"Jackass" U2

[bluephisto]

Ok, I saw the "Jackass" Movie and I LOVED it. LMFAOOOO.

Naturally I started thinking ... what about the boys doing their own version??? What sort of mind-bending dare-devil (DOWN MacPhisto!) stunts would they announce to the camera???

Edge: *blush* Hi, I'm The Edge and this is "LEMON DERBY!!!"
*cut to a shot of Edge in a cowboy hat driving the pop-lemon around and around on the PopStage, gaining as much speed as a 40 ft fruit citrus can handle* We, uhh ... made a few modifications to the lemon for this. Just some new tires and a rocket engine on the back, really. Nothing to brag about. *He presses a button and with a BURST, the lemon SHOOTS off the stage and the guys cheer as the gargantuan mirrorball fruit lands in a pit of old, broken, used cars which Edge runs over under the GIANT, monster truck tires he and Larry installed on the lemon before hand. It's all glitter and mayhem until the massive vitamin C source tips over, sending bits of mirrorball everywhere.*
Bono: Wooo!
****

Adam: *Adam stands in front of the camera which shows him shirtless and in front of a highjumping bar and poles, set quite high with a mat behind them* Ready? Is the bar up? *smirk* Hi, I'm Adam and this is "Pole Vaulting".
Off Camera: Uhh, what's so cool about that?
Adam: Well, *looks down* I brought my own equipment.
Off Camera: CUUUT! CUT!
Adam: But, I'm not Jewish!
Off Camera: Oh for the love of G-
****

Larry: *looks at the camera* No.
Off camera: OH COME ON!
Larry: No. No. Sorry. No.
Off Camera: LAR! COME ON!
Lar: Find me a better stunt.
****

Bono: *HUGE GRIN, whispering* Hey! I'm BONO and this is "BOWLING FOR DRUMMERS!"
Larry: *plays drums, oblivious.*
Bono: *sneaks up, giggling* Ten points if I get him to fall on his arse. *he winds up and sends a ball careening towards the drummer. There is a fantastic crash of drums, cymbals and angry Mullen. Bono is estatic* YES! YES! TEN POINTS!!! I Told you!!! *Looks at Larry* Oh... shite ... ummm, that's a sharp-looking drumstick ... feck. *Bono-retreat*
****

Larry: *looking at the camera, a gleam in his eye* Hi, I'm Larry and this is "The Ego Crusher". *he turns to Bono, who is squirming and strapped to a chair so that he can't move* Ok, ready Bono? Ready? *Bono shakes his head no desperately*Right then, here we go. *Larry pulls a photo out of a box and shows it to Bono who squirms and writhes in agony. Larry and the other guys giggle and clap as Bono is increasingly horrified and pushed almost to the edge of his sanity (no pun intended) Finally, they leave him alone because they're all laughing too hard to hold anything up to him anymore*
Off Camera: what were you showing him?
Edge: *shows him a picture of MEGA-MULLET Bono* Old hair pictures.
Bono: *rocking back and forth* Happy place... happy place...

 

[hippy]

Bluey,dahlink, I missed you so!

*has visions of Edge in the lemon*

*has visions of Adam *ahem* pole vaulting *

*has visions of Bono being tortured with his own hair*

<~~~ that smiley is the best one here!

 

[Bonavoix]

Bono: *HUGE GRIN, whispering* Hey! I'm BONO and this is "BOWLING FOR DRUMMERS!"
Larry: *plays drums, oblivious.*
Bono: *sneaks up, giggling* Ten points if I get him to fall on his arse. *he winds up and sends a ball careening towards the drummer. There is a fantastic crash of drums, cymbals and angry Mullen. Bono is estatic* YES! YES! TEN POINTS!!! I Told you!!! *Looks at Larry* Oh... shite ... ummm, that's a sharp-looking drumstick ... feck. *Bono-retreat*
****

Thank you, Bluey. I needed that. They were all fantastic but this was the one that made me laugh the hardest. Poor Larry...

Maybe Bona can show up and offer some *ahem* comfort...

~Bona

 

[U2Kitten]

Mmmm mullet pics! Me & Fallling Star will take 'em! Bono, I love your mullet!

 

[*BOOMCHAA!*]

BWAHAHHAHAHAHHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Kristie]

bwahahahaha

*collapses in a fit of half giggling half hackign up a lung*

dern cold

 

[sharry_lt]

 

[Sicy]

I loveeeeeeeeeeee jackass!



Very creative!

 

[rockonedge]

Yay!

That's hilarious!!! Lets go lemon racing Edge...and i actually used to do pole vaulting in track...thats like every guy's favorite joke. They never really stop. I loved it!

 

[Johnny Knoxville]

Hi I'm Johnny Knoxville welcome to Jackass!

You better stop stealing our ideas or I'm going to have Steve-O poo on you.

 

[madonna's child]

Bluey, I miss your antics.

 

[madamc]

lmfao@adam pole vaulting!!!!!!!!

 

[FallingStar]

Larry: *looking at the camera, a gleam in his eye* Hi, I'm Larry and this is "The Ego Crusher". *he turns to Bono, who is squirming and strapped to a chair so that he can't move* Ok, ready Bono? Ready? *Bono shakes his head no desperately*Right then, here we go. *Larry pulls a photo out of a box and shows it to Bono who squirms and writhes in agony. Larry and the other guys giggle and clap as Bono is increasingly horrified and pushed almost to the edge of his sanity (no pun intended) Finally, they leave him alone because they're all laughing too hard to hold anything up to him anymore*
Off Camera: what were you showing him?
Edge: *shows him a picture of MEGA-MULLET Bono* Old hair pictures.
Bono: *rocking back and forth* Happy place... happy place...

That's hillarious!

Yeah, all the pics to U2Kitten and me!

 

[bluephisto]

Awww, shucks

Aww. Thanks guys.

I haven't been able to be on a computer fast enough to let me access the forum since i posted that. *HUUUUUG* This is my boyfriend's comp, MY comp is like Yoda: Old, Grey ... well., mostly just old and grey. It's so fecking old it doesn't have a place to put cds in it, and still has the original windows 95.

*SIGH*