Pleban Girls Party: Brought to you by the letter U, and the number 2.

[Russty Cat]

Russty!

In the TWOP forums for Alias, a couple of people kept talking about their uterus running away to be with Vaughn. Pretty funny stuff. I said that mine would run away with him too.

Vaughn definetly has uterus stealing potential. There are many people that make my uterus hurt, but womb pain is reserved for the elite few that I would love bare children with or at the very least practice making babies. lots!

<----Edward Norton womb pain x a billion! ie:

 

[Sad_Girl]

VP - I would just stand my ground if I were you and say 'no, they're not the same and I would appreciate it if you would listen to me/believe me when I say that' and make it clear to her that you mean it - if she doesn't knock it off I would avoid her, too

Real life friends can be so difficult

 

[VintagePunk]

My essay will run the thread way over, or we'll have to go to a new one.

 

[sami0201]

I agree with SG- tell her that they aren't the same, and to keep her opinions to herself? I suck at advice giving.

 

[ruffian]

VP, what your friend is doing is totally inauthenticating your own experience by drawing a parallel with her own...and because you didn't like or respect the guy she was with, it is a false comparison. And it sounds like she's *trying* to be supportive by saying, "oh, i know just what you've been through," but instead, she's misunderstanding your relationship with Bob.

So what to do? I don't know! I would probably end up avoiding her until I had more ego strength, and then I'd just say I didn't want to talk about him. You are pretty vulnerable now so I think it would be hard to shoulder her insensitivity.

Alternatively, if you think she can provide some kind of support if she understood the situtaiton, then it might be worth telling her more details so she understands that Bob *is* different than Paul. Is she the type who would listen and amend her opinion? If so, it's worth a sit-down with her. But if you think she's more concerned with her own voice being heard, it might be (emotionally) safer for you to keep your distance from her till you are feeling more able to cope.

 

[Russty Cat]

Russty, sorry you're PMSing. Tell hubby to bring you chocolate, and lots of it

I'm off to Ireland, Italy, and Denmark...I leave Sunday. I can only bring a suitcase that weighs 20 kilos so I've been weighing piles of clothes and shoes on my kitchen food scale!

Oh how fun! I hope you have a fabulous trip! Going any place is so fun. But damn a 20 kilos suitcase is just insane. I hope you can get everything in.

 

[Thora]

I agree with SG and Sami. Tell her it frustrates you that she's trying to compare the relationships, and prefer that you not talk about it. Does that make sense?

It's been a tough little while for you, and I think that she should have a little compassion and understanding, and not bring up subjects that would upset you more. If she doesn't respect your need to not talk about this, she needs to take a hike.

 

[Russty Cat]

VP, what your friend is doing is totally inauthenticating your own experience by drawing a parallel with her own...and because you didn't like or respect the guy she was with, it is a false comparison. And it sounds like she's *trying* to be supportive by saying, "oh, i know just what you've been through," but instead, she's misunderstanding your relationship with Bob.

So what to do? I don't know! I would probably end up avoiding her until I had more ego strength, and then I'd just say I didn't want to talk about him. You are pretty vulnerable now so I think it would be hard to shoulder her insensitivity.

Alternatively, if you think she can provide some kind of support if she understood the situtaiton, then it might be worth telling her more details so she understands that Bob *is* different than Paul. Is she the type who would listen and amend her opinion? If so, it's worth a sit-down with her. But if you think she's more concerned with her own voice being heard, it might be (emotionally) safer for you to keep your distance from her till you are feeling more able to cope.

I think Ruff is right on with this. In her own way she may be trying to be supportive of you, but doesn't really know the whole story. But she may not be able to see past her own thing and really be supportive so you might have to just avoid her for a while till you can say you'd rather not talk about it or brush it off like its no big deal to get her to leave you alone.

 

[ruffian]

Oh how fun! I hope you have a fabulous trip! Going any place is so fun. But damn a 20 kilos suitcase is just insane. I hope you can get everything in.

well, if i'm skimpily dressed you all will know it was because of the weight restriction, and not my moral character

 

[Sad_Girl]

Ooh, thats a handy excuse, Ruff

 

[Russty Cat]

http://forum.interference.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=160055

new thread

Ruff we would never think anything like that.

 

[Molly Bloom]

i agree with ruff...
she is trying to be supportive but also trying to validate that her relationship with paul was more perhaps...
i would just not talk to her about it and when she asks you about it tell her you dont want to talk about it and maybe she will realise she is being a silly nilly and hurting you ...

 

[VintagePunk]

Thanks everyone

I think you're right, that she is trying to be supportive in her own way..but it's just not the way I need right now. I think she's raising her own relationship to more than it was, but at the same time, diminishing mine.

She has a tendency to do things like that. She also told me today of these guys she wants me to meet. I told her I'm not ready. She couldn't understand that, either.

 

[Sad_Girl]

Thanks everyone

I think you're right, that she is trying to be supportive in her own way..but it's just not the way I need right now. I think she's raising her own relationship to more than it was, but at the same time, diminishing mine.

She has a tendency to do things like that. She also told me today of these guys she wants me to meet. I told her I'm not ready. She couldn't understand that, either.

Exactly. And I can't blame you