thrillme
Refugee
In the Kitchen
(for those U2 diehards, the Clarence Hotel used to have a nightclub called the Kitchen, and Adam did one time spend a week or so working with chef Jamie Oliver, what can I say, I like cheesy puns)
(This is my first real attempt at fan fiction, don't think captions count
)
This may just be a one time thing, depends on how inspired I feel.
Adam had gotten up early, as he was supposed to be at the restaurant in a couple hours but decided to "practice" a bit beforehand. Having really enjoyed working with a professional chef, he had wanted to have a go at it again, so when he got the call from Bono's brother Norman to go and play 'chef for a day' at Norman's restaurant, he was more than delighted.
One of Norman's chef's had called in sick, another was on holiday (vacation) and on such short notice, he decided to ring up Adam as he was the only one he knew of who knows his way around his kitchen area and has experience in working in an actual restaurant.
Just as Adam was about to pre-heat his oven he heard his doorbell ringing. "Who could that be at this hour?" he thought.
When he opened the door, he was surprised to see Bono standing in his doorway.
Adam: Everything alright?
Bono walks in to the smell of fresh lemons.
Adam: "Everything cool?"
Bomp "Yea mate, I'm fine, but the missus got a surprise call to go help out with the Chernobyl Children's Project, left this morning, just got back from the airport. Very short notice too."
Adam *muttering* "Now you know how she feels."
Bono: "What's that?"
Adam: "Em, watch out for the peels, the lemon peels, I tossed a few in the rubbish bin but a few missed."
Bono: "What lemon peels?"
Adam: "Oh nevermind, guess I didn't miss, anyway who's watching the kids?"
Bono: "the boys are staying over with Larry's boys ?(think he has 2), the girls are with their cousins."
Adam: "Well I'm not 50,000 people so guess you'll have to entertain yerself for a bit"
Bono: "You busy?"
Adam: "A little, was about to put a pie in the oven when you rang the doorbell."
Bono: "Pie?!!what kind?"
Adam *with a smirk*: "Lemon meringue of course."
Bono: "nice apron by the way."
Adam: "takes a brave man to don an apron mate. Some ladies dig a man in a chef's uniform."
Bono: "speaking of, where's yours? Lady...not the uniform."
Adam: "In a meeting."
Bono: "why are you cooking so early in the morning...and pie...you skipped breakfast went right to dessert?"
Adam *mockingly singing*: "I'm a man, not a child" If I want dessert for breakfast, why should I not have it?
Bono: point taken...snarky man.
Adam: why did you call me Sparky anyway?
Bono: dunno, can't remember.
Adam: Make the pie now, it'll be ready later.
Bono: Uh huh.
Adam: Well since you're here, could you please get me 3 eggs from the fridge? Oh and one side of the carton has hard-boiled eggs, don't need those.
Bono: You put em in one carton...how do you tell which ones are boiled?!
Adam : *shaking his head* spin it. There's a plate on the table, spin it there.
Bono: ye wha?
Adam: if the egg spins, it's boiled, if it kinda wobbles, doesn't really spin, it's not boiled.
Bono: 'plate splate', the table will work
*Sound of egg cracking to floor is heard*
Bono: hey...found one!
Adam: Bono, the 5 second rule does not apply to broken eggs. And why didn't ya use the bloody plate?
Bono: Table would've worked if the egg didn't wobble like that.
Adam: and I thought yer old man was exaggerating when you refused to use a plate to eat a piece of cake.
Bono: Hey! the table worked!
Adam: and the plate would've kept the egg from falling to the floor like that.
Bono: hey, the egg yolk kinda looks like a butterfly.
Adam: well would you kindly clean up the 'butterfly' before you get 'butterfly' smeared all over the floor.
Bono wipes up egg mess but not without muttering a few curses under his breath.
Adam: you broke the bloody egg, and now your cursing at me, what about Edge, why don't you go pest...I mean see what he's up to.
Speaking of, the phone rings with Edge on the other line
Adam: why don't you get that Bono, you like talking so much.
Bono picks up phone, *attempting to speak like Adam*:10 pizzas, yup, I ordered that...having a big party.
Adam: Nice try Bono, I haven't ordered a pizza from anywhere 'round here since the mid-90's.
Edge *taken aback*: what are you on about...you feeling sick there Adam, you sound a bit...well not your self...pizzas, party's what?
Bono *still trying to sound like Adam* : what'da mean?
Edge: You sound like you used to when you were in your mid-20's. Bit higher-pitched voice than normal.
Bono *back to own voice*: what?!
Edge: Bono! what are you doing there! where's Adam?
Bono: Adam had me spinning eggs, I broke one, and he kicked me out of the kitchen.
Edge: aye, the 'boiled or not boiled' egg-spinning test, brilliant.
Bono: how do you find out these things!
Edge: don't watch a lot of cooking shows eh? anywhoo, can you put me with Adam?
Bono: why?
Edge: I called Adam's house, why else would I be calling?
Bono: point taken...*muttering* jerk
Edge: I heard that!
Bono: Feck
Adam: who's on the phone?
Bono: Edge wants to speak with you
Adam takes phone from Bono.
Adam: What's up The
Edge: haha funny, could I borrow your colander? Had to toss out my old one but haven't had time to run out to get another one.
Adam: oh sure, I'll be a gone most of the day, I'll have Bono bring it to you, just don't ask him to help. He'll make 'butterfly' eggs on your floor.
Edge: ye huh?
Adam: nevermind. You need it right away or have him bring it later.
Edge: well before 6pm would be great.
Adam: hey Bono, Edge needs your help.
Bono: ooh great! Someone who appreciates my help.
Adam: I appreciate your help...just not in the kitchen.
Bono: *muttering* Ali says that too.
Adam: *muttering back* smart woman that one.
Bono: *huffs*...okay, you win...this time.
Adam: Edge wants to borrow my colander, could you please get it, it's in the cabinet...right in front of where you made your butterfly egg.
Bono opens cabinet thinking for a second...
Bono: You keep your calendar in the cabinet?! You are a nutter. Wait, Edge has that digital calender...Dr. Spock has to go back to paper calenders *chuckles*
Adam: not a calender, a colander...nutter.
Bono: hey, this bowl has holes in it!
Adam: that would be a colander.
Bono: oooh, Ali will be impressed when she returns, egg spinner master, colander finder extraordinaire!
Adam: Just get that to Edge would ya?
Bono: wait, why can't you take it to him?
Adam: I'll be busy all day, won't have time to do it.
Bono: Doing what?
Adam: Tell ya later, just get that to Edge.
Bono: Fine...see ya later...chef dejouerk.
Adam: That's de jour
Bono: I know what I said.
Bono leaves, Adam goes back to kitchen.
Adam: ah, back to my masterpieces.
(for those U2 diehards, the Clarence Hotel used to have a nightclub called the Kitchen, and Adam did one time spend a week or so working with chef Jamie Oliver, what can I say, I like cheesy puns)
(This is my first real attempt at fan fiction, don't think captions count
)This may just be a one time thing, depends on how inspired I feel.
Adam had gotten up early, as he was supposed to be at the restaurant in a couple hours but decided to "practice" a bit beforehand. Having really enjoyed working with a professional chef, he had wanted to have a go at it again, so when he got the call from Bono's brother Norman to go and play 'chef for a day' at Norman's restaurant, he was more than delighted.
One of Norman's chef's had called in sick, another was on holiday (vacation) and on such short notice, he decided to ring up Adam as he was the only one he knew of who knows his way around his kitchen area and has experience in working in an actual restaurant.
Just as Adam was about to pre-heat his oven he heard his doorbell ringing. "Who could that be at this hour?" he thought.
When he opened the door, he was surprised to see Bono standing in his doorway.
Adam: Everything alright?
Bono walks in to the smell of fresh lemons.
Adam: "Everything cool?"
Bomp "Yea mate, I'm fine, but the missus got a surprise call to go help out with the Chernobyl Children's Project, left this morning, just got back from the airport. Very short notice too."
Adam *muttering* "Now you know how she feels."
Bono: "What's that?"
Adam: "Em, watch out for the peels, the lemon peels, I tossed a few in the rubbish bin but a few missed."
Bono: "What lemon peels?"
Adam: "Oh nevermind, guess I didn't miss, anyway who's watching the kids?"
Bono: "the boys are staying over with Larry's boys ?(think he has 2), the girls are with their cousins."
Adam: "Well I'm not 50,000 people so guess you'll have to entertain yerself for a bit"
Bono: "You busy?"
Adam: "A little, was about to put a pie in the oven when you rang the doorbell."
Bono: "Pie?!!what kind?"
Adam *with a smirk*: "Lemon meringue of course."
Bono: "nice apron by the way."
Adam: "takes a brave man to don an apron mate. Some ladies dig a man in a chef's uniform."
Bono: "speaking of, where's yours? Lady...not the uniform."
Adam: "In a meeting."
Bono: "why are you cooking so early in the morning...and pie...you skipped breakfast went right to dessert?"
Adam *mockingly singing*: "I'm a man, not a child" If I want dessert for breakfast, why should I not have it?
Bono: point taken...snarky man.
Adam: why did you call me Sparky anyway?
Bono: dunno, can't remember.
Adam: Make the pie now, it'll be ready later.
Bono: Uh huh.
Adam: Well since you're here, could you please get me 3 eggs from the fridge? Oh and one side of the carton has hard-boiled eggs, don't need those.
Bono: You put em in one carton...how do you tell which ones are boiled?!
Adam : *shaking his head* spin it. There's a plate on the table, spin it there.
Bono: ye wha?
Adam: if the egg spins, it's boiled, if it kinda wobbles, doesn't really spin, it's not boiled.
Bono: 'plate splate', the table will work
*Sound of egg cracking to floor is heard*
Bono: hey...found one!
Adam: Bono, the 5 second rule does not apply to broken eggs. And why didn't ya use the bloody plate?
Bono: Table would've worked if the egg didn't wobble like that.
Adam: and I thought yer old man was exaggerating when you refused to use a plate to eat a piece of cake.
Bono: Hey! the table worked!
Adam: and the plate would've kept the egg from falling to the floor like that.
Bono: hey, the egg yolk kinda looks like a butterfly.
Adam: well would you kindly clean up the 'butterfly' before you get 'butterfly' smeared all over the floor.
Bono wipes up egg mess but not without muttering a few curses under his breath.
Adam: you broke the bloody egg, and now your cursing at me, what about Edge, why don't you go pest...I mean see what he's up to.
Speaking of, the phone rings with Edge on the other line
Adam: why don't you get that Bono, you like talking so much.
Bono picks up phone, *attempting to speak like Adam*:10 pizzas, yup, I ordered that...having a big party.
Adam: Nice try Bono, I haven't ordered a pizza from anywhere 'round here since the mid-90's.
Edge *taken aback*: what are you on about...you feeling sick there Adam, you sound a bit...well not your self...pizzas, party's what?
Bono *still trying to sound like Adam* : what'da mean?
Edge: You sound like you used to when you were in your mid-20's. Bit higher-pitched voice than normal.
Bono *back to own voice*: what?!
Edge: Bono! what are you doing there! where's Adam?
Bono: Adam had me spinning eggs, I broke one, and he kicked me out of the kitchen.
Edge: aye, the 'boiled or not boiled' egg-spinning test, brilliant.
Bono: how do you find out these things!
Edge: don't watch a lot of cooking shows eh? anywhoo, can you put me with Adam?
Bono: why?
Edge: I called Adam's house, why else would I be calling?
Bono: point taken...*muttering* jerk
Edge: I heard that!
Bono: Feck
Adam: who's on the phone?
Bono: Edge wants to speak with you
Adam takes phone from Bono.
Adam: What's up The
Edge: haha funny, could I borrow your colander? Had to toss out my old one but haven't had time to run out to get another one.
Adam: oh sure, I'll be a gone most of the day, I'll have Bono bring it to you, just don't ask him to help. He'll make 'butterfly' eggs on your floor.
Edge: ye huh?
Adam: nevermind. You need it right away or have him bring it later.
Edge: well before 6pm would be great.
Adam: hey Bono, Edge needs your help.
Bono: ooh great! Someone who appreciates my help.
Adam: I appreciate your help...just not in the kitchen.
Bono: *muttering* Ali says that too.
Adam: *muttering back* smart woman that one.
Bono: *huffs*...okay, you win...this time.
Adam: Edge wants to borrow my colander, could you please get it, it's in the cabinet...right in front of where you made your butterfly egg.
Bono opens cabinet thinking for a second...
Bono: You keep your calendar in the cabinet?! You are a nutter. Wait, Edge has that digital calender...Dr. Spock has to go back to paper calenders *chuckles*
Adam: not a calender, a colander...nutter.
Bono: hey, this bowl has holes in it!
Adam: that would be a colander.
Bono: oooh, Ali will be impressed when she returns, egg spinner master, colander finder extraordinaire!
Adam: Just get that to Edge would ya?
Bono: wait, why can't you take it to him?
Adam: I'll be busy all day, won't have time to do it.
Bono: Doing what?
Adam: Tell ya later, just get that to Edge.
Bono: Fine...see ya later...chef dejouerk.
Adam: That's de jour
Bono: I know what I said.
Bono leaves, Adam goes back to kitchen.
Adam: ah, back to my masterpieces.
Last edited:
pie
