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Old 05-09-2006, 12:56 AM   #1
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Out Of Control - Chapter 19

**The following is a work of fiction. No offense intended to anyone, it’s all meant in good fun. Strong language, semi-adult themes

Chapter Nineteen

Waking up the morning after the concert at the Hollywood Palladium was as difficult a thing as anything Holly had possibly ever had to do. She wanted desperately to remain in the relative security of her bed. The deep dark abyss of dreamless sleep was her sanctuary. As she was drawn back to consciousness, the memory of the night before waited for her like a cat just outside the mousehole.

The party backstage had been in full swing by the time Holly had a chance to join the others. She’d found Edge seated on a couch with a guitar in his lap. There was another young man sitting across from him with his own guitar, listening intently to what Edge had to say. He paused briefly when she kissed him to say hello, but immediately returned to the conversation. Holly excused herself, having nothing to add about guitar construction or playing techniques.

She was dead tired and might well have simply slipped out for the night after one drink, if she hadn’t wanted to see Julie once more before they left LA. She knew she was worn out because it had only taken one beer to make her head spin and her legs unsteady. The second had her completely inebriated. Something had to change, she knew; and it had to be soon. She was constantly tired and sick to her stomach; too much drinking, too little sleep and far too much time to think.

The long stretches of highway were the worst. She drove or rode in the truck behind the bus more often these days. She couldn’t help but think about Edge and to think about Adam. To wonder if there was something she should have done differently. She wasn’t certain there was anything she even could have done differently. Things had simply played out in such a way that she could not imagine having made any different decisions.

Eventually, amongst the crowd, she found Julie. She was so obviously exhausted that her old friend pulled her into the bathroom, telling her she had something for her. As Holly watched, Julie withdrew a lipstick case from her purse, which, once opened, revealed a small plastic tube full of white powder. Holly knew, looking back at it today, that if she had just told her no, if she had just walked away, that things would be a lot different this morning.

But she hadn’t. She had watched with interest as Julie laid out two lines of the potent drug and showed her how to inhale it quickly. She had imitated her friend and immediately felt the rush of energy she had been promised. They had re-joined the party and danced together for a long time. Holly couldn’t begin to guess just how long, every memory was fuzzy as she struggled to recall everything. It was like a camera moving in and then out of focus.

At some point they had gotten separated, though she could not say how or why. When Edge and Bono left the party, she had refused to go with them. She was having fun, and she wanted to keep dancing. She told them goodbye and went off in search of her friend.

When she found her, she was standing much too close to Adam; not that he seemed to mind. In fact, he seemed to be encouraging it. Holly’s stomach twisted into a knot of jealousy, her hands clenching into fists instinctively. She drew a deep breath and tried to force herself to remain calm. There was no reason to be jealous. She and Adam were, after all, only friends now.

No, she wasn’t jealous. It was just a protective instinct. They were both her friends and she knew that they would be bad for one another. She watched with a sinking feeling as Julie leaned in to whisper something in Adam’s ear. Something which made him chuckle and raise his eyebrows. Julie made a point of ‘accidentally’ brushing her chest up against Adam’s.

“Do you mind if I borrow my friend?” Holly asked Adam quickly, surprising them both as she appeared out of the crowd to take Julie by the arm. She dragged her away without even slowing her pace; pulling her into the relative safety of the hall near the ladies room.

The next few minutes were a bit of a blur in Holly’s mind. It had happened so quickly that there hadn’t been any time to think. Holly had demanded to know why Julie was flirting with Adam, using the fact that she had earlier set he sights on Bono as an excuse. Julie had made up some story about Bono not being interested, which Holly had not believed for a second.

“Adam’s great, Hol. Sexy, charming, funny… I can see why you fell in love with him.” Julie had added, touching the raw spot on Holly’s soul and making her wince inwardly.

“I don’t love Adam. I just want you to stay away from him!” She’d told her hotly. Julie had argued that if Holly was not in love with him, then there was no reason for her not to pursue him herself. The next thing she knew, the two of them had stumbled out of the hallway into the main room, slapping, scratching, pushing, and pulling each other’s hair.

They slammed into a group of people who had been standing around chatting, and they were sent spilling onto the floor. The fall did nothing to bring them back to their senses, though. In fact, they barely seemed to notice. They were still fighting as they tried to struggle to their feet. The scene was almost funny to anyone looking on it from a safe distance.

“Hey!” Holly remembered hearing voices calling at them, but it had seemed to be from far off. Her focus was on the turmoil that she had held inside herself for so long, and which was finally overflowing violently. She felt someone grab one of her wrists and struck blindly out at them.

“Holly!” Adam’s voice broke through the red haze of pain and anger in her mind as he caught her other arm and drew her up against his body and held her there. She pushed away from him violently, stumbling backwards and screaming at him to let her go. When he reached out to her again, she slapped his hand away, turning on her heel and rushing out the door.

She didn’t want anything to do with him. It was too hard to keep telling herself that everything she felt for him would fade away in time. Too hard not to compare the whirlpool of emotions he aroused in her by his mere presence and the gentle stirring she felt for Edge. Edge, who was so sweet and wonderful and who loved her. Every logical part of her told her that what she felt for Adam was not love.

So why, she had to wonder, could she not convince her heart of that?

She had hoped everything would seem simpler in the morning, but aside from the hangover she now suffered, nothing had changed at all.


Holly hoped her hangover wasn’t too apparent as she breezed into the small restaurant just after one o’clock that afternoon. It was a couple of hours from home, but when her parents had heard she’d be in San Francisco they had insisted on meeting her for lunch. She greeted them with the brightest smile she could manage and hugged each of them in turn.

“Mom, Dad… this is um, Edge. He’s in the band.” Holly introduced them to Edge, who had somehow managed to get her to invite him. She still wasn’t certain how that had happened. Her mother raised her eyebrows in interest and she looked the young man up and down, sizing him up. Her father hesitated only slightly before shaking his hand firmly, and that pause seemed to be only in reaction to his name.

The four of them settled into their seats and made pleasant conversation over a light California lunch. She had not introduced him as her boyfriend, but it was clear that they had assumed as much already. It wasn’t until after they’d eaten and Holly excused herself to use the restroom that anything was said specifically.

Her mother was standing at the sink, fixing her make up in the mirror, when Holly emerged from the bathroom stall.

“I have to say, Holly, I was afraid you would end up with a musician when all of this started. But Edge is not at all what I expected. I’m impressed.” She told her, and Holly’s heart felt heavier with each word. “I’m so happy to see you with such a nice young man.” Her mother continued. Holly washed her hands and dried them on a paper towel, waiting for her mother to stop raving about Edge for long enough to take a breath.

“He is nice, Mom, but we’re not that serious or anything. You make it sound like we’re engaged or something.” She told her. Her mother smiled brightly and touched her on the nose with one finger, as she’d done since Holly was a baby.

“Not yet.” She said. “But I wouldn’t be surprised to see a ring on your finger soon. He’s a keeper.”

Holly felt her chest tighten and realized she couldn’t seem to breathe. She closed her eyes against the wave of dizziness that came over her but couldn’t quell the wave of nausea it created. She hurried to the toilet and quickly regurgitated the lunch her parents had just bought her. She wasn’t sure if it was the hangover or the panic which had caused her stomach to twist into knots. She didn’t have time to think about it with her mother hovering over her and cooing soothingly.

Holly rinsed her mouth and splashed cold water on her face, and looked up into the mirror to see her mother smiling at her. It seemed a rather odd time and place to smile, and Holly couldn’t hide the bewilderment she felt. Her mother laughed and stroked her hair as she had when she was a little girl.

“Maybe our family will be getting bigger even sooner than I thought.” She said. Holly stared at her blankly for a long moment before she elaborated. “A new son-in-law and a grandchild, perhaps?” Holly’s heart seemed to drop completely out of her chest finally and she thought she might lose what was left of her lunch.

“No, no, no…. that’s not… I’m just not feeling well…” she told her mother, who smirked back at her as if she knew something Holly didn’t. Holly rested her forehead and hands against the side of the sink for a moment before splashing her face once again with cold water.

What her mother most certainly did not realize was that Holly and Edge had only been together very recently. The first time they’d made love had been less than a week ago. If Holly were pregnant, the baby would not be Edge’s, but Adam’s.

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Old 05-09-2006, 03:00 AM   #2
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OH MAN! You are evil! I can't believe you are going there! Don't leave me hanging! Grrrr! Another great chapter!

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Old 05-09-2006, 02:06 PM   #3
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poor holly!!!!
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Old 05-09-2006, 02:22 PM   #4
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Old 05-09-2006, 02:41 PM   #5
Protecting my eyes ARRRR!!!
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BUt to leave us hanging

6 countries,11 shows. AMAZING FRIENDS AND MEMORIES = Jem's priceless 360 Tour
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Old 05-10-2006, 01:12 AM   #6
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Wow! Great chapter, SG!

*off to read Ch. 20*
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Old 05-11-2006, 06:00 PM   #7
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Awesome as always

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