I'm so sorry to hear this, belatedly- since i wasn't near any 'puter's till the past few days.
I'm glad you had such a love, and Love like that never truely dies.
You might be feeling a lot more of the pain right now, plus scrambling with the changes such a loss involves.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Having read a bunch about grief in relationship to 9-11 victims (& I 'm a NYC'r), and having lost my sweet mom 6 months back - i've become more familiar with this stuff.
Grief shows up in different stages (which may circle, and return), and manifests differently in each person-- so don't compare yourself to others, if you can. Hopefully you'll be able to grieve as you feel comfortable doing- however that is. Some times it's shows up in ways that surprise/puzzle a person.
Ex: if you're a more reserved person you might find yourself blubbering lot-- please try not to feel embarressed. If you're a talker-- suddenly you might find your self in a bunch of big silences ( where maybe writing stuff down might help).
As they say take it one minute, hour, day at a time....and
remember to take care of yourself.
You have been in my thoughts this last week or so and I'd like you to know that you are in my prayers! 
Thanks for checking in .
