I'm back for a while...........
I wanted to add another thing about the rehab situation.
they {my counslor/program directr/clinical supervisor...then ALSO said........"we think you wouldn't want to be a waitress or *someother "lowlevel" and REAL anxiety/or ultra-boredom inducing job for me.*
Hhmm maybe the doing "piecework" comment. UGH BLEECH I can bnot maintain a
fast repetitive pacer over hours & hours.I'm a good "sprinter" on those type of things not a longdistance runner.
and I'm like....{in my head} .what?!? WHAT!?!?.....where did all THIA sudeenly come from
and then from the clinic dir there was her comment "....sure my artist frinds would like to make theor living from fine art/ iluustraion" etc.
I'm like
Hey!!??!! since when do I *suddenly* "have to" go back to work!!?!!
.
Thank goodness they didn't start up with {as a peer couselor who is a FT staff person..who I sometimes thinks < sprry IF this term offends anyone* ...says things like a "supercrip" would say......or MAYBE just a certain type of Republican............"the Dignity of Work" patter..........did several weeks back}
I don't even know just WHAT I can tolerate.
I think I can work my way up in illustration & fine art..... with some more practice/and self-confidence and working out a color style that's relatively easy to do....
My Art teacher has one idea style-wise, but I've started to think about another one....that might produce faster results.....
>>>>>wait til I finish this please<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<but dudn;'t want to be bounced out by Inf comp
I also had been several years back in the work evaluation 15-day thing that the Fed Govt sponsered getting back to work via revamp or learn new skills money for education............
and I was def highlighted for my compter & hand drawn art.
and the profesionals who were counseling people SAID we should try for jobs that don't Consistantly stress us out...
well i think the genral joy of art-making etc would over tak...e the anxiety i might have from time top time......I if I can get my bearing better I'm {in a momemt of self-confidence *grabs it* } good enough to turn stuff out with some months 8- 18 mons with more of the above {practice/ style etc}
I could be sending stuff out maybe by end of summer even............depending
I only gave the Originsal 18 months parameter which tho i didn't get time to explain I UNCONCIOUOSLY figured in buffer time b/c o of Family Medical crisis, the new APt looking, AND the NASTINESS of My roomie WHO DRAINS a fair portion of my homelife energy including art-making.
________
I FINALLY realized one reason I often stay up after 12:30 AM - 2:00AM is that's often the ONLY time tye cranky roomie is NOT in the living room....so I can have PEACE & QUIET!
*kicks cranky roomie*
All that interfers with me trying to reset MY sleep cycle earlier after "breaking" it throu oct/nov /dec from the fabulous fun we had in NYC & on the net!
that IS my responsibilty-- but the other actions only came concious in the past several weeks!
I have figured that one out....altho the cranky one went out TWO DAYS IN A ROW
!! SO maybe she'll be out more now! tho last 2 years she wasn't that much even in spring/summer.
me & other nice new roomie were thrilled!
I found a collapseable :thingie" a "stand"it can be a lightstand or hold some other thing {in tandum with other light stands-- clip a white thick papers to throw white light into ta photoshoot...
this I am goingto get a light.with refeloector & Gripere to put omn in my room.where I have a portible drawing table....... FINALLY I can start working their at night and even afternoonj....my room dosen't get much light...
In fact I had started doing it beofre the over-head lights went out....... Super was away alot so couldn't get himto put them up.......
so that's what i'm also struggling with........
)
!!
As in orientation or whatever? As in sexual preference and what not?
I hear the term self-identify down here in NYC....often (not always, usually) refering to gender identity &/or sexual preference. Have had some recent TG aquaitences & friends "vs" my "older"{known thwem}gay/staight & bissexual ones.
"I never dreamed I'd love somebody like you, I never dreamed I'd lose somebody like you." That's sad!! 
Can u spell V-e-r-y G-r-a-t-f-u-l! for these!!!!!!!!!!!! 
