|09-14-2005, 09:18 AM||#1|
Join Date: Dec 2003
Local Time: 12:37 PM
out of control pt 17
DISCLAIMER: fiction pure and simple and almost over__________________
just a few more chapters to go !!!
It was awhile before he finally got Angie calm reassuring her she was not evil and going to burn in hell for what happened and telling him, he was relieved when she finally fell into an exhausted sleep in his arms, and as tired as he felt he knew there was no way he was going to sleep that night.
He was still in shock at what he had learned, but thinking on it now made everything fall into place as far as Angie’s behaviour was concerned, now he understood a little what made her the way she was from the day he had become involved with her.
He had always sensed there was something not right, that somehow her behaviour had been a cry for help, but what he had learned tonight had still shaken him.
It all made sense now, her self loathing, her hatred of her hometown all reminders of something she was trying hard to forget but couldn’t, which was why she was constantly on the brink of her own self destruction
The only question in his mind was why she hadn’t told him sooner? If he had known he would have been there for her more.. would have helped her and understood.
But he realised she was had been brainwashed by her father into believing it was all her fault and that she would be damned for telling anyone, he had seen the terrified look in her eyes after she had told him, it had taken all his power to persuade her that nothing or no one would harm her.
Now as he looked down at her sleeping form he felt a complete sense of helplessness, this was out of his league, he wasn’t sure what to say or do next to deal with this, he just felt an overwhelming sorrow that she was suffering such private pain and having to carry such a weighty secret burden which she had kept hidden all these years… no wonder she was screwed up.
All his former anger from earlier had long since dissipated. He knew he needed to show that despite what she had revealed tonight, he was not going to desert her, she would need him now more than ever, and he was going to try and be there for her in what ever way he could
It was late the following morning, Bono who had not slept, now sat up in the chair across the room smoking a cigarette in a pensive mood, watching Angie as she slowly pulled herself half up in a sitting position in bed letting out a little groan and pushing her dark tousled hair away from her face with a sweep of her hand, peering through eyes that refuse to open wide. Which was hardly surprising after the state she was in the night before, she looked rough and no doubt she felt it he imagined grimly
“Gawd, I feel like shite, what’s happened last night? Did we have a good time?” She asked uncertainly as if sensing his strange quiet mood
Despite the gravity of the situation Bono could not quell the small ironic laugh that rose at her questions. He started to realised she probably didn’t recall anything from the night before, now he had the bitter sweet task of telling her.. but where the hell did he start?
“Don’t you remember?” he asked, “It was quite a night” he took a deep draw from his cigarette
“Certainly one I won’t forget in a hurry” he added softly more to himself than her.
“Not really” she replied trying to swallow, her face screwing up at whatever taste was in her mouth. “I guess I was out of it pretty good”
Bono turned and crushed his cigarette butt out on the ashtray perched on his knee.
“Yeah I guess you were… I think you need to go easy on the drink, and whatever else you are taking Angie “You might think its helping you forget, but its just screwing you up more”
“Oh here we go, lecture time,” Angie retorted defensively, “I forgot I had to be on my best behaviour around you and the others, I-“
Bono wasn’t let her continue, there was things he needed to know and he wasn’t about to get into an argument with her over a whole other subject, so he interrupted her in mid sentence
“So you really don’t remember anything about last night, about what you done? about what you told me?”
Angie frowned, then shook her head not really, I remember sitting with you at the reception and feeling pissing fed up, whilst trying to pretend I was enjoying myself.. then I-” she tried to force herself to remember, but broke of there, looking over at him, her expression becoming wary, “Why? What did I do? What was it I told you?”
Bono got up from the chair and went over to her sitting on the bed next to her, knowing he had to let her know, as hard as it was for him.
“You were ready for ending it Angie, you were on the verge of slitting your wrists, and I manage to stop you, then you started saying things.. things about your father.. what he done to you.. don’t you remember now?” he enquired quietly.
Angie went completely still and looked stricken, as if not wanting to believe it, shaking her head “No.. I couldn’t have.. Oh Gawd I thought that was just some sodding nightmare that wasn’t real.. ” she then confessed. But now realising it wasn’t she was overcome with what she had done, “ I can’t believe I told you, How could I?” she now buried her face in her hands distraught at the thought of what he now knew.
Bono put his arms around her holding her, and felt her stiffen in his arms then pull away, “You don’t understand, I shouldn’t have told you, what is going to happen to me?”
“Its alright Angie” he soothed “nothing is going to happen to you and no one is going to hurt you.. understand?” he stated firmly” his blue eyes bore into hers as he tried to penetrate the fear and panic she was going through
She was not convinced, “How can you say that.. I mean you know what I did” she replied tearfully then she looked alarmed again
“You will not tell anyone promise me you won’t say anything to anybody.. I couldn’t bear it the shame of other people knowing..” she pleaded
“Its ok I won’t say anything to anyone else” Bono reassured her again, “But I want you to believe one thing Angie, it was not your fault what happened, do you understand? You did nothing wrong, you were just a child. Your father is the bad one here Angie, not you.. he was the one doing wrong, you are not to blame no matter what he said, he is the one who is sick.. and to blame you and say that it was your fault was even sicker” he finished trying to hide his own disgust, but not managing very well.
But she was still too dazed and distraught that her terrible secret was finally out to really take in what he was saying, he wasn’t sure he had convinced her. She was looking so vulnerable and lost, he put his arms around her again trying to give her some comfort, to make her realise he was there for her.
“We’ll get through this Angie, its going to be ok” he promised with determination
|09-14-2005, 05:33 PM||#3|
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Inside Bono's Mind
Local Time: 12:37 PM
That's true Bono's Doll...He's purely love!!!
Hope things will get better for them some day!!!!
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