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Old 11-12-2004, 08:32 PM   #1
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12 Steps of Bonotheism

Souly showed me a link to this site...this was too funny to kep to myself:


12 STEPS of BONOTHEISM


ONE We admit we are powerless over the seduction of Bono - that our lives have become unmanageable because of the voice, the lyrics, and his worldly presence. Besides those damn leather pants, blue eyes, and fly shades, can I just say GA? My addiction will never be the same again...


TWO We have come to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity and he sings about Mysterious Ways, Streets with No Names, Angels in Harlem, and how there needs to be Peace On Earth.


THREE We Make a decision to turn our will and our lives over to his care and we understand him in all of his forms: The Mirrorball Man, The Fly, Mr. MacPhisto, and even his most recent incarnation: Evil Bono.


FOUR We make a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves and regardless of all those who call us "obsessed" and tell us we, at times, act like twelve year old girls, we still are devoted believers in his wisdom and divine stage presence



FIVE We have admitted to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of why this man is so important to the world!! Jubilee 2000, Sarajevo, Amnesty International, Inspiration, Good Will, Africa, Kindness, Divinity…Need we go on?


SIX We are not entirely ready to have God (or therapy) remove all of these thoughts from our minds and our character. In fact, we think believing in Bonotheism makes us pretty special people!!!


SEVEN We humbly ask that Bono forgive our shortcomings such as screaming his name out car windows on the way to shows, hyperventilating in his presence, destroying our VCR's because of repeated pausing and slow motion viewings of the R&H performance of With or Without You, devoting hours of our free time debating with other Bonotheists about topics such as: "Will he wear the green shades or the blue ones?? Oh GOD, what if he wears the RED ONES?!" or "How sexy were his cheekbones in the Elevation video?!!"


EIGHT We have made a list of all persons who claim to not understand this "Bono thing"… and we have vowed to convert them. And we mean it too!


NINE We have made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others or ourselves. We draw the line at explaining what it's like to watch Bono lie on the stage while singing "Until the End of the World" or "With or Without You"......especially while driving...surely an accident would be inevitable.


TEN We continue to take personal inventory of our bootleg CD, official CD, video, and picture collections and when we discover there is something we do not have, we promptly make arrangement to GET it. Maxing out credit cards, putting a second mortgage on the house-they are possibly doing another North American Elevation leg you know…twelve dates in February...


ELEVEN We have sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with Bono as we understand him, praying only for knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry that out.


TWELVE Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we try to carry this message to realized and unrealized Bono fans everywhere.
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Old 11-12-2004, 08:57 PM   #2
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Re: 12 Steps of Bonotheism

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SIX We are not entirely ready to have God (or therapy) remove all of these thoughts from our minds and our character. In fact, we think believing in Bonotheism makes us pretty special people!!!
And we are!
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Old 11-12-2004, 09:00 PM   #3
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Re: 12 Steps of Bonotheism

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Originally posted by starsgoblue
… and we have vowed to convert them. And we mean it too!
I did quite that. Boring people!
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Old 11-12-2004, 09:04 PM   #4
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Re: 12 Steps of Bonotheism

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Originally posted by starsgoblue

SEVEN We humbly ask that Bono forgive our shortcomings such as screaming his name out car windows on the way to shows, hyperventilating in his presence, destroying our VCR's because of repeated pausing and slow motion viewings of the R&H performance of With or Without You, devoting hours of our free time debating with other Bonotheists about topics such as: "Will he wear the green shades or the blue ones?? Oh GOD, what if he wears the RED ONES?!" or "How sexy were his cheekbones in the Elevation video?!!"


TEN We continue to take personal inventory of our bootleg CD, official CD, video, and picture collections and when we discover there is something we do not have, we promptly make arrangement to GET it. Maxing out credit cards, putting a second mortgage on the house-they are possibly doing another North American Elevation leg you know…twelve dates in February...


Well, that's me...definetly.
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Old 11-12-2004, 09:23 PM   #5
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Re: 12 Steps of Bonotheism

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Originally posted by starsgoblue
devoting hours of our free time debating with other Bonotheists about topics such as: "Will he wear the green shades or the blue ones?? Oh GOD, what if he wears the RED ONES?!" or "How sexy were his cheekbones in the Elevation video?!!"

brilliant.

Yeah, I remember that site, I sawr it a long time ago...
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Old 11-12-2004, 09:29 PM   #6
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But seriously though, HOW sexy are his cheekbones in the Elevation video?! They're hawt!

Oh man, I'm worse off than I thought....
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Old 11-12-2004, 09:31 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally posted by starsgoblue
But seriously though, HOW sexy are his cheekbones in the Elevation video?! They're hawt!

Oh man, I'm worse off than I thought....
yeah his cheekbones are pretty hot...how bout his teeth in the European SIAM? that man has attractive teeth.
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Old 11-12-2004, 09:36 PM   #8
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OK, OK, OK, OK - THIS!! is. the. best. thread. EVER!!!!!

Thanks yet again, stars for making me laugh out loud! I should have that printed up poster-sized and place it in my growing litte B-man shrine!!!

These three seem to especially apply to me lately!

ONE We admit we are powerless over the seduction of Bono - that our lives have become unmanageable because of the voice, the lyrics, and his worldly presence. Besides those damn leather pants, blue eyes, and fly shades, can I just say GA? My addiction will never be the same again...

TWO We have come to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity and he sings about Mysterious Ways, Streets with No Names, Angels in Harlem, and how there needs to be Peace On Earth.

FOUR We make a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves and regardless of all those who call us "obsessed" and tell us we, at times, act like twelve year old girls, we still are devoted believers in his wisdom and divine stage presence
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Old 11-12-2004, 10:03 PM   #9
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been a practicing Bonotheist for some 23 years and my faith has not been shaken once!

the GREAT thing about being a Bonotheist is that I bet none of us are ready for recovery - I know I don't want a 12 step program.

While we laugh at this, there is a core of truth in it.
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Old 11-12-2004, 10:18 PM   #10
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If loving Bono is wrong I don't wanna be right!

Amen to the power of GA!

B-man...can we get an "Up GA cheer?!"

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Old 11-13-2004, 03:53 AM   #11
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Yup, I'm definitely a Bonotheist. This is too funny, and even more importantly, very true!

Quote:
NINE We have made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others or ourselves. We draw the line at explaining what it's like to watch Bono lie on the stage while singing "Until the End of the World" or "With or Without You"......especially while driving...surely an accident would be inevitable.
I made a clip instead and shared it with those I thought were convertable. If they they didn't get it by watching that I was not interested in them joining me in my love for the man.... Only one got it (well, she was already there, she just fell in love beyond repair). That's all I one needs. And well, I found this place.
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Old 11-13-2004, 04:55 AM   #12
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Re: 12 Steps of Bonotheism

Quote:
Originally posted by starsgoblue




ONE We admit we are powerless over the seduction of Bono - that our lives have become unmanageable because of the voice, the lyrics, and his worldly presence. Besides those damn leather pants, blue eyes, and fly shades, can I just say GA? My addiction will never be the same again...


SEVEN We humbly ask that Bono forgive our shortcomings such as screaming his name out car windows on the way to shows, hyperventilating in his presence, destroying our VCR's because of repeated pausing and slow motion viewings of the R&H performance of With or Without You



TEN We continue to take personal inventory of our bootleg CD, official CD, video, and picture collections and when we discover there is something we do not have, we promptly make arrangement to GET it. Maxing out credit cards, putting a second mortgage on the house-they are possibly doing another North American Elevation leg you know…twelve dates in February...





That would be me!
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Old 11-13-2004, 07:04 AM   #13
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I've been a Bonotheist for some 21 years. It's an addiction for sure. It's one I don't care to kick, either, it's too much fun!
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Old 11-13-2004, 07:25 AM   #14
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Re: 12 Steps of Bonotheism

Quote:
Originally posted by starsgoblue
TWO We have come to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity and he sings about Mysterious Ways, Streets with No Names, Angels in Harlem, and how there needs to be Peace On Earth.

FOUR We make a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves and regardless of all those who call us "obsessed" and tell us we, at times, act like twelve year old girls, we still are devoted believers in his wisdom and divine stage

TEN We continue to take personal inventory of our bootleg CD, official CD, video, and picture collections and when we discover there is something we do not have, we promptly make arrangement to GET it. Maxing out credit cards, putting a second mortgage on the house-they are possibly doing another North American Elevation leg you know…twelve dates in February...
These are me all the way!

I don't need a 12-step program...I can quit whenever I want...but right now I must listen to the radio 24 hours a day so I can win the trip to New York...
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Old 11-13-2004, 07:41 AM   #15
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I had not seen that beforfe but that's really ingenious and fun! I really like the one about asking to explain about him lying on stage singing end of the world...no need to explain that to me! Oh christ the way he rolls around up there during that part of the show OMG SO SEXY AS HELL!!!! It drives me totally crazy that does i remember reding a quote by Shirley Manson where she said Bono was looking down at me while singing that and that she almost died of embarrassement and was totally swooning over him staring down at her OH MY i so wish that could have been me!But isn't it good to know that someone like Shirley, who is supposed to be such a bold, brassy and confident woman who is famous can be seduced by Bono as much as us ordinary girls? cool! I saw them on the Elevation tour but i wasn't lucky enough to be at the front! It sounds terrible to say this but i bought tickets for the seated area 'cos i thought i might be in the queue for GA for ages and to my horror there was plenty of spaces at the tip of the heart where i could been right in that spot i just could not believe it AAAAAHHHHH i was totally cursing myself for not having been down the front arg i will be making sure i get a ticket to be at the front for next year though 'cos i do know how great it is being at the v front since i did get to be at there for outdoor ZooTV at Celtic Park in Scotland(where i'm from) and what a view i had!!!!!To see Bono so close up in his tight, shiny leather pants like that rowr/ mmmmmmm delectable sight of the decade! Anyway the way he looks in all those Elevation pics that have been going around on here, him lying up there with his ass up in the air (and what an ass it is!) they are just sheer torture. yep, it's as if he knows exactly what he's doing to us as you all keep saying on here, the darn torturer that the is, he's such a naughty boy, isn't he? He loves all the attention he gets from us, though he really does! Bad Bono i demand that you stop torturing us with your Xtreme sexiness!!!God i'm getting carried away already on PLEBA, it's crazy how it took me so long to get on here.... ah well, i finally took the plunge!
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Old 11-13-2004, 09:06 AM   #16
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churchofbono (dot)org is really funny
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Old 11-13-2004, 11:06 AM   #17
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Lol....their disclaimer:

"disclaimer
In case you haven't realized it yet, The Church of Bono isn't a real church. And no, we aren't some crazed, psychoid Bono stalkers. We're here to have fun. If you don't like what we're doing, move along. This site is not to be taken seriously in the idea that Bono is God. This is strictly for entertainment only. We don't advocate praying to Bono (unless you really want to) or stalking him. NEVER EVER EVER."
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Old 11-13-2004, 11:07 AM   #18
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Lol....the 10Zoomandments....this is hysterical
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Old 11-13-2004, 12:30 PM   #19
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strange.


Just today a friend gave me that link and he surlel wouldn't go into PLEBA to get it for me....who weird is that.
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Old 11-14-2004, 06:15 AM   #20
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'I am the LV thy Bono which have brought thee out of the land of punk, out of the house of grunge, out of the kitchen of Mullen.'

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