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Old 02-03-2006, 03:10 PM   #1
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Need some prayers, yet again [sigh] :(

hi ......

Some either freakishly odd accident happened to my dad in the Nursing Home or worse and we don't know yet.

I went to visit my parents. My sis and i take turns- so they usually get seen by one of us each week. I'm on the phone to my mom 2-3 mtimes aweek. They are on different floors/buildings b/c dad was always worse off physically than our Mom.

They were both both mentally acute, until my dad had a serious stroke...he retains certain cognitive functions ...but ever since his Short Term Memory Loss now usually down to a 2 min - 1/2 min cycle of forgetting/starting over.....those functions aronly there in that brief window and get screwed up because of the STML.

My dad has also been blind in one eye the past ? 30 yrs.
Anyway I walk into his room this past weds night.....and he has a "classic"[as think of comicstrips] black eye. around his Good Eye.

I clamp down any reaction. I ak if he remebers how he got it ....no. Can he see....yes {thank the Powers!}. Is he in any different /extra pain....no {thank goodness}.

After i'm done visiting i go to see the people at the front desk.
so far.they've filed a report....ongoing... b/c no one knows what happened. They are collecting statements from everyone. It happened on the 28th jan.

They tell me they left a message on my sis's machine. It's way late wehn i get home . I e-m my sis later the next day {yesterday-thurs]

-------------- didn't want to get bounced out..con';t

so she called me last night.

SHe DIDN"T get any message. turned out they left it on HER Emergency contact # {one of herf friends}. she found that out last night.

SHe was kinda mad that I didn';t call her yesterday....morning or that night. I got in at 1AM.......didn't want to wake her. But there was somet5hing elese holding me back..............now as we discussed it/
one I was under some extra double stress because of 2 things in my living/hiome situation that were coming up today. SO this on top of it.

Our dad can't up on his own and he can't stand ,, {unhealed broken leg re osteoperosis] ...he can wheel himself arounbd in a chair ....bur he has no reall occasion to fall...And has guard rails on bed to hold him in


SO is it a freak accident {i hope} or was there some kind of abuse? by another patient {it happens-- but i''ve only read aboput it in apers} or...worse staff.....

This place IS concerned one of the best in the whole USA ...........i think i jusr closed my self off to THAT possiblity sterday and the night before...................


who want sot thiubnk about THAT!

so P{lease think/pray that it turned OUT to be an freak accident. and not abuse..........

thanks.. s in advance.

have to get out of where i am..sorry for missed typos...
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Old 02-03-2006, 03:26 PM   #2
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Dazzled. I hope you get the truth on this and turns out to be an innocent accident. It's so hard trying to get on with your own life when you feel guilt that you may be placing your invalid parents in harm's way - my prayers for you and your family.
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Old 02-03-2006, 04:42 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally posted by BluRmGrl
Dazzled. I hope you get the truth on this and turns out to be an innocent accident. It's so hard trying to get on with your own life when you feel guilt that you may be placing your invalid parents in harm's way - my prayers for you and your family.


they've been there about 5 yrs aND THO have been some mild problems here and there, less moderate/medium one3s. But Nothing like this level of possble problem......so we haven't felt too many pangs of guilt.......thankgoodness........
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Old 02-03-2006, 05:13 PM   #4
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is there any way to check with the state or some type of board to see if there were any complaints about the place they are at?

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Old 02-03-2006, 05:25 PM   #5
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Sometimes when people get older and do not have much mobility they tend to bruise just by hitting up against something...I hope for you thats all it is...
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Old 02-03-2006, 07:36 PM   #6
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My grandma is in a nursing home and has been involved in problems with abuse... unfortunately, she's the abuser. Every now and then they call my aunt her punching out another patient for some reason, real or imagined.

The moral of that story is, I hope it was just an accident, but in my experience abuse from other patients is much more common than from one of the employees.
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Old 02-03-2006, 08:25 PM   #7
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My great aunt was both an abuser, and the abused. She was in her 90's and in a wheelchair, but very fiesty and mean when she felt like it. She'd punch, push and verbally abuse both the staff and other patients. She started this when her stuff started getting stolen and she blamed everyone around her. One day she was found at the bottom of the stairs. The staff said she pushed herself down there in the wheelchair, but the family always thought she was pushed by one of the other patients she was mean to. We don't know, because of her injuries she was never able to speak or write again. She lived to be 103, but her last years were spent a twisted cripple who could only eat baby food and grunt. The entire place smelled like human feces. It was all very sad.
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Old 02-03-2006, 08:28 PM   #8
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I'm sorry, Dazz. I'm praying for your dad, and your family.
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Old 02-04-2006, 03:15 PM   #9
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Awwww, I'm sure there's no physical abuse going on. Some people tend to bruise quite easily, so he could have just tripped up and hit his head on something (sorry, I'm no good at scenarios).

Just think, it could be worse; a good friend of my parents lost her husband at the beginning of January to a brain tumour. His funeral was only the week before last, and now, she's just found out that one of her sons has a serious case of meningitis. He's being treated in hospital now, but it doesn't help that the whole family has a phobia of hospitals.
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Old 02-04-2006, 06:32 PM   #10
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I'm sorry, I know what a worry it is when parents are being cared for by strangers. I hope you get to the bottom of this.
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Old 02-04-2006, 06:43 PM   #11
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Old 02-04-2006, 06:54 PM   #12
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I'm so sorry, dazzled. I just hope it was a freak accident and not abuse, but abuse happens. Just the possibility is really scary.
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Old 02-04-2006, 08:35 PM   #13
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thank you all for your comments........ s


Coster & TUN ...... I don't think my dad bruises that easily because I haven't seen bruises on him there at the home. His arms are almos always uncovered, nother on face or hands either.
The only exception would be after he'd come home from the hospital and had a certain amount of intravenous stuff done.... and I saw that bruising in the hopital already before he returned. You know sometimes it's almost nothing, sometimes more.

That must be hard to hear about,Kriste.

R&RK -- what a sad story from both sides..... horrible to hear that she did that , sorry, too, to hear about the possible revenge.........
I can relate more than you'd know.

My dad got changed -meanner and naster after his 2nd & 3rd Severe Depression. The first one........our mom said he had changed....but being 18 & 14 we kids ...i know I didn't have enough psycho-social intuition/knowledge to really tell the difference- but the next two............oh yeah.
His meaness/verbal and almost physical abuse,'my way or the highway" attitudes slowly drove many people half-way to all the way away from him. We were like half away.

Then AFTER his stroke......all the Meaness drained away.... He'd only get angry/agitated when he thot people didn't understand him [he had to retrain to be able to speak], he's done pretty well with it. ANd yeah, evry thing except soft bread and like chocolate has to be pureed for him.

He's mostly is on the quiet and sweet side, now.

and myself yesterday.....a little part of me said ...well thatt's comeuppence for all the terrible things he did. Glad it's only a little part of me.

...unfortunatley alot of his other stuff {like the memory] went too. But not all.
He's gotten more hugs and kisses from me & my sis in these past 3 years than in the PAST 15- 20 yrs!
ANd FORTUNALTELY the place DOSEN't smell all over like thatat all.....on occasion a room you are passing by....someone hasn't been taken care of yet.

Lila --
We'll probably do that IFwe DON'T get a Satifactory answer.....but if you happen to catch these later posts ...you can see the patient abuse is also a possiblity.


BTW your HAWAII SMILEY'S.

THANKS AGAIN, ALL.Thanks again, all of you.
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Old 02-05-2006, 01:29 AM   #14
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and just for you for laughs

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Old 02-05-2006, 10:34 AM   #15
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Dazz, I hope you find out what really happened
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Old 02-05-2006, 10:42 AM   #16
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Dazz I hope it was just an accident.
When my g-ma was in the nursing home at 100yrs old, she still had a strong grip.
When the attendants would try to move her from the wheelchair to the shower chair, she would hold on so tight to the arms of her chair that they left bruises on her wrists from trying to get her to let go.
Sometimes she would let go and they would not catch her. She would fall and get some bruises.
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Old 02-05-2006, 11:57 PM   #17
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Dazzled, big prayers are going your way. Hope all will be ok.
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Old 02-06-2006, 03:07 PM   #18
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thanks

i just checked my e-m and
my sis says she got some answers as to probably what happened....{she doesn.t 'appear" by her wording to be REALLY upset..hopefully}....I'll talk to her tonight.

& let you know.......
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