Antonia was a little perturbed by how much the thought of not having Bono around affected her, and how it send her heart sinking like a stone to the pit of her stomach. She had become used to his company this last month or so, her Seamus and Bono, they had some good days together, but the old adage all good things come to an end was starting to dawn on her.
It made her begin to realise that her own time in Donegal would not be forever.. she would have to return to London and face her father and Gareth.. Her father had phoned her once breifly to find out how she was, it had been an awkward uneasy ten minutes of stilted conversation and Antonia thought they had both been glad to say goodbye and hang up.
Gareth made no attempt to get in contact with her.. and she found she didn't really care, perhaps because it made her forget his existence and their sham of a marriage which she just wanted to go away even more so now from she had met Bono.
But she realised she had no right to have any sort of strong feelings towards Bono, and put it down to the fact she wasn't used to having men treating her with such respect, that it was only natural she would be flattered by his attentivness towards her, and that was why she had started to care about him... but she didn't realise how much she cared about him until now.
She wasn't exactly sure when he planned on leaving, he seemed pretty sketchy himself about it, saying probably in a week or so
She decided it would be wiser to see less of him now.. hoping it would make his departure less painful if she got used to not seeing him around as much.
Bono seemed to be in the same frame as mind of her, and made himself scarce. Nothing was said or spoken between them to question the sudden silent decision to avoid each other, they accepted it as the best thing to do.
Bono kept himself occupied with plans for his return to Dublin and getting started on the new album amongst other things, but it was hard getting Antonia out of his mind despite the fact he kept telling himself that falling in love with her could be the craziest thing he could ever do.
After pacing around his house late one afternoon, trying to resist the temptation to go and see her, he decided to go for a stroll, he ended up down by the beach sitting on a large rock watching the foaming waves, then in some vain attempt to purge himself of what was going on inside his head, he pulled out the small notebook and pencil he always kept handy in the back pocket of his jeans, just in case he felt some lyrics coming on, now he tried to write in words what was going on in his brain, but it game out making no sense that he scribbled over it all in frustration.
Sighing he looked up from his book out to the sea, his head idly turning to scan the area around him.
That was when he spotted her, Antonia, standing some distance away, his heart leapt... at first he thought he was having some sort of hallucination
But squinting hard he realised she was indeed standing there, and looking directly at him, her dark hair loose and getting blew around her face in the blustery wind.
He waited, expecting her to wave or to awknowledge him, to maybe come over to him.
But she didn't, she just stood there for what seemed an eternity, but it was really only a moment. Then pushing her hair away from her face she turned and started to walk away
She was probably pissed at him" he realised in dismay, that he hadn't really bothered with her lately and was going back to Dublin abandoning her.
He was about to get to go after her, wanting to explain that was not the case, then stopped himself realising gloomily this might not be a wise move.. maybe it was better she stayed pissed at him.. then it would not be so hard to say goodbye when he had to go.
Antonia did not trust herself to be able to face Bono, which was why she had hurriedly walked away, when he had spotted her watching him.. she hadnt meant to spy on him, but had been taking a walk herself and spotted his lone figure sitting on the rock
seeming engrossed in writing something in a small notebook, he hadn't noticed her till he had suddenly looked up and then looked around him.
She felt her face heat up guiltily that he had caught her out watching him, and she had fled unsure and a litle embarrased, unable to face him. lest she break down in front of him and tell him how much she was going to miss him.
*************************************************
Tragedy struck a few days later. Pat's mother-in-law had taken a turn for the worse, and had died, she was getting buried two days before Bono was due to leave to go back to Dublin.
Although he did not attend the funeral which was more of a private family affair he decided he would drop by the house a little later afterwards as a chance to offer his condolences to Pat and her family and also to thank Pat and her family for extending hospitality to him and keeping his place clean while he had stayed. And also to say goodbye to them all before going back.
Antonia more than likely would be there, saying goodbye to her along with the others was perhaps the best way to go, more easier
for him in the end.
He arrived at Pat's house which was crowed with local friends and mourners, Bono only meant to stay breifly, not wanting to seem intrusive on the families grief.
Pat welcomed him in and he stood shifting uneasily as he offered his sympathy to the family, glancing around the room at the crowd of attentive faces, he spotted Seamus, but not Antonia, perhaps she had not come after all.
Pat's husband thanked him for calling and shook hands with him, and Pat give him a hug, then Seamus came over and also shook hands with him as well "It was nice of you to drop by, sorry your leaving has been under these circumstances.. we were planning on holding a bit of a surprise party for you going.. but it wouldn't feel right now regretfully"
"Its ok" Bono replied "I am just sorry for Pat and the family have to go through this.. its never easy when someone in the family dies"
Seamus now looked around the room distractedly with a small frown "Antonia has not come back yet, I am starting to get a little concerned.. she has been acting a little strange lately seeming a little withdrawn again... just when she was doing so well"
"Bono felt a twinge of concern and guilt, "Where is she?" he enquired
"Up at the graveyard still, she said she wanted to spend some time at her grandmothers graveside after the funeral of Pat's mother-in-law." Seamus explained "I thought she would only be ten minutes or so.. but its been nearly a half hour since, and she hasn't come back, the graveyard is just a stone throw from here.. I wonder should I go and check on her" he finished anxiously
"Why don't you let me do it" Bono replied "I have been wanting to talk to her anyway before I go"
"Ok" Seamus replied with a small grateful smile, and patted Bono on the shoulder "You are a good man"
Bono managed a small smile.. right now he did not feel like he was so good.
He said goodbye and left the house to walk up the road into the narrow lane where the graveyard was situated with a sense if trepidation. It wasnt hard to spot her lone figure in the small graveyard, she was staninglooking sonw at her grandmothers grave seeming lost in her own thoughts.
"Well here goes nothing" Bono muttered to himself and braced himself to be strong as he made his way over to her....
*************************
ok turned out another long chapter.. so will continue on in the next .....be prepared for more angst, tears.. a confession some sort of kissing
and an unexpected visitor turning up in the next part
It made her begin to realise that her own time in Donegal would not be forever.. she would have to return to London and face her father and Gareth.. Her father had phoned her once breifly to find out how she was, it had been an awkward uneasy ten minutes of stilted conversation and Antonia thought they had both been glad to say goodbye and hang up.
Gareth made no attempt to get in contact with her.. and she found she didn't really care, perhaps because it made her forget his existence and their sham of a marriage which she just wanted to go away even more so now from she had met Bono.
But she realised she had no right to have any sort of strong feelings towards Bono, and put it down to the fact she wasn't used to having men treating her with such respect, that it was only natural she would be flattered by his attentivness towards her, and that was why she had started to care about him... but she didn't realise how much she cared about him until now.
She wasn't exactly sure when he planned on leaving, he seemed pretty sketchy himself about it, saying probably in a week or so
She decided it would be wiser to see less of him now.. hoping it would make his departure less painful if she got used to not seeing him around as much.
Bono seemed to be in the same frame as mind of her, and made himself scarce. Nothing was said or spoken between them to question the sudden silent decision to avoid each other, they accepted it as the best thing to do.
Bono kept himself occupied with plans for his return to Dublin and getting started on the new album amongst other things, but it was hard getting Antonia out of his mind despite the fact he kept telling himself that falling in love with her could be the craziest thing he could ever do.
After pacing around his house late one afternoon, trying to resist the temptation to go and see her, he decided to go for a stroll, he ended up down by the beach sitting on a large rock watching the foaming waves, then in some vain attempt to purge himself of what was going on inside his head, he pulled out the small notebook and pencil he always kept handy in the back pocket of his jeans, just in case he felt some lyrics coming on, now he tried to write in words what was going on in his brain, but it game out making no sense that he scribbled over it all in frustration.
Sighing he looked up from his book out to the sea, his head idly turning to scan the area around him.
That was when he spotted her, Antonia, standing some distance away, his heart leapt... at first he thought he was having some sort of hallucination
But squinting hard he realised she was indeed standing there, and looking directly at him, her dark hair loose and getting blew around her face in the blustery wind.
He waited, expecting her to wave or to awknowledge him, to maybe come over to him.
But she didn't, she just stood there for what seemed an eternity, but it was really only a moment. Then pushing her hair away from her face she turned and started to walk away
She was probably pissed at him" he realised in dismay, that he hadn't really bothered with her lately and was going back to Dublin abandoning her.
He was about to get to go after her, wanting to explain that was not the case, then stopped himself realising gloomily this might not be a wise move.. maybe it was better she stayed pissed at him.. then it would not be so hard to say goodbye when he had to go.
Antonia did not trust herself to be able to face Bono, which was why she had hurriedly walked away, when he had spotted her watching him.. she hadnt meant to spy on him, but had been taking a walk herself and spotted his lone figure sitting on the rock
seeming engrossed in writing something in a small notebook, he hadn't noticed her till he had suddenly looked up and then looked around him.
She felt her face heat up guiltily that he had caught her out watching him, and she had fled unsure and a litle embarrased, unable to face him. lest she break down in front of him and tell him how much she was going to miss him.
*************************************************
Tragedy struck a few days later. Pat's mother-in-law had taken a turn for the worse, and had died, she was getting buried two days before Bono was due to leave to go back to Dublin.
Although he did not attend the funeral which was more of a private family affair he decided he would drop by the house a little later afterwards as a chance to offer his condolences to Pat and her family and also to thank Pat and her family for extending hospitality to him and keeping his place clean while he had stayed. And also to say goodbye to them all before going back.
Antonia more than likely would be there, saying goodbye to her along with the others was perhaps the best way to go, more easier
for him in the end.
He arrived at Pat's house which was crowed with local friends and mourners, Bono only meant to stay breifly, not wanting to seem intrusive on the families grief.
Pat welcomed him in and he stood shifting uneasily as he offered his sympathy to the family, glancing around the room at the crowd of attentive faces, he spotted Seamus, but not Antonia, perhaps she had not come after all.
Pat's husband thanked him for calling and shook hands with him, and Pat give him a hug, then Seamus came over and also shook hands with him as well "It was nice of you to drop by, sorry your leaving has been under these circumstances.. we were planning on holding a bit of a surprise party for you going.. but it wouldn't feel right now regretfully"
"Its ok" Bono replied "I am just sorry for Pat and the family have to go through this.. its never easy when someone in the family dies"
Seamus now looked around the room distractedly with a small frown "Antonia has not come back yet, I am starting to get a little concerned.. she has been acting a little strange lately seeming a little withdrawn again... just when she was doing so well"
"Bono felt a twinge of concern and guilt, "Where is she?" he enquired
"Up at the graveyard still, she said she wanted to spend some time at her grandmothers graveside after the funeral of Pat's mother-in-law." Seamus explained "I thought she would only be ten minutes or so.. but its been nearly a half hour since, and she hasn't come back, the graveyard is just a stone throw from here.. I wonder should I go and check on her" he finished anxiously
"Why don't you let me do it" Bono replied "I have been wanting to talk to her anyway before I go"
"Ok" Seamus replied with a small grateful smile, and patted Bono on the shoulder "You are a good man"
Bono managed a small smile.. right now he did not feel like he was so good.
He said goodbye and left the house to walk up the road into the narrow lane where the graveyard was situated with a sense if trepidation. It wasnt hard to spot her lone figure in the small graveyard, she was staninglooking sonw at her grandmothers grave seeming lost in her own thoughts.
"Well here goes nothing" Bono muttered to himself and braced himself to be strong as he made his way over to her....
*************************
ok turned out another long chapter.. so will continue on in the next .....be prepared for more angst, tears.. a confession some sort of kissing
and an unexpected visitor turning up in the next part
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