PLEBAn Girl Love - Chapter 9 - U2 Feedback

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Old 10-12-2006, 02:10 AM   #1
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PLEBAn Girl Love - Chapter 9

Yeah, so....... Sorry again about that wait The chapter's been pretty much done for a while, I just had to kick my arse to actually sit
down and pull it all together..



It was a quiet morning at the Mullen household. All was quiet except for a tv left on in the background that was turned to the news. "Today's top story - U2's official website is confirming the rumours of The Edge's split from the mega rock group. The official statement was brief and has left many questions unanswered. This has led to panic and hysteria among the band's fans worldwide as the ultimate fate of the legendary supergroup hangs in the balance. Mass bannings have been reported on U2 forums across the internet and worldwide sales of popcorn have gone through the roof. What that means, we have yet to confirm."

Larry was paying little attention to the round-the-clock coverage of the crisis. He payed more attention to his reflection in the mirror as the sounds of the
television droned on. Suddenly the phone rang. As Larry was too busy with the mirror, he left it until the machine came on. As the greeting ended and the beep
sounded, an unmistakable voice came through the speaker. It was Bono. "Larry? Lar? Larry? Are you there, Larry? ..............................Larry? Do you know what
I did with my keys? Lar - *BEEEEEEP*" Larry shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Not his keys again. We ought to staple them to his coat like a pair of mittens."
He turned back to the mirror. His hair was freshly cut. He had a sudden flashback - crazed women holding him down and wielding a pair of
scissors as his cries for mercy went unanswered in the depths of the PLEBAn lair. He shuddered. He missed his beautiful hair, but he was
determined to make the best of it. He reached into the crate of hairgel by the bed and pulled out new bottle. He flipped it over and read the directions: "Slather
and repeat." He did just that and worked it into his locks to create the perfect look. Once he was happy that it was what he was going for, he studied the rest
of his reflection. He was the picture of masculinity - there was an intense look in his eyes, subtle lines beginning to form a harsh picture on his face, his
muscles were cut and showing their shape through the fabric of his clothes. He nodded his head in satisfaction at what he saw, slipped into his
Hello Kitty slippers and headed off down the hall. He walked all the way down the stairs to the front door and went out to find the morning paper resting on the first step. He picked it up.
As he unfolded it to scan the front page headlines, several loose flyers fell out and scattered to the ground. He muttered a few curse words as he bent to pick them up. He turned around and walked in, kicking the door shut with his foot as he shuffled the papers around to weed out the junk. He was about to toss the flyers on the hall table when something caught his eye. He gasped. Dropping everything else and clutching a single paper in his hand, he ran back out the door and headed off as fast as he could towards Adam's house.


***


Larry and Adam studied the flyer as they made their way along the sidewalk. The loud font proclaimed the 'Best deals in town for all your household
needs!' and 'Only 39.99 on select power drills!' Adam's eyes were drawn back up to the top of the page. He read it aloud again, still not quite able to grasp
it. "'Mr. The Edge's Hardware Store'.. Who'd have thought it?" Larry shrugged. "The man's obviously lost his mind. Hanging around the wee one too much and all."
Adam let out a half-hearted chuckle. Larry kept going. "He might want to look at where those beanies are made. Too many chemicals in the manufacturing process quite obviously
seeping into his brain." Adam rolled his eyes, only slightly letting on to his amusement. He looked down at Larry's feet and smirked. "Nice slippers by the way."
Larry jumped in surprise as he realize that he'd left them on in his haste. "Errrr.." Various excuses ran through his head as blood rushed to his cheeks.
A sight in the distance distracted both of them. "Aha!" Larry shouted as they reached Bono's front gate "There's the wee one now." They stopped
and took a moment to figure out the scene in front of them.

Bono sat on the lawn behind a table with a handmade sign posted at the front: "Rock show - 5 cents!1"

Larry tilted his head as he read the sign. "Um. Did he actually write a 1 after the exclamation point?"

Adam approached the table where Bono sat, looking rather dejected. His expression changed when he saw his friends. "LARRY! ADAM! Do you want to see
a show??" He practically launched himself over the table towards them in his excitement.

Adam raised an eyebrow ."Errr, a rock show is it? 5 cents is all?"

Bono sobbed and grabbed at where there were once fistfuls of hair. There were none, so he just clawed at the top of his head in frustration.
"I don't knoooow! It's what I did when I was a boy!"

Adam patted him on the shoulder and sat him back down. "You, erm, you gave rock shows on your front lawn when you were a boy?"

Bono shook his head. "No, I sold lemonade back then, but I wasn't sure what to charge, so I just charged what I did back then."

Larry snorted "If you ask me, I'd say you're overcharging."

"Have you made any money yet?" Adam asked.

"No. Nobody wants to see my show." Bono sulked.

"What IS your show?" Larry was still pondering the sign.

Bono chewed on his lip. "Err, I haven't quite figured that out yet. A lot of improvising. I tried doing all the things I do at our shows, just without the band.. and special effects..
and music. I tried wearing a guitar, jumping around a lot.. I tried to dance with a few pretty girls, but they all hit me with their purses and ran away. They hurt you know!
What do they carry in those things?"

Both Larry and Adam shrugged.

Bono shrugged too. "Well.. do you want to see my show?"

They both shook their heads, no.

Bono scratched his head. "Ok.. well.. have either of you seen what I did with my keys?"

They both raised their eyebrows. Adam put his hand on Bono's shoulder. "Why don't we just put away this little setup and forget it ever happened, ok?"

Bono shook his head vigorously. "But I need to make money somehow!"

"YOU are worried about money?" Larry laughed.

"Yes! What am I supposed to do if U2 is over??" Bono worried aloud.

"Well, uhh, you could live off the millions you already have, you eejit." Larry rubbed his temples. Another Bono-induced headache was coming on.

"That might not last forever! I have to plan for the future! AGH! The future! Edddddge!" Bono let his head fall into his hands.

"Here's an idea.. DON'T spend all that money before you die." Larry smacked his own head as if it was a huge revelation.

"But I can't help myself! My desire for sunglasses and shinies alone will bleed me dry!" Bono tried to convince them of the gravity of the situation.

"Bono.." Adam began to pull out the flyer and tried to get his attention.

"AND beachballs!" Bono continued.

"Bono.."

"What about hair dye? How else will I keep my scruff looking so luscious?"

"BONO.."

"ELEVATOR SHOOOES! What will I do if I run out of those? I'd have to walk around on my tippy-toes and -"

"BONO! Look at this!" Adam shoved the flyer under Bono's nose.

Bono gasped. "Oh my god! EDGIE!!"

"You see, Bono?"

"Where is this? We need to go there!"

"Everything's going to be fine.."

"We need to go now! We need to hurry!"

"We just need to.."

"Come ON! Let's GO!"

Larry followed after them. "Um. Edgie?"


***


Adam had barely slowed down the car by the time Bono bolted out the door and took off across the parking lot.
After parking the car, Larry and Adam made their way into the store and began their search for their wayward singer and guitar
player. It wasn't long before they heard Bono, running up and down the aisles, shouting "EDDDGGGEE!! EEEEDDDDDDGGGGGEEE!!" Arousing a sea of
murmurs from onlooking shoppers. Larry did a facepalm. "Great, just what we need. Tomorrow's headlines: 'Bono Finally Snaps His Twig - U2 singer
said to have lost his mind in the drywall section.'"

Larry and Adam began to walk towards him. As Bono spotted them, he attempted to slow down, starting too late though and slamming into Larry's chest. "OOF!" He
readjusted his sunglasses. "Err, sorry Lar." Larry pushed him off and readjusted his shirt, muttering, "Eejit."

Bono sighed. "I couldn't find him." His bottom lip began to tremble. "Maybe it's a different Mr. The Edge." Larry rolled his eyes. "Bono.."

"There he is!" Adam exclaimed, sprinting towards the opposite end of the store.

And there he stood - The Edge, in his trademark beanie, giving instructions to an employee on where to hang a stack of 'Grand Opening' signs. His outfit had
changed though. Gone were the classic Edge tshirt and jeans. He was wearing some sort of green-brown overalls, along with a utility belt filled with tools strapped
around his waist. As he spotted his bandmates coming towards him, his expression resembled that of a deer in headlights. He stood perfectly still, but his
eyes began to scan worriedly for an escape route. Bono was too fast for him though and came careening towards him, not slowing down quite soon enough and
slamming into his chest.

"OOF!" Edge had the breathe knocked out of him. He had no chance to recover as Bono wrapped his arms tightly around him in a constricting hug.

"Bono.. Bono.. ACK!" Edge whispered hoarsley.

Bono looked up. Tears burned in his eyes at the sight of lifelong friend. He stood back and grasped The Edge
by the shoulders, looking intently into his eyes. "Edge......................... do you know what I did with my keys?"

Larry interjected. "Where the bloody hell have you been, you bastard??"

Edge puffed out his chest proudly and stuck his thumbs beneath his overall straps. "Getting ready for the big grand opening of course. I must say,
I think I've done a pretty good job in the short amount of time I've had to prepare." He looked around and nodded in satisfaction.

Larry glared. "Yeah, hi, Edge? I don't know if you know this, but we used to be in a band together. Did quite well actually. We were called U2??"

Edge shrugged. "Yes, I seem to recall something about a band. Mind you, that ran its course ages ago. It's time for me to persue my other lifelong dream."

Adam stepped in. "To um, to own a hardware store?"

"Yes." Edge thrust out his chin defiantly. "Think what you will, but I think it's an exciting venture. One that will certainly be very fullfilling."

"What about us??" Larry asked, exasperated.

Edge contemplated this for a moment. "Okay, you're right. We have been through a lot together and you know you're all like family to me. I'll give you
a 25 - NO! 30% discount on all gardening tools."

All three men deathglared at Edge.

"Well I thought it was rather generous" Edge shrugged "But alright, 30% discount throughout the store."

"Yayy!" Bono clapped.

"NO!" Larry jabbed Bono in the ribs. "We're talking about the band here. What are we supposed to do without you? We can't exactly replace you. We'll have
no other choice but to end it all."

Edge threw his hands in the air. "I tried! I wanted things to work, but it wasn't happening anymore. I TRIED!"

Bono implored "Edge, this is 30 years of friendship we're talking about, not even anything to do with the band.
This is about BROTHERS. If you throw away every relationship............. just.............. because............... " His voice began to trail off..

Adam stepped in again. "Look, we know we've been through tough times before. We've made it work before. Just like any other relationship, we've
weathered many storms and I fully believe we can do it again."

Larry folded his arms. "What are we supposed to do without you?"

Edge held up his hands in a gesture of helplessness. "Look, the point is that this time it's different. This is not just one of those things we can
just talk out like.. - Someone go fetch Bono, he's wandered off to the light fixtures section - But no, it's not like before. This is something bigger than all of us."

Larry marched off in the direction of aisle 9, muttering and cursing their singer's miniscule attention span. After a few moments of contemplation and once
Larry returned with a tight grip on the back of Bono's jacket, Edge put forth an offer. "Alright. There's only one thing that will make me consider it.
You'll have to do something with me before I even consider coming back."

"What is that?" Adam asked.

"Couples counselling." Edge put simply.

Larry looked at him incredulously. "WHAT?!"

"Just what I said." Edge was resolved.

"Why couples counselling? Why not regular counselling??" Larry began to think he was the only sane man left in the group.

"Because being in U2 is like being in a marriage. I really think it's the only practical solution." Edge explained.

"Right. Well, it was nice being in a band with ya. Take care and all that, The Edge. I'll be sure
to ring you if my house ever needs another floor put in." And with that, Larry marched towards the
door. It was Adam's grip on the back of his shirt collar that stopped him in his tracks.

Larry choked. "Ack! Let go, you shit!"

Adam rolled his eyes and grabbed Larry by the ear.

"Hey! OW! Fook off!" Larry swatted in Adam's direction.

Adam yanked the unruly drummer towards him and gently asked, "What was that you said?"

Larry grimaced and said again in a small voice, "Erm, fook off?"

Adam smiled and stood his friend up straight. He dusted him off at the shoulders. "Yes, I'm
sure that's NOT what you said. Now there's a good boy. Stand here like a good, well behaved drummer."

Larry stood and attempted to scowl. It more closely resembled a pout.

Adam turned to Edge. "Right, we'll be there. You just say the word."

Edge nodded. "Good. Besides, I think Larry and Bono will need it the most. They're always at each other like
an old married couple." This ellicited a hearty laugh from both Edge and Adam. Larry stood glaring
at his shoes. Bono stood fixated in the direction of aisle 9, with Adam holding tightly onto his arm.
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Old 10-12-2006, 09:45 AM   #2
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THAT took you a LONG time!






Somebody has been watching FUSE 100%: U2 lately

Bono hugging Edge....



*SNERK* always knew larry was a fake tough guy... I can so see him wearing Hello Kitty slippers


now go write faster, when I'm back from Italy I expect at least one new chapter!!!!!!! *needs foot tapping emoticon*
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And if U2 EVER did Hawkmoon live....and the version from the Lovetown Tour, my uterus would leave my body and fling itself at Bono - for realz.
Don't worry baby, it's gonna be all right. Uncertainty can be a guiding light...
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Old 10-12-2006, 11:35 AM   #3
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Kaf, this just keeps getting better and better. OMG, the 1 drawn after the exclamation point on Bono's sign was a fantastic touch. I just love the way you write Bono, and really, all of them. I can't wait to see the next chapter
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Old 10-12-2006, 11:37 AM   #4
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Kaf you are a genius! Ever tell you just how much I love your stories?
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Old 10-12-2006, 12:00 PM   #5
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KAF!!! This is so funny!

favorite line:"ELEVATOR SHOOOES! What will I do if I run out of those? I'd have to walk around on my tippy-toes and -" I spit out my tea girl.

I am picturing Edge in a tool belt for some reason that seems kinda sexy

Adam is so take chargethat is how I like him

Hyper Bono and mean ole Larry they are just hilarious a

This was so worth the wait.
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Old 10-12-2006, 12:36 PM   #6
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Thanks for updating! Totally made my morning. I'm sitting here at work, slacking off (as usual) and laughing hysterically at my computer. More please!!!!
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Old 10-12-2006, 01:52 PM   #7
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Kaf, as always yet another extraordinary chapter - funniest fanfic ever!!!

Hope you'll write many, many more chapters!
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Old 10-12-2006, 04:16 PM   #8
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So many things in this chapter made me laugh like a dement here in the quiet library, hahaha!

I am so sure Bono is exactly like he is in real life as in your PGL!

Well done Kaffy, well worth the wait!
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Old 10-12-2006, 06:01 PM   #9
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I see you had inspiration in a couple of places! But nicely done Kaf....very well written chapter

Please write chapter 10 very soon *gives the puppy dog eyes*
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Old 10-12-2006, 07:50 PM   #10
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I have the next two chapters mapped out, so barring any real life intrusion, I should have them done quicker this time

GG and Weldy - You caught onto my references Anyone who wants to know what they are should watch the Fuse interview
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Old 10-14-2006, 06:04 AM   #11
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Hello Kitty Slippers.

And the whole thing about Bono needing money to buy shinies etc

Kaf you are a genius.

Bono and Larry at the counselling could be very amusing. :lo:
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Old 10-14-2006, 07:36 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally posted by kafrun
Anyone who wants to know what they are should watch the Fuse interview
Link?
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Old 10-15-2006, 12:34 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally posted by Merc


Link?
It used to be on Youtube, but apparently it's not there anymore I'll upload it ASAP
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Old 10-15-2006, 03:15 AM   #14
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Quote:
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It used to be on Youtube, but apparently it's not there anymore I'll upload it ASAP
Thanks!
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Old 10-15-2006, 04:33 AM   #15
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LMAO I just sat and read all the chapters out of curiosity..Great I did LOL..I cant wait to read more!
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Old 10-16-2006, 08:03 PM   #16
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^ new reader


Okay, here's the Fuse interview for all those who wanted it: http://www.mega upload.com/?d=7TGZE7A7

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Old 10-16-2006, 09:32 PM   #17
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Yeah I've been lurking for months..
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Old 10-17-2006, 01:01 AM   #18
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I did that too at first Welcome.
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Old 10-17-2006, 05:05 PM   #19
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Thanks...I can't wait to read more!
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Old 10-17-2006, 05:55 PM   #20
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I had replied to this..but I guess it didnt go through..grrr..But thanks for the official welcome..I plan on being here alot..I am also writting a fan fic...
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