kafrun
Blue Crack Addict
The usual disclaimer, blah blah blah 
By the way, I apologize for my sloppy editing. I swear I'm fully capable
of doing a more respectable job, but I'm just too damn lazy
Chapter will be split into two posts again to fit the images in. Sorry for the wait! Now onward to where we left off..
Without PLEBA or PGL, Bono wasn't sure what he was going to fill his afternoon with. He sat despondently in his computer chair and looked around the room. He sighed. Just then he spotted his phone on the table by the couch. The voicemail icon was flashing. Bono dragged himself across the room and picked
it up. "17" the number that flashed on the screen. He got to work checking them. The first one was from The Edge.
"Bono, this is Edge. Just wanted to let you know I've emailed you a list of requirements you have to meet in order for your suspension to be lifted. Just cooperate with them and this will all be over soon....................... Oh, by the way, I found a supermarket with BooBerry cereal. Let me know if you want me to pick some up for you."
*BEEP* "Next message"
"Yes, hello Mr. Hewson. This is Phil from Phil's Custom Shoe Repair. I can do the alterations you requested, however I have to warn you - if we add any more inches, you're risking potential injury - sprains, strains, falls. Erm, just making sure you're aware of this risks before we proceed."
*BEEP* "Next messsage"
"Bono, it's Gavin. Wanted to know if you're up for a few pints tonight. HAHAHAHHAA *deep breath* HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA.. *snort* *snicker* Ohhh I'm a funny bastard, I know. Of course you are, you crazy drinking fool. Meet you at the pub at 9."
*BEEP* "Next message"
"Hehehe.. Well hey there, Ba-no. It's George Dubya. How you doin', buddy? I tell you whut, I'm just fixin' to have me a meetin' with my staff, or hold a press conference, or start a war or something. Not too sure yet. Say, it's been a while since you been to the white house, how 'bout you stop by sometime and we'll shoot the breeze about debt or trade or whatever it is you like to talk about. I'm really in need of a good photo-op. I could give you a nice shoulder massage or something. Just give me a holler and let me know!"
*BEEP, BEEP, BEEP* "Goodbye"
Bono set his phone down. Suddenly he didn't feel like listening to any more messages. He sat back down at the computer and contemplated what to do next. He couldn't bring himself to go back to PLEBA just yet. He needed to give them a while to cool off or else he'd get banned for sure. He needed a new approach. In the mean time he decided to take a look through the other forums for once - but not that awful EYKIW, no sir! He browsed the various forums and came upon Lemonade Stand. Well that sounded reasonably unthreatening. Rather benign in fact. So he browsed through the forum and clicked on random threads. Cute cats, cute dogs.. and what was this? 'Get ready to lose hours of your life'. Well Bono wasn't sure he wanted to lose HOURS, but he certainly needed something to kill a little time. So he clicked that thread just to check it out....
***
3 hours later..
Ali searched all over the house, but no sign of her husband. She called and called, but no one answered. She felt herself growing more and more annoyed. "BO-NO!!" Still no answer. She huffed. She stopped. She was quiet for a moment. She thought she heard something....
*pop pop pop pop pop pop*
'What on earth is that??' She wondered.
*pop pop pop pop poppopopopopopop.... pop*
She followed the sounds. They led her all the way into the computer room. There was Bono, practically on the edge of his seat, slack-jawed and wide-eyed in front of the computer. His index finger was madly clicking away. "Bono?" No response. "Bono??" Still none. "....BONO?" Bono jerked at the sound of his name, turning his head ever so slightly in the direction of his wife, eyes still on the screen. "Bono, I've
been looking for you" She said. "Erm, yes" Bono said, still clicking away. Ali raised an eyebrow "I need you to help me with something. Can you come away from the computer now?" There was a long pause. ".......ehhh.. mmhmm" and yet Bono continued playing. Ali put her hands on her hips and huffed again "What on earth are you doing? What is that? Are you listening to me?" Another pause. "Emm......... mmhmm" He murmered, eyes
still locked on the screen. Ali glared "The dog needs to be taken out, your hat closet needs to be organized, the girls need a ride,
I need you to listen to me, the sky is falling, are you listening? your beachball collection blew away, I'm leaving you for
your brother, BONO!!" Bono jerked again, this time turning away from the screen "Huh?" Just then he put on his most devilishly angelic smile and took his wife's hand tenderly "Did you say something, my love?" Ali pulled Bono's hat down over his eyes and huffed once again as she walked away. Bono placed his hat back in its original position and looked puzzledly after his wife as she walked away. "Women."
***
11pm at night..
Elijah walked in and tapped his father on the shoulder "Daddy, mummy sent me to give you a message". Bono smiled at his
boy "What is it, Eli?" "She wanted you to know that she's in bed and she wants you to come too because it's late." Bono tossled his son's hair and told him "Tell her I'll be there in juuuuust a little bit, okay?" Eli nodded "She thought you might say that. So she also told me to let you know that she has your favorite beachball and a safety pin with her, so you should come sooner than later."
Horror gripped Bono as he lunged out of his chair and dashed out the door, up the stairs, nearly knocking Eli to the floor in his haste. An unholy scream resonated throughout the house. "NOOOOOOOOOOOES!! NOT THE BLUE ONE!!"
***
The next day our favorite Irish lads were back in the studio. They sat and mulled over their problem track. "I think we're all agreed there's something that's a bit off somewhere, we just can't seem to pinpoint what it is" said Adam. Bono pouted "I told you, it's the lyrics. If you'd just consider my changes - " "NO, Bono," Edge cut him off, exasperated "We are NOT using lyrics about BUBBLES in the song". Bono frowned "But just listen! 'Shiny bubbles, all different colours, like hundreds of little beachballs in my miiiind.. oooooh ohhhhhh'" Edge never thought he'd see the day where he missed lyrics about kneeling. Bono pushed "Can we at least put some bubble sounds in the background?" Edge threw his hands in the air and gestured wildy "NO!! ><" He sighed and rubbed his forhead "What I think we need to do is get up to speed with some of the new technology that's out there. Get a bit experimental again." Bono nodded vigorously "I agree. First things first - replace the drummer with a drum machine." He folded his arms and nodded again in satisfaction with his suggestion. Larry, who had been intently studying his reflection in the control panel, turned and smirked "Replace the singer with a highly trained monkey." Edge shot a warning glance in Larry's direction. "Larry.." The drummer spoke again, unphased "A highly trained seal?" Edge flailed his arms in the air, in yet another expasperated plea "LARRY!" Larry shrugged "Just a suggestion." Adam chimed in "You know that reality tv show, SuperNanny is it? The one where they bring a professional nanny in and help parents sort out their problem children? Do you suppose we could get someone like that to sort Lars and Bono out?" Edge and Adam laughed together, some of their tension diffused. Larry and Bono scowled as they studied their shoes. Edge then changed the direction of the conversation "Alright, look.. on a related note, Bono's supsension from PGL will be lifted because
he's promised to behave himself. Larry has also promised to quit instigating." Silence. Edge prodded "So we're all agreed? Everyone is going to make an effort to get along?" Larry and Bono both grumbled in unison. Edge pushed again "What's that?" Larry and Bono muttered again "*Grumble, grumble* Okay *grumble* *scowl*" Edge nodded "Excellent, that's what I like to hear." Bono then stood up and excused himself "Yes. Great. I'll be right back. You lads continue on with your discussion." With that, he slipped into the other room. Edge turned to Larry "I mean it, Mullen. You promised." The drummer shrugged "I can't help it. My flippin' kids are better behaved and less hyperactive
than HIM." Edge sat forward and made his best attempt at a glare "LARRY, you promised" Larry shrugged again "I know, I know. I'll be good." Edge sat back in his chair "Besides, Ali is begging us to take him back. She says she'll be forced to beat him to death if she has to hear the sound of popping bubbles any longer." Adam chimed in again "Popping bubbles?" Edge nodded "Yes, it's from a computer game". Adam raised an eyebrow "Sort of like the sound coming from the other room right now?" The three men looked at each other. After a pause, Edge jumped out of his seat "Aww, shite!" All three marched into the other room and dragged Bono away from his laptop. Bono cried out, but it was useless "NOOOES! I'm SO close! There are just two more bubbles left! TWO!! I CAN QUIT ANYTIME I WANT!! JUST LET ME PLAY ONE MORE GAME!!"
***
Later that afternoon..
Edge was busy in his study pouring over various texts, trying to figure out the true origin of the universe, when an IM popped up on his computer. He decided to tear himself away from his quest for a moment to check it out.
A man should not be forced to wear pants when it's not cold - Edge, I think you're going to want to have a look in the Shiny thread
###Edge - I heart Urkle### - AGH! You've GOT to be kidding me ><
By the way, I apologize for my sloppy editing. I swear I'm fully capableof doing a more respectable job, but I'm just too damn lazy
Chapter will be split into two posts again to fit the images in. Sorry for the wait! Now onward to where we left off.. Without PLEBA or PGL, Bono wasn't sure what he was going to fill his afternoon with. He sat despondently in his computer chair and looked around the room. He sighed. Just then he spotted his phone on the table by the couch. The voicemail icon was flashing. Bono dragged himself across the room and picked
it up. "17" the number that flashed on the screen. He got to work checking them. The first one was from The Edge.
"Bono, this is Edge. Just wanted to let you know I've emailed you a list of requirements you have to meet in order for your suspension to be lifted. Just cooperate with them and this will all be over soon....................... Oh, by the way, I found a supermarket with BooBerry cereal. Let me know if you want me to pick some up for you."
*BEEP* "Next message"
"Yes, hello Mr. Hewson. This is Phil from Phil's Custom Shoe Repair. I can do the alterations you requested, however I have to warn you - if we add any more inches, you're risking potential injury - sprains, strains, falls. Erm, just making sure you're aware of this risks before we proceed."
*BEEP* "Next messsage"
"Bono, it's Gavin. Wanted to know if you're up for a few pints tonight. HAHAHAHHAA *deep breath* HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA.. *snort* *snicker* Ohhh I'm a funny bastard, I know. Of course you are, you crazy drinking fool. Meet you at the pub at 9."
*BEEP* "Next message"
"Hehehe.. Well hey there, Ba-no. It's George Dubya. How you doin', buddy? I tell you whut, I'm just fixin' to have me a meetin' with my staff, or hold a press conference, or start a war or something. Not too sure yet. Say, it's been a while since you been to the white house, how 'bout you stop by sometime and we'll shoot the breeze about debt or trade or whatever it is you like to talk about. I'm really in need of a good photo-op. I could give you a nice shoulder massage or something. Just give me a holler and let me know!"
*BEEP, BEEP, BEEP* "Goodbye"
Bono set his phone down. Suddenly he didn't feel like listening to any more messages. He sat back down at the computer and contemplated what to do next. He couldn't bring himself to go back to PLEBA just yet. He needed to give them a while to cool off or else he'd get banned for sure. He needed a new approach. In the mean time he decided to take a look through the other forums for once - but not that awful EYKIW, no sir! He browsed the various forums and came upon Lemonade Stand. Well that sounded reasonably unthreatening. Rather benign in fact. So he browsed through the forum and clicked on random threads. Cute cats, cute dogs.. and what was this? 'Get ready to lose hours of your life'. Well Bono wasn't sure he wanted to lose HOURS, but he certainly needed something to kill a little time. So he clicked that thread just to check it out....
***
3 hours later..
Ali searched all over the house, but no sign of her husband. She called and called, but no one answered. She felt herself growing more and more annoyed. "BO-NO!!" Still no answer. She huffed. She stopped. She was quiet for a moment. She thought she heard something....
*pop pop pop pop pop pop*
'What on earth is that??' She wondered.
*pop pop pop pop poppopopopopopop.... pop*
She followed the sounds. They led her all the way into the computer room. There was Bono, practically on the edge of his seat, slack-jawed and wide-eyed in front of the computer. His index finger was madly clicking away. "Bono?" No response. "Bono??" Still none. "....BONO?" Bono jerked at the sound of his name, turning his head ever so slightly in the direction of his wife, eyes still on the screen. "Bono, I've
been looking for you" She said. "Erm, yes" Bono said, still clicking away. Ali raised an eyebrow "I need you to help me with something. Can you come away from the computer now?" There was a long pause. ".......ehhh.. mmhmm" and yet Bono continued playing. Ali put her hands on her hips and huffed again "What on earth are you doing? What is that? Are you listening to me?" Another pause. "Emm......... mmhmm" He murmered, eyes
still locked on the screen. Ali glared "The dog needs to be taken out, your hat closet needs to be organized, the girls need a ride,
I need you to listen to me, the sky is falling, are you listening? your beachball collection blew away, I'm leaving you for
your brother, BONO!!" Bono jerked again, this time turning away from the screen "Huh?" Just then he put on his most devilishly angelic smile and took his wife's hand tenderly "Did you say something, my love?" Ali pulled Bono's hat down over his eyes and huffed once again as she walked away. Bono placed his hat back in its original position and looked puzzledly after his wife as she walked away. "Women."
***
11pm at night..
Elijah walked in and tapped his father on the shoulder "Daddy, mummy sent me to give you a message". Bono smiled at his
boy "What is it, Eli?" "She wanted you to know that she's in bed and she wants you to come too because it's late." Bono tossled his son's hair and told him "Tell her I'll be there in juuuuust a little bit, okay?" Eli nodded "She thought you might say that. So she also told me to let you know that she has your favorite beachball and a safety pin with her, so you should come sooner than later."
Horror gripped Bono as he lunged out of his chair and dashed out the door, up the stairs, nearly knocking Eli to the floor in his haste. An unholy scream resonated throughout the house. "NOOOOOOOOOOOES!! NOT THE BLUE ONE!!"
***
The next day our favorite Irish lads were back in the studio. They sat and mulled over their problem track. "I think we're all agreed there's something that's a bit off somewhere, we just can't seem to pinpoint what it is" said Adam. Bono pouted "I told you, it's the lyrics. If you'd just consider my changes - " "NO, Bono," Edge cut him off, exasperated "We are NOT using lyrics about BUBBLES in the song". Bono frowned "But just listen! 'Shiny bubbles, all different colours, like hundreds of little beachballs in my miiiind.. oooooh ohhhhhh'" Edge never thought he'd see the day where he missed lyrics about kneeling. Bono pushed "Can we at least put some bubble sounds in the background?" Edge threw his hands in the air and gestured wildy "NO!! ><" He sighed and rubbed his forhead "What I think we need to do is get up to speed with some of the new technology that's out there. Get a bit experimental again." Bono nodded vigorously "I agree. First things first - replace the drummer with a drum machine." He folded his arms and nodded again in satisfaction with his suggestion. Larry, who had been intently studying his reflection in the control panel, turned and smirked "Replace the singer with a highly trained monkey." Edge shot a warning glance in Larry's direction. "Larry.." The drummer spoke again, unphased "A highly trained seal?" Edge flailed his arms in the air, in yet another expasperated plea "LARRY!" Larry shrugged "Just a suggestion." Adam chimed in "You know that reality tv show, SuperNanny is it? The one where they bring a professional nanny in and help parents sort out their problem children? Do you suppose we could get someone like that to sort Lars and Bono out?" Edge and Adam laughed together, some of their tension diffused. Larry and Bono scowled as they studied their shoes. Edge then changed the direction of the conversation "Alright, look.. on a related note, Bono's supsension from PGL will be lifted because
he's promised to behave himself. Larry has also promised to quit instigating." Silence. Edge prodded "So we're all agreed? Everyone is going to make an effort to get along?" Larry and Bono both grumbled in unison. Edge pushed again "What's that?" Larry and Bono muttered again "*Grumble, grumble* Okay *grumble* *scowl*" Edge nodded "Excellent, that's what I like to hear." Bono then stood up and excused himself "Yes. Great. I'll be right back. You lads continue on with your discussion." With that, he slipped into the other room. Edge turned to Larry "I mean it, Mullen. You promised." The drummer shrugged "I can't help it. My flippin' kids are better behaved and less hyperactive
than HIM." Edge sat forward and made his best attempt at a glare "LARRY, you promised" Larry shrugged again "I know, I know. I'll be good." Edge sat back in his chair "Besides, Ali is begging us to take him back. She says she'll be forced to beat him to death if she has to hear the sound of popping bubbles any longer." Adam chimed in again "Popping bubbles?" Edge nodded "Yes, it's from a computer game". Adam raised an eyebrow "Sort of like the sound coming from the other room right now?" The three men looked at each other. After a pause, Edge jumped out of his seat "Aww, shite!" All three marched into the other room and dragged Bono away from his laptop. Bono cried out, but it was useless "NOOOES! I'm SO close! There are just two more bubbles left! TWO!! I CAN QUIT ANYTIME I WANT!! JUST LET ME PLAY ONE MORE GAME!!"
***
Later that afternoon..
Edge was busy in his study pouring over various texts, trying to figure out the true origin of the universe, when an IM popped up on his computer. He decided to tear himself away from his quest for a moment to check it out.
A man should not be forced to wear pants when it's not cold - Edge, I think you're going to want to have a look in the Shiny thread
###Edge - I heart Urkle### - AGH! You've GOT to be kidding me ><
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Is Edge going to really quit the band over Bono and Larry? 
Oh my gawd I LOVE this!!! 
Just... a joke! 
I have to do this ALL the time at work. There's this one woman who ALWAYS wants to know what I'm laughing at, and I think she's getting a bit frustrated that I never tell her. 
