60 Things NOT to Say to a Naked Man! - U2 Feedback

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Old 11-18-2001, 05:29 PM   #1
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60 Things NOT to Say to a Naked Man!

Hee hee....Yes I realize this may have already been posted(searched, didnt find it), and yes i realize that this should be in Lemonade Stand, but PLEBA is where all the girls are, so i figured it fits in well here! Hope you find it amusing!

(thanks Lazyboy! )
60 Things Not to Say to a Naked Guy
> >
1. I've smoked fatter joints than that.
2. Ahh, it's cute.
3. Who circumcised you?
4. Why don't we just cuddle?
5. You know they have surgery to fix that.
6. It's more fun to look at.
7. Make it dance.
8. You know, there's a tower in Italy like that.
9. Can I paint a smiley face on that?
10. It looks like a night crawler.
11. Wow, and your feet are so big.
12. My last boyfriend was 4'' bigger.
13. It's ok, we'll work around it.
14. Is this a mild or a spicy Slim Jim?
15. Eww, there's an inch worm on your thigh.
16. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
17. Oh no, a flash headache.
18. (giggle and point)
19. Can I be honest with you?
20. My 8-year-old brother has one like that.
21. Let me go get my tweezers.
22. How sweet, you brought incense.
23. This explains your car.
24. You must be a growing boy.
25. Maybe if we water it, it'll grow.
26. Thanks, I needed a toothpick.
27. Are you one of those pygmies?
28. Have you ever thought of working in a sideshow?
29. Every heard of clearasil?
30. All right, a treasure hunt!
31. I didn't know they came that small.
32. Why is God punishing you?
33. At least this won't take long.
34. I never saw one like that before.
35. What do you call this?
36. But it still works, right?
37. Damn, I hate baby-sitting.
38. It looks so unused.
39. Do you take steroids?
40. I hear excessive masturbation shrinks it.
41. Maybe it looks better in natural light.
42. Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?
43. Oh, I didn't know you were in an accident.
44. Did you date Lorena Bobbitt?
45. Aww, it's hiding.
46. Are you cold?
47. If you get me real drunk first.
48. Is that an optical illusion?
49. What is that?
50. I'll go get the ketchup for your french fry.
51. Were you neutered?
52. It's a good thing you have so many other talents.
53. Does it come with an air pump?
54. So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality.
55. Where are the puppet strings?
56. Your big gun is more like a BB gun.
57. Look, it fits my Barbie clothes.
58. Never mind, why bother.
59. Is that a second belly button?
60. Where's the rest of it?


------------------
Look...look what you've done to me...You've made me poor and infamous, and I thank you...

My name is MISS MACPHISTO...I'm tired and i want to go HOME...

"Well you tell...Bonovista,that i said hello and that my codename is Belleview" - Bono before opening night of Anaheim Elevation concert


[This message has been edited by Miss MacPhisto (edited 11-18-2001).]
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Old 11-18-2001, 05:36 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally posted by Miss MacPhisto:
26. Thanks, I needed a toothpick.
I don't even think I would mind this one as long as she is willing to put her money where her mouth is.
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Old 11-18-2001, 07:33 PM   #3
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Rock on Dr. Teeth. Tell us how you really feel...

------------------
And I have no religion
And I don't know what's what
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Old 11-18-2001, 09:34 PM   #4
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*is sufficiently scandalized* Youse guys, hide this from ScottPhisto...*bluuuuuuuusssssshhhhh*

------------------
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Love me, give me soul.

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Old 11-18-2001, 11:47 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally posted by WildHonee:
*is sufficiently scandalized* Youse guys, hide this from ScottPhisto...*bluuuuuuuusssssshhhhh*


O_O

TOO LATE!!!

ACK!!!

OOH!! Can I add one??

"It just looks so weird...."

*wink*

------------------
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70% water, 30% Chocolatey Goodness!!

[This message has been edited by Scottphisto (edited 11-18-2001).]
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Old 11-19-2001, 12:42 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally posted by Scottphisto:


OOH!! Can I add one??

"It just looks so weird...."

*wink*

ScottPhisto just hasn't been the same since the incident with the yams and the left-handed scissors.

Not that I had anything to do with it.


------------------
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"Romance is dead. Turns out all this time someone had just put sunglasses
on it and propped it up in a chair." -James "Kibo" Parry

"Are you implying that I'm an internet slut?" -Bono


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Old 11-19-2001, 12:46 AM   #7
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Okay I have some to add:

61. Hmm...It looked a lot bigger on the Achtung Baby cover...

62. Go on, ask who wants your meat.

63. Hmm...I guess all those years of wearing tight leather pants weren't kind, were they?

64. That'll NEVER get you into an Elevated thread.


------------------
*Echo* The Proud Owner of Animatronic Edge!

"Romance is dead. Turns out all this time someone had just put sunglasses
on it and propped it up in a chair." -James "Kibo" Parry

"Are you implying that I'm an internet slut?" -Bono


Bono-Man! An Epic Superhero Adventure http://www.geocities.com/bonogoestovegas

The Official PLEBA Glossary: Replacing Crippling Confusion With Mere Disorientation!
http://www.vodkatea.com/g/glossary.asp?gid=165
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Old 11-19-2001, 10:16 AM   #8
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8. You know, there's a tower in Italy like that.

...ihihih...this one aptured my attention...if I think that THAT tower it's here in Italy...

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Old 11-19-2001, 10:21 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally posted by Echo:
Okay I have some to add:

61. Hmm...It looked a lot bigger on the Achtung Baby cover...

62. Go on, ask who wants your meat.

63. Hmm...I guess all those years of wearing tight leather pants weren't kind, were they?

64. That'll NEVER get you into an Elevated thread.


65. That's not worth sixteen pages on PLEBA!

------------------
Jessica

"Rock and roll doggie"
--Bono

"I'm very secure with the fact that I'm not black. I'm white, pink and rosy. But I've got soul."
--Bono

“We make music you can have sex to.”
--Bono

“Never trust a man who tells you it's from the heart, never trust a man smoking a cigar, never trust a cowboy or a man who wears shades.”
--Bono

[This message has been edited by JessicaAnn (edited 11-19-2001).]
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Old 11-19-2001, 11:26 AM   #10
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lol, echo and jessicaann for PLEBAizing the list!

------------------
"You can download an atmosphere and dial up a groove, but there's a certain magic when three musicians and a dyslexic get together and play in a room." -Bono

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Old 11-19-2001, 11:33 AM   #11
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ok ok I have some:

66. I've seen tamales bigger than that one
67. Awww what a cute little drumstick
68. Did a worm get stuck in your pants



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*Larry smiles and says "Thank you that's very nice of you"*
*Larry signs paper, shakes MG's hand*
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Old 11-19-2001, 01:09 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally posted by Mullen-Girl:
ok ok I have some:

66. I've seen tamales bigger than that one


LMAO ... You're so funny MG.



------------------
Jessica

"Rock and roll doggie"
--Bono

"I'm very secure with the fact that I'm not black. I'm white, pink and rosy. But I've got soul."
--Bono

“We make music you can have sex to.”
--Bono

“Never trust a man who tells you it's from the heart, never trust a man smoking a cigar, never trust a cowboy or a man who wears shades.”
--Bono
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Old 11-19-2001, 01:23 PM   #13
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Quote:

3. Who circumcised you?
O_O!!!


Missed that one earlier.

OW.
------------------
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70% water, 30% Chocolatey Goodness!!

[This message has been edited by Scottphisto (edited 11-19-2001).]
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Old 11-19-2001, 03:44 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally posted by Miss MacPhisto:

7. Make it dance.

9. Can I paint a smiley face on that?

16. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?

18. (giggle and point)

49. What is that?

57. Look, it fits my Barbie clothes.

lol!!! i'd be the one in #9, sadly enough.

and, does the comment in #20 scare anyone else??


------------------
~MoonPhisto*

"A man dreams one day to fly
A man takes a rocket ship to the skies
He lives on a star that's dying in the night
And follows in the trail, the scatter of the light"
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Old 11-19-2001, 07:03 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally posted by FallDownJulie:

lol!!! i'd be the one in #9, sadly enough.

and, does the comment in #20 scare anyone else??



Man, they ALL scare me. But, hey, maybe I'm just partial to my...er, spoons.

Yeah.

Spoons.




------------------
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Old 11-19-2001, 10:35 PM   #16
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there should be a MATURE rating on this thred.
oh by the way doesent the lemon look like a nice firm boob.

------------------
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Old 11-19-2001, 10:36 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally posted by shaun vox:
there should be a MATURE rating on this thred.
oh by the way doesent the lemon look like a nice firm boob.

I dont see anything mature in what you just said.





------------------
*Echo* The Proud Owner of Animatronic Edge!

"Romance is dead. Turns out all this time someone had just put sunglasses
on it and propped it up in a chair." -James "Kibo" Parry

"Are you implying that I'm an internet slut?" -Bono


Bono-Man! An Epic Superhero Adventure http://www.geocities.com/bonogoestovegas

The Official PLEBA Glossary: Replacing Crippling Confusion With Mere Disorientation!
http://www.vodkatea.com/g/glossary.asp?gid=165
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Old 11-20-2001, 02:52 AM   #18
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LMAO at the meat and tamales

------------------
~*Mona*~
97% compatible with Bono

Love me, give me soul.

You want to be the song
Be the song that you hear in your head
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Old 11-24-2001, 04:27 PM   #19
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Oh, the guys in chat are having an argument over the size of their, um, Adams.
I'm bumping this in their honor!

------------------
Look...look what you've done to me...You've made me poor and infamous, and I thank you...

My name is MISS MACPHISTO...I'm tired and i want to go HOME...

"Well you tell...Bonovista,that i said hello and that my codename is Belleview" - Bono before opening night of Anaheim Elevation concert
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Old 11-24-2001, 07:17 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally posted by Miss MacPhisto:
Oh, the guys in chat are having an argument over the size of their, um, Adams.
I'm bumping this in their honor!

Well, I did say I'd bump it up for ya Miss, the thread that is!

This place is evil though, eeeeeeeeeevil I tell ya!
And Arun hasn't got a LEG to stand on with his claims

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