GiantLemon's HOT DATE WITH MR HOT POCKETS

[WildHonee]

HOT DATE WITH MR HOT POCKETS

EDGE: Oo baby I got a hot date tonight. So hot I can FEEL the heat. HOO-AH.

BONO: Em...Edge....yer poptart caught fire.

ADAM: This pop tart?s FLAMING, man!

LARRY: I told you he was gay. You owe me a dollar.

BONO: Feck. Can I pay you some other way? I gave all my money to Africa. SPEAKING of 3rd World debt....

ADAM: I?m not gay!

BONO: Edge, you better get that thing outta the slot.

EDGE: *bluuusshhh*

BONO: O, come on. You know what I?m talking about.

EDGE: *removes black poptart bleeding with fruit filling* I....I?m too nervous to eat.

LARRY:....did anyone ever consider the fact that the 4 of us DON?T live together in one big house.

ADAM: Homophobe.

LARRY: Feck off.

BONO: Calm down, Edge. Are you ready to go? Do you want me to drive you?

EDGE, LARRY, ADAM: NO!!! NO NONONONONO!!!

EDGE: I mean.....no....thanks....*ahem*

BONO:...OK. Does anyone want this pop tart?

MONA: I do!!!!

BONO:....how did you get in here?

EDGE: I?m gonna be late....has anyone seen my goatee?

LARRY: I think it?s under that spoon nest over there.

ADAM: Touch my spoons, and I?ll stick them up yer--

EDGE: O, I found it. *sticks his goatee on* *puts on Edgehat*

All set....aw, tartar sauce. I can?t find my directions to Rachel?s house.....

BONO: She lives in the PLEBA mansion, doesn?t she? How hard can THAT be to find?

EDGE: ..I don?t know if I can hold on..... I don?t know if I?m that strong.....

BONO: Shut up and get outta here! I wanna watch Bravo.

LARRY: Wanker.

BONO: *sniff* O wait, Million Dollar Hotel comes on IFC....*sniff*...Lawrence, do you have a sleeve I could borrow?

LARRY: ....my shirt is only a three--square--inch patch of fabric.. Sorry.

*******************************************************************
EDGE: *mounts his Pee-Wee Herman-style bicycle* Lessee....I think it?s this way.....*drives by random strip joint*

ADAM: *is in front, yelling* YOU CAN?T KICK ME OUT! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?! I MEAN, have you SEEN the Achtung cover???!!

EDGE?s BIKE: O MY *combust*

EDGE: Aw, man. Now I have to walk. Rachel?s gonna be so mad.....my, but it?s chilly out. All my bike needs is a little fixin,? and it?ll be good as new. Oh, look, there?s the PLEBA Mansion!

*rings doorbell* *holds pile of combusted bike parts*

MONA: *opens door* ....yes?...hey, aren?t you Mr. The Edge?

EDGE: Em....yes. I?m here to see--

MONA: Well, lookit you!!! You?re just the cutest little thing!! Gina, c?mere! Look!

GINA: Aaawwwww look he has garbage for us! How sweet. Now, where?s my Polaroid camera? RACHEL!! Are you ready yet? Yer gentleman caller is here!

EDGE: Excuse me, ladies. I broke my bike. Would you be so kind as to help me screw--

GINA: Quick, get him inside before the neighbors see!

EDGE: ...does Rachel even LIVE here at all?

*Edge is abducted into the house, leaving behind a cloud of dust and sequins*

EDGE: Good thing I left the orgasmatron in my other beanie...

TO BE CONTINUED Ooo...WHAT will happen to Edge? Will he get out of the PLEBA Mansion alive?....will Rachel EVER be ready for her date with Edge? Where will they go? WHAT will they do?.....find out in Part II....*suspense*

------------------
~*Mona*~ Echo's Pimpstress Protege
97% compatible with Bono

Proud Owner of the Bon Jovi soap caddy

Love me, give me soul.

"For the good of the nation, you must defile Bono!" ~Echo~

STING: Some dark-haired girl in a camo hat chloroformed me and Bruce Springsteen and put us in these big jars in the basement.

 

[Giant Lemon]

Originally posted by WildHonee:
ADAM: This pop tart?s FLAMING, man!

LARRY: I told you he was gay. You owe me a dollar.

BONO: Feck. Can I pay you some other way? I gave all my money to Africa. SPEAKING of 3rd World debt....

ADAM: I?m not gay!

BONO: Edge, you better get that thing outta the slot.

EDGE: *bluuusshhh*

BONO: *sniff* O wait, Million Dollar Hotel comes on IFC....*sniff*...Lawrence, do you have a sleeve I could borrow?

LARRY: ....my shirt is only a three--square--inch patch of fabric.. Sorry.

EDGE: *mounts his Pee-Wee Herman-style bicycle* Lessee....I think it?s this way.....*drives by random strip joint*

ADAM: *is in front, yelling* YOU CAN?T KICK ME OUT! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?! I MEAN, have you SEEN the Achtung cover???!!

LMAO!!! Thank you so much, Mona! This is hilarious- I was cracking up while reading it. I love the PLEBA mansion and Edge's PeeWee Herman bike. I can't wait until part 2!

 

[Echo]

BWAHAHAHAHAHAAH OW OW OW OW BWAHAHAHAHAHA OW OW OW OW OW!!! Oh....it hurts to laugh....oh... BWAHAHAHAAHA!!!

Mona, this is your BEST YET! If I were Rachel I would be SO PROUD!

Where am I in the queue?

*Fidgets while waiting for her script to be written.*

------------------
*Echo the Pimpstress* ... Proud Owner of Animatronic Edge!

"Sting, you know I love you but you got a hell of a lot to learn about Rock n' Roll." -Bono

"For the good of the nation, you must defile Bono!" - Me

*Somewhere, Edge blushes.*

Bono-Man! An Epic Superhero Adventure!

The Official PLEBA Glossary: Delicious AND Nutritious!

 

[WildHonee]

Whilst I work on the rest, her'es the lineup:
(they're in order by when I recieved the 2nd part--the survey)

1.MullenGirl (check)
2.GiantLemon
3.Echo
4.Madonna'sChild
5.WinterHalcyon
6.Scarlet Hawkmoon
7.Flavia
8.ShyGirl
9.Mrs. Edge

************************
Last night I watched Wayne's World and was inspired. I'm gonna have to see who the lucky person for that one will be...

------------------
~*Mona*~ Echo's Pimpstress Protege
97% compatible with Bono

Proud Owner of the Bon Jovi soap caddy

Love me, give me soul.

"For the good of the nation, you must defile Bono!" ~Echo~

STING: Some dark-haired girl in a camo hat chloroformed me and Bruce Springsteen and put us in these big jars in the basement.

 

[WildHonee]

I am SO sorry. I spent all day working on that TRL thing. I'm such a loser. I know the plot of the rest of GiantLemon's...escapade...so don't worry. Besides, patience is a virtue. Or something.

------------------
~*Mona*~ Echo's Pimpstress Protege
97% compatible with Bono

Love me, give me soul.

"For the good of the nation, you must defile Bono!" ~Echo~

STING:Some dark-haired girl in a camo hat chloroformed me and Bruce Springsteen and put us in these big jars in the basement.~Echo~

 

[Discoteque]

I just love it when these random bits of realism elbow their way into these wacky Mona/Echo/Bluey/Julie stories:

LARRY:....did anyone ever consider the fact that the 4 of us DON?T live together in one big house.

Heh.

 

[WildHonee]

Originally posted by Discoteque:
I just love it when these random bits of realism elbow their way into these wacky Mona/Echo/Bluey/Julie stories:

Heh.

lol OMG Disco, you just made me think of something that deserves its own thread.....



------------------
~*Mona*~ Echo's Pimpstress Protege, 97% compatible with Bono
Love me, give me soul.

"I said I believed in standing, and in leaving your life for rock and roll, and in television, and in origins..."

"For the good of the nation, you must defile Bono!" ~Echo~

A little less circuitry,
a little more poetry.

 

[*~~Bono's_Babe~~*]

oh my gah! lol!! i was reading this thread and a Hot Pockets commercial came on tv!!

 

[WildHonee]

Originally posted by *~~Bono's_Babe~~*:
oh my gah! lol!! i was reading this thread and a Hot Pockets commercial came on tv!!

lol!!!!! I cannot see the world the same as I did before I joined this board....

------------------
~*Mona*~ Echo's Pimpstress Protege, 97% compatible with Bono
Love me, give me soul.

"I said I believed in standing, and in leaving your life for rock and roll, and in television, and in origins..."

"For the good of the nation, you must defile Bono!" ~Echo~

A little less circuitry,
a little more poetry.

 

[WildHonee]

*****PART TWO******

GINA: RRRRAAAAAACCCCCHHHHHEEEELLLLLLLLL!!! Are you ready yet?! Your gentleman caller is hheeerrree!!!! COME ON!!

*silence*

GINA: Oh, SCORE. Maybe she slipped on a bar of soap and is unconscious somewhere.

MONA: O CRAP. And I?ll have to clean that up. Thanks a lot, Gina.

EDGE: Em....shouldn?t you...check on her, then?

GINA: Oh, she?ll come down when she?s good and ready. No need to rush.

EDGE: But we?ll miss the previews. You know one time I went to the movies with Bono and Ali

and they bought me popcorn to keep me quiet and then they went to sit in the back only when the movie ended they weren?t there and I didn?t have a ride home and so I looked all around and finally I went up to that booth, you know where they have the camera and everything set up and I was like ?maybe they?ll be here because they want to know how the camera works? because I sure would if I was unleashed in a movie theatre; well, they were there alright, but they SURE WEREN?T workin? the camera!!!

MONA: *Gina pushed her under the sofa*

GINA: We can?t have you running out about the streets NOW. Remember what happened last time?

ECHO: *drops plate of Rice Krispie Treats* ....oh....THIS is.....our guest?

GINA: Yes...Uh oh. RACHEL, GET DOWN HERE, STAT!!!!!!!

ECHO: *steps closer to Edge* I wasn?t told....who was here. I brought some snacks....are you....HUNGRY, by any chance?

EDGE: *blush* Em, could I possibly have some tools to fix my bike, please?

ECHO: Oh...you like to RIDE, do you? Me, too....

GINA: *stuffs Echo under the sofa, too* You two--

ENTIRE HOUSE: WHERE?!!!

ECHO & MONA: *giggles*

GINA: What?s going on under there?

MONA: Nothing....

ECHO: Edge is shedding sequins...

MONA: Ooh catch them!

ECHO: They?re like SNOW....

MONA:....I hope they remember to take us out of here later.

STEWART COPELAND: *enters room in towel* Em I was kicked out of the sauna. You know, in England they don?t mind if you?re nekkid in the sauna.....

ECHO: WTF?

STEWART: Methinks I?ll just sit down for awhile. *sits on sofa*

ECHO & MONA: Curses upon curses.

EDGE: *bluush* Em, Mr. Copeland, would you mind terribly if I asked you to please cross yer legs, sir?

STEWART: Eh? Come on, I?ve got just a bit part in this one. Let me milk it for all its worth.

ECHO:...bit parts? Milking? Holy mother of swoon....

EDGE: If this is a bad day for Rachel, then I could always come back another time. Except. Well...my bike is broken.

ECHO: Need help with the seat? Heheh

EDGE: Miss Gina, the girl under the sofa-- her advances make me uncomfortable.

GINA: O. Well.....just sit a little closer to me. I?ll protect you.

EDGE: Eh....could I have some Kool-Aid, please?

RACHEL: *comes downstairs* Hey, why didn?t youse guys tell me Edge was here? ....ew, Stewart, cross yer legs. Come on now.

ECHO: Oh, to be 3 dimensional again....how I want to be out there.

MONA: *ouchie*

EDGE: I broke my bike.

RACHEL: Isn?t that cute?! Come with me, we?ll find some tools, and we can screw together. *takes Edge by the hand, and they leave the room*

STEWART: I guess we know who wears the pants in THAT relationship, eh?

ECHO: Stewart!! Go out with me!! Let ME wear the pants!! Pllleeeaasssseee.....

STEWART: Why is the sofa talking? *stands up*

GINA: STEWART! Put yer towel back on.

ECHO: *can only see feet and a towel* Holy moly digging a holey in my souly....

*************************************
.......To be continued......with more of Edge and Rachel, one on one.

O shut up. You know what I mean. Don't make me get my fishing rod. ROD?! WHERE?! OK.

------------------
~*Mona*~ Echo's Pimpstress Protege, 97% compatible with Bono
Love me, give me soul.

"I said I believed in standing, and in leaving your life for rock and roll, and in television, and in origins..."

"For the good of the nation, you must defile Bono!" ~Echo~

A little less circuitry,
a little more poetry.

[This message has been edited by WildHonee (edited 12-01-2001).]

 

[WildHonee]

******PART 3******

IN THE KITCHEN:
EDGE: The last time I was in the PLEBA Mansion kitchen I nearly got basted.

RACHEL: !! NEARLY? So you WEREN?T basted?

EDGE: No, I don?t think so.

RACHEL:...would you like ME to baste you?

EDGE:....I just came in here for some Kool-Aid. And to screw.

RACHEL: *thinks unmentionable things*

EDGE: And I remember the cat licked the butter.

RACHEL:....o I could do so much to manipulate that into--

EDGE: Have you ever had flan?

RACHEL: What? Eh...no.

EDGE: I just invented a Port-a-Flan. For making flan on the go. Can I make you some sweet creamy--

*crash*

RACHEL: What was that?

from the other room[/b]
STEWART: DEAR GOD!! She just lifted up the entire sofa!!!! !!! My towel!!! Jiminy Cricket! Help me!!!

ECHO: *mauls Stewart*

GINA: How can Mona just lay there, curled up, sleeping with a blindfold?

Back in the kitchen...
RACHEL: Well, that?ll keep Echo off of you for awhile.

EDGE: *bllush*

RACHEL: You know, for a person in the public eye, you sure do blush a lot.

EDGE: Do not. *bluu--

RACHEL: What were you just doing there?

EDGE: Nothing. I was saying Bluuuuuuee looks mmaaahhhhvellouus on yoooou.

RACHEL: *bllluuusssh* How sweet!

EDGE: *blush*

MONA: *bursts into kitchen* What happened? Are you guys talking about *bush*? Man Gavin is one hot tamale....

RACHEL: Mona, do you mind? Edge and I were....talking.

MONA: Oh. No biggie. I just came in to get some cold water to pour on Echo. Um....we?re gonna have to get a money pool going to buy a new sofa and a new rock star to occupy us. Stewart?s getting...worn out.

EDGE: *blush*

RACHEL: *Blush*

MONA: Heh, youse guys match. Well, bye!

EDGE: Does that happen often?

RACHEL: ALL the time.

EDGE: Ouch.

RACHEL: What?s the matter? Did you break your Port-a-Flan?

EDGE: No, I have beanie marks on my head. It kinda hurts after awhile.

RACHEL: Oh, well. I could kiss it and make it better

EDGE: *blush*

RACHEL: *leans in and touches her forehead to Edge?s*

EDGE: Are you.....bull-fighting with me? *gulp* *snap*

RACHEL: What was that?

EDGE: I....I just broke my Port-a-Flan.

RACHEL: Sorry...

EDGE: No biggie....nothing a little screwing won?t fix.

RACHEL: *blush* I MUST have this incredible edible Edge...

***************
to be continued, OF COURSE. We gotta see what happens, don't we? Edge and Rachel in a ginormous mansion with plush carpeting? HOO-AH.

------------------
~*Mona*~ Echo's Pimpstress Protege, 97% compatible with Bono
Love me, give me soul.

"I said I believed in standing, and in leaving your life for rock and roll, and in television, and in origins..."

"For the good of the nation, you must defile Bono!" ~Echo~

A little less circuitry,
a little more poetry.

 

[WildHonee]

*bump* for Rachel

------------------
~*Mona*~ Echo's Pimpstress Protege, 97% compatible with Bono
Love me, give me soul.

"I said I believed in standing, and in leaving your life for rock and roll, and in television, and in origins..."

"For the good of the nation, you must defile Bono!" ~Echo~

A little less circuitry,
a little more poetry.

 

[Giant Lemon]

Originally posted by WildHonee:
EDGE: No, I have beanie marks on my head. It kinda hurts after awhile.

RACHEL: Oh, well. I could kiss it and make it better

EDGE: *blush*

RACHEL: *leans in and touches her forehead to Edge?s*

EDGE: Are you.....bull-fighting with me? *gulp* *snap*

RACHEL: What was that?

EDGE: I....I just broke my Port-a-Flan.

RACHEL: Sorry...

EDGE: No biggie....nothing a little screwing won?t fix.

RACHEL: *blush* I MUST have this incredible edible Edge...

LMAO! You rock, Mona! This story just keeps on getting better and better! I love how the Edge sheds sequins.

 

[WildHonee]

Thanks. 'Twill be finished soon. *suspense*

I really should wait until the whole thing's finished before I post a script, but I like to leave ppl hanging.

That was NOT a comment about Bono.

*gets fishing rod*

------------------
~*Mona*~ Echo's Pimpstress Protege, 97% compatible with Bono
Love me, give me soul.

"I said I believed in standing, and in leaving your life for rock and roll, and in television, and in origins..."

"For the good of the nation, you must defile Bono!" ~Echo~

A little less circuitry,
a little more poetry.

 

[mocool12]

Mona! Thanks for the laughs- fiiinniissshhh!

 

[WildHonee]

Thanks, youse guys.

I will finish this soon.

I wanna see how the controversy sorts itself out.

------------------
~*Mona*~ Echo's Pimpstress Protege, 97% compatible with Bono
Love me, give me soul.

"I said I believed in standing, and in leaving your life for rock and roll, and in television, and in origins..."

"For the good of the nation, you must defile Bono!" ~Echo~

A little less circuitry,
a little more poetry.

 

[Giant Lemon]

Originally posted by WildHonee:
to be continued, OF COURSE. We gotta see what happens, don't we? Edge and Rachel in a ginormous mansion with plush carpeting? HOO-AH.

Sounds tantalizing!

 

[WildHonee]

****PART 4*******

EDGE: *is blushing* Em....Miss Rachel, could we possibly leave the mansion soon? It?s quite vibing me out a bit.

RACHEL: O....yeah. Sure. Well, we need to fix your bike, though, right?

EDGE: Yes. I?m sorry, Miss Rachel. Bono totaled my car.

RACHEL: Don?t you own, like, 35 cars?

EDGE: O my. That?s one for each of my children.

RACHEL: *is scandalized*

EDGE: Well we still need to find the tools.

RACHEL: Tools? O yeah. We?ll have to go outside to the shack to get them.

EDGE: The shack?

RACHEL: Yes! It?s dark and miles out from the main house! Let?s go! *drags Edge*

IN THE SHACK
RACHEL: It?s really dark. Let me just grab that flashlight. *grope*

EDGE: !!!!!

RACHEL: Are you OK?

EDGE: That is NOT a flashlight. Nosiree, that is NOT a flashlight

Later, on Edge?s bike
EDGE: I hope we?re not gonna be late for the Xmas party.

RACHEL: Do you still have your gift?

EDGE: Yes, I?m bringing it with me. I was planning on unwrapping my package at the party.

RACHEL: *falls off bike* I?m ok! I?m OK. You know, Edge, you were really hard--

EDGE: *crashes bike into shrubbery*

RACHEL:...to shop for.

Wow. Edge has the WORST luck when he?s riding. His bike, I mean. And don?t you think it?s weird that he can?t even afford a golf cart or something to drive? I mean, he could at LEAST have gotten one of those new scooter things. What?re they called? The Segues? And they look like those old fashioned lawnmowers?

Hey, wouldn?t it be HOT to watch Edge mowing your lawn?

All hot and sweaty and he?d be like MAN, This is HARD work.

And you?d be like ?HOW HARD IS IT??

And he?d be all *blushasaurus rex* And you?d be like ?MAN! Is it HOT out here, or is it just YOU?!?

And when he came over with his lawnmower he had on these JEANS and he had this shirt on, but he had a tank top underneath, and he had his hat on. And he was like ?D?you need me to do any work for ya??

And you?d be all ?Baby, you have NO idea!?

And you?d be like ?Hey, if you rearrange the letters in the word STEAM, you get MEATS. HOO-AH.?

And he?d be all ?I?m up for rearranging meats.?

And then you?d pray to Bono and he?d take the sun and he?d turn it oooooooooooooonnnn turn it on and it would get all hot outside even though it?s December and Edge would be all ?I need to take my shirt off?

And you?d be like ?Hey, I?m paying you to be here, aren?t I??

And he?d be like ?Yes?m, you?ll have to pay me, but I dont? know the MEANING of monetary units?

And you?d be all ?Speaking of units?--


****************************
I forgot where I was.

Geez. *pours cold water on her computer*


------------------
~*Mona*~ 97% compatible with Bono
Love me, give me soul.

A little less circuitry,
a little more poetry.

"For the good of the nation, you must defile Bono!" ~Echo~

The Latin Americans have the sexy end[of Catholicism]~BonoBaby~

7:00pm Bono plays Tetris on Powerbook instead of writing lyrics.

 

[WildHonee]

******PART 5******
Finally, Edge and Rachel arrive at the XMas Party, back at the house that he shares with Bono, Larry, and Adam.

They all DO live in one big house. I SWEAR.

RACHEL: Where is everyone?

EDGE: Who?

RACHEL: I thought everyone else was gonna be here. You said there was gonna be a party or something.

EDGE: I said we would have fun.

RACHEL: Yeah, but-- oh. OH. OOOHHHHH. *giggles like a moron*

BONO: EdgelistenIknowI?mnotsupposedtobeherebecauseyouwantedtobealonewithyerladyfriendoisthisherRachelright?

howd?youdoI?mBonoyoumightknowmeI?mGodandIsavedtheThirdWorldfromspontaneouslycombustingBTWhaveyouSEENthelevatedthread?

It?sjustalittlethingI?mproudofthethreadislittleImeanIdidn?tmeantosaythatIpersonallyamsmalloranythingbecauseI?mNOTyou?dknowthatifyou?dseenthelevatedthreadright?

WellhahaanywayEdgethethingisthatwewereallhelpingprepareforthepartyIsetoutthefoodwekindaranouttasomestuffbutItriedtosubstituteitwithotherthingsyouknowmedicinesmarblespencilshavingst hatsortofthingwellweranoutoffoodcauseAdamwashavinghiscravingsagainandspeakingofcravingsMissRachelyoulookquitedevastatinglygrogeoustonightEdgeisquitealuckyfellowIhopeyousekidshaveag randtimetogetheronthisfineeveningdon?tdoanythingscandalousnowhehehofcoursethere?salegendofscandalsurroundingEdgeandallnotthathe?samanwhoreoranythingImeannotthathe?sacompleteprudeno tthatthere?sanythingwrongwiththatoranythinginfactIwouldthinkittobequiteadmirableexceptthatIhave29childrenwithmywifeandIthinkwe?redueforanother.AnywaythethingisEDGEwewereputtingsome thingsbackinthebathroomthatwetookoutandLarrydroppedhisstickdownthetoilet

MULLENGIRL: somewhere, she *faints*

BONO:andwetriedtofixitandallbyplungingitoutbecauseyouseeAdamthoughtt?wasallingoodfunandhetriedtoflushLarry?sstickdownthetoiletandwellyouknowTHATdidn?tworkbecauseweallknowhowmbigLar ry?sstickisandwelltomakealongstoryshortnotthatLarry?notlongornotthathedoesn?tdeservethelength,ImeannotthatIreallyknow,wellemthethingis

THELOOHASFLOODEDANDIREALLYHAVETOGO!!!!!!!!!!!
*passes out*

EDGE: That can?t be good for business.

RACHEL: What did he say about Larry? stick?

EDGE: I hope the damage isn?t too bad.

RACHEL: Don?t you think if Bono?s bladder is about to explode, we should help him to a bathroom? I mean, that could do some damage.

EDGE: You think his BLADDER is a dangerous weapon? Obviously, you HAVEN?T seen the elevated thread.....

In the bathroom
EDGE: Listen I?m sorry I have to do this now. It?s spoiled everything.

RACHEL: Oh...no, it?s fine. I mean, without the loo working, youse guys would have to be running around outside every time you had to....*mind wanders*

EDGE: Last time Larry was trapped in a bathroom, he made the front page.

RACHEL *blushasaurus rex*

EDGE: Long story.

RACHEL *SUPER Blushasaurus rex&

EDGE: It?s hard--

RACHEL: *falls down drain*

EDGE: -- to explain. O dear.

RACHEL: I?m fine. Really. I can?t believe I?m spending my night helping Edge fix the bathroom

EDGE: *plunge*

RACHEL: I?m just gonna go out there and check on Bono.

BONO: *is playing Tetris on Mona?s graphing calculator*

RACHEL: WHAT are you doing?

BONO: Playing games.

RACHEL: Are you.....better?

BONO: Yes, I used the loo.

RACHEL? *looks around* where?

BONO: We?ve got plants in the house, you know.

ADAM: We?ve got another? Who?

RACHEL: You?re not even HERE!

BONO: Are you alright, love?

EDGE: *plunge* Almost.....

BONO: Hey, shouldn?t you be gettin? all hot and heavy over Edge with all that plunging going on over there in that tight area?

ADAM: Tight....area.....?

BONO: The little bathroom. Wanker. Go AWAY........ALTHOUGH.....speaking of tight areas, have you seen the elevated--

RACHEL: Maybe I?ll just go home.

BONO: *drops calculator*

CALCULATOR: *crunch* O feck me BOOTINS. One feel off.

LARRY: I hear ya, brother.

BONO: Why are you leaving? You can?t leave. Edge was really looking forward to this.

RACHEL: Well, he has to fix the bathroom now.

BONO: O feck is she gonna CRY? And me without my long sleeves Well don?t get all worked up....HEY speaking of getting work up, do you hear Edge in there?

EDGE: *plunge*

BONO: Isn?t that the raunchiest of RAUNCHY? And listen, don?t you think that all that HARD WORK is getting Edge a little hot? He?s probably taking his shirt of riiiiiiiiiiiight about now.

RACHEL: It?s more important that your house DOESN?T flood. I should just go home now. It?s pointless for me to stay. You can?t make me.

BONO:....if you go home this late, I will have to drive you.

RACHEL:....OK you win. I?ll stay.

------------------
~*Mona*~ 97% compatible with Bono
Love me, give me soul.

A little less circuitry,
a little more poetry.

"For the good of the nation, you must defile Bono!" ~Echo~

The Latin Americans have the sexy end[of Catholicism]~BonoBaby~

7:00pm Bono plays Tetris on Powerbook instead of writing lyrics.

 

[Giant Lemon]

LOL! This just keeps on getting wackier and wackier!

I can't believe I'm helping the Edge plunge a toilet! And I actually read all of what Bono said- talk about a chatterbox. I also loved the part about grabbing the "flashlight" in the Shack. And yes, I'd love to watch the Edge mow my lawn (is that code for something?).

 

[WildHonee]

******PART 6********
BONO: Edge is a great guy. Quite bashful, though. It?s fun messing with his head.

EDGE: *falls into toilet* *underwater blush*

BONO: See? Watch this. KEEP IT UP IN THEIR EDGE! PLUNGE THAT THING IN!!

EDGE: *falls out of the scandalized tree and hits every branch on the way down*

BONO: Heheh.

RACHEL: He IS shy sometimes.

BONO: Give him a chance, though. He really wants to spend some time with you. He?s been looking forward to this for a long time.

RACHEL: Really?

BONO: Yes! I?m sure he?s just being shy again. He really DOES want to be with you...I don?t mean WITH you like he thinks you?re a whore...not that a man wouldn?t want to be WITH you.....not that....feck it all to heck.

MONA: You?ve embarrassed yourself enough Bono. Come hither.

RACHEL: Hm.....I?m gonna go check on him.

BONO: Once you?re through....call the police. I have NO idea what Mona has up her sleeve.

ELIZABETH: Willies?

ADAM: Eh?

ELIZABETH: HOO-AH!

BONO: Do random ppl really need to stop in here all the time? How did you get this address anyway?

In the loo
EDGE: *is sitting against the wall, singing softly* And you give yourself away and you give yourself away...

RACHEL: ....Edge?

EDGE: *stumbles* Eh, pardon me, I was just....er....PLUNGING!.....er....that is, I had this stick here, and.....em.....that is to say.....I got stuck....I mean......I usually don?t get stuck......that is.....One time I did a Rubik?s Cube in 23 seconds.

RACHEL: *sits down beside him*

EDGE: *is flustered* Usually it?s a lot longer. The time. To Do It. .....eh the RUBIK?S CUBE. I should get back to plunging now.

RACHEL: Edge, do you want me to be here?

EDGE: Well, the floor is a bit dirty, and, eh.....

RACHEL: No, I mean here with you. At all.

EDGE: Certainly. Just.....well the loo broke. I wish it hadn?t.

RACHEL: ....I did it once in 10 seconds.

EDGE: *falls out the window*

RACHEL: The Rubik?s Cube!!!!!! Wanker.

BONO: *wanders into loo*

EDGE: Don?t you KNOCK?

BONO: I prefer banging. *griiiiinnnnnnnn*

EDGE: *falls into the gunk that holds the floor tiles together*

BONO: O, by the way, I found this thing. It looks like a portable flan maker.

EDGE: O that?s my port-a-flan.

BONO: I love flan. It?s sweet and creamy.

EDGE: ....didn?t we already do this bit?

BONO:....did we? Yes, I s?pose we did. Well....let?s try this, shall we?........

*suspense*

------------------
~*Mona*~ 97% compatible with Bono
Love me, give me soul.

A little less circuitry,
a little more poetry.

"For the good of the nation, you must defile Bono!" ~Echo~

The Latin Americans have the sexy end[of Catholicism]~BonoBaby~

7:00pm Bono plays Tetris on Powerbook instead of writing lyrics.

 

[hippy]

I LOVE THIS!!!! OMG, you are soooo creative! I wish I could write like this...seriously...

"Have you seen the elevated thread?" Hehe

LMAO!

------------------
One love, one life...
Give peace a chance!
Don't let the bastards grind you down!

BONO: I think you pull it.
HIPPYACTRESS: !!
BONO: Or push it.
BONO: Just....feckin? twist it, I guess. I don't know. I WANT MORE!!
HIPPYACTRESS: *passes out*
BONO: NURSE!!! *rings bell* I did it again!

 

[WildHonee]

Before I post the FINAL PART,

the MORAL OF THE STORY: No matter how shy you are, there will be always someone who is willing to watch you plunge.

BTW anyone ever notice how sometimes when ppl are doing phsyical work they make these GRUNTING noises? *suggestive* Liiiike they're doing construction at my school and all the workmen are like

*suggestive noise* *BANG* *suggestive noise* lol it's quite entertaining.

ON WITH THE SHOW

------------------
~*Mona*~ 97% compatible with Bono
Love me, give me soul.

A little less circuitry,
a little more poetry.

"For the good of the nation, you must defile Bono!" ~Echo~

The Latin Americans have the sexy end[of Catholicism]~BonoBaby~

7:00pm Bono plays Tetris on Powerbook instead of writing lyrics.

 

[Giant Lemon]

Originally posted by WildHonee:
BONO: Yes! I?m sure he?s just being shy again. He really DOES want to be with you...I don?t mean WITH you like he thinks you?re a whore...not that a man wouldn?t want to be WITH you.....not that....feck it all to heck.

LMAO!!! For some reason that quote just makes me crack up hysterically! Anyway, great job, Mona- this is truly hilarious. I love the whole "I did it in 10 seconds" and "I prefer banging" conversations!

 

[WildHonee]

******PART 7********
not quite the scooby doo ending, but HEY

EDGE: Bono, those candies you put out on the table for us were delicious! I ate the whole bowl.

BONO:.....oh....you DID?

EDGE:! Yes.

LARRY: *comes into the house*

EDGE: I didn?t know whether you were supposed to just suck on them or--

LARRY *does a complete U turn and leaves the house*

BONO: Em.....I just put those out there for...kind of.....decoration......

EDGE:....what do you mean?

BONO: Well. They?re not MINE. They were Adam?s I think.

EDGE: .....Bono? What did you do?

BONO: Well remember how Adam ate all the food and we had to put out other things to substitute for the food? Well......

EDGE: Yes?

BONO: WELL.....

EDGE: This is my favorite part

BONO: Speaking of parts....

EDGE: They weren?t Good n Plenty, were they....

BONO: Well, in a WAY......

EDGE: Get on with it.

BONO: *sigh* OK we put the secret Viagra stash out instead of candy, OK?

EDGE:......WTF kind of plot twist is THAT?

BONO: Well it allows for THIS!!!!!!!!!!! ----

*GRATUITOUS LOVE SCENE BETWEEN EDGE AND RACHEL*

mood music: http://www.geocities.com/u2_bono_2000/

BONO:.....in the LOO? Feck. MONA! YOU GOT SOME CLEANIN? TO DDOOOO!!

STING: *wanders in, wearing yoga diaper* I can do it for 8 days.

EDGE: ....the Rubik?s Cube?

BONO: *rolls eyes* Get back to yer gratuitous love scene, Reg.

EDGE: Miss Rachel?

RACHEL: Yes?

EDGE: I composed a song for you.

RACHEL: What?

EDGE: Well, *ahem*

I let something fall away
It might have been your dress
or it might have been my shame.

I lost hold of something big.
It might have been myself.
It might have been your kiss.

If you needed more push than pull on your lips,
If you cried for grace and a baby for your hips,
If you saw roses as more water than blood,
oh, that was my love.

I was plastic looking for
a little less to help me
to have a little more.

I won?t live in a line
I won?t let you touch me before I touch you.
I won?t live in time
unless you want me to.

If you fit religion through the eye of a needle,
If you wanted a body for your last meal,
If you didn?t understand what it was,
oh, that was my love.

I have only these two hands
I?ve had them since I was born.
I can use them to settle you down
or bring you to my war.

I have only these two hands.
I bring them to you every day.
I can use them to destroy
or I can use them to pray.

If you saw God in a face or a pair of legs,
If you wondered where the soul went,
When you stopped seeing peace in a drink and a dove,
oh, that was my love.

If you?re beautiful, the world will treat you kind.
But beauty?s a private show, you know,
and I?m so glad you?re mine.

If you know you had something to discover
oh, that was my love.

*GRATUITOUS LOVE SCENE IS RESUMED*

LARRY: *barges in* Hey, Edge, it?s yer turn to mow the lawn this week.

EDGE: OK Get the motor started and I?ll be right out to ride it....we have a ride-on mower people.

BONO: Someone get their brains outta the gutter.

LARRY: I?ll use my Feckin? Rod on you.

EDGE: *blush*

lol *outdoors U2 porn* with Larry?s Feckin? Rod. o my.

***************THE END**************

------------------
~*Mona*~ 97% compatible with Bono
Love me, give me soul.

A little less circuitry,
a little more poetry.

"For the good of the nation, you must defile Bono!" ~Echo~

The Latin Americans have the sexy end[of Catholicism]~BonoBaby~

7:00pm Bono plays Tetris on Powerbook instead of writing lyrics.

 

[WildHonee]

Echo......you're next.

ooooo this'll be SWEET.

------------------
~*Mona*~ 97% compatible with Bono
Love me, give me soul.

A little less circuitry,
a little more poetry.

"For the good of the nation, you must defile Bono!" ~Echo~

The Latin Americans have the sexy end[of Catholicism]~BonoBaby~

7:00pm Bono plays Tetris on Powerbook instead of writing lyrics.

 

[hippy]

Like I said before:

I LOVE IT!!! And I can't believe you even added music to it!!!! Argh...this is too funny...must sit down

ROFL!!!!

------------------
One love, one life...
Give peace a chance!
Don't let the bastards grind you down!

BONO: I think you pull it.
HIPPYACTRESS: !!
BONO: Or push it.
BONO: Just....feckin? twist it, I guess. I don't know. I WANT MORE!!
HIPPYACTRESS: *passes out*
BONO: NURSE!!! *rings bell* I did it again!

 

[Giant Lemon]

Originally posted by WildHonee:
BONO: *sigh* OK we put the secret Viagra stash out instead of candy, OK?

EDGE:......WTF kind of plot twist is THAT?

BONO: Well it allows for THIS!!!!!!!!!!! ----

*GRATUITOUS LOVE SCENE BETWEEN EDGE AND RACHEL*

mood music: http://www.geocities.com/u2_bono_2000/

BONO:.....in the LOO? Feck. MONA! YOU GOT SOME CLEANIN? TO DDOOOO!!

LMAO! Thank you, thank you, thank you for this wonderful script! I'm definitely going to save it- there's no way I can forget my passionate Viagra-induced lovemaking in the bathroom with the Edge with Bono's suggestive noises as an accompaniment! *swoon*

I was laughing so much when it got to the gratuitous love scene- I really hope my housemates didn't hear me because I don't want to explain what I was reading.

So thank you again, Mona- I got plenty of laughs from it (and I hope other PLEBAns did too!).

 

[Giant Lemon]

I just wanted to add that I love the moral of the story: "No matter how shy you are, there will be always someone who is willing to watch you plunge." How true!

 

[madonna's child]

very amusing!

------------------
Happy Hannukah!

"Revolution starts at home, in your heart, in your refusal to compromise your beliefs and your values." - Bono

"And I wear gray underwear." -Bono

Love,
Emily

Visit my webpage for U2 wallpapers:
www.geocities.com/springtime5348/index.html

You hurt yourself, you hurt your lover, then you discover what you thought was freedom is just greed...