Look At This 'U2 SNL Sketch' I Found!

[Gina Marie]

Well, it's not a real one-it's from a site where people write their own SNL sketches.

This is 'U2-Behind The Scenes At The MTV Awards'.

A stage with various amps, guitars, etc. on it. Larry Mullen and Bono are chatting in the background. Adam Clayton and the Edge are tuning their guitars in the centre of the scene. A Technician enters)

MTV Technician: Okay guys, let's get everything set up.

The Edge: Okay.

MTV Technician: Whoa whoa whoa, what are those things?

Adam Clayton: Ehm, guitars.

MTV Technician: What are they?

The Edge: Uh, instruments. I play the lead guitar, and Adam plays the bass.

MTV Technician: Oh, so you're not really IN the band, then. You're just in the backing band.

The Edge: No, we're both members of U2.

MTV Technician: You mean you guys are actually artists that play their own instruments? Far out. What'll you foreigners think of next?

The Edge: Good lord...

(Edge and Adam stroll off, tuning their guitars. Bono and Larry walk over to the technician)

Bono: Say, where will my microphone be?

MTV Technician: Right here, Boh-noh.

Bono: Uh, it's actually pronounced 'Bonno.'

MTV Technician: Sure sure, whatever. Anyway, here's the mic.

Bono: This is a headset mic.

MTV Technician: Uh, yes it is. Is there a problem with it?

Bono: I'm not really a headset mic kind of guy. Headset mics aren't punk rock things to do; when we were back in the clubs watching the Ramones, Television, and the Clash, I don't remember them ever wearing headset mics...

Larry Mullen: BONO!

Bono: Huh?

Larry Mullen: You were saying something about the microphone?

Bono: Oh, right. Sorry. Like I was saying, I'd prefer a standing mic.

MTV Technician: It'll be easier with the headset, trust me. You guys are playing the Tomb Raider song, right?

Larry Mullen: Er, yeah....

MTV Technician: Then you'll be jumping around, just like that Lara Croft chick in the video. Trust me: headset mics look more professional. They free up your arms for the dance number and make it look like you're really singing up there!

Larry Mullen: Now just a second here, U2 doesn't lip-sync. Bono can sing on his own.

Bono: That's right. I don't recall Joey Ramone ever lip-syncing. Punk rock is about stripping things down, not...wait a minute, what was that about a dance number? (Bono gets a faraway look in his eye)

Larry Mullen: Don't give him any ideas!

(Larry leads Bono away. The show director walks onto the stage)

MTV Technician: We might have some trouble here, sir. Apparently this band plays their own instruments and the singer wants to sing the song live. These UB4 guys sure are weird.

Director: They're not so different from the boy bands and the rappers. Why, I saw the fellow in the glasses rolling a joint with Snoop Dogg in the back. I'll bet the band was just joking around.

MTV Technician: Yeah, I guess you're right. I'll just plug the feed into the...say, which ones are the speakers and which ones are the amps?

Director: Don't ask me. I won this job in a contest at mtv.com. WHOO! PAPA ROACH! YEAH!

(Director and Technician exit)

 

[madonna's child]

lmao! that's hilarious, gina. now we know what really happened!

------------------
Happy Hannukah!

"Revolution starts at home, in your heart, in your refusal to compromise your beliefs and your values." - Bono

"And I wear gray underwear." -Bono

Love,
Emily

Visit my webpage for U2 wallpapers:
www.geocities.com/springtime5348/index.html

You hurt yourself, you hurt your lover, then you discover what you thought was freedom is just greed...

 

[sulawesigirl4]

lmao! That's great! hehe..

Imagine...a band that plays their own instruments.

Thanks for sharin'

 

[Gina Marie]

Here's another one-Bono On TRL


Carson Daly: Alright, America. Welcome back to TRL. As always, I?m your host, Carson Daly, and I am God. Okay, we have an amazing show for you today because we have a great guest for you today, and it?s just gonna be a dope show. Alright, here with us is the lead singer of the legendary rock band U2, and the man who alone keeps the Sunglass Hut in business. Come on out, Bono!

(Bono stumbles out into the studio, obviously drunk.)

Bono: (Irish accent, but his speech is slurred) Hello there, Carson. How are ya doing?

Carson Daly: Pretty good, pretty good. Let me just say that your latest album is fly. (Stares into the camera for a moment). How are you able to make such classic albums after so many years?

Bono: Well, it?s really simple Carson, because as a band, we always try to have fun with our music and our lives in the business. Back in the day, it was about getting drunk, partying.... and getting drunk, and it still is, so it?s all about a good time. And I think that really comes across in our music and performances. Do you have fun?

Carson Daly: No, actually I don?t. (nervously) My mom....doesn?t allow me to drink.

Bono: Well, that?s too bad.

Carson Daly: Yeah, let?s get back to you, Bono. What are the plans for the band when your tour ends?

Bono: Well, we were thinking of- (notices the camera) Well, hello. (Walks over to camera and puts his face in front of it.) How are you? I?m doing pretty good. (Begins to play with the camera and kiss it) Yeah!

Carson Daly: Bono, tell me, how are your other bandmates, the Edge, Larry, and Adam, doing?

Bono: (Stops) Who? Oh, them. Yeah, they?re...they?re fine. (Returns to the camera.)

Carson Daly: Now, Bono, you?re also known for your activism in many movements and dealing with many problems afflicting the world. What inspired you to become involved?

Bono: Because it?s good to express your opinion and be outraged and want to do something about things. And let me tell you this: I will not rest until every person in the world has at least one pair of sunglasses! Forget poverty, forget violence. Who cares when you have some pretty nice shades? (Continues to play with the camera)

Carson Daly: Alright, I?m getting a, little scared now. Can we take a caller? Okay, on line one is Natalie form Connecticut. Hey Natalie!

Natalie: (Giddy voice) Oh, my God, I cannot believe I am talking to Carson Daly. You are the best and I love you, and you are so hot, and... Mom, I?m talking to Carson Daly. You are the greatest!

Carson Daly: I know. Tell me, how old are you?

Natalie: I?m sixteen.

Carson Daly: (Disappointed) Oh.

Bono: You could get any your age, could ya, you perv!

Carson Daly: (frustrated) Natalie, do you wanna say hi to Bono?

Natalie: Hey, Bono.

Bono: Hey, Natalie. I can tell you like Carson and this whole TRL thing. Me, I think it?s crap. Remember the days when MTV used to play music videos? Now all they got is this "Jackass" and "Real World" and "Cribs". Hell, the only music video they even show anymore is the damn "Lady Marmalade". I mean it?s good, but you can only handle so much cootchie after a while! And these new VJ?s suck. Look at this geek up here, Carson Daly. He?s asking all these questions thinking he?s smart, but nobody cares! Hey, how much do you wanna bet that Carson is a virgin? Can?t we do some kind of online poll or something?

Carson Daly: (worried) Bono, what are you doing?

Bono: Everyone at home, log on mtv.com right now and cast your vote in the poll: "Do you think Carson Daly is a virgin?" And while we?re waiting, Natalie, do you have any shoutouts?

Natalie: Yeah, I wanna say hi to Kristen, Kelly, Anna, Mark, Brad, Brit, Sully, Ryan, Nick, Jackie, Missy, Erin, A.J., Matt, and everyone at Williams High, and I love N Sync and Justin Timberlake! Whoo!

Bono: Alright, and the results are in: in our online poll, 92% of the voters think that Carson Daly is a virgin! That?s gotta hurt!

Carson Daly: Well, it looks like we?re almost out of time, Bono. Is there anything else you want to say before you go?

Bono: Yeah (points to camera) Can I take this thing home with me, or can it follow me around or something?

Carson Daly: Sorry, but we need that for the show. Well, Bono, I hope we can have you back in the TRL studio again sometime.

Bono: Listen to me, Carson, I don?t think so, because tomorrow morning, I won?t even remember being here the first time, okay? Sorry, man. (Walks off the set)

Carson Daly: Bono, everybody, the one and only. I?m Carson Daly. I?m 29, looking for a female between the ages of 20 and 32. I enjoy dinner and a movie, watching the sunset, long conversations, poetry, and I'm good in the kitchen. If interested, please call me. Tomorrow, we?ll have Johnny Rotten in the studio, making me pee my pants and cry like a little girl. Later, dudes!

 

[Party Girl_75]

LMAO...these are too funny... I love the TRL script...

Thanks for posting these!

 

[WildHonee]

lol

------------------
~*Mona*~ 97% compatible with Bono
Love me, give me soul.

A little less circuitry,
a little more poetry.

"For the good of the nation, you must defile Bono!" ~Echo~

The Latin Americans have the sexy end[of Catholicism]~BonoBaby~

7:00pm Bono plays Tetris on Powerbook instead of writing lyrics.

 

[SamanthaPuff]

Originally posted by WildHonee:
lol

You read my mind that's precisely the response I was about to type, face and all. Now Mona, you the playwrite, let's see you write an SNL skit for the boys! Feel free to include yourself, or me too!



------------------
~Just as you find me, always I will be, a little bit too free, with myself~

 

[WildHonee]

Originally posted by SamanthaPuff:
You read my mind that's precisely the response I was about to type, face and all. Now Mona, you the playwrite, let's see you write an SNL skit for the boys! Feel free to include yourself, or me too!

!!!

Geez I already wrote a TRL one, didn't I?

lol but aren't ALL of my scripts really suitable for SNL? Come on.

------------------
~*Mona*~ 97% compatible with Bono
Love me, give me soul.

A little less circuitry,
a little more poetry.

"For the good of the nation, you must defile Bono!" ~Echo~

The Latin Americans have the sexy end[of Catholicism]~BonoBaby~

7:00pm Bono plays Tetris on Powerbook instead of writing lyrics.

 

[SamanthaPuff]

You're right, they should devote an entire episode to you and U2 and the rest of us could act in them too!

------------------
~Just as you find me, always I will be, a little bit too free, with myself~

 

[WildHonee]

Originally posted by SamanthaPuff:
You're right, they should devote an entire episode to you and U2 and the rest of us could act in them too!

!!!!!!!! FUN!!!!!!!!!!

------------------
~*Mona*~ 97% compatible with Bono
Love me, give me soul.

A little less circuitry,
a little more poetry.

"For the good of the nation, you must defile Bono!" ~Echo~

The Latin Americans have the sexy end[of Catholicism]~BonoBaby~

7:00pm Bono plays Tetris on Powerbook instead of writing lyrics.

 

[FallDownJulie]

SNL did do a sketch about the boys a few years ago. did anyone else see it? it was a long time ago, but they were playing a benefit concert and i don't really remember the other bands they had there. jewel maybe? anyhow it was one of those "aids", i think it was called "band-aid". chris kattan played bono and it was SO funny. i swear he was trying to seduce the floor. i hope they replay it sometime soon!

------------------
~Julie*

(aka: hoo~lee~ah, aka: Fishy's Clumsey Julie, aka: MoonPhisto)

"Don't follow your dreams.... run with them"

 

[WildHonee]

Originally posted by FallDownJulie:
SNL did do a sketch about the boys a few years ago. did anyone else see it? it was a long time ago, but they were playing a benefit concert and i don't really remember the other bands they had there. jewel maybe? anyhow it was one of those "aids", i think it was called "band-aid". chris kattan played bono and it was SO funny. i swear he was trying to seduce the floor. i hope they replay it sometime soon!

*knits a floor costume*


------------------
~*Mona*~ 97% compatible with Bono
Love me, give me soul.

A little less circuitry,
a little more poetry.

"For the good of the nation, you must defile Bono!" ~Echo~

The Latin Americans have the sexy end[of Catholicism]~BonoBaby~

7:00pm Bono plays Tetris on Powerbook instead of writing lyrics.

 

[madonna's child]

ben stiller does a really funny bono impression.

------------------
Happy Hannukah!

"Revolution starts at home, in your heart, in your refusal to compromise your beliefs and your values." - Bono

"And I wear gray underwear." -Bono

Love,
Emily

Visit my webpage for U2 wallpapers:
www.geocities.com/springtime5348/index.html

You hurt yourself, you hurt your lover, then you discover what you thought was freedom is just greed...

 

[DML]

I do remember once Adam Sandler did Bono (whoops that's bit dirty) with some St. Patrick's Day song.

------------------
Dana

"I simulate love making by beating a piece of wood with a metal wire on which it vibrates."
-Adam, when asked, 'If a martian landed and was introduced to you and asked what you do, what would you say?'

IM me: ghettopoptart83

 

[hippy]

Originally posted by WildHonee:
*knits a floor costume*

ROFLMAO!!!! I want a costume too!

------------------
One love, one life...
Give peace a chance!
Don't let the bastards grind you down!

Bono: I don't walk, I swagger! I sashayed once, but just once. It wasn't for me.

 

[JessicaAnn]

MTV Technician: Then you'll be jumping around, just like that Lara Croft chick in the video. Trust me: headset mics look more professional. They free up your arms for the dance number and make it look like you're really singing up there!

Larry Mullen: Now just a second here, U2 doesn't lip-sync. Bono can sing on his own.

Bono: That's right. I don't recall Joey Ramone ever lip-syncing. Punk rock is about stripping things down, not...wait a minute, what was that about a dance number? (Bono gets a faraway look in his eye)

Larry Mullen: Don't give him any ideas!

Can you imagine them doing a N'Sync style dance? Bwahahahah!

And I love the TRL thing ... i was laughing out loud through the entire script,

------------------
Jessica

"I turn slightly and catch Bono with half a Perrier bottle in his mouth. He's sucking the thing in such a manner it would put Madonna to shame!"

"I'm very secure with the fact that I'm not black. I'm white, pink and rosy. But I've got soul."
--Bono

?We make music you can have sex to.?
--Bono

"Girls boys listen me kiss love fun drink sick kiss cuddle sex swim sea rock and rub." (from the gates of Bono's house)