....
BONO: I wanted to talk to you about that.
MONA: Is that why you came here?
BONO: Yes.....listen, love, you know I didn?t want you to leave.
MONA: You didn?t?
BONO: You did too good of a job. Everyone else in the house --bc Edge, Larry, Adam, and I all live in one big house, y?know --felt kind of out of place there. When you show favor for one person over the rest...people begin to take it the wrong way.
MONA: Well, I mean, It WAS a pretty big--*falls down*-- job....
BONO: And I went *such* a long time--
MONA: *stares*
BONO: --pretending that I really needed your help,
MONA:....so...
BONO: Just to keep you on.
MONA: *stares*
BONO: Come on, now, love. You know I can stay elevated on me own.
MONA: Oh....so....then....you didn?t....need me anymore. You don?t need.....anyone or anything at all.
BONO: That sounds familiar. Em....
MONA:*shrugs*
BONO: ....I had an itch on the inside....I scratched it from the outside. That?s all.
MONA: ......that's ALL it was....
BONO: It?s just that.....I had to relea-- let you go.
MONA: But we still could have seen each other. You didn?t have to be like that....a job is one thing. But it wasn?t JUST that.
BONO: .....*sigh*.......
MONA: Didn't you ever wonder--
SCOTTPHISTO: *reappears in Spiderman underwear, snorkel, and carrying a bowl of Jello*
Bono, dood, you gotta tell Edge to come back and help me finish building the rasslin? ring we started.
BONO: Yes...he does like a good screwing...*is distracted*
MONA: *ME CAI!!!!*
SCOTTPHISTO: I LOVE it when you talk....em....Spanish....eh....Well....em...
I?m just gonna leave you too -- heheh U2 -- here....em.....ALONE. Mona, did you want me to *swipe* all this stuff off your desk in advance? It might make everything a lot easier. Cause this one time, some desk had a typewriter on it, and I--
MONA & BONO: *stare*
SCOTTPHISTO: OKOK I guess the swiping?s half the fun, right? Well....defile away!!
BONO: What was that about?
MONA: Nothing.
BONO: Did you tell him I was coming?
MONA: No, I didn?t tell anyone.
BONO: who is he? Yer boss?
MONA: Yeah, kinda.
BONO:....what did he think I was here for, then?
MONA: I don?t know....
BONO: Defiling?
MONA: No, he?s just.....he?s always eating Cheez-its, and sometimes it gets to his head--
BONO: But he THINKS that you and I....
MONA: No, no, he doesn?t know anything.
SCOTTPHISTO: AND I?M NOT GAY, EITHER!!!!!!
MONA: ........
ECHO: *enters* OO Bono?s here. Just the kind of person who can keep the office morale UP. BWWAAHAHAHAAA *runs away to dictate*
BONO:.....When I said I didn?t need you anymore, I just meant.....
MONA: No, it?s fine, really. I don?t care. I understand. So....that?s what you came here for. Just...to tell me that I?m impossibility.
BONO: No...Listen, I need to give this back to you. *hands Mona a folded-up blindfold with TAMALE printed on it*
MONA: ....that?s ALL you want to give back....
BONO: it?s....all that I have to leave behind.
DRAMATIC MUSIC
GINA: *runs out of the Mansion crying*
MONA: So you came to leave.
BONO: I didn?t say that.
MONA: But it?s the truth.
BONO: Don?t be mad....
MONA: Then I?ll have to lie....
SCOTTPHISTO: *reappears* Who?s lying down?
BONO:...I should go, then. You just....have to know the difference between gods and garbage...
...Everything?s reckoning.....
MONA: *stands there*
BONO: You can?t be everything and nothing.
MONA: Then tell me what--
BONO: I need to go. *Mounts his pogo stick*
ECHO: *stands in the corner with A.E. thinking of how WRONG that sounds*
BONO: *bounces away into the sunset*
SCOTTPHISTO: Bono! Next time you come, wear yer horns, ya horny little devil, you! You can come in the Jello Pool!!!.....for the girls.....I?M NOT GAY!!!!!!!!!
**************************************
Someone add on.
------------------
~*Mona*~ Secretary of Scandalization
97% compatible with Bono
Love me, give me soul.
A little less circuitry,
a little more poetry.
"For the good of the nation, you must defile Bono!" ~Echo~
The Latin Americans have the sexy end[of Catholicism]~BonoBaby~
7:00pm Bono plays Tetris on Powerbook instead of writing lyrics.
SCOTTPHISTO: I PROVIDE RELIEF!! WOO!
Em...ok on with the show. It's about being the Secretary of Scandalization for the SPS. What a soap opera life I lead....
************************************
You're dangerous 'cause you're honest
You're dangerous, you don't know what you want
Well you left my heart empty as a vacant lot
For any spirit to haunt
Hey hey sha la la
Hey hey
You're an accident waiting to happen
You're a piece of glass left there on the beach
Well you tell me things I know you're not supposed to
Then you leave me just out of reach
Hey hey sha la la
Hey hey sha la la
Who's gonna ride your wild horses
Who's gonna drown in your blue sea
Who's gonna ride your wild horses
Who's gonna fall at the foot of thee
Well you stole it 'cause I needed the cash
And you killed it 'cause I wanted revenge
Well you lied to me 'cause I asked you to
Baby, can we still be friends
Hey hey sha la la
Hey hey sha la la
Who's gonna ride your wild horses
Who's gonna drown in your blue sea
Who's gonna ride your wild horses
Who's gonna fall at the foot of thee
Oh, the deeper I spin
Oh, the hunter will sin for your ivory skin
Took a drive in the dirty rain
To a place where the wind calls your name
Under the trees the river laughing at you and me
Hallelujah, heavens white rose
The doors you open
I just can't close
Don't turn around, don't turn around again
Don't turn around, your gypsy heart
Don't turn around, don't turn around again
Don't turn around, and don't look back
Come on now love, don't you look back
Who's gonna ride your wild horses
Who's gonna drown in your blue sea
Who's gonna taste your salt water kisses
Who's gonna take the place of me
Who's gonna ride your wild horses
Who's gonna tame the heart of thee
****************************
MONA: *is hanging up pics of Angelina Jolie*
Hopefully THAT will keep him distracted when Bono comes to see me.....
SCOTTPHISTO: *randomly enters* Hey, WHAT are you wearing?
MONA: Em...pants?
SCOTTPHISTO: Didn?t you get the memo? ONLY SHORT SKIRTS IN THE WORKPLACE.
MONA: *sigh* ok
SCOTTPHISTO: So..........what?s cookin, gooooooood lookin?
MONA: Em...just doing paperwork
SCOTTPHISTO: We have paper in this place? I thought it was all....rubber and wood....and shiny stuff.
MONA: Well you get fan mail.
SCOTTPHISTO: REALLY?
MONA: But I think they all had anthrax so I burned them. Or it might have been a powdered donut.
SCOTTPHISTO: *fume* *prepares to tackle*
*spies Angelina shrine* *rapes wall*
MONA: Em....
SCOTTPHISTO: Hey, did I get any calls?
MONA: No. O Wait. This girl named Phona called? She was trying to order 1000 tamales....I dunno. Wrong number I guess.
SCOTTPHISTO: *shurgs* Well I gotta go back to my rugby game. I told the PLEBA girls we should play shirts ?n? skins because I told them Larry was coming. Heheh...
MONA: O hey, are we gonna order lunch today or what?
SCOTTPHISTO: OH.....em....we were just gonna have Jello and....hey you wanna come play rugby with us?
MONA: No, I have something to do.
SCOTTPHISTO:. We?re not a BUSINESS. You?re just in charge of scandalizing and photocopying my drawings of Green Lantern. What is there to do?
*knock at the door*
MONA: THAT!! I have to do that!! I?ll get it!
SCOTTPHISTO: *Opens door to find Bono* You?re gonna DO Bono?
BONO: *drops his Pogo stick* Em.....*looks at Mona*
SCOTTPHISTO: *eyebrow* Men in my room?.....I?M NOT GAY. Can....I help you, sir?
BONO: I was wondering if the young lady there could service me.
MONA: *falls off the solar system*
SCOTTPHISTO: ....do you have an appointment?
BONO: No, but I imagine Mona could fit me in.
After that I kinda blacked out. I told Disco and she passed out too. I told Echo, but she just wanted to know if it had anything to do with FanFiction.net.
MONA: *wakes up* Hey, where?d ScottPhisto go?
BONO: Something about Jello.....so...tell me, love, what kind of work do you do here?
MONA: Well....really all I CAN do at this point. After I got fired from being Elevation Technician....
BONO: I wanted to talk to you about that.
MONA: Is that why you came here?
BONO: Yes.....listen, love, you know I didn?t want you to leave.
MONA: You didn?t?
BONO: You did too good of a job. Everyone else in the house --bc Edge, Larry, Adam, and I all live in one big house, y?know --felt kind of out of place there. When you show favor for one person over the rest...people begin to take it the wrong way.
MONA: Well, I mean, It WAS a pretty big--*falls down*-- job....
BONO: And I went *such* a long time--
MONA: *stares*
BONO: --pretending that I really needed your help,
MONA:....so...
BONO: Just to keep you on.
MONA: *stares*
BONO: Come on, now, love. You know I can stay elevated on me own.
MONA: Oh....so....then....you didn?t....need me anymore. You don?t need.....anyone or anything at all.
BONO: That sounds familiar. Em....
MONA:*shrugs*
BONO: ....I had an itch on the inside....I scratched it from the outside. That?s all.
MONA: ......that's ALL it was....
BONO: It?s just that.....I had to relea-- let you go.
MONA: But we still could have seen each other. You didn?t have to be like that....a job is one thing. But it wasn?t JUST that.
BONO: .....*sigh*.......
MONA: Didn't you ever wonder--
SCOTTPHISTO: *reappears in Spiderman underwear, snorkel, and carrying a bowl of Jello*
Bono, dood, you gotta tell Edge to come back and help me finish building the rasslin? ring we started.
BONO: Yes...he does like a good screwing...*is distracted*
MONA: *ME CAI!!!!*
SCOTTPHISTO: I LOVE it when you talk....em....Spanish....eh....Well....em...
I?m just gonna leave you too -- heheh U2 -- here....em.....ALONE. Mona, did you want me to *swipe* all this stuff off your desk in advance? It might make everything a lot easier. Cause this one time, some desk had a typewriter on it, and I--
MONA & BONO: *stare*
SCOTTPHISTO: OKOK I guess the swiping?s half the fun, right? Well....defile away!!
BONO: What was that about?
MONA: Nothing.
BONO: Did you tell him I was coming?
MONA: No, I didn?t tell anyone.
BONO: who is he? Yer boss?
MONA: Yeah, kinda.
BONO:....what did he think I was here for, then?
MONA: I don?t know....
BONO: Defiling?
MONA: No, he?s just.....he?s always eating Cheez-its, and sometimes it gets to his head--
BONO: But he THINKS that you and I....
MONA: No, no, he doesn?t know anything.
SCOTTPHISTO: AND I?M NOT GAY, EITHER!!!!!!
MONA: ........
ECHO: *enters* OO Bono?s here. Just the kind of person who can keep the office morale UP. BWWAAHAHAHAAA *runs away to dictate*
BONO:.....When I said I didn?t need you anymore, I just meant.....
MONA: No, it?s fine, really. I don?t care. I understand. So....that?s what you came here for. Just...to tell me that I?m impossibility.
BONO: No...Listen, I need to give this back to you. *hands Mona a folded-up blindfold with TAMALE printed on it*
MONA: ....that?s ALL you want to give back....
BONO: it?s....all that I have to leave behind.
DRAMATIC MUSIC
GINA: *runs out of the Mansion crying*
MONA: So you came to leave.
BONO: I didn?t say that.
MONA: But it?s the truth.
BONO: Don?t be mad....
MONA: Then I?ll have to lie....
SCOTTPHISTO: *reappears* Who?s lying down?
BONO:...I should go, then. You just....have to know the difference between gods and garbage...
...Everything?s reckoning.....
MONA: *stands there*
BONO: You can?t be everything and nothing.
MONA: Then tell me what--
BONO: I need to go. *Mounts his pogo stick*
ECHO: *stands in the corner with A.E. thinking of how WRONG that sounds*
BONO: *bounces away into the sunset*
SCOTTPHISTO: Bono! Next time you come, wear yer horns, ya horny little devil, you! You can come in the Jello Pool!!!.....for the girls.....I?M NOT GAY!!!!!!!!!
**************************************
Someone add on.
------------------
~*Mona*~ Secretary of Scandalization
97% compatible with Bono
Love me, give me soul.
A little less circuitry,
a little more poetry.
"For the good of the nation, you must defile Bono!" ~Echo~
The Latin Americans have the sexy end[of Catholicism]~BonoBaby~
7:00pm Bono plays Tetris on Powerbook instead of writing lyrics.
