Sad_Girl
Blue Crack Supplier
**The following is a work of fiction. No offense intended to anyone, it’s all meant in good fun. Strong language, semi-adult themes
Chapter Fifteen
Larry was laying on the sleeping bag he had stretched out over the questionable hotel bedcover, thinking about how he was going to approach Alyx with his proposal. It was a rather unorthodox approach to dating and love, he understood that. He still thought it was a better way of approaching things, to try and see things as an arrangement between two friends. They would agree to be there for one another in all the ways people expected their lovers to be; only they would have a better idea before they got in over their heads what it was they wanted. It was logic, where everyone usually chose to ignore it.
He was fine with the concept of romance and love, but he needed something of a safety net. It was too painful and too messy when the love people relied upon was built on a weak foundation and things fell apart. Alyx was smart and world savvy, he reasoned, and if he had the chance to explain his reasoning to her, she would see that he was not being so cold as many women would think. His fingers beat out an unconscious rhythm against his denim clad thigh as he thought, imitating the rapid, nervous beat of his own heart.
The rap on the door interrupted his timing and broke his chain of thought, drawing him out of his own mind and back into the reality of the hotel room. He glanced at the clock. 3 a.m. Bono was snoring and mumbling in his sleep in the next bed, oblivious to the lamp which was still glowing between the beds or the knock at the door. Larry rolled off the bed and opened the door without bothering to check the peep hole. Who else but Adam or Edge would be at their door this time of night?
His heart nearly jumped out of his chest when he saw two of the girls who’d been following them standing there, dressed like something out of a fourteen year old boys wet dream.
“What the fuck?” He muttered, not wanting or expecting an answer from the girls who looked nearly as shocked as he felt.
“Oh! Oh, God! We thought…” One of them tried to explain, stammering nervously now that she’d been greeted with Larry’s irritated frown.
“We thought this was Adam’s room.” The other girl explained. Larry rubbed his eyes and sighed. “Unless… you were lonely?” He scowled at the two of them. Partly, he wanted to shake some sense into them and the other part wanted to lecture them on the reasons why they should be anywhere except at the door of some guy they didn’t know, asking to come into his hotel room at 3 o’clock in the morning. He settled for slamming the door without saying anything at all.
He at least knew Adam had not invited them, or they would’ve found the right room. Natalie had been right when she’d said they would be surprised at the things people would do to try and get a piece of them. His chest grew tight at the thought of living his life in full view of everyone who took interest.
“What was that?” Bono mumbled, rolling over in bed and blinking up at Larry tiredly.
“Wrong number.” He replied dryly. This satisfied Bono, apparently. He rolled back over onto his belly and began to snore softly, and Larry wondered if he’d really been awake at all or just talking in his sleep. Would he think it had been a dream, in the morning? He probably wouldn’t remember it at all.
Larry stripped out of his jeans and shirt and climbed into his sleeping bag, turning out the light and wondering what Alyx might be dreaming of. Then he wondered what would have happened if she had been here when the girls had shown up. He smiled so hard at the thought that his cheeks began to ache. Alyx was not overly expressive, but he had witnessed her temper flare once or twice. It was enough to let him know he did not want to be on the receiving end of her anger.
He respected her ability to keep her cool; to hide her emotions under a mask of indifference. He was also curious to get a glimpse under that mask and see if she was as passionate as her eyes had led him to believe.
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Holly paused before knocking, needing a moment to muster her courage. She knew Natalie was usually very busy, and although she felt more comfortable around her since their arrival in New York, she’d never asked her for a personal favor before. Finally, she lifted her hand and rapped her knuckles against the door, making it too late to change her mind.
She thought, for a moment, that she heard hushed voices arguing. The longer she waited, the more she wondered if she had interrupted something between Natalie and a man. She had never let on that she had a boyfriend or lover of any sort, but that didn’t mean she didn’t have one. In fact, Edge had mentioned something earlier about her reunion with Bruce Springsteen.
Holly seriously considered slipping away quickly and quietly, embarrassed at the prospect of having interrupted a romantic rendezvous. Before she could act on the urge, however, the door swung open to reveal a slightly disheveled Natalie. Her shirt was untucked from her trousers, hanging crookedly from her shoulders as it was buttoned incorrectly, and her hair was free of it’s usual pony-tail or braid. She looked younger with her hair loose and a bit wild. Perhaps it was the flush in her cheeks that added to her beauty. Whatever it was, Holly was convinced she had come knocking at a very bad time.
“Oh, uh..! I’m sorry if this is a bad time…” She stammered, her eyes moving to the left and right, glancing over Natalie’s shoulders to look for anyone else in the room. She found no one.
“It’s fine, it’s fine.” Natalie replied, a bit too quickly. “I was just taking a nap.” She said, running a hand over the wrinkles in her blouse. “Is something wrong?” She asked when Holly did not explain her reason for being there.
“No, nothing’s wrong. I just… I don’t know my way around since I’ve never been to New York before and I know you’ve spent some time in the city. I thought maybe you could give me some advice. Edge wants to go out Monday, and I wanted to wear something nice but I don’t have anything like that with me, really. Where should I go to find a dress that won’t cost me everything I have?” Holly asked, chewing on her lower lip anxiously.
“Oh. Um…” Natalie scratched her head distractedly as she considered the question for a moment. “You know what? Why don’t I go with you? We can go during the show tonight, since they don’t need either of us much.” It was the middle of a series of shows, so Holly and the others in the road crew didn’t have as much to do since the stage was already set up, and Natalie’s job was much the same. Everything was running smoothly at the moment.
“That… that would be great. If you really don’t mind.” Holly replied gratefully.
“Not at all. I don’t get out for anything personal much, it’ll be fun.” She said, smiling sincerely. Holly could not help but feel a bit foolish for ever being afraid of this woman. She smiled and thanked her again, making plans to meet at six in the hotel lobby before saying goodbye. There was a bounce in her step when she left, and she found herself looking forward to the outing.
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“Can I come out now?” Bono called from the bathroom when he heard Natalie close and lock the door.
“Shh!” Natalie shushed him, a finger pressed to her lips. “Your voice is pretty easily recognizable, you know.” She scolded him playfully. He smirked at her as he stepped back out into the main room and settled back on the bed.
“That was close. I told you we couldn’t do this during the day.” She said as she stretched out beside him, her head against his shoulder and the palm of her hand against his bare chest.
“I think you loved it.” He teased, kissing her hair. “You get off on the danger; sneaking around and trying not to get caught.”
“Not exactly.” She laughed dryly.
“Have you done this before?” He asked after a slight pause, as if he had been waiting for the right moment to ask her that question. She leaned up on one elbow so she could look at him, her brows drawing together in concern.
“What?”
“I mean, other than when you were with your co-star. Since you’ve been working as a road manager, have you had… you know… with someone while you were on the road? You know, and had to keep it secret like this?”
“No! I thought you knew that. I told you before.”
“Well, I mean, if it was something you were still trying to keep secret…”
“Why are you asking me this?” Natalie demanded, sitting up and sliding away from his touch.
“I was just… I wondered, that’s all. After the other night with Bruce…”
“Oh my God!” Natalie laughed out loud, her voice a mixture of surprise and irritation. “Do you think I make a habit of this? I go to bed with someone on every tour I manage? Then tell them it’s a secret to make it some kind of twisted game?”
“I wasn’t saying that.”
“What were you saying, then?”
“I was… I just… When I saw the way he hugged you and how happy you were to see him… I was a little jealous.” He admitted. Natalie’s heart leapt in excitement at this, though she fought back the surge of happiness it awakened in her. She shouldn’t want him to be jealous of anyone; that meant he was getting possessive of her, developing deeper feelings than he ought to. If she was happy about it, that also meant she was doing the same. She sighed and settled back into the crook of his arm, letting his warmth wash over her.
“First of all, jealousy has no place between us. If it did, I’d have had a fit by now over all of the girls you’ve kissed at shows.” She told him, and he grinned sheepishly at her words. “Secondly, I was never anything but friends with Bruce. Or any of the people I’ve worked with. I haven’t been with anyone since I went to NYU.”
“Alright.” He told her, accepting her word without further question. They sat together on the bed in a long moment of silence before he said, “So, you don’t know what to call us, and you don’t want people to know about it. You’ll probably be angry with me for telling you that I’m in love with you, then.”
He felt her entire body grow still. She wasn’t even breathing for a moment, and fear seeped into Bono’s system. Fear that he had finally reached the limit of his ability to charm her. Fear that despite his sincerity, he had only managed to frighten her away. Fear that she neither returned his feelings, nor would she ever.
“I’ve been in love with you for so long, I can’t imagine not loving you.” She told him, her head once again resting against his shoulder, her fingers swirling absently through the coarse hair on his chest and belly. Bono sighed with relief, hugging her gently and pressing a kiss to her forehead. She had more to say, he could tell, but he silenced her with a deep, probing kiss.
She could tell him all the reasons why it wouldn’t work later. For now, they were in love.
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It was undeniably strange after the show that night, with Holly, Natalie and Alyx missing. Holly had invited Alyx to join them at the last moment, and so the girls had taken the night off together. They had all grown quite used to having the women around all the time, and although they were not the only women working with the band, it quickly became clear that they were the most deeply involved.
They had just returned to the hotel after the show and were waiting for the elevator doors to close when they saw the women climbing out of a cab in front of the glass doors in the lobby. Larry reached out and stopped the doors in the last moment and hurried back out into the lobby to greet them.
“That was a long shopping trip.” He said, smiling playfully as he took several of the bags the women had been carrying. “Did you have a good night?” He asked the group of women suspiciously. It wasn’t hard to figure out that they’d been up to more than just shopping.
“Yes, we did, thankyouverymuch.” Holly slurred, surprising him with a fat kiss on the cheek. His expression of surprise set all three of them laughing and he shot a glance at Edge and Bono who had decided to give up on holding the elevator and investigate what was so funny.
“You’re pissed, aren’t you?” He asked, although it was a stupid question now that he looked them over and saw their relaxed faces and bloodshot eyes.
“Why would I be mad?” Holly asked, her eyebrows drawing together in confusion. Alyx laughed so hard she could hardly catch her breath enough to inform her young American friend that ‘pissed’ meant drunk.
“We went out for dinner and had a few drinks.” Natalie informed them, trying to sound aloof and dismissive and hide her embarrassment at having been caught in such a state. She had certainly not intended to drink as much as she had ended up drinking.
“I feel so left out.” Bono joked, opening his arms and receiving a compensatory hug from first Alyx and then Holly. He opened his arms to Natalie and she patted him on top of the head as she passed by on her way to the elevator.
“Hi.” Holly greeted Edge, smiling at him coyly and lowering her eyes flirtatiously. Alyx chuckled at the way his face flushed in response to the girls attentions, reaching for her bags and intending to follow Natalie. Larry held tight to the shopping bags, however, insisting on carrying them for the women.
“Should we hold the lift?” Bono asked, gesturing out into the lobby at Edge and Holly who stood close to each other as Holly whispered something in his ear.
“I think they’ve forgotten that we exist at all.” Alyx replied, pushing the button for the eleventh floor.
The women separated the bags according to whom they belonged with in the elevator and parted ways once they reached their floor. Larry insisted on helping Alyx to her room, although she assured him repeatedly that she was not so bad off that she’d get lost in the hallway. Bono volunteered to see Natalie to her room, but she refused his offer and so he wished his friends goodnight as they reached the door to his hotel room, leaving them alone.
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“I missed you tonight.” Edge told Holly gently, reaching up to take a lock of her blonde hair between his thumb and forefinger. He rolled it between his fingers absently as she wrapped her arms around his waist and closed the distance between them completely.
“Really?” She asked, smiling playfully and nuzzling her nose against his own. Edge nodded slightly, brushing his lips over hers softly and pulling back when she tried to kiss him. She cocked an eyebrow at him and smiled crookedly in response, one hand sliding down into the back pocket of his jeans. “I was thinking about you all night.” She whispered in his ear, catching the pierced lobe in her soft lips and sucking gently on it.
“Thinking what?” he asked, his heart pounding wildly and his palms starting to sweat. Although they had spent plenty of nights in the sweet pursuit of kissing and cuddling, they had not yet had an encounter which had turned into something deeper. The look she’d given him when she said hello had already been more erotic than anything they’d done before. Anticipation dried his throat and made his tongue swell, an instinctive reaction to the change of dynamics between them.
“Thinking that you were an incredible kisser, for one.” She replied, looking at him again the way she had when she greeted him a moment ago. She had never looked at him like that, but he had seen the look in her eyes before. He’d seen her look at Adam that way more than once, when they thought no one was paying them any attention. Suddenly, the excitement of the moment fled from him, leaving him no longer pleasantly aroused but sick to his stomach. He smiled weakly and took a step back, making her frown in disappointment.
“Edge?” She asked, reaching out to touch his cheek. He caught her hand in his own and held it. It felt less like a romantic gesture and more like a defensive one, to Holly. She let him lead her to the elevator and waited for the doors to close before she spoke again.
“What’s wrong? Did I do something wrong?” She asked, and he shook his head and murmured that she had not. He was retreating inside of his thoughts, trying to understand the unwanted reaction to her desire. She knew when he grew quiet like this that it would do no good to try and draw him out. He would be quiet and distracted no matter what she did, and so she simply sighed and leaned back against the wall of the elevator.
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Alyx unlocked the door to her room and led Larry in, hoping he didn’t notice the way she was shaking. She did her best to retain her inhibitions despite the alcohol trying to wash them away. She fought the urge to start rambling to him about everything he made her feel, asking him all the questions she’d wanted to ask since she first met him.
He put the bags on one of the beds and stood beside the open door, leaning his back against the frame. His hands were shoved deep into his pockets and his eyes were on his shoes, examining them as if they were a precious work of art. She felt her heart flutter at the image, the perfect picture of ‘cool’. She was sure it was at least partly a practiced pose. It was too reminiscent of the images of James Dean or Elvis Presley to be a totally natural thing for him. Still, he didn’t look as if he were trying at all.
“You can stay, if you’d like. I haven’t anything to drink to offer you, but if you want to watch TV or something…” She offered, her words trailing off as she tried to seem as cool and casual as she could. She didn’t want him to hear in her voice just how much she would like it if he did stay.
“Yeah, ok.” He agreed, his hair falling in his eyes as he nodded. He raked a hand through the light brown mop, his silver blue eyes meeting hers just long enough to make her heart skip. He closed the door and moved to sit in the chair in the far corner of the room as she turned on the TV. She slipped out of her coat and shoes and sat on the foot of the bed near him.
“Is that a tattoo?” She heard him ask, then before she could reply she felt his fingers on her skin. She let her eyes close as he traced the lines of the intricate design that peeked out from under the left side of her sleeveless shirt. “That is so cool, I want to get a tattoo so bad.” He told her, making her smile.
She loved the way Larry could go from being a quiet, brooding young man to seeming more like a boy. His enthusiasm always made him seem younger. This was the way he seemed to her when he talked about the motorcycle he planned to buy.
“Of what?” She asked, turning to face him as he removed his hand from her shoulder and sat back in his chair.
“I’m still deciding.” He replied, rubbing his nose nervously, his eyes shifting to the left. Alyx grinned at him.
“You’re not scared are you?” She teased, and he flashed her a scowl.
“I’m not scared. I just… don’t know about letting someone at me with a needle like that.” He informed her, his cheeks turning red. She covered her mouth with one hand to muffle her laughter, and he tried his best to look angry at her. He couldn’t maintain his scowl for long, however, a smile pressing against his cheeks until fighting it was impossible and he was grinning nearly as much as she was.
“It does hurt, though, right?” He asked.
“Well, yeah. It’s different for different people, I think. I mean, people tolerate pain differently. I didn’t think it was that bad, really. It just sort of stung and burned a little. But I heard a guy getting one done once and he was cursing and screaming with every breath.”
“You have more than one?” Larry asked, interest sparkling in his eyes like diamonds.
“I have two.” Alyx told him, stopping there and making him wait for more detail. Finally he asked what they were, and (perhaps of more importance) where they were. “This one, on my back, runs along the left side of my shoulder and down about halfway.” She informed him, touching the spot of skin which he had so recently touched himself.
“It’s a design of my own, it’s sort of a combination of a Celtic cross and an oak tree. It has roots and branches and leaves, but it is all intertwined into a cross.” She explained.
“Can I see it?” He asked, to which Alyx quickly replied,
“Are you asking me to take me shirt off, Larry Mullen?” Her words and smile brought a fresh blush to his cheeks and a rebelliously shy smile to his lips.
“Mebbe.” He replied smartly, making Alyx’s pulse jump. It was her turn to blush, apparently.
“Erm… heh… the, uh, other tattoo is in Ogham. A druidic rune.” She informed him, pausing to be certain he understood. “It’s ‘Luis’, which represents a Rowan tree. It’s for protection.”
“Protection from what?”
“Whatever a person needs to be protected from, I suppose.” She told him, turning away to look at the television. Their conversation was venturing too close to things she was not prepared to tell him just yet.
“You know a lot about that sort of thing, do you?” He asked, sensing her hesitation.
“What? The Druids?” She replied. “Not a lot. I went through a rebellious phase. The church called our ancestors Pagans and told us that we should not want to know much about them. I sought out information, learned to read some Ogham, got to know some of the beliefs. They weren’t nearly as wicked a bunch as the Catholic Church would have ye believe.” She informed him.
“Aw, go on now. You’re not tryin’ to tell me the Catholic Church has flaws, are you?” he laughed, making her chuckle, too.
“So.” He sighed, settling back into his seat comfortably. “Are you going to take your shirt off or not?” He asked, a devilish smile on his lips. Alyx pursed her lips and tossed a pillow at him.
“No, I don’t think I will.” She told him curtly, acting as if she were offended. “You weren’t very polite about asking, after all.”
“Normally I don’t have to ask.” He retorted. “Girls come up to me on the street and start lifting their shirts all the time.”
“Maybe you’d better go and find one of those girls then.” She told him, the amusement fading from her voice.
“Hey, I was just…” Larry started to explain, but Alyx waved a dismissive hand at him and so he let it drop.
A long moment of awkward silence passed before he rose from his seat. “There is something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about.” He told her seriously. “But I don’t think tonight’s a good time. Think we could have lunch together tomorrow?”
Alyx nodded mutely, her mind racing to figure out what he might be thinking. She distractedly wished him a good night as he stepped out of the room and closed the door between them. She had never had trouble reading a man’s interest in her, or lack thereof. At that moment, however, she had no clue what was going on in Larry’s mind.
Chapter Fifteen
Larry was laying on the sleeping bag he had stretched out over the questionable hotel bedcover, thinking about how he was going to approach Alyx with his proposal. It was a rather unorthodox approach to dating and love, he understood that. He still thought it was a better way of approaching things, to try and see things as an arrangement between two friends. They would agree to be there for one another in all the ways people expected their lovers to be; only they would have a better idea before they got in over their heads what it was they wanted. It was logic, where everyone usually chose to ignore it.
He was fine with the concept of romance and love, but he needed something of a safety net. It was too painful and too messy when the love people relied upon was built on a weak foundation and things fell apart. Alyx was smart and world savvy, he reasoned, and if he had the chance to explain his reasoning to her, she would see that he was not being so cold as many women would think. His fingers beat out an unconscious rhythm against his denim clad thigh as he thought, imitating the rapid, nervous beat of his own heart.
The rap on the door interrupted his timing and broke his chain of thought, drawing him out of his own mind and back into the reality of the hotel room. He glanced at the clock. 3 a.m. Bono was snoring and mumbling in his sleep in the next bed, oblivious to the lamp which was still glowing between the beds or the knock at the door. Larry rolled off the bed and opened the door without bothering to check the peep hole. Who else but Adam or Edge would be at their door this time of night?
His heart nearly jumped out of his chest when he saw two of the girls who’d been following them standing there, dressed like something out of a fourteen year old boys wet dream.
“What the fuck?” He muttered, not wanting or expecting an answer from the girls who looked nearly as shocked as he felt.
“Oh! Oh, God! We thought…” One of them tried to explain, stammering nervously now that she’d been greeted with Larry’s irritated frown.
“We thought this was Adam’s room.” The other girl explained. Larry rubbed his eyes and sighed. “Unless… you were lonely?” He scowled at the two of them. Partly, he wanted to shake some sense into them and the other part wanted to lecture them on the reasons why they should be anywhere except at the door of some guy they didn’t know, asking to come into his hotel room at 3 o’clock in the morning. He settled for slamming the door without saying anything at all.
He at least knew Adam had not invited them, or they would’ve found the right room. Natalie had been right when she’d said they would be surprised at the things people would do to try and get a piece of them. His chest grew tight at the thought of living his life in full view of everyone who took interest.
“What was that?” Bono mumbled, rolling over in bed and blinking up at Larry tiredly.
“Wrong number.” He replied dryly. This satisfied Bono, apparently. He rolled back over onto his belly and began to snore softly, and Larry wondered if he’d really been awake at all or just talking in his sleep. Would he think it had been a dream, in the morning? He probably wouldn’t remember it at all.
Larry stripped out of his jeans and shirt and climbed into his sleeping bag, turning out the light and wondering what Alyx might be dreaming of. Then he wondered what would have happened if she had been here when the girls had shown up. He smiled so hard at the thought that his cheeks began to ache. Alyx was not overly expressive, but he had witnessed her temper flare once or twice. It was enough to let him know he did not want to be on the receiving end of her anger.
He respected her ability to keep her cool; to hide her emotions under a mask of indifference. He was also curious to get a glimpse under that mask and see if she was as passionate as her eyes had led him to believe.
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Holly paused before knocking, needing a moment to muster her courage. She knew Natalie was usually very busy, and although she felt more comfortable around her since their arrival in New York, she’d never asked her for a personal favor before. Finally, she lifted her hand and rapped her knuckles against the door, making it too late to change her mind.
She thought, for a moment, that she heard hushed voices arguing. The longer she waited, the more she wondered if she had interrupted something between Natalie and a man. She had never let on that she had a boyfriend or lover of any sort, but that didn’t mean she didn’t have one. In fact, Edge had mentioned something earlier about her reunion with Bruce Springsteen.
Holly seriously considered slipping away quickly and quietly, embarrassed at the prospect of having interrupted a romantic rendezvous. Before she could act on the urge, however, the door swung open to reveal a slightly disheveled Natalie. Her shirt was untucked from her trousers, hanging crookedly from her shoulders as it was buttoned incorrectly, and her hair was free of it’s usual pony-tail or braid. She looked younger with her hair loose and a bit wild. Perhaps it was the flush in her cheeks that added to her beauty. Whatever it was, Holly was convinced she had come knocking at a very bad time.
“Oh, uh..! I’m sorry if this is a bad time…” She stammered, her eyes moving to the left and right, glancing over Natalie’s shoulders to look for anyone else in the room. She found no one.
“It’s fine, it’s fine.” Natalie replied, a bit too quickly. “I was just taking a nap.” She said, running a hand over the wrinkles in her blouse. “Is something wrong?” She asked when Holly did not explain her reason for being there.
“No, nothing’s wrong. I just… I don’t know my way around since I’ve never been to New York before and I know you’ve spent some time in the city. I thought maybe you could give me some advice. Edge wants to go out Monday, and I wanted to wear something nice but I don’t have anything like that with me, really. Where should I go to find a dress that won’t cost me everything I have?” Holly asked, chewing on her lower lip anxiously.
“Oh. Um…” Natalie scratched her head distractedly as she considered the question for a moment. “You know what? Why don’t I go with you? We can go during the show tonight, since they don’t need either of us much.” It was the middle of a series of shows, so Holly and the others in the road crew didn’t have as much to do since the stage was already set up, and Natalie’s job was much the same. Everything was running smoothly at the moment.
“That… that would be great. If you really don’t mind.” Holly replied gratefully.
“Not at all. I don’t get out for anything personal much, it’ll be fun.” She said, smiling sincerely. Holly could not help but feel a bit foolish for ever being afraid of this woman. She smiled and thanked her again, making plans to meet at six in the hotel lobby before saying goodbye. There was a bounce in her step when she left, and she found herself looking forward to the outing.
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“Can I come out now?” Bono called from the bathroom when he heard Natalie close and lock the door.
“Shh!” Natalie shushed him, a finger pressed to her lips. “Your voice is pretty easily recognizable, you know.” She scolded him playfully. He smirked at her as he stepped back out into the main room and settled back on the bed.
“That was close. I told you we couldn’t do this during the day.” She said as she stretched out beside him, her head against his shoulder and the palm of her hand against his bare chest.
“I think you loved it.” He teased, kissing her hair. “You get off on the danger; sneaking around and trying not to get caught.”
“Not exactly.” She laughed dryly.
“Have you done this before?” He asked after a slight pause, as if he had been waiting for the right moment to ask her that question. She leaned up on one elbow so she could look at him, her brows drawing together in concern.
“What?”
“I mean, other than when you were with your co-star. Since you’ve been working as a road manager, have you had… you know… with someone while you were on the road? You know, and had to keep it secret like this?”
“No! I thought you knew that. I told you before.”
“Well, I mean, if it was something you were still trying to keep secret…”
“Why are you asking me this?” Natalie demanded, sitting up and sliding away from his touch.
“I was just… I wondered, that’s all. After the other night with Bruce…”
“Oh my God!” Natalie laughed out loud, her voice a mixture of surprise and irritation. “Do you think I make a habit of this? I go to bed with someone on every tour I manage? Then tell them it’s a secret to make it some kind of twisted game?”
“I wasn’t saying that.”
“What were you saying, then?”
“I was… I just… When I saw the way he hugged you and how happy you were to see him… I was a little jealous.” He admitted. Natalie’s heart leapt in excitement at this, though she fought back the surge of happiness it awakened in her. She shouldn’t want him to be jealous of anyone; that meant he was getting possessive of her, developing deeper feelings than he ought to. If she was happy about it, that also meant she was doing the same. She sighed and settled back into the crook of his arm, letting his warmth wash over her.
“First of all, jealousy has no place between us. If it did, I’d have had a fit by now over all of the girls you’ve kissed at shows.” She told him, and he grinned sheepishly at her words. “Secondly, I was never anything but friends with Bruce. Or any of the people I’ve worked with. I haven’t been with anyone since I went to NYU.”
“Alright.” He told her, accepting her word without further question. They sat together on the bed in a long moment of silence before he said, “So, you don’t know what to call us, and you don’t want people to know about it. You’ll probably be angry with me for telling you that I’m in love with you, then.”
He felt her entire body grow still. She wasn’t even breathing for a moment, and fear seeped into Bono’s system. Fear that he had finally reached the limit of his ability to charm her. Fear that despite his sincerity, he had only managed to frighten her away. Fear that she neither returned his feelings, nor would she ever.
“I’ve been in love with you for so long, I can’t imagine not loving you.” She told him, her head once again resting against his shoulder, her fingers swirling absently through the coarse hair on his chest and belly. Bono sighed with relief, hugging her gently and pressing a kiss to her forehead. She had more to say, he could tell, but he silenced her with a deep, probing kiss.
She could tell him all the reasons why it wouldn’t work later. For now, they were in love.
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It was undeniably strange after the show that night, with Holly, Natalie and Alyx missing. Holly had invited Alyx to join them at the last moment, and so the girls had taken the night off together. They had all grown quite used to having the women around all the time, and although they were not the only women working with the band, it quickly became clear that they were the most deeply involved.
They had just returned to the hotel after the show and were waiting for the elevator doors to close when they saw the women climbing out of a cab in front of the glass doors in the lobby. Larry reached out and stopped the doors in the last moment and hurried back out into the lobby to greet them.
“That was a long shopping trip.” He said, smiling playfully as he took several of the bags the women had been carrying. “Did you have a good night?” He asked the group of women suspiciously. It wasn’t hard to figure out that they’d been up to more than just shopping.
“Yes, we did, thankyouverymuch.” Holly slurred, surprising him with a fat kiss on the cheek. His expression of surprise set all three of them laughing and he shot a glance at Edge and Bono who had decided to give up on holding the elevator and investigate what was so funny.
“You’re pissed, aren’t you?” He asked, although it was a stupid question now that he looked them over and saw their relaxed faces and bloodshot eyes.
“Why would I be mad?” Holly asked, her eyebrows drawing together in confusion. Alyx laughed so hard she could hardly catch her breath enough to inform her young American friend that ‘pissed’ meant drunk.
“We went out for dinner and had a few drinks.” Natalie informed them, trying to sound aloof and dismissive and hide her embarrassment at having been caught in such a state. She had certainly not intended to drink as much as she had ended up drinking.
“I feel so left out.” Bono joked, opening his arms and receiving a compensatory hug from first Alyx and then Holly. He opened his arms to Natalie and she patted him on top of the head as she passed by on her way to the elevator.
“Hi.” Holly greeted Edge, smiling at him coyly and lowering her eyes flirtatiously. Alyx chuckled at the way his face flushed in response to the girls attentions, reaching for her bags and intending to follow Natalie. Larry held tight to the shopping bags, however, insisting on carrying them for the women.
“Should we hold the lift?” Bono asked, gesturing out into the lobby at Edge and Holly who stood close to each other as Holly whispered something in his ear.
“I think they’ve forgotten that we exist at all.” Alyx replied, pushing the button for the eleventh floor.
The women separated the bags according to whom they belonged with in the elevator and parted ways once they reached their floor. Larry insisted on helping Alyx to her room, although she assured him repeatedly that she was not so bad off that she’d get lost in the hallway. Bono volunteered to see Natalie to her room, but she refused his offer and so he wished his friends goodnight as they reached the door to his hotel room, leaving them alone.
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“I missed you tonight.” Edge told Holly gently, reaching up to take a lock of her blonde hair between his thumb and forefinger. He rolled it between his fingers absently as she wrapped her arms around his waist and closed the distance between them completely.
“Really?” She asked, smiling playfully and nuzzling her nose against his own. Edge nodded slightly, brushing his lips over hers softly and pulling back when she tried to kiss him. She cocked an eyebrow at him and smiled crookedly in response, one hand sliding down into the back pocket of his jeans. “I was thinking about you all night.” She whispered in his ear, catching the pierced lobe in her soft lips and sucking gently on it.
“Thinking what?” he asked, his heart pounding wildly and his palms starting to sweat. Although they had spent plenty of nights in the sweet pursuit of kissing and cuddling, they had not yet had an encounter which had turned into something deeper. The look she’d given him when she said hello had already been more erotic than anything they’d done before. Anticipation dried his throat and made his tongue swell, an instinctive reaction to the change of dynamics between them.
“Thinking that you were an incredible kisser, for one.” She replied, looking at him again the way she had when she greeted him a moment ago. She had never looked at him like that, but he had seen the look in her eyes before. He’d seen her look at Adam that way more than once, when they thought no one was paying them any attention. Suddenly, the excitement of the moment fled from him, leaving him no longer pleasantly aroused but sick to his stomach. He smiled weakly and took a step back, making her frown in disappointment.
“Edge?” She asked, reaching out to touch his cheek. He caught her hand in his own and held it. It felt less like a romantic gesture and more like a defensive one, to Holly. She let him lead her to the elevator and waited for the doors to close before she spoke again.
“What’s wrong? Did I do something wrong?” She asked, and he shook his head and murmured that she had not. He was retreating inside of his thoughts, trying to understand the unwanted reaction to her desire. She knew when he grew quiet like this that it would do no good to try and draw him out. He would be quiet and distracted no matter what she did, and so she simply sighed and leaned back against the wall of the elevator.
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Alyx unlocked the door to her room and led Larry in, hoping he didn’t notice the way she was shaking. She did her best to retain her inhibitions despite the alcohol trying to wash them away. She fought the urge to start rambling to him about everything he made her feel, asking him all the questions she’d wanted to ask since she first met him.
He put the bags on one of the beds and stood beside the open door, leaning his back against the frame. His hands were shoved deep into his pockets and his eyes were on his shoes, examining them as if they were a precious work of art. She felt her heart flutter at the image, the perfect picture of ‘cool’. She was sure it was at least partly a practiced pose. It was too reminiscent of the images of James Dean or Elvis Presley to be a totally natural thing for him. Still, he didn’t look as if he were trying at all.
“You can stay, if you’d like. I haven’t anything to drink to offer you, but if you want to watch TV or something…” She offered, her words trailing off as she tried to seem as cool and casual as she could. She didn’t want him to hear in her voice just how much she would like it if he did stay.
“Yeah, ok.” He agreed, his hair falling in his eyes as he nodded. He raked a hand through the light brown mop, his silver blue eyes meeting hers just long enough to make her heart skip. He closed the door and moved to sit in the chair in the far corner of the room as she turned on the TV. She slipped out of her coat and shoes and sat on the foot of the bed near him.
“Is that a tattoo?” She heard him ask, then before she could reply she felt his fingers on her skin. She let her eyes close as he traced the lines of the intricate design that peeked out from under the left side of her sleeveless shirt. “That is so cool, I want to get a tattoo so bad.” He told her, making her smile.
She loved the way Larry could go from being a quiet, brooding young man to seeming more like a boy. His enthusiasm always made him seem younger. This was the way he seemed to her when he talked about the motorcycle he planned to buy.
“Of what?” She asked, turning to face him as he removed his hand from her shoulder and sat back in his chair.
“I’m still deciding.” He replied, rubbing his nose nervously, his eyes shifting to the left. Alyx grinned at him.
“You’re not scared are you?” She teased, and he flashed her a scowl.
“I’m not scared. I just… don’t know about letting someone at me with a needle like that.” He informed her, his cheeks turning red. She covered her mouth with one hand to muffle her laughter, and he tried his best to look angry at her. He couldn’t maintain his scowl for long, however, a smile pressing against his cheeks until fighting it was impossible and he was grinning nearly as much as she was.
“It does hurt, though, right?” He asked.
“Well, yeah. It’s different for different people, I think. I mean, people tolerate pain differently. I didn’t think it was that bad, really. It just sort of stung and burned a little. But I heard a guy getting one done once and he was cursing and screaming with every breath.”
“You have more than one?” Larry asked, interest sparkling in his eyes like diamonds.
“I have two.” Alyx told him, stopping there and making him wait for more detail. Finally he asked what they were, and (perhaps of more importance) where they were. “This one, on my back, runs along the left side of my shoulder and down about halfway.” She informed him, touching the spot of skin which he had so recently touched himself.
“It’s a design of my own, it’s sort of a combination of a Celtic cross and an oak tree. It has roots and branches and leaves, but it is all intertwined into a cross.” She explained.
“Can I see it?” He asked, to which Alyx quickly replied,
“Are you asking me to take me shirt off, Larry Mullen?” Her words and smile brought a fresh blush to his cheeks and a rebelliously shy smile to his lips.
“Mebbe.” He replied smartly, making Alyx’s pulse jump. It was her turn to blush, apparently.
“Erm… heh… the, uh, other tattoo is in Ogham. A druidic rune.” She informed him, pausing to be certain he understood. “It’s ‘Luis’, which represents a Rowan tree. It’s for protection.”
“Protection from what?”
“Whatever a person needs to be protected from, I suppose.” She told him, turning away to look at the television. Their conversation was venturing too close to things she was not prepared to tell him just yet.
“You know a lot about that sort of thing, do you?” He asked, sensing her hesitation.
“What? The Druids?” She replied. “Not a lot. I went through a rebellious phase. The church called our ancestors Pagans and told us that we should not want to know much about them. I sought out information, learned to read some Ogham, got to know some of the beliefs. They weren’t nearly as wicked a bunch as the Catholic Church would have ye believe.” She informed him.
“Aw, go on now. You’re not tryin’ to tell me the Catholic Church has flaws, are you?” he laughed, making her chuckle, too.
“So.” He sighed, settling back into his seat comfortably. “Are you going to take your shirt off or not?” He asked, a devilish smile on his lips. Alyx pursed her lips and tossed a pillow at him.
“No, I don’t think I will.” She told him curtly, acting as if she were offended. “You weren’t very polite about asking, after all.”
“Normally I don’t have to ask.” He retorted. “Girls come up to me on the street and start lifting their shirts all the time.”
“Maybe you’d better go and find one of those girls then.” She told him, the amusement fading from her voice.
“Hey, I was just…” Larry started to explain, but Alyx waved a dismissive hand at him and so he let it drop.
A long moment of awkward silence passed before he rose from his seat. “There is something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about.” He told her seriously. “But I don’t think tonight’s a good time. Think we could have lunch together tomorrow?”
Alyx nodded mutely, her mind racing to figure out what he might be thinking. She distractedly wished him a good night as he stepped out of the room and closed the door between them. She had never had trouble reading a man’s interest in her, or lack thereof. At that moment, however, she had no clue what was going on in Larry’s mind.
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