Need PLEBAns opinion

[U2SavesTheWorld]

Hey guys...

I have a question for you, give me your honest opinion.....I'll try to be brief (ha ha ha)....

OK, so my dad died in August unexpectedly so now its just my mom and I. We were planning on spending the month of March and part of April in Madrid (the three of us). Obviously, we aren't going anymore.

I was thinking of surprising my mom at Christmas with a Florida vacation for the two of us....airfare, hotel, etc to Sanibel Island.

Now, I have two jobs and the only possible time I can go is in March.

a) do you think it will seem too much like replacement vacation and therefore be a bit sad or

b) think that the whole thing might be a bit depressing because its just the two of us or

c) do you think its a good idea and I'm just being overly cautious and I should just shut up and buy the tickets??

Before you answer, I'm not looking for anyone to feel sorry for me here...that is not the point of the question. I'm looking for some objective thoughts on the situation.

Any thoughts you have will be appreciated!

Thanks guys!
MK

 

[Mrs.Clayton]

How sad....I'm so sorry.

When you mention the trip(to Spain)to your mom(i.e. cancelling it), what does she say? For instance...if she says "oh, I can never go on another vacation again" well there you go, she's not ready. But if she says "It's a shame we can't go" (or something like that), you know that she might be open to the idea.
I think it's a great idea...but it's only been a few months, it might be too soon. How do you feel? Would it be therapeutic(I couldn't think of the right word)for you to go away with your mom somewhere?
What if you asked her about it? I know that ruins the surprise, but then you'd know how she felt.
If she doesn't want to go, you could always go away for the weekend, that would be fun too.

Again, I'm so sorry for your loss....
to you and your mom.

Mrs.Clayton

 

[martha]

c)

Go for it. You both probably need a break. Some sunshine and relaxation will be good for you. Your mom will need it, and she'll be glad to not have to worry about the details.



(I'm sorry about your dad.)

 

[hippy]

I was thinking of surprising my mom at Christmas with a Florida vacation for the two of us....airfare, hotel, etc to Sanibel Island.

That's where I live!!!!

Now, I have two jobs and the only possible time I can go is in March.

a) do you think it will seem too much like replacement vacation and therefore be a bit sad or

b) think that the whole thing might be a bit depressing because its just the two of us or

c) do you think its a good idea and I'm just being overly cautious and I should just shut up and buy the tickets??

My personal opinion is that you should go... vacations are always a good time. I don't think it'll seem like a replacement. It will be more like a celebration of you and your mother. Maybe it'll be a time to reflect...

And Sanibel's a beautiful place... do you know where you'd be staying?

 

[U2SavesTheWorld]

Yay! Some responses!

OK....I cancelled the trip to Madrid right after my dad died so thats already taken care of....I know that she is sad that we can't go but we both talked about it and definitely knew that was the right decision. At the time, we talked a lot about the two of us going somewhere anyway but it hasn't really come up since.

My parents used to vacation 4 or 5 times a year....at least two of those trips being international. So, I'm definitely avoiding going anywhere they spent time together.....which, as you can imagine, is easier said than done!

I was thinking that a few days on a beach with nothing to do but...well, NOTHING....would be great for both of us.

I just hope its the right thing to do and it won't be too close to home, you know?

Oh, I was thinking of the Sanibel Harbour Resort.
I'm also looking at other destinations (probably in Florida) but Sanibel is such a great place...I can't believe you live there Hippy!
VERY JEALOUS!

You guys are great....thanks for the advice!

 

[adamswildhoney]

I think it would be a good idea for you to go bc it would allow you and your mom to reconnect and work on your guys relationship!!!

 

[senrab]

Sorry.

I am so sorry about your dad. My father died in August too. Take good care of your mother.

 

[hippy]

Oh, I was thinking of the Sanibel Harbour Resort.
I'm also looking at other destinations (probably in Florida) but Sanibel is such a great place...I can't believe you live there Hippy!
VERY JEALOUS!

I Sanibel Harbor Resort... there's a REALLY REALLY nice spa there! I would definitely recommend Sanibel

 

[Kristie]

I Sanibel Harbor Resort... there's a REALLY REALLY nice spa there! I would definitely recommend Sanibel

wait, is that where we went?

 

[hippy]

wait, is that where we went?

nope, we went the opposite direction... we went to Vanderbilt beach

Also a nice place to go...

 

[Kristie]

nope, we went the opposite direction... we went to Vanderbilt beach

Also a nice place to go...

are you sure?
where we drove over the bridge onto this wacked out island with no street lights and I illegally collected mussel shells and some egg case thing in the dark and you took a picture and there was a lighthouse and some camp house thing you stayed at with a ghetto car they made you drive?
that wasn't sanibel?

 

[hippy]

are you sure?
where we drove over the bridge onto this wacked out island with no street lights and I illegally collected mussel shells and some egg case thing in the dark and you took a picture and there was a lighthouse and some camp house thing you stayed at with a ghetto car they made you drive?
that wasn't sanibel?

oh yeah, that WAS Sanibel... I was thinking of the time we actually went to the beach...

 

[Kristie]

oh yeah, that WAS Sanibel... I was thinking of the time we actually went to the beach...

oooo
yeah take yer mum to sanibel
but yeeah I'd ask her about it first

 

[Desire4Bono]

My dad died a few weeks before we were supposed to go to Montana. It's true that thinking about going after without him was very sad, and I did feel guilty even though I knew he'd want me to go. It was a year later that I finally went, and I admit thinking about him not being there with me did drag the fun factor down, and I only stayed 2 days. I wrote a poem about it called 'If I get there without you.' But since you aren't going to the same place you'd planned to go with him, I see no problem at all. Please go and have a good time.