Reggo
Blue Crack Addict
- Joined
- Mar 30, 2007
- Messages
- 26,992
Well, it's Friday. 
What can I say about this chapter?
Maybe give a good listen to "Running To Stand Still" before or as you're reading it. 
"I see Seven Towers, but I only see one way out."
Disclaimer: Not true, never happened, Adam's being harsh, but it's out of love. Sorry it's short.
-----
Driving home from my attorney's office, I feel guilty, but know I've done the right thing. Protecting my innocent daughter from her drug-abusing mother is the most important thing right now, especially with a tour coming up. Do not get me started on the lecture Larry and I received from Paul McGuinness last week for our behaviour. But still, taking Stacie away from Lucy was not something I ever thought I'd have to do. I've hired a nanny for her and they're staying at the Dublin flat. I think I'm going to leave Stacie at Sindy's while I'm on tour, however.
Anyway, I pull into the drive of the London house, and there, draped across my front steps is Lucy, in the same black dress I saw her in at the club. I park the car in the garage, then walk over to her.
"Lucy?" I ask. She looks at me and her eyes have never looked so empty.
"Adam," she whimpers. "It hurts." She pulls her knees to her chest.
"Of course," I say. "Withdrawals hurt. That's what keeps you using."
"Can I see Stacie?"
"No," I say as sharply as I can. "And if you don't leave, I'm calling the police."
"Adam…" she reaches out for me, but I pull my hand away.
"I'm not rescuing you this time, Lucy. I'm too tired of this." And I go in the house. She sits on the steps for an hour before I call the police. She puts up quite the fight, but the cops subdue her and take her away.
At first, I'm well-chuffed with myself. Lucy's going to get off the drugs and learn her lesson, in my head. But the nagging that got to me when I filed the protection order came back, and I needed to make sure she was okay and not scratching her eyeballs out or anything. And when I see her in jail, eyes red, an obviously pounding hangover, yellow skin, fingernails bitten bloody, I feel bad for her.
"Lucy?" I say at the cell door. She looks up at me, then at her feet.
"What do you want?" she asks, not bothering to get up.
"Are you okay?" I ask.
"Oh, I'm just perfect, Adam. Look at what I have going for me. Now, what the fuck do you want?" She snaps.
"I'll get you out. I'll bail you out." She looks up. "But you cannot see Stacie again until you get some sort of rehabilitation. I can't let her see you like this."
"Adam, just fuck off, will you? I don't want to go to rehab. I'd rather die of a drug overdose," she puts her elbows on her knees and her head in her hands.
"Even if you never see your own daughter again?" I had no idea she'd react this way.
"Who knows what other hoops you'll make me jump through? Better she forgets now before she's old enough to remember who I am. And you can go back to your supermodels or whatever it was you dated before me. And you can forget about me, too," I can tell she's trying not to cry.
"Lucy--."
"Adam, just leave. You don't need a Towers girl in your life. You don't need me. Just get out. Just leave, Adam." She starts to cry. "I'm beyond help."
Lucy, stop talking like you're going to kill yourself. But no amount of my insistence would change her mind. "Alright, Lucy. If that's how you feel." She doesn't respond beyond turning away from me and sobbing.
I call Dave when I get home and tell him all of what's gone on since he went back to Los Angeles. It takes me about an hour to get the full story out.
"Jesus, Adam! She's really put you through the wringer," he says.
"Why won't she go to rehab and get off the drugs if she wants to see Stacie so badly? That's all she has to do."
"She's an addict. You know how their brains work. Maybe once they're fully out of her system she'll realise that she wants to see Stacie more than she wants to get high."
"She looked horrid."
"So did you when you first stopped drinking," Dave chuckles. I don't laugh. I'm too worried about Lucy. "Okay. Adam, I'm sure you'll work things out. You love her too much to just leave it like this."
"Yeah."
"I gotta go. Take care, Sparky. Call me if anything changes," Dave hangs up.
Well, a few things did change. A few days before she was released from prison, another restraining order, this one for me, was processed against Lucy. She couldn't come within 50 yards of any of my residences, Stacie, me, or anyone employed by me or the band. I had to do it, but I felt so horrible about it. I even wrote some lyrics. Don't ask. Bono said they were "too dark" for an album. Whatever.
What can I say about this chapter?
Maybe give a good listen to "Running To Stand Still" before or as you're reading it. "I see Seven Towers, but I only see one way out."Disclaimer: Not true, never happened, Adam's being harsh, but it's out of love. Sorry it's short.
-----
Driving home from my attorney's office, I feel guilty, but know I've done the right thing. Protecting my innocent daughter from her drug-abusing mother is the most important thing right now, especially with a tour coming up. Do not get me started on the lecture Larry and I received from Paul McGuinness last week for our behaviour. But still, taking Stacie away from Lucy was not something I ever thought I'd have to do. I've hired a nanny for her and they're staying at the Dublin flat. I think I'm going to leave Stacie at Sindy's while I'm on tour, however.
Anyway, I pull into the drive of the London house, and there, draped across my front steps is Lucy, in the same black dress I saw her in at the club. I park the car in the garage, then walk over to her.
"Lucy?" I ask. She looks at me and her eyes have never looked so empty.
"Adam," she whimpers. "It hurts." She pulls her knees to her chest.
"Of course," I say. "Withdrawals hurt. That's what keeps you using."
"Can I see Stacie?"
"No," I say as sharply as I can. "And if you don't leave, I'm calling the police."
"Adam…" she reaches out for me, but I pull my hand away.
"I'm not rescuing you this time, Lucy. I'm too tired of this." And I go in the house. She sits on the steps for an hour before I call the police. She puts up quite the fight, but the cops subdue her and take her away.
At first, I'm well-chuffed with myself. Lucy's going to get off the drugs and learn her lesson, in my head. But the nagging that got to me when I filed the protection order came back, and I needed to make sure she was okay and not scratching her eyeballs out or anything. And when I see her in jail, eyes red, an obviously pounding hangover, yellow skin, fingernails bitten bloody, I feel bad for her.
"Lucy?" I say at the cell door. She looks up at me, then at her feet.
"What do you want?" she asks, not bothering to get up.
"Are you okay?" I ask.
"Oh, I'm just perfect, Adam. Look at what I have going for me. Now, what the fuck do you want?" She snaps.
"I'll get you out. I'll bail you out." She looks up. "But you cannot see Stacie again until you get some sort of rehabilitation. I can't let her see you like this."
"Adam, just fuck off, will you? I don't want to go to rehab. I'd rather die of a drug overdose," she puts her elbows on her knees and her head in her hands.
"Even if you never see your own daughter again?" I had no idea she'd react this way.
"Who knows what other hoops you'll make me jump through? Better she forgets now before she's old enough to remember who I am. And you can go back to your supermodels or whatever it was you dated before me. And you can forget about me, too," I can tell she's trying not to cry.
"Lucy--."
"Adam, just leave. You don't need a Towers girl in your life. You don't need me. Just get out. Just leave, Adam." She starts to cry. "I'm beyond help."
Lucy, stop talking like you're going to kill yourself. But no amount of my insistence would change her mind. "Alright, Lucy. If that's how you feel." She doesn't respond beyond turning away from me and sobbing.
I call Dave when I get home and tell him all of what's gone on since he went back to Los Angeles. It takes me about an hour to get the full story out.
"Jesus, Adam! She's really put you through the wringer," he says.
"Why won't she go to rehab and get off the drugs if she wants to see Stacie so badly? That's all she has to do."
"She's an addict. You know how their brains work. Maybe once they're fully out of her system she'll realise that she wants to see Stacie more than she wants to get high."
"She looked horrid."
"So did you when you first stopped drinking," Dave chuckles. I don't laugh. I'm too worried about Lucy. "Okay. Adam, I'm sure you'll work things out. You love her too much to just leave it like this."
"Yeah."
"I gotta go. Take care, Sparky. Call me if anything changes," Dave hangs up.
Well, a few things did change. A few days before she was released from prison, another restraining order, this one for me, was processed against Lucy. She couldn't come within 50 yards of any of my residences, Stacie, me, or anyone employed by me or the band. I had to do it, but I felt so horrible about it. I even wrote some lyrics. Don't ask. Bono said they were "too dark" for an album. Whatever.
I love being first 
I've been checking since this morning... ehehe
... 
