WARNING: This chapter is pretty dark and disturbing and might be upsetting in that there is an ugly argument, attempted suicide and Angie reveals her abuse by her father though I am not going into great detail it still might be upsetting, if you are sensitive to this subject please skip it and do not read
“What the hell was that all about” Bono rounded on Angie once he had got them to the privacy of their hotel room Edge had booked for them to stay overnight during the wedding.
He never felt so angry in his whole life because he knew she was doing it deliberately to rile him up to cause trouble between him and Edge because she knew what close friends they were, and she seemed determined to go out of her way to humiliate them all just to get a kick out of it.
“What do you mean dragging me of like that” Angie exclaimed wildly, “Gawd Bono you and your little pals are so straight and uptight, you can’t even take a bit of fun” she drawled scathingly
“That was not fun, that was sick” Bono stated coldly, “What has got into you Angie, did you think I was going to stand by and let you continue make a show of yourself and me in front of everyone.. I have put up with a lot lately where you are concerned.. but tonight was the last straw understand”
“Like I care” Angie retorted, “I am sick of you and your precious band mates always looking down on me, I didn’t want to be here tonight you made me come remember.. maybe I have opened your eyes at last” she taunted “I am never going to play the little goody, goody wife, you can’t make me into something I am not, just to protect your precious image”
“This is not about my image or the band” Bono shot back in angry frustration, he got closer and grabbed her arm none to gently pulling her towards him so she could see the fury in his blue eyes.
“This is about you, all about you, seeking your fecking attention and making my life hell in the process.. well I am done trying to protect you, to care about you its obviously been a waste of time go out there and drink yourself to death or overdose on drugs… that’s what you want, I don’t care anymore” he released her pushing her away from him in disgust.
She staggered back a little but stood facing him, a strange glint in her dulled eyes, a small smile played on her lips.
“You see, this is what you get for not listening to me all those years ago.. I tried to tell you then I was no good, that I would destroy you and you wouldn’t listen.. now look what has happened” the last of the sentence came out like a loud sob, but then she threw her head back and started to laugh in what Bono could only describe as manic and hysterical, that suddenly cooled down his anger
“You should have listened to me!” she screeched at him, then as if all her fighting spirit seem to shrivel somewhere from inside her he watch her as her body crouched over shaking, tears welling up in her eyes as she added in a more quiet pleading tearful tone
“Why didn’t you listen to me and steer clear, now you see I am no good” she sobbed and rubbed her arm across her running nose and sniffed loudly as she backed further away from him “I ruin everything I touch.. I - I tried to tell you, now you see for yourself don’t you?
She flung her arms wide “This is what I am, this is who I am, I tried to be the person you wanted.. but I couldn’t I’m sorry I failed you, I failed myself.. its no good going on… I tried to tell you I was not worth saving.. now you know now you have to let me go” she shook her head.
“Just better letting me go” there was a strange haunting look in her eyes as she glanced around her as if looking for an escape, seeing the bathroom door open she fled in there shutting the door behind her, Bono heard it lock.
Alarm bells where going of like crazy in his head, the anger he felt for her replaced with panic and worry he hurried over and banged on the bathroom door.
“Ang, let me in please” there was a tremor in his voice despite the fact he tried to sound calm
“C’mon Ang we need to sort this out, open the door” he pleaded
“Go away Bono,” came her choked reply “Its better this way, better I get out of your life for good”
These words only increased Bono’s anxiety he felt his blood go cold, he banged even louder on the door.
“Angie listen to me” his voice was urgent, “I am not mad at you any more, do you understand, I just want to talk to you, don’t do anything stupid Ang, just open the bathroom door” he ordered
But there was no reply.
Having a real bad feeling about the whole situation Bono waited for only a few moments before he couldn’t bear it any more he threw himself against the bathroom door in an attempt to break it down to get in at Angie, it took a few goes but he finally achieved it, not caring he was damaging hotel property and almost wrecking his shoulder.. he just knew he had to get to her.
He almost fell through the doorway when it finally give to find Angie huddled in the corner, her face almost grotesque with the black mascara streaked down her pale cheeks her eyes all red and bloodshot. She was shaking, holding a razor blade close to her outstretched wrist, she froze at the sight of Bono standing before her, a wild look in her eyes
“Go away Bono” she manage to speak up.
Bono’s eyes rested on the blade in her trembling hand, his worst fears confirmed, only mildly relieved that she had not done anything yet and he had caught her on time.
He swallowed hard, and realised he would have to be careful what he said or done right now to keep her from tipping over the edge
“C’mon Ang” his voice was soft, persuasive as he could make it under the circumstances, never taking his eyes of the razorblade between her fingers as he spoke.
“No need for this, I am not angry with you anymore.. I am sorry.. lets talk about it eh?”
Angie shook her head seeming to have some inward battle with herself “Easier this way for both of us, this will be my last screw up huh?” she looked up at him her eyes overly bright before turning her attention to the razorblade again “Better ending it now, this is what I wanted for so long, should have done it a long time ago saved myself the hassle”
“Don’t talk like that Angie, you are scaring the shit out of me right now” Bono pleaded daring to take a step closer to her and slowly reached out his hand towards her.
“You don’t want to do this… I don’t want you to do this, just give me the blade then we can talk thing over and sort it all out”
“Why?” she asked simply looking up at him again “I don’t want to hurt you anymore Bono, you deserve better, just let me go” tears welled up in her eyes again, “Better if you just let me go” she mumbled lowering her head again.
“No, Angie” Bono’s voice became firm “I am not letting you go like this, I can’t.. please just put the blade down and talk to me”
As he spoke he crept closer to her “Please” he pleaded his outstretched hand close to hers “Don’t do this Angie” Bono’s heart was thudding loudly in his ears the moments seem to pass like hours as he prayed that she would not try and use the blade before he could get it from her.
She was crying again, her hand shaking even more as she held it above her wrist, and as she jerked back to tell him to go away, he took advantage of the situation to grab her arm and shake the blade from her hand, it dropped on the floor.
She let out a yell of indignation, But now Bono covered the blade with his foot and kicked it away still having the hold on her arm tugged her upright and out of the bathroom.
Angie was hysterical “You don’t know what you are doing” she howled trying to break free from him but he had his arms around her holding her tight, not giving her a chance to escape into the bathroom, finally she stopped struggling, her body to weak with the effort she fell against him still trembling violently
“I thought you understood at last… I am evil I don’t deserve to live, don’t you see I have always been evil” she babbled incoherently Bono could just about make her out.
“Its going to be ok Angie” he tried to sooth her holding her stroking her hair trying to calm her down
“No” she shook her head and tried to break free from him that mad haunting light in her eyes again as she looked up at him “He knows I am evil, from the demons for what I done.. for what I made him do.. it was all my fault don’t you see”
Bono stared down at her utterly lost, thinking the drugs had her raving, not sure what she was trying to tell him, yet felt whatever it was, seemed to be the cause of all this
“What was your fault.. who are you talking about Angie?” he demanded in bewilderment
“He would come into my room.. I didn’t really want him to, and get into my bed.. he said it was because I was a sinful little girl and I had to tell no one or I would be punished in hell and burn for what I was making him do” Angie was sobbing now
“I didn’t mean to be a bad girl, I wanted to be a good girl so he would stop, I just wanted my daddy to love me.. but I couldn’t… I-I just couldn’t” she finished in a small voice weeping into Bono’s chest
Bono held her trying to make sense of what she was telling him, it took him a while before his brain started to comprehend the implication of Angie’s broken down speech, even then he couldn’t quite accept what he thought he was hearing, that he pulled her away from him a little to look into her face
“What was it your father done on you Angie? When you said he came into you room.. into your bed?” he asked urgently “Did he-“ Bono broke of there unable to actually say what he thought because it was too terrible.
Angie just sobbed and suddenly looked frightened and clutched Bono tightly “I should not have told you.. I will burn in hell now.. I am bad I told you I am bad why didn’t you listen to me, please, please don’t tell anyone” she pleaded with genuine fear
“Oh feck Angie!” Bono exclaimed she had confirmed his worst suspicions. Shocked and dismayed he held her close to him “Its going to be alright Angie.. its going to be ok” he tried to soothe her automatically, though not sure himself how he was going to deal with what he had just learned….
“What the hell was that all about” Bono rounded on Angie once he had got them to the privacy of their hotel room Edge had booked for them to stay overnight during the wedding.
He never felt so angry in his whole life because he knew she was doing it deliberately to rile him up to cause trouble between him and Edge because she knew what close friends they were, and she seemed determined to go out of her way to humiliate them all just to get a kick out of it.
“What do you mean dragging me of like that” Angie exclaimed wildly, “Gawd Bono you and your little pals are so straight and uptight, you can’t even take a bit of fun” she drawled scathingly
“That was not fun, that was sick” Bono stated coldly, “What has got into you Angie, did you think I was going to stand by and let you continue make a show of yourself and me in front of everyone.. I have put up with a lot lately where you are concerned.. but tonight was the last straw understand”
“Like I care” Angie retorted, “I am sick of you and your precious band mates always looking down on me, I didn’t want to be here tonight you made me come remember.. maybe I have opened your eyes at last” she taunted “I am never going to play the little goody, goody wife, you can’t make me into something I am not, just to protect your precious image”
“This is not about my image or the band” Bono shot back in angry frustration, he got closer and grabbed her arm none to gently pulling her towards him so she could see the fury in his blue eyes.
“This is about you, all about you, seeking your fecking attention and making my life hell in the process.. well I am done trying to protect you, to care about you its obviously been a waste of time go out there and drink yourself to death or overdose on drugs… that’s what you want, I don’t care anymore” he released her pushing her away from him in disgust.
She staggered back a little but stood facing him, a strange glint in her dulled eyes, a small smile played on her lips.
“You see, this is what you get for not listening to me all those years ago.. I tried to tell you then I was no good, that I would destroy you and you wouldn’t listen.. now look what has happened” the last of the sentence came out like a loud sob, but then she threw her head back and started to laugh in what Bono could only describe as manic and hysterical, that suddenly cooled down his anger
“You should have listened to me!” she screeched at him, then as if all her fighting spirit seem to shrivel somewhere from inside her he watch her as her body crouched over shaking, tears welling up in her eyes as she added in a more quiet pleading tearful tone
“Why didn’t you listen to me and steer clear, now you see I am no good” she sobbed and rubbed her arm across her running nose and sniffed loudly as she backed further away from him “I ruin everything I touch.. I - I tried to tell you, now you see for yourself don’t you?
She flung her arms wide “This is what I am, this is who I am, I tried to be the person you wanted.. but I couldn’t I’m sorry I failed you, I failed myself.. its no good going on… I tried to tell you I was not worth saving.. now you know now you have to let me go” she shook her head.
“Just better letting me go” there was a strange haunting look in her eyes as she glanced around her as if looking for an escape, seeing the bathroom door open she fled in there shutting the door behind her, Bono heard it lock.
Alarm bells where going of like crazy in his head, the anger he felt for her replaced with panic and worry he hurried over and banged on the bathroom door.
“Ang, let me in please” there was a tremor in his voice despite the fact he tried to sound calm
“C’mon Ang we need to sort this out, open the door” he pleaded
“Go away Bono,” came her choked reply “Its better this way, better I get out of your life for good”
These words only increased Bono’s anxiety he felt his blood go cold, he banged even louder on the door.
“Angie listen to me” his voice was urgent, “I am not mad at you any more, do you understand, I just want to talk to you, don’t do anything stupid Ang, just open the bathroom door” he ordered
But there was no reply.
Having a real bad feeling about the whole situation Bono waited for only a few moments before he couldn’t bear it any more he threw himself against the bathroom door in an attempt to break it down to get in at Angie, it took a few goes but he finally achieved it, not caring he was damaging hotel property and almost wrecking his shoulder.. he just knew he had to get to her.
He almost fell through the doorway when it finally give to find Angie huddled in the corner, her face almost grotesque with the black mascara streaked down her pale cheeks her eyes all red and bloodshot. She was shaking, holding a razor blade close to her outstretched wrist, she froze at the sight of Bono standing before her, a wild look in her eyes
“Go away Bono” she manage to speak up.
Bono’s eyes rested on the blade in her trembling hand, his worst fears confirmed, only mildly relieved that she had not done anything yet and he had caught her on time.
He swallowed hard, and realised he would have to be careful what he said or done right now to keep her from tipping over the edge
“C’mon Ang” his voice was soft, persuasive as he could make it under the circumstances, never taking his eyes of the razorblade between her fingers as he spoke.
“No need for this, I am not angry with you anymore.. I am sorry.. lets talk about it eh?”
Angie shook her head seeming to have some inward battle with herself “Easier this way for both of us, this will be my last screw up huh?” she looked up at him her eyes overly bright before turning her attention to the razorblade again “Better ending it now, this is what I wanted for so long, should have done it a long time ago saved myself the hassle”
“Don’t talk like that Angie, you are scaring the shit out of me right now” Bono pleaded daring to take a step closer to her and slowly reached out his hand towards her.
“You don’t want to do this… I don’t want you to do this, just give me the blade then we can talk thing over and sort it all out”
“Why?” she asked simply looking up at him again “I don’t want to hurt you anymore Bono, you deserve better, just let me go” tears welled up in her eyes again, “Better if you just let me go” she mumbled lowering her head again.
“No, Angie” Bono’s voice became firm “I am not letting you go like this, I can’t.. please just put the blade down and talk to me”
As he spoke he crept closer to her “Please” he pleaded his outstretched hand close to hers “Don’t do this Angie” Bono’s heart was thudding loudly in his ears the moments seem to pass like hours as he prayed that she would not try and use the blade before he could get it from her.
She was crying again, her hand shaking even more as she held it above her wrist, and as she jerked back to tell him to go away, he took advantage of the situation to grab her arm and shake the blade from her hand, it dropped on the floor.
She let out a yell of indignation, But now Bono covered the blade with his foot and kicked it away still having the hold on her arm tugged her upright and out of the bathroom.
Angie was hysterical “You don’t know what you are doing” she howled trying to break free from him but he had his arms around her holding her tight, not giving her a chance to escape into the bathroom, finally she stopped struggling, her body to weak with the effort she fell against him still trembling violently
“I thought you understood at last… I am evil I don’t deserve to live, don’t you see I have always been evil” she babbled incoherently Bono could just about make her out.
“Its going to be ok Angie” he tried to sooth her holding her stroking her hair trying to calm her down
“No” she shook her head and tried to break free from him that mad haunting light in her eyes again as she looked up at him “He knows I am evil, from the demons for what I done.. for what I made him do.. it was all my fault don’t you see”
Bono stared down at her utterly lost, thinking the drugs had her raving, not sure what she was trying to tell him, yet felt whatever it was, seemed to be the cause of all this
“What was your fault.. who are you talking about Angie?” he demanded in bewilderment
“He would come into my room.. I didn’t really want him to, and get into my bed.. he said it was because I was a sinful little girl and I had to tell no one or I would be punished in hell and burn for what I was making him do” Angie was sobbing now
“I didn’t mean to be a bad girl, I wanted to be a good girl so he would stop, I just wanted my daddy to love me.. but I couldn’t… I-I just couldn’t” she finished in a small voice weeping into Bono’s chest
Bono held her trying to make sense of what she was telling him, it took him a while before his brain started to comprehend the implication of Angie’s broken down speech, even then he couldn’t quite accept what he thought he was hearing, that he pulled her away from him a little to look into her face
“What was it your father done on you Angie? When you said he came into you room.. into your bed?” he asked urgently “Did he-“ Bono broke of there unable to actually say what he thought because it was too terrible.
Angie just sobbed and suddenly looked frightened and clutched Bono tightly “I should not have told you.. I will burn in hell now.. I am bad I told you I am bad why didn’t you listen to me, please, please don’t tell anyone” she pleaded with genuine fear
“Oh feck Angie!” Bono exclaimed she had confirmed his worst suspicions. Shocked and dismayed he held her close to him “Its going to be alright Angie.. its going to be ok” he tried to soothe her automatically, though not sure himself how he was going to deal with what he had just learned….
