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Old 03-14-2002, 04:37 PM   #1
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Adam's Battle With A Gay Cat And Spoons

Adam: *sighs as he unlocks the door and enters his hotel room*

Adam: *mutters to self* Another night of watching women fawn all over Bono, Edge, and Larry...does nobody love me?

Adam: *opens door and turns on light...much to his surprise, an orange and white cat is laying on his bed*

Cat: Hello, Adam. Please allow me to introduce myself...my name is Thomas Jefferson.

Adam: Oh...Bonochick's gay British cat?

TJ: Please...I'm only half British...she's got it all wrong...

Adam: Sorry.

TJ: So...I hear you are pretty lonely...I thought you could use some company...

Adam: *steps back* Whoa...when I mentioned wanting pussy, I didn't mean-

TJ: *gasps* You pervert! *slaps Adam with tail* I was just talking about hanging out...

Adam: *blushes* Ohhhhh...

TJ: *shifts eyes* I have an idea...if you're up to it...

Adam: What did you have in mind?

TJ: There's a spoon shop down the street and-

Adam: Whooooa, Thomas Jefferson....whooooa...you know I gave up drinking, smoking, and spoons...they were killing me...

TJ: You know you want them...you burn for spoons...

Adam: Please, TJ...this is too much...I can't handle it...

TJ: Oh yeah...well...what do you say to...THIS?!?!? *whips out gigantic spoon from under the bedspread*

Adam: *falls to the floor* Nooooooooo!!!!!!!!! Thomas Jefferson, you are an evil, evil gay British cat!

TJ: I'm only HALF British!!!!! Dammit!!!!! Look into my spoon, weakling!!!!

Adam: I mustn't...oh..but it's so...powerful...

Bono: *enters room* Adam, you forgot your- *sees Thomas Jefferson with spoon*

Bono: Don't worry, Adam! I'll save you!

TJ: It's far too late...BONER...

Bono: Oh, that does it! You're goin' down, you gay, half British cat!!!!!

*Bono wrestles with TJ while Adam rigs up a catapult with the giant spoon*

*Bono gets TJ into the spoon, and Adam flings TJ out of the window*

Adam: Oh, Bono! If you hadn't come, I don't know what I would have done...thank you...

Bono: Don't thank me...thank that giant spoon! Ya know, Adam...maybe spoons aren't so bad for you after all...come on...I hear there's a spoon shop down the street...

*Bono & Adam leave the room*

Adam: I wonder where TJ landed...

*Bono & Adam leave the hotel and see Larry flailing wildly on the sidewalk*

Larry: FECK, FECK!!!!! A feckin' cat fell in my cleavage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bono & Adam: BWAAAAAHAAAAAHAAAAA!!!!!!!

~The End~




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The doors you open...I just can't close..."
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Old 03-14-2002, 04:39 PM   #2
 
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OMC!
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Old 03-14-2002, 04:46 PM   #3
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Old 03-14-2002, 04:48 PM   #4
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*impressed
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Old 03-14-2002, 04:55 PM   #5
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OMC, IO is leaking Guacamole!

*gets out toolbelt
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Old 03-14-2002, 05:32 PM   #6
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Gahaha! That was great!
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Old 03-14-2002, 06:00 PM   #7
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I never read stories, they usually are long and____________...this one kicked my dead kitty's butt!!!
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Old 03-14-2002, 06:09 PM   #8
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LMAO! FUNNY STORY!
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Old 03-14-2002, 06:42 PM   #9
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but ......somehow .....intrigued...

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Old 03-14-2002, 07:59 PM   #10
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Thanks, guys! It's my first script...

------------------
"Hallelujah, Heaven's white rose,
The doors you open...I just can't close..."
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Old 03-14-2002, 08:38 PM   #11
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MORE! MORE! MORE!
LMAO
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Old 03-14-2002, 09:36 PM   #12
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lol
very funny Bonochick !
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Old 03-16-2002, 02:03 AM   #13
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Very funny!

Do you really have a gay, half-British cat named Thomas Jefferson?
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Old 03-16-2002, 05:28 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally posted by Giant Lemon:
Very funny!

Do you really have a gay, half-British cat named Thomas Jefferson?
I was wondering the same thing...

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Old 03-16-2002, 11:08 AM   #15
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gay cat ?

*gigle*

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I want to hide
I want to tear down the walls
That hold me inside
I want to reach out
And touch the flame
Where the streets have no name. . .'
.:. U2: Rock's Unbreakable Heart!

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Love is blindness.../A little death/Without mourning/No call/And no warning...

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Old 03-16-2002, 03:02 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally posted by Bonochick:
Yep...





Awwwwwwwwww he's so cute. So tell me, how exactly did you discover that he was gay? I mean did he tell you, or did you just figure it out when he loved Tom and Jerry a little too much


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Old 03-16-2002, 03:40 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally posted by Bonochick:

Adam: *mutters to self* Another night of watching women fawn all over Bono, Edge, and Larry...does nobody love me?

ITS OK ADAM. I LOVE U.


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Old 03-16-2002, 08:45 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally posted by daisybean:

So tell me, how exactly did you discover that he was gay?
Well...he lives with 3 female cats, and he has yet to make an advance on any of them. He's also been seen rolling on/licking pictures of U2.

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Old 03-17-2002, 02:07 AM   #19
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Old 03-17-2002, 02:58 AM   #20
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Quote:
Originally posted by Giant Lemon:

Do you really have a gay, half-British cat named Thomas Jefferson?
Yep...




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The doors you open...I just can't close..."
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