Achtung, Babies! It's the ScottPhisto Society!

[Echo]

As Dictator for Life and Pimpstress, I hereby call this meeting of the ScottPhisto Society to order. ScottPhisto will be returning from his vacation any minute now, and I want this thread to be ready and waiting for him.

ROLL CALL!!! Everyone needs to sign in:

ScottPhisto
Man-Slut
Brian Eno Wrangler

Mona
Secretary of Scandalization
Echo's Pimpstress Protege

Bluey
Drunk and Slutty Bridesmaid

Fishy
Spelling Nazi

Bona
Blonde Inspector

Ana
Wardrobe Technician

Discoteque
Resident Hanger-Onner

Mullen-Girl
ScottPhisto's Personal Chef

Hippy Actress
Executive officer of Candy Distribution

Izzybeth
Perpetual Newbie

Julie
ScottPhisto's Shampoo Girl

SpinningHead
Dog Walker

WildHoneyAlways
To be announced

The following positions *snerk* are still open. Anyone can apply, and you can hold more than one title if you feel up to it:

-ScottPhisto Vending Machine Maintenance
-Official Utterer of Non-Sequiturs (Yes, I know we ALL are, but we need an OFFICIAL one if we want the income tax deduction)
-That chick you always see in movies whose sole job it is to fan ScottPhisto with a palm branch
-Ambassador to Guam
-The angsty Morrissey-esque teenager who writes bad poetry
-ScottPhisto's Loo Cleaner

On the itinerary for this meeting:

1) ScottPhisto needs to bestow a title on WildHoneyAlways. As some of you may recall, she requested a position as ScottPhisto's make-up artist but I felt we already had a surplus of Groomers, so it's up to ScottPhisto to make a decision about her status.

2) ScottPhisto will regale us with tales of his Christmas trip to his home state of California

3) ScottPhisto will bless us with his profound and thought-provoking prose

4) The rest of us will run around madly and adore our Man-Slut, stopping for occasional breaks to watch the Cartoon Network and speculate whether ScottPhisto wears boxers or briefs

5) Somebody needs to beat Brian Eno with a broken car antenna.

That last one doesnt have anything to do with the ScottPhisto Society, necessarily, I'm just saying: Somebody needs to beat Brian Eno with a broken car antenna. (Those of you who just got your copies of the Flanagan Bible for Christmas, turn to page 196, where Mr. Ambience himself praises the sonic glory of a completely blank 24-track reel.)

Let the chaos commence!

------------------
*Echo the Pimpstress* ... Proud Owner of Animatronic Edge!

Hell hath no fury like the vast robot army of a woman scorned.

"Now you stop all this naked foolishness and go outside!
It's too nice a day to be stupid indoors!" - Ren Hoek

Bono-Man! An Epic Superhero Adventure!

The Official PLEBA Glossary: Delicious AND Nutritious!

 

[blueeyes]

here
drunk
slutty

 

[FishNeedsABicycle]

speel chek...brokin...must...fynd...help...

*coolapses safely insid the SS*

Feeshy
Speeling Natsi

------------------
It's fascinating to think that all around us there's an invisible world we can't even see. I'm speaking, of course, of the World of the Invisible Scary Skeletons.

 

[spinninghead77]

DogWalker reporting for duty!!!

*Puts leash around Bono's neck, and takes him outside for a little run around town*

(Bono the dog, not Bono the man)

 

[Echo]

Originally posted by spinninghead77:
DogWalker reporting for duty!!!

*Puts leash around Bono's neck, and takes him outside for a little run around town*

(Bono the dog, not Bono the man)

You're setting your standards too low.

------------------
*Echo the Pimpstress* ... Proud Owner of Animatronic Edge!

Hell hath no fury like the vast robot army of a woman scorned.

"Now you stop all this naked foolishness and go outside!
It's too nice a day to be stupid indoors!" - Ren Hoek

Bono-Man! An Epic Superhero Adventure!

The Official PLEBA Glossary: Delicious AND Nutritious!

 

[spinninghead77]

Originally posted by Echo:

naked Bono

*Faints and completely misses all happenings in the ScottPhisto Society*

 

[WildHoneyAlways]

*squeal* I am waiting with bated breath for ScottPhisto's return to Pleba!

 

[MissVelvetDress_75]

Originally posted by Echo:


The following positions *snerk* are still open. Anyone can apply, and you can hold more than one title if you feel up to it:

-ScottPhisto Vending Machine Maintenance

well, I am applying for this job. since I in Real Life I am service consultant for retirement plans, I figure that I can be a ScottPhisto vending machine maintenance lady.

 

[izzybeth]

Perpetual Newbie here, car antenna at the ready.

:: drags out her extensive MST3K library ::

Yeah, you just try to turn up that hiss, Eno.....

izzy ("the monkeys and the monkeys" -Michael Stipe)

------------------
you are allowed to shoot me if my sig gets over five lines.
Perpetual Newbie in the ScottPhisto Society
"I invented cool. And you're on a boat with me." -Larry Mullen, Jr. (at Sellafield)
"Some artists become dull when they stop drinking or drugging, but Adam's not one of them. He's his old self. He loses none of his rubber-band-shooting,water-gun-squirting, public-disrobing spirit when he doesn't drink." - Bono

 

[Echo]

Originally posted by MissVelvetDress_75:
well, I am applying for this job. since I in Real Life I am service consultant for retirement plans, I figure that I can be a ScottPhisto vending machine maintenance lady.

Done and done.

Hope you understand what you're in for. These machines jam up a LOT. Crazy girls trying to get two or three ScottPhistos at a time...

------------------
*Echo the Pimpstress* ... Proud Owner of Animatronic Edge!

Hell hath no fury like the vast robot army of a woman scorned.

"Now you stop all this naked foolishness and go outside!
It's too nice a day to be stupid indoors!" - Ren Hoek

Bono-Man! An Epic Superhero Adventure!

The Official PLEBA Glossary: Delicious AND Nutritious!

 

[WildHonee]

Originally posted by Echo:
Done and done.

Hope you understand what you're in for. These machines jam up a LOT. Crazy girls trying to get two or three ScottPhistos at a time...

*deer in headlights*

WHAT?

*drops nickels* Hey where'd that sack of coins come from? I DON'T KNOW. *runs*

------------------
~*Mona*~ Secretary of Scandalization
97% compatible with Bono

"Bono was embraced as rock's latest mystic leader, a sort of holy cross between the Morrisons, Jim and Van"

"There were moments when Bono even earned cheers for simply loosening his shirt"

"Listen....I could be a genius if I weren't so lazy"

 

[hippy]

Anybody want some candy?

*After fulfilling her duties...hippy returns to the upstairs vending machine where she plugs in another 65 cents and awaits a ScottPhisto*

------------------
"A Bono approved event is a good event!"

You can dream, so dream out loud!

"The way to be optimistic is not to shut your eyes and close your ears." -Bono

Create Light, Create Unity, Create Joy, CREATE PEACE!

 

[Echo]

*strums guitar and croons*

Where are you tonight, ScottPhisto?
It's so lonely here without you
I have only my memories of you to comfort me
Oh, and my back issues of TAMALE magazine...


------------------
*Echo the Pimpstress* ... Proud Owner of Animatronic Edge!

Hell hath no fury like the vast robot army of a woman scorned.

"Now you stop all this naked foolishness and go outside!
It's too nice a day to be stupid indoors!" - Ren Hoek

Bono-Man! An Epic Superhero Adventure!

The Official PLEBA Glossary: Delicious AND Nutritious!

 

[WildHonee]

I lost place of my broken car antennae.

All I have is this baseball bat.

O WAIT!!!!!

heheh

*puts out the Jello and Kool-Aid*

*Fed Ex*

------------------
~*Mona*~ Secretary of Scandalization
97% compatible with Bono

"Bono was embraced as rock's latest mystic leader, a sort of holy cross between the Morrisons, Jim and Van"

"There were moments when Bono even earned cheers for simply loosening his shirt"

"Listen....I could be a genius if I weren't so lazy"

 

[WildHonee]

Ggrrr all of Mona's alter egos are here.....Phona's raping a wall or something. Don't ask.

Hey can we watch MST3K, too?
------------------
~*Mona*~ Secretary of Scandalization
97% compatible with Bono

"Bono was embraced as rock's latest mystic leader, a sort of holy cross between the Morrisons, Jim and Van"

"There were moments when Bono even earned cheers for simply loosening his shirt"

"Listen....I could be a genius if I weren't so lazy"

[This message has been edited by WildHonee (edited 12-28-2001).]

 

[Echo]

Originally posted by WildHonee:
Phona's raping a wall or something. Don't ask.

*shakes head*

I knew I shouldn't have commissioned that naked Bono mural...


------------------
*Echo the Pimpstress* ... Proud Owner of Animatronic Edge!

Hell hath no fury like the vast robot army of a woman scorned.

"Now you stop all this naked foolishness and go outside!
It's too nice a day to be stupid indoors!" - Ren Hoek

Bono-Man! An Epic Superhero Adventure!

The Official PLEBA Glossary: Delicious AND Nutritious!

 

[zooropamanda]

what's with all this raping business?

scary

 

[WildHonee]

Waitaminute wasn't he comin back the 29th? So he should be back some time today.

*wait*

The tamale I made for ScottPhisto is getting all cold and eaten.

------------------
~*Mona*~ Secretary of Scandalization
97% compatible with Bono

"Bono was embraced as rock's latest mystic leader, a sort of holy cross between the Morrisons, Jim and Van"

"There were moments when Bono even earned cheers for simply loosening his shirt"

"Listen....I could be a genius if I weren't so lazy"

 

[Echo]

Originally posted by WildHonee:
Waitaminute wasn't he comin back the 29th? So he should be back some time today.

It's true...*checks watch* He was supposed to get a Welcome-Back-Defiling long ago....



------------------
*Echo the Pimpstress* ... Proud Owner of Animatronic Edge!

Hell hath no fury like the vast robot army of a woman scorned.

"Now you stop all this naked foolishness and go outside!
It's too nice a day to be stupid indoors!" - Ren Hoek

Bono-Man! An Epic Superhero Adventure!

The Official PLEBA Glossary: Delicious AND Nutritious!

 

[blueeyes]

I say we send out a search party of fem-bots for him...

Someone should photoshop Scottphisto's head onto Austin's body for that....

-Bluey (drunk and slutty bridesmaid)

 

[WildHonee]

LMAO Bluey!

My, those are large pom poms.

Er...

------------------
~*Mona*~ Secretary of Scandalization
97% compatible with Bono

"Bono was embraced as rock's latest mystic leader, a sort of holy cross between the Morrisons, Jim and Van"

"I used to gaze out my classroom window and dream And then go home and listen to Ray sing "I believe to my soul" after school" ~Van Morrison~

 

[MissVelvetDress_75]

Originally posted by Echo:
Done and done.

Hope you understand what you're in for. These machines jam up a LOT. Crazy girls trying to get two or three ScottPhistos at a time...

oh, I am always up for a challenge!

 

[Echo]

Man, I'm starting to feel like the guy who goes to the restaurant and puts the sweater on the back of the chair and insists that his date will be back from the bathroom any minute now.

SCOTTPHISTO WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!

------------------
*Echo the Pimpstress* ... Proud Owner of Animatronic Edge!

Hell hath no fury like the vast robot army of a woman scorned.

"Now you stop all this naked foolishness and go outside!
It's too nice a day to be stupid indoors!" - Ren Hoek

Bono-Man! An Epic Superhero Adventure!

The Official PLEBA Glossary: Delicious AND Nutritious!

 

[hippy]

Originally posted by Echo:
It's true...*checks watch* He was supposed to get a Welcome-Back-Defiling long ago....

LMAO!!!!! And he still hasn't shown up! Does he know what he's missing?



------------------
"A Bono approved event is a good event!"

You can dream, so dream out loud!

"The way to be optimistic is not to shut your eyes and close your ears." -Bono

Create Light, Create Unity, Create Joy, CREATE PEACE!

 

[blueeyes]

*Bluey looks at her watch and picks wedding cake out of her hair*
Well, it's getting late and hey...I'm drunk so...in order to live up to my title, I'm gonna pick someone up and get going. *she stumbles to her feet and wanders around the room looking for someone to go be slutty with*....

 

[Scottphisto]

*All is quiet in the streets. Suddenly, the ground begins to quake. The pavement cracks. As the ground opens up, a deafening roar can be heard for miles. Creatures great and small scurry for safety. A blast of fire erupts from underground, as Scottphisto slowly rises from the depths. Looking around at the world he left, he smiles. It's good to be back.*

I'M BAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!

FREE SCOTTPHISTO'S ALL AROUND!!!

How was everyone's X-Mas? Mine was superkeen! I gots lotsa stuff. YAY!!

I missed my girls! How is everyone?? Didja miss me? Feel free to shower me with affection and scandalizations!!!

I am home. Mwah ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!

------------------
ScottPhisto
The Man-Slut of PLEBA
Only $0.65 each!!!

Card carrying member of Echo's Boy Cleaning Service.

Scottphisto vending machines. Now everywhere inside the famous PLEBA Mansion, fullfilling all your Scottphisto needs!

"I'm not wearing any underwear! Now gimmie a cookie!!" -Unknown
Is this love? Or is it just rough sex with Michael Douglas?
EAT ME!! I'M A SPEACIALTY BREAD!!

 

[WildHoneyAlways]

YEAH!!! ScottPhisto is back! We have missed you! You've been gone so long the vending machines are running a little low. When do we get down to business?

 

[Scottphisto]

THE FURTHER ADVENTURES OF SCOTTPHISTO

*The bar was filled with smoke. Most of the patrons were passed out or on their way. Outside, the wind howled like an angry beast.*
*A large man, wearing a red bandanna and a shirt that said "Eat Me", stood up from the bar, wobbled, then caught his balance. He eyed the bartender.*
MAN: Where the hellsh all the whishkey?
BARTENDER: We're all out. I-I'm sorry..
MAN: *Grabs Bartender by his shirt collar*ALL OUT!? Well where the helldiddit go?!
BARTENDER: *Points to a dark figure in the corner* H-he just bought it all...been drinking nothing but whiskey!
MAN: *Drops Bartender* We'll see about that...
*The big man walks over to the dark corner, right up to the man sitting alone. He leans in close.*
MAN: Hey pal, why dontcha leave some drink fer the rest of us?
*The figure says nothing*
MAN: Hey, dickhead! I'm talkin' to ya! And when Big Clem talks, people listen!
FIGURE: *Not moving*[/b/] I'm sorry "Big Clem." I was too stunned by your stink to talk.
BIG CLEM: Now listen here, little man, I don't know who you are, but this is MY whiskey. Everyone knows not to drink this unlessh I say. Now, I think you've got some apologizin' to do. Not to mention, I think you owe me a bottle o' drink.
FIGURE: Is that so?
BIG CLEM: Yeah, that's so. *Grabs empty beer bottle and smashes the end of it. He holds it to the figures neck* What's yer opinion?
FIGURE: *Sigh* I see your "point." However, allow my to voice my opinion.
*With speed that almost defies perception, the dark figure grabs Big Clem's hand, turns his arm behind Clem's back, and rams the broken bottle into his spine. Big Clem screams and collapses, his spinal cord severed.*
*The figure removes his hat, revealing two black horns atop his head. He casually scratches his head, and puts the hat back on. He steps over the fallen man, grabs his shotglass, and downs the last bit of whiskey. Then, putting on his trenchcoat, he looks down at Big Clem*
FIGURE: And the name is Scottphisto, asshole.
*Scottphisto looks at the bartender, who instantly feels warm liquid running down his pant leg. Scottphisto pulls out three fifty dollar bills. He tosses them on the bar.*
SCOTTPHISTO: Thanks for the drinks. Get yourself some new pants too.
*As the rest of the patrons watch in awe and fear, Scottphisto slowly walks out of the bar, into the dark night.*

 

[Scottphisto]

Originally posted by Echo:
On the itinerary for this meeting:

1) ScottPhisto needs to bestow a title on WildHoneyAlways. As some of you may recall, she requested a position as ScottPhisto's make-up artist but I felt we already had a surplus of Groomers, so it's up to ScottPhisto to make a decision about her status.

Hmm...you want me to come up with a POSITION for a GIRL?!?!?

How...dangerous...for her.

Well, there's a rule I live by: One can never have too many female groomers. So, make up artist is fine by me. Oh, but I don't just wear make up on my face...

2) ScottPhisto will regale us with tales of his Christmas trip to his home state of California

Well, I went to California. For Christmas.

3) ScottPhisto will bless us with his profound and thought-provoking prose

Uh.......LOOK! CHICKENS!!

4) The rest of us will run around madly and adore our Man-Slut, stopping for occasional breaks to watch the Cartoon Network and speculate whether ScottPhisto wears boxers or briefs

Adore away!
And just so you know, I go commando. HOO AH!!

5) Somebody needs to beat Brian Eno with a broken car antenna.

*WHACK WHACK WHACK!!!!*

Ahh...now to tend to that pesky Eno...


------------------
ScottPhisto
The Man-Slut of PLEBA
Only $0.65 each!!!

Card carrying member of Echo's Boy Cleaning Service.

Scottphisto vending machines. Now everywhere inside the famous PLEBA Mansion, fullfilling all your Scottphisto needs!

"I'm not wearing any underwear! Now gimmie a cookie!!" -Unknown
Is this love? Or is it just rough sex with Michael Douglas?
EAT ME!! I'M A SPEACIALTY BREAD!!

 

[Scottphisto]

Originally posted by blueeyes:
here
drunk
slutty

Here.
Drunk.
Man-slutty.
*giggle*