dianepm
Professional Insomniac
DISCLAIMER: I don’t own U2. I don’t know them either.
Author’s Notes: about the dream. You know when a strobe light goes off and you get the flashes of movement? That’s what the dream is like. Flashes. Like you can’t hold on to one image. I hope that makes sense.
COVER ME CHAPTER 5
Bright light
Loud voices yelling
“I can’t live without you and you’re not going to live without me.”
Blue flashing lights
A gun in his hand
Sweat pouring down his face
Loud scream
Loud bang
Red haze
Pain
Wetness
Red
Red
Can’t breathe
Can’t breathe!
CAN’T BREATHE!!!
Mags! Mags wake up!!
I wake up and hear nothing but silence. Then I start to shake. I smell something woodsy. I smell something male. I struggle to get out of the arms around me. I push at the arms. I push hard and hear a big thump and crash.
Hide. I have to hide. I run to the closet. I have to hide. If I hide she can’t find me. If I hide she won’t hit me.
I start rocking back and forth.
I can’t breathe.
After a little while I start to slow down my breathing. I look up into a pair of blue eyes. They look worried. Why are they worried?
“Come on Mags love, it’s ok” I hear a male voice say. I know that voice.
“Wh..Where am I?” I ask in a small voice.
“You’re safe love. You’re ok.” The voice says again.
“What happened? Why am I in the closet?” I ask.
“You had a nightmare. Come out of there now love. You’re safe.”
It all comes rushing back.
“Bono. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” I say.
“I’ll live. You have quite the left hook sweetheart.” He says with a chuckle.
I try to stand but my legs buckle under me. I feel a pair of arms lift me up. I wince at the feel of his arms. He takes me over to my bed and goes to get me a glass of water.
“Here now love, drink this.” He says handing me the glass. “Can you talk about it?”
I nod and try to think of where to start.
“I told you that when I was ten my parents died. What I didn’t tell you is that my father shot my mother, then me and then himself. I don’t remember all of it. I remember the police being there. I remember Mama coming to the hospital after. My father was an alcoholic and my mother was a stay-at-home mom. I remember he used to hit her.” I said. “I get these panic attacks every once in awhile. Usually I’m by myself so it doesn’t matter that I come up hitting. I’m really sorry.”
“Did he ever hit you?” he asks.
“No. But she did.” I say. “She used to tell me that he was a good man until I came along. She blamed me for his behaviour.”
I look up and see that his eyes have turned into blue ice.
“I think Mama knew something like this would happen one day. I never knew that anyone else knew. I could never tell anyone. I felt so ashamed. I felt like it was my fault.”
“It wasn’t. You have to know that. You were 10 fecking years old!” He says raising his voice a little.
“I know that. I haven’t had a dream this bad for a while. I guess I was due. I’m sorry you were the one to have to see it.” I said. “Thank you for the water Bono. You should go back to sleep. I’ll be ok.”
“Are you sure you’ll be ok?” He asks.
“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” I say. I want him to go so I can cry without him seeing. I get under the covers and lie back down. He comes over and tucks me in. I try to take a deep breath and a sob escapes. I feel his arm come around me and the bed dip with his weight. I start to really cry and he just holds me. I do something I haven’t done in 20 years. I let him hold me while I cry.
When I wake up the next morning he’s gone. I have a headache and I really don’t want to get out of bed. I look over at the clock. It’s unplugged.
“Damn cat,” I think to myself.
I sit up and see Bono sleeping in the chair. He has a bruise forming on his shoulder and it’s then I realize he has no shirt on. I do my best not to stare. I don’t really try very hard. I think about what happened last night and it dawns on me. I had Bono in my bed! I look back at him and I look into a pair of sleepy blue eyes.
“Good morning love,” he says.
“Good morning Bono” I say. “Thank you.”
“For what?” he asks.
“For letting me use your shoulder last night. I don’t usually have dreams like that. Did I give you that bruise?” I ask.
“Don’t worry about it love. We have bigger things to worry about. Like what we’re going to have for breakfast.” He says.
Ugh. I can’t even think about food.
“Coffee. I want lots of coffee.” I say. He laughs.
I see Edge and Kat come out of their rooms. They look at each other and blush.
“What is going on with those two?” I say.
“I have no idea. But I’m glad to see him happy. He’s been down lately. I really like Kat. She’s a nice girl.” Bono says.
“Maybe they are not just pretending to like each other. That would be nice. I know she’s had a crush on Edge for a long time.” I say. “Um…. don’t tell him. I wasn't supposed to tell anyone.”
“What about you? Do you have a crush on anyone?” He asks with a big grin.
I blush. “I’ll take the fifth on that one.” I say. I smile at him. We stare into each other’s eyes for a minute. I could get lost in those eyes.
“What’s for breakfast?” Edge asks, making us jump.
I get out of bed and grab some clothes out of my suitcase. I get changed in the bathroom and when I come back out Bono is at the stove trying to make eggs.
“Bono?” I say. “What are you doing?”
“I’m making breakfast since you made supper last night. Thought it was only fair.”
“Do you know what you’re doing?” I say with a little trepidation.
“How hard can it be?” He says.
I chose not to answer that. I start to wonder if the rumours of his cooking skills, or lack thereof, are true. I really hope not. I’d like to live.
“What’s on your schedule today boys?” I ask.
“Well,” says Edge “we have a movie premier to go to tonight. Do you two have any plans for this evening?”
“We have to go Edge, we’re your security remember?” Kat says.
“Of course, I just thought you’d appreciate being asked.” He says to her.
I quickly run through my wardrobe in my head. Nope, not a dress in sight.
“Kat, we have to go shopping.” I say.
“That’s a bad thing?” she asks. I laugh.
“I need a dress and shoes.” I say. I hate shopping.
“Edge and I will go with you. Outfits on us. No need for you to spend your hard earned money. After all, it’s our fault you have to spend it in the first place.” Bono says.
“You want to go dress and shoe shopping with two girls?” I ask. “Most guys I know would consider that torture.”
“Of course. We need to make sure our girlfriends look good.” He says with a wink.
We all climb into Kats car as neither one of them would let bono or myself drive. We end up at the really expensive store. We go in and Bono starts immediately flirting with all the female staff. Edge just goes to sit in the corner and watch everything around him. Kat and I head straight to the dresses. I find a really nice black and mauve one with a scooped neckline and a skirt that flares out and ends just above the knee. I go to try it on. When I come out to look at it in the mirror I see Bono turn around a look at me. I meet his eyes in the mirror and his eyes have something in them I can’t identify. He’s looking at me like he’s never seen me before. Our eyes meet and there’s a spark.
“So do you like it Bono?” I ask.
“You look beautiful Mags.” He says.
I blush. I don’t think any man has ever said that to me before. Kat comes out in a black off the shoulder type dress.
“Wow. That looks fantastic on you Kat.” I tell her. I look over and see Edge looking at her with a look of wonder. “What do you think of it Edge?”
“I think you look beautiful too Kat.” He says.
We go to the shoe store and that takes a bit longer. We go back to the car and go to the station house. Kat and I have to check in. I make a stop at the Starbucks and then we go in.
Baxter sees us and calls us over. He looks worried.
“We got this in the mail today.” He says handing me an envelope. It’s a picture of Bono and me at the grocery store. My face is x’ed out and across the bottom in big black letters are the words “HE’S MINE”.
I swallow hard. “I’d say she knows about us now.” I say trying to sound calm. Bono looks extremely worried.
“If this gets the attention off of Bono and on to me we may be able to use this to our advantage.” I say.
Both Bono and Baxter say “No way,” at the same time.
“I can take care of myself you know.” I say.
“I don’t care,” says Baxter. “I don’t use one of my detectives as bait.”
“But if we can lure this psycho bitch out into the open, we can get her.” I say.
“I’ll think about it,” Baxter says.
When we get home we have just enough time to get changed and go to the premier. We take a limo to the theatre and when Bono and I get out there are flashes going off everywhere. Bono takes my hand and I feel a small shiver to up my arm. We pose for pictures. I feel like an idiot. I also feel a little unworthy to be with Bono. I look back to look for Kat and I see she is enjoying herself.
All during the movie Bono is holding my hand. Every once in awhile his thumb rubs over my knuckles. I get a little bold and I rub my thumb over his. I look over and see him smile. I feel myself starting to feel more comfortable with him.
After the movie we go to an after-party and I get introduced to a whole lot of people. Every time he introduces me as his girl friend I get a little flutter in my stomach. Edge, Bono, Kat and I dance all night. During the slow songs Bono holds me close to him. My face ends up pressed to his neck and I can smell him. I get an over-whelming urge to bite his neck. He pulls his face back and looks into my eyes. All the sounds around me disappear. I close my eyes and very lightly brush my lips against his. Then all of a sudden I realize what I’m doing and turn and run to the ladies room.
“Mags!” I hear him call after me. I push the door open and run in.
Kat comes in a minute later. “Bono is pacing outside the door. What happened?”
”I did something really stupid. I kissed him. Then I ran. I didn’t know what else to do. I know we are supposed to be pretending to go out but that was taking it a little too far.” I say in one breath.
“He doesn’t look mad Mags. He looks like someone just whacked him over the head. You should go out there and talk to him.”
“Ok.” I say.
I go out and see him sitting on a bench. I go over and sit down beside him.
“I don’t know why I did that. I’m sorry,” I say.
“For the kiss or for running?” He asks.
“Both,” I say. “Take me home Bono I don’t feel like being in a crowd. It’s a little claustrophobic.”
The ride home is quiet. I don’t know what to say. He just looks out the window.
We get into the house and he turns to me.
“I think I’m going to go t bed” He says, “I’m a little tired after all this excitement.”
“Me too.” I say. “Good night Bono.”
He turns to face me. His hands come up to my face and he looks into my eyes. He leans forward and brushes his lips against mine. Without even thinking about it I start to kiss him back. My hands go up to his shoulders. He turns his head slightly and deepens the kiss. Then he breaks away.
“Good night love. Sweet Dreams.” He says in a low voice then turns and goes into his bedroom.
I stand there for a minute getting my breath back. I put my fingers up to my lips. I can still feel the kiss. It’s then that I realize something.
I’ve just fallen in love with Bono.
Author’s Notes: about the dream. You know when a strobe light goes off and you get the flashes of movement? That’s what the dream is like. Flashes. Like you can’t hold on to one image. I hope that makes sense.
COVER ME CHAPTER 5
Bright light
Loud voices yelling
“I can’t live without you and you’re not going to live without me.”
Blue flashing lights
A gun in his hand
Sweat pouring down his face
Loud scream
Loud bang
Red haze
Pain
Wetness
Red
Red
Can’t breathe
Can’t breathe!
CAN’T BREATHE!!!
Mags! Mags wake up!!
I wake up and hear nothing but silence. Then I start to shake. I smell something woodsy. I smell something male. I struggle to get out of the arms around me. I push at the arms. I push hard and hear a big thump and crash.
Hide. I have to hide. I run to the closet. I have to hide. If I hide she can’t find me. If I hide she won’t hit me.
I start rocking back and forth.
I can’t breathe.
After a little while I start to slow down my breathing. I look up into a pair of blue eyes. They look worried. Why are they worried?
“Come on Mags love, it’s ok” I hear a male voice say. I know that voice.
“Wh..Where am I?” I ask in a small voice.
“You’re safe love. You’re ok.” The voice says again.
“What happened? Why am I in the closet?” I ask.
“You had a nightmare. Come out of there now love. You’re safe.”
It all comes rushing back.
“Bono. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” I say.
“I’ll live. You have quite the left hook sweetheart.” He says with a chuckle.
I try to stand but my legs buckle under me. I feel a pair of arms lift me up. I wince at the feel of his arms. He takes me over to my bed and goes to get me a glass of water.
“Here now love, drink this.” He says handing me the glass. “Can you talk about it?”
I nod and try to think of where to start.
“I told you that when I was ten my parents died. What I didn’t tell you is that my father shot my mother, then me and then himself. I don’t remember all of it. I remember the police being there. I remember Mama coming to the hospital after. My father was an alcoholic and my mother was a stay-at-home mom. I remember he used to hit her.” I said. “I get these panic attacks every once in awhile. Usually I’m by myself so it doesn’t matter that I come up hitting. I’m really sorry.”
“Did he ever hit you?” he asks.
“No. But she did.” I say. “She used to tell me that he was a good man until I came along. She blamed me for his behaviour.”
I look up and see that his eyes have turned into blue ice.
“I think Mama knew something like this would happen one day. I never knew that anyone else knew. I could never tell anyone. I felt so ashamed. I felt like it was my fault.”
“It wasn’t. You have to know that. You were 10 fecking years old!” He says raising his voice a little.
“I know that. I haven’t had a dream this bad for a while. I guess I was due. I’m sorry you were the one to have to see it.” I said. “Thank you for the water Bono. You should go back to sleep. I’ll be ok.”
“Are you sure you’ll be ok?” He asks.
“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” I say. I want him to go so I can cry without him seeing. I get under the covers and lie back down. He comes over and tucks me in. I try to take a deep breath and a sob escapes. I feel his arm come around me and the bed dip with his weight. I start to really cry and he just holds me. I do something I haven’t done in 20 years. I let him hold me while I cry.
When I wake up the next morning he’s gone. I have a headache and I really don’t want to get out of bed. I look over at the clock. It’s unplugged.
“Damn cat,” I think to myself.
I sit up and see Bono sleeping in the chair. He has a bruise forming on his shoulder and it’s then I realize he has no shirt on. I do my best not to stare. I don’t really try very hard. I think about what happened last night and it dawns on me. I had Bono in my bed! I look back at him and I look into a pair of sleepy blue eyes.
“Good morning love,” he says.
“Good morning Bono” I say. “Thank you.”
“For what?” he asks.
“For letting me use your shoulder last night. I don’t usually have dreams like that. Did I give you that bruise?” I ask.
“Don’t worry about it love. We have bigger things to worry about. Like what we’re going to have for breakfast.” He says.
Ugh. I can’t even think about food.
“Coffee. I want lots of coffee.” I say. He laughs.
I see Edge and Kat come out of their rooms. They look at each other and blush.
“What is going on with those two?” I say.
“I have no idea. But I’m glad to see him happy. He’s been down lately. I really like Kat. She’s a nice girl.” Bono says.
“Maybe they are not just pretending to like each other. That would be nice. I know she’s had a crush on Edge for a long time.” I say. “Um…. don’t tell him. I wasn't supposed to tell anyone.”
“What about you? Do you have a crush on anyone?” He asks with a big grin.
I blush. “I’ll take the fifth on that one.” I say. I smile at him. We stare into each other’s eyes for a minute. I could get lost in those eyes.
“What’s for breakfast?” Edge asks, making us jump.
I get out of bed and grab some clothes out of my suitcase. I get changed in the bathroom and when I come back out Bono is at the stove trying to make eggs.
“Bono?” I say. “What are you doing?”
“I’m making breakfast since you made supper last night. Thought it was only fair.”
“Do you know what you’re doing?” I say with a little trepidation.
“How hard can it be?” He says.
I chose not to answer that. I start to wonder if the rumours of his cooking skills, or lack thereof, are true. I really hope not. I’d like to live.
“What’s on your schedule today boys?” I ask.
“Well,” says Edge “we have a movie premier to go to tonight. Do you two have any plans for this evening?”
“We have to go Edge, we’re your security remember?” Kat says.
“Of course, I just thought you’d appreciate being asked.” He says to her.
I quickly run through my wardrobe in my head. Nope, not a dress in sight.
“Kat, we have to go shopping.” I say.
“That’s a bad thing?” she asks. I laugh.
“I need a dress and shoes.” I say. I hate shopping.
“Edge and I will go with you. Outfits on us. No need for you to spend your hard earned money. After all, it’s our fault you have to spend it in the first place.” Bono says.
“You want to go dress and shoe shopping with two girls?” I ask. “Most guys I know would consider that torture.”
“Of course. We need to make sure our girlfriends look good.” He says with a wink.
We all climb into Kats car as neither one of them would let bono or myself drive. We end up at the really expensive store. We go in and Bono starts immediately flirting with all the female staff. Edge just goes to sit in the corner and watch everything around him. Kat and I head straight to the dresses. I find a really nice black and mauve one with a scooped neckline and a skirt that flares out and ends just above the knee. I go to try it on. When I come out to look at it in the mirror I see Bono turn around a look at me. I meet his eyes in the mirror and his eyes have something in them I can’t identify. He’s looking at me like he’s never seen me before. Our eyes meet and there’s a spark.
“So do you like it Bono?” I ask.
“You look beautiful Mags.” He says.
I blush. I don’t think any man has ever said that to me before. Kat comes out in a black off the shoulder type dress.
“Wow. That looks fantastic on you Kat.” I tell her. I look over and see Edge looking at her with a look of wonder. “What do you think of it Edge?”
“I think you look beautiful too Kat.” He says.
We go to the shoe store and that takes a bit longer. We go back to the car and go to the station house. Kat and I have to check in. I make a stop at the Starbucks and then we go in.
Baxter sees us and calls us over. He looks worried.
“We got this in the mail today.” He says handing me an envelope. It’s a picture of Bono and me at the grocery store. My face is x’ed out and across the bottom in big black letters are the words “HE’S MINE”.
I swallow hard. “I’d say she knows about us now.” I say trying to sound calm. Bono looks extremely worried.
“If this gets the attention off of Bono and on to me we may be able to use this to our advantage.” I say.
Both Bono and Baxter say “No way,” at the same time.
“I can take care of myself you know.” I say.
“I don’t care,” says Baxter. “I don’t use one of my detectives as bait.”
“But if we can lure this psycho bitch out into the open, we can get her.” I say.
“I’ll think about it,” Baxter says.
When we get home we have just enough time to get changed and go to the premier. We take a limo to the theatre and when Bono and I get out there are flashes going off everywhere. Bono takes my hand and I feel a small shiver to up my arm. We pose for pictures. I feel like an idiot. I also feel a little unworthy to be with Bono. I look back to look for Kat and I see she is enjoying herself.
All during the movie Bono is holding my hand. Every once in awhile his thumb rubs over my knuckles. I get a little bold and I rub my thumb over his. I look over and see him smile. I feel myself starting to feel more comfortable with him.
After the movie we go to an after-party and I get introduced to a whole lot of people. Every time he introduces me as his girl friend I get a little flutter in my stomach. Edge, Bono, Kat and I dance all night. During the slow songs Bono holds me close to him. My face ends up pressed to his neck and I can smell him. I get an over-whelming urge to bite his neck. He pulls his face back and looks into my eyes. All the sounds around me disappear. I close my eyes and very lightly brush my lips against his. Then all of a sudden I realize what I’m doing and turn and run to the ladies room.
“Mags!” I hear him call after me. I push the door open and run in.
Kat comes in a minute later. “Bono is pacing outside the door. What happened?”
”I did something really stupid. I kissed him. Then I ran. I didn’t know what else to do. I know we are supposed to be pretending to go out but that was taking it a little too far.” I say in one breath.
“He doesn’t look mad Mags. He looks like someone just whacked him over the head. You should go out there and talk to him.”
“Ok.” I say.
I go out and see him sitting on a bench. I go over and sit down beside him.
“I don’t know why I did that. I’m sorry,” I say.
“For the kiss or for running?” He asks.
“Both,” I say. “Take me home Bono I don’t feel like being in a crowd. It’s a little claustrophobic.”
The ride home is quiet. I don’t know what to say. He just looks out the window.
We get into the house and he turns to me.
“I think I’m going to go t bed” He says, “I’m a little tired after all this excitement.”
“Me too.” I say. “Good night Bono.”
He turns to face me. His hands come up to my face and he looks into my eyes. He leans forward and brushes his lips against mine. Without even thinking about it I start to kiss him back. My hands go up to his shoulders. He turns his head slightly and deepens the kiss. Then he breaks away.
“Good night love. Sweet Dreams.” He says in a low voice then turns and goes into his bedroom.
I stand there for a minute getting my breath back. I put my fingers up to my lips. I can still feel the kiss. It’s then that I realize something.
I’ve just fallen in love with Bono.
a whodunit worthy as the name, diane. (darn it, hope the concept is clear 
)
...ah, never mind...maybe I haven't understood.
