Here are some quotes concerning the spiritual crisis the band faced during the recording of October:
Larry: "The recording was hard graft. We also had a problem with the Christian meetings hanging over our heads. Some in the Christian meeting felt we should give up the band and go and do something more spiritually edifying. Edge in particular was questioning everything. I felt that the meetings were starting to get scary, people were becoming really radical. Myself and my father had come to blows over the whole thing. He had studied theology and thought that we were simplifying something that was complex. We would go at it for hours. So we just stopped talking about it. Shalom continued to get more and more intense, there were frequent prayer meetings and considerable pressure to attend every one. It was as if your were awarded stripes for being there, and if you didn't show up, somebody was asking why. It was starting to feel all wrong."
Edge: "It was a little bit of a difficult time as we tried to reconcile completely contrasting imperatives. On one level to try and be as true on a spiritual front as we could be, and then on the other level to be in the best rock 'n' roll band we could ever be in. So there was an element of uncertainty going forward."
Larry: "The idea was to create a Christian community, where people would live and work under strict standards. When you're young and impressionable it all sounds ideal. But there was something terribly wrong with the concept. It was a bit like the bigger the commitment you made, the closer you were to heaven. It was a really screwed-up view of the world and nothing to do with what I now understand a Christian faith to be. There was huge pressure to follow that path and what made it even stranger was that rather than it coming from the church leaders, it was coming from our friends. I learned a lot though and I also gained a faith I didn't have before, and that's still with me."
Bono: "Edge left the band. But he didn't tell the band, he just told me, and I wasn't interested in being in the band if he wasn't. He was saying: 'This is great, what we're doing, but there is another world out there and that's what I want to be part of. And the real cure to the world's ills does not lie in a post-punk band but in developing yourself spiritually and finding your place and finding God's purpose for your life.' He was feeling at this point in time that he couldn't serve both God and man. I decided I couldn't either, so we both quit."
Edge: "It was a very, very clear fork in the road really. I wanted to take stock, to find out if what we were doing was in fact going down the wrong road. We were listening to all this negativity from people who were supposed to be our friends, telling us we can't continue in this band, it's not right. I said to Bono, 'Look, I'm quite happy to give this up if it's not the right thing for us but I need to find out. Are these people a little nuts or do they have an insight that I've been missing?' Bono understood my position and thought this was the right way to deal with it, hit it head on. He wasn't interested himself in going ahead if it wasn't the right thing. So I took a bit of time to get it straight in my own head who was to be trusted. I thought that the answer would become very clear, and it did."
Larry: "Edge left the band, I left the meetings."
Bono: "Giving up the band was very hard to do, because we both loved what we were doing. But something very powerful happened there. Sometimes you have to let go of what you love to really have it. Without being too melodramatic, it's like Abraham waits all his life for a son, and then God tells him to go down and sacrifice Isaac. It's one of the wildest episodes in the scriptures. But it seemed that when we got it back it was going to be even more powerful. The sort of spiritual ideas that were going around at that time were very profound but very heavy. Christ saying: 'He that loves his life shall lose it.' I mean, this is pretty extreme. This suggests that if you really want to live, you can't hold on to your life too tightly. You have to let go, you have to surrender. I'm not sure I understood that back then but, in my zealotry, I didn't want there to be anything in my life that came between me and God, including music. Because, of course, you can make anything an idol: it doesn't have to be money or it doesn't have to be fame - anything can get in the way. Smugness, for instance. Years later, I had a better understanding. You can hold on to something so tight it's like you've already lost it. And that's one of those deep spiritual insights that took me a long time to discover. It makes you very weak to want something so badly. When you let it go you're much more powerful. And something happened around that time, where we let go of the thing we'd wanted all our lives, the thing that had given me a way to face the world again, that made sense of me. That album, in a way, was where U2 said: 'We will go wherever we have to go. We will break all the rules of hipness. We will be as raw emotionally as we have to be, in order to be honest. Even after that, we were giving up the band. It was really pushing it as far as we could to prove that we couldn't be bought off by ambition. And I think it's an amazing thing, we nearly succeeded in derailing the band, but at the same time we regained it more fully."
Edge: "I felt very clearly that this band had something unique and special, and it was completely bogus to suggest that you couldn't have a legitimate spiritaul life AND be in the rock 'n' roll business. That was a dangerous piece of nonsense. That's not to say that the people involved in Shalom were in any way bad people, it's just that, in a group dynamic, ideas sometimes gain credibility when they really shouldn't. It was a necessary thing to get through.
It was the beginning of our extricating ourselves from that system of peer support. I'm sure it was a big relief to Adam when we started to drift away from that very close-knit group and trust our own counsel."
[They began to distance themselves from the Shalom community, but their own U2 community became increasingly more intimate]:
Edge: "We rented a little place on the beach in Howth, on the north side of Dublin. As soon as we got off the road [after the October tour] we started going there and working up ideas. The band were basically sponsoring a little house for Bono and Ali that we could also use as rehearsal space. No one minded, because they were skint and, like the rest of us, either living at home or in some dodgy flat."
Bono: "It was an old mews house; it might once have been a stable. It had three rooms, the band took the living-room, myself and Ali took the bedroom and we all shared the kitchen. It was an idyllic spot with the waves crashing on the walls of the house. I remember it as a really great time, songwriting and just being in a band."
Adam: "What must it have been like for Ali to have us in there? Amazing that she put up with us."
Bono: "In the interests of decorum, I would like to point out that Ali and I did not move in until we were legally wed. You know, I'm a bit of a stray dog. I would not have been in the queue to get married had I not met someone as extraordinary as Ali. I always felt more myself with her than with anybody. I met a beautiful couple on that tour and I was talking to them about the love of my life, and they were saying, 'Are you going to get married?' I said 'Well gosh, I never thought about that.' And they told me, 'If you've got that sort of thing, you should never let it go.' And I took their advice.
Adam was my best man. For all the crackle and pop of his lifestyle, Adam always had a kind of wisdom. He was the perfect gentleman, who believed in love, but at the time he seemed to believe in love with a lot of people. But I'd been having conversations with him about it and he always seemed to suggest that if you can find everything in one person, then you should seize the day. I also asked him because maybe I didn't feel as close with him as I did with the others."
Adam: "I thought it was an incredibly brave thing to do. At that point there wasn't really much money around and we were going to be away often, so I didn't really know how he was going to pull it together. But I'd known Alison for as long as I'd known Bono. It's been a very beneficial union. I think Bono without Ali would unleash an energy upon the world that might have as much negative effect as it has positive."
Whew! That's it for now!