Reggo
Blue Crack Addict
- Joined
- Mar 30, 2007
- Messages
- 26,992
Three chapters in one week, you guys should feel privileged, 
and this one's numbered correctly as well! Hope this one is long enough for you 
Alright, standard disclaimer: Not true, never happened, never will, no profit, are all my bases covered? Good.
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I stare at the cross above the door to the chapel. I take a deep breath and hear the familiar screech of our older son, Robert, chasing his younger brother, Patrick. "Boys!" I snap. "What would your father say if he saw you two?"
"Sorry, Mummy," Robert replies, stopping in his tracks. Patrick looks at the floor.
"Now go get baby Jo and Stacie and go sit with Grandpa Brian and be good for him, do you understand?" I stare at my boys.
"Granddad isn't here yet," Robert complains.
"Then go find Morleigh and sit with her. I will not have you two misbehaving today," I point toward the chapel and my sons push their younger sister's pram through the door.
"Mummy?" Stacie asks, not ready to go in the chapel yet.
"Yes, love?" I say, fussing with her hair.
She hesitates, then says, "I love you," hugs my pregnant belly and gets kicked by her fourth sibling. I hug her and she goes in the chapel with her brothers and sister.
I sigh. "I can't delay the inevitable any longer," I whisper. I smooth out a wrinkle in my white dress and lower the veil over my eyes. I look over at Edge, who has sat quietly in the corner the entire time. "Edge?"
"Hmm? Oh, you ready?" He comes out of a daydream. I nod and he stands up, and takes my arm. He opens the doors to the chapel and everyone turns around to look at me. I look toward the altar and start to cry. I never thought this day would come. I lean on Edge a bit as I walk down the aisle and by the time we get to the front row of pews, I'm in tears. I look over at Adam, lying in repose, surrounded by silk and pine.
"No," I moan and walk over to the casket. "Adam, no. You can't be dead. You can't be. Adam, please," I hunch over the casket and sob. "You can't do this, Adam."
"Lucy, honey. It's okay," Larry whispers and strokes my back. I pay no attention. "Lucy, let's go sit down, huh? Please?" He tries to pull me away. "Lucy?"
"No," I whisper.
"Lucy," he raps on the casket with his knuckle. I look up and see the train compartment I was sitting in to go back to Eze and the conductor knocking on the door.
"Cinq minutes jusqu'à Nice," he says and closes the door. I must have dozed off. I sit up and get ready to get off the train. Edge is meeting me at the station. I'm ashamed to see him and the ride to Eze will be uncomfortable.
"Why'd you do it?" Edge asks, a few miles from the train station.
"Sleep with Larry? I don't know. I mean, I love Adam," Edge glances at me, then his eyes go back on the road. "I do. Is being young and stupid a good enough reason?" I chuckle, but Edge's expression doesn't change. "Guess not."
"Everyone's done stupid things at your age. It doesn't excuse your behaviour, but I can understand what it's like to be your age and afraid of, well, life passing you by," Edge says.
I look at my feet. "I never wanted to hurt Adam."
"Then why did you do it?"
"Adam and I are great together everywhere but in the bedroom. It almost always ends badly. I hate to say it, but Larry's just better at it than Adam," I shrug. "It's not that Adam's not affectionate. But Larry gives me something I need that I can't get from Adam."
Edge says nothing till we get to the house. "He's in bed. I think either Morleigh or Bono's with him now." He points up the stairs. I climb them and find Bono sitting on the bed, dabbing Adam's forehead with a washcloth.
"Hello," Bono says softly. "You came quickly."
"I had to," I reply and sit on the opposite side of the bed. "Adam." He's asleep.
"So. How long have you been screwing around with the drummer?" Bono asks, rinsing the washcloth, then putting it back on Adam's head.
I sigh and look at the floor. Okay, facing Bono is worse than facing Edge. I've made the sweetest man in the world angry with me. Fantabulous. I've made my husband who's been sober for nearly 20 years fall off the wagon. What's the matter with me? "Too long. I ended it in Paris, which is why I went there in the first place. I never meant to hurt Adam."
"He thought you went to sleep with Larry," Bono stares at me with piercing blue eyes. Eyes that could see the truth, no matter what lie I tried to come up with.
"Well, when Adam told me he wanted a divorce, I..." I looked away from Bono.
"You what?" Bono practically growled at me. Bono is better at hiding his anger than Edge.
"You know, Bono. You can put it together. I fucked the drummer, okay? I don't even know how I ended up with Adam. I'd been with Larry for ages before I even met him. And then one drunken night and I've married Adam. Or at least I thought we were married. Larry told me the truth. And now we have a baby together. I love Adam dearly. And I wouldn't dream of changing the past four years, but...I was always supposed to be Larry's. He was going to leave Ann to be with me."
Bono snorts at that. "Do you know how many girls just like you he's said that to, only to stay with her because the tour ends or she gets pregnant? Larry doesn't have much respect for Ann, but he does love her."
Thanks, B. Just when I thought I couldn't feel worse. I sigh. "Let me take care of my husband, please. Alone."
"I beg your pardon?" Bono's mouth hangs open.
"I appreciate what you have done. Now, let me take care of him, please. I'm his wife after all," I stare Bono in the eye.
Adam sits up. Who knows how long he's been awake? "Bono."
"Yes?" Bono leans in close.
"Piss off," Adam laughs and Bono stands up and storms out of the house, yelling at Edge and Morleigh simply because Adam had pissed him off.
"That wasn't very nice," I say, dabbing his forehead.
"I don't care," Adam replies.
"We're in full self-destruct mode, aren't we?" I chuckle.
"So what? You don't care what happens to me. You only care how many times Larry can fuck you in one night," Adam lays back down.
"That's a damn lie and you know it. Yes, I fucked up. But guess what? I ended it. I ended it with Larry because I love you. I love you and Stacie and our life together. We may have our issues, love. But I wouldn't trade it for the world," I say, looking into his eyes, which have kind of glazed over.
"Lucy?" Adam blinks and looks back at me. "Piss off."
"What?" I snap.
"Piss off. Fuck off. Get the hell out of me house, you damn whore! Go back to Larry. Spread your legs for him a few times. See how long that lasts. Bono's right. He'll always go back to her," Adam sniggers.
"Adam! I don't care about Larry. Do you think if I did I would've left London the second I heard you relapsed and rushed down here to make sure you were alright? Do you think if I gave a rat's arse about Larry I'd have left the hotel and gone straight home? I love you, you thick bastard."
"Just get out of my sight for a while, okay, Lucy? Don't talk to me, don't phone. I need to figure this shit out without you," Adam lay back down and rolls onto his side, facing away from me.
"Fine," I stood up and walked out of the room. I went downstairs where Ali and Morleigh were having tea in my kitchen and Stacie was in her high chair, snacking on carrots and Cheerios.
"Mummy!" Stacie squeals. I walk over to her and pick her up and hug her.
"I missed you. And if your daddy has his way, I might not see you for a very long time," I whisper. "Tá mé chomh doirte sin duit."
"She's a good baby. Very well-behaved. I wish my boys had been at her age," Ali smiles. I smile back and take her upstairs and pack her things. I go to our bedroom and Adam is awake, laying there, pouting.
"Say good-bye to Daddy, honey," I say, wave her arm for her and walk back downstairs. I hear Adam get out of bed and follow me to the top of the stairs.
"You're taking her?" Adam asks.
"I can't leave her with a drunk," I snap and get my bag, waiting for me by the front door. I open the door and see Edge and Bono sitting on the porch.
"It's over, then?" Bono asks, putting out his cigarillo.
"I was told to get out of his sight and not to contact him. Yes. It's over, B," I say and walk to the car and put Stacie in her car seat. "One of you can pick the car up at the train station later."
"I'm coming with you," Edge stands up and walks over to the car. He lowers his voice. "Adam's upset. So are you. But I know that neither of you really want to do this. Stay. Wait till he gets through this and talk it out with him. He cried for you all night."
"And the second I got here, he told me to leave. What am I supposed to do, Edge?" I ask, looking him in the eye.
"That's just the alcohol talking. Don't listen to it. He's said some pretty vile things to us while he's withdrawn from this before. He's irritable, he wants drink and we won't give it to him. Plus the extra stress on him of what you've done," Edge shrugs. "It's understandable, how he's acting."
"I can't do it, Edge. I just can't," I say and get in the car without him. Bono stares at me, dumbfounded, as I pull out of the drive and leave for the train station.
and this one's numbered correctly as well! Hope this one is long enough for you Alright, standard disclaimer: Not true, never happened, never will, no profit, are all my bases covered? Good.
-----
I stare at the cross above the door to the chapel. I take a deep breath and hear the familiar screech of our older son, Robert, chasing his younger brother, Patrick. "Boys!" I snap. "What would your father say if he saw you two?"
"Sorry, Mummy," Robert replies, stopping in his tracks. Patrick looks at the floor.
"Now go get baby Jo and Stacie and go sit with Grandpa Brian and be good for him, do you understand?" I stare at my boys.
"Granddad isn't here yet," Robert complains.
"Then go find Morleigh and sit with her. I will not have you two misbehaving today," I point toward the chapel and my sons push their younger sister's pram through the door.
"Mummy?" Stacie asks, not ready to go in the chapel yet.
"Yes, love?" I say, fussing with her hair.
She hesitates, then says, "I love you," hugs my pregnant belly and gets kicked by her fourth sibling. I hug her and she goes in the chapel with her brothers and sister.
I sigh. "I can't delay the inevitable any longer," I whisper. I smooth out a wrinkle in my white dress and lower the veil over my eyes. I look over at Edge, who has sat quietly in the corner the entire time. "Edge?"
"Hmm? Oh, you ready?" He comes out of a daydream. I nod and he stands up, and takes my arm. He opens the doors to the chapel and everyone turns around to look at me. I look toward the altar and start to cry. I never thought this day would come. I lean on Edge a bit as I walk down the aisle and by the time we get to the front row of pews, I'm in tears. I look over at Adam, lying in repose, surrounded by silk and pine.
"No," I moan and walk over to the casket. "Adam, no. You can't be dead. You can't be. Adam, please," I hunch over the casket and sob. "You can't do this, Adam."
"Lucy, honey. It's okay," Larry whispers and strokes my back. I pay no attention. "Lucy, let's go sit down, huh? Please?" He tries to pull me away. "Lucy?"
"No," I whisper.
"Lucy," he raps on the casket with his knuckle. I look up and see the train compartment I was sitting in to go back to Eze and the conductor knocking on the door.
"Cinq minutes jusqu'à Nice," he says and closes the door. I must have dozed off. I sit up and get ready to get off the train. Edge is meeting me at the station. I'm ashamed to see him and the ride to Eze will be uncomfortable.
"Why'd you do it?" Edge asks, a few miles from the train station.
"Sleep with Larry? I don't know. I mean, I love Adam," Edge glances at me, then his eyes go back on the road. "I do. Is being young and stupid a good enough reason?" I chuckle, but Edge's expression doesn't change. "Guess not."
"Everyone's done stupid things at your age. It doesn't excuse your behaviour, but I can understand what it's like to be your age and afraid of, well, life passing you by," Edge says.
I look at my feet. "I never wanted to hurt Adam."
"Then why did you do it?"
"Adam and I are great together everywhere but in the bedroom. It almost always ends badly. I hate to say it, but Larry's just better at it than Adam," I shrug. "It's not that Adam's not affectionate. But Larry gives me something I need that I can't get from Adam."
Edge says nothing till we get to the house. "He's in bed. I think either Morleigh or Bono's with him now." He points up the stairs. I climb them and find Bono sitting on the bed, dabbing Adam's forehead with a washcloth.
"Hello," Bono says softly. "You came quickly."
"I had to," I reply and sit on the opposite side of the bed. "Adam." He's asleep.
"So. How long have you been screwing around with the drummer?" Bono asks, rinsing the washcloth, then putting it back on Adam's head.
I sigh and look at the floor. Okay, facing Bono is worse than facing Edge. I've made the sweetest man in the world angry with me. Fantabulous. I've made my husband who's been sober for nearly 20 years fall off the wagon. What's the matter with me? "Too long. I ended it in Paris, which is why I went there in the first place. I never meant to hurt Adam."
"He thought you went to sleep with Larry," Bono stares at me with piercing blue eyes. Eyes that could see the truth, no matter what lie I tried to come up with.
"Well, when Adam told me he wanted a divorce, I..." I looked away from Bono.
"You what?" Bono practically growled at me. Bono is better at hiding his anger than Edge.
"You know, Bono. You can put it together. I fucked the drummer, okay? I don't even know how I ended up with Adam. I'd been with Larry for ages before I even met him. And then one drunken night and I've married Adam. Or at least I thought we were married. Larry told me the truth. And now we have a baby together. I love Adam dearly. And I wouldn't dream of changing the past four years, but...I was always supposed to be Larry's. He was going to leave Ann to be with me."
Bono snorts at that. "Do you know how many girls just like you he's said that to, only to stay with her because the tour ends or she gets pregnant? Larry doesn't have much respect for Ann, but he does love her."
Thanks, B. Just when I thought I couldn't feel worse. I sigh. "Let me take care of my husband, please. Alone."
"I beg your pardon?" Bono's mouth hangs open.
"I appreciate what you have done. Now, let me take care of him, please. I'm his wife after all," I stare Bono in the eye.
Adam sits up. Who knows how long he's been awake? "Bono."
"Yes?" Bono leans in close.
"Piss off," Adam laughs and Bono stands up and storms out of the house, yelling at Edge and Morleigh simply because Adam had pissed him off.
"That wasn't very nice," I say, dabbing his forehead.
"I don't care," Adam replies.
"We're in full self-destruct mode, aren't we?" I chuckle.
"So what? You don't care what happens to me. You only care how many times Larry can fuck you in one night," Adam lays back down.
"That's a damn lie and you know it. Yes, I fucked up. But guess what? I ended it. I ended it with Larry because I love you. I love you and Stacie and our life together. We may have our issues, love. But I wouldn't trade it for the world," I say, looking into his eyes, which have kind of glazed over.
"Lucy?" Adam blinks and looks back at me. "Piss off."
"What?" I snap.
"Piss off. Fuck off. Get the hell out of me house, you damn whore! Go back to Larry. Spread your legs for him a few times. See how long that lasts. Bono's right. He'll always go back to her," Adam sniggers.
"Adam! I don't care about Larry. Do you think if I did I would've left London the second I heard you relapsed and rushed down here to make sure you were alright? Do you think if I gave a rat's arse about Larry I'd have left the hotel and gone straight home? I love you, you thick bastard."
"Just get out of my sight for a while, okay, Lucy? Don't talk to me, don't phone. I need to figure this shit out without you," Adam lay back down and rolls onto his side, facing away from me.
"Fine," I stood up and walked out of the room. I went downstairs where Ali and Morleigh were having tea in my kitchen and Stacie was in her high chair, snacking on carrots and Cheerios.
"Mummy!" Stacie squeals. I walk over to her and pick her up and hug her.
"I missed you. And if your daddy has his way, I might not see you for a very long time," I whisper. "Tá mé chomh doirte sin duit."
"She's a good baby. Very well-behaved. I wish my boys had been at her age," Ali smiles. I smile back and take her upstairs and pack her things. I go to our bedroom and Adam is awake, laying there, pouting.
"Say good-bye to Daddy, honey," I say, wave her arm for her and walk back downstairs. I hear Adam get out of bed and follow me to the top of the stairs.
"You're taking her?" Adam asks.
"I can't leave her with a drunk," I snap and get my bag, waiting for me by the front door. I open the door and see Edge and Bono sitting on the porch.
"It's over, then?" Bono asks, putting out his cigarillo.
"I was told to get out of his sight and not to contact him. Yes. It's over, B," I say and walk to the car and put Stacie in her car seat. "One of you can pick the car up at the train station later."
"I'm coming with you," Edge stands up and walks over to the car. He lowers his voice. "Adam's upset. So are you. But I know that neither of you really want to do this. Stay. Wait till he gets through this and talk it out with him. He cried for you all night."
"And the second I got here, he told me to leave. What am I supposed to do, Edge?" I ask, looking him in the eye.
"That's just the alcohol talking. Don't listen to it. He's said some pretty vile things to us while he's withdrawn from this before. He's irritable, he wants drink and we won't give it to him. Plus the extra stress on him of what you've done," Edge shrugs. "It's understandable, how he's acting."
"I can't do it, Edge. I just can't," I say and get in the car without him. Bono stares at me, dumbfounded, as I pull out of the drive and leave for the train station.
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