Originally posted by WildHonee:
This was on enjoyu2.com:
Top ten U2 action figures
10. Muscle-Bono with lifelike muscle tattoos and super swingin' mic stand!
9. Ultra-Edge with guitar rocket launcher and boomerang cowboy hat!
8. Spoon-Master Adam with Springfield spoon that transforms into nun-chucks!
7. Power-Blast Larry with missile launching drum set!
6. Mofo-Bono with quick double punch action!
5. Grunge-Edge with goatee and attack rings bearing the Achtung Baby U2 logo!
4. NewZooland Adam with real hangover sour face!
3. Excess-Larry with swiveling mic stand and laser drum sticks!
2. Fly vs MacPhisto Two-Pack! Let the REAL Bono win this epic battle for meglomania!
1. U2 POPMARTIANS - The band in encore POPMART outfits in flying Lemon Ball spaceship, with real sounds and lights from the tour!
*Bluey walks up to the toy dept. counter with a fist full of bills*
Bluey: Hello, I'd like to order a number two. Can those be "super-sized"? They can? How about "life-sized"? And animated???
*Does the Mr. Burns finger thing* Eeeexcellent. Yes, they need to be given a good home, and I have a large backyard...they can run around all day. I'm just going to let them roam free...within the confines of the barbed wire fence of course.
*Bluey hands over a fistfull of hundred dollar bills and the stock boy comes out with two large moving boxes on a trolley. Bluey smiles and does a happy dance* Yes, I would like some help loading them into my car. There are air holes punched into the top, right? Fabulous.
From Box1: Hello? Hello? Can I get a martini in here?
Bluey: Hmmm, my car is too small for both of these boxes...One of them has to ride on the roof.
From Box2: Him!...the other guy. Yeah baby, I'm too pretty to get all windblown and shit.
From Box1: When I escape from this flimsy cardboard box, you are going to recieve the beating of your life young man!
From Box2:
*Cigarette smoke pours out of the air holes* Uh, huh, promises, promises... You come after me again and I'm gonna tell everyone how old you really are.
From Box1: You wouldn't dare! Besides, you'd have to take your shoes off to count that high and the boxes are too narrow for that.
*Lit matches are thrown out of the air holes of The Fly's box at the box containing Macphisto. The Fly snickers*
From Box1: Are you trying to set me on fire again? STOP THAT! This is a
very expensive suit.
From Box2: Heh, heh, heh...oh crap. I'm out of matches...how am I going to light my smokes? Hey LADY!!! Let me out!!!
Bluey: Not until we get home.
From Box1: Do you have a well stocked bar?
Bluey: Yes...and lots of mirrors.
From Box1: Excellent...take me away.
From Box2:
*Awkwardly eyeing Bluey through the airholes* Hey baby...let's dump the geezer somewhere and go get a drink, or a hotel room...this box ain't big enough for some things if you know what I mean heh,heh.
*There is a loud sigh from box 1 and The Fly shoves a little paper slip out of the top of box2* Look baby! It's my warranty, if you break me, you get me again for free!!! We can try to break me if you want... Good deal huh?
From Box1:
*Bitterly* What if you die in a freak chainsaw accident? Is that covered by your precious warranty?
From Box2: Baby...are you sure you ordered two rockstars? Because I think you got me and a "Grumpy Old Men" action figure.
From Box1: Shut. Up.
Bluey:
*To a sales clerk* Do you have any earplugs? I'll take a box. Thanks.
*She wheels the bickering boxes out of the store and to her car, deaf and happy*
