LoveandLogic
Refugee
A/N: I can't just neglect Edge now can I? 
Disclaimer: FAKE! Feedback is always welcome, though!
Chapter Nine
Edge awoke to a sleeping Alexandra still resting on his stomach, her breathing light, lips slightly open. Smiling down at her, he gently pushed her arms away so that he could get up off the couch. Not that he wanted to--he could have spent all afternoon and night next to the warmth of her body, to feel her astonishingly soft skin against his and taste her nectar until the night closed in once again. Still, he had things to do, lawyers to talk to and papers to sign. Always the endless amounts of papers and discussions and money. However, it was all worth it to him. His children are the most important priority in his life and if this is what it took--so be it.
Alexandra stirred from Edge’s moving muscles and, opening her eyes, she smiled at up at the guitarist, slightly confused at where she was at first until landing her vision on the incredible view of hazel eyes and a tender smile that could only belong to Edge.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.” He told her while running the back of his hand down the length of her hair. “You can go back to sleep if you want. I have to meet up with my lawyer in an hour.”
She yawned. “Do you have to leave?”
“No, he’s coming here. Bono will be here, too, with Jess if you want to spend time with her. Bono is always with me during these times.”
“Um, I really don’t want to intrude.”
“Nonsense, you’re not intruding. I’m sure Jess would love to see you again. It’s up to you, Alex. If you want to go home I’ll come over whenever everything is finished.”
“No, I’ll hang out with her. Just let me go home and shower and water the garden.”
Edge nodded. “Ok, love. Did you sleep well?”
She paused.
Had she?
Yes, she did sleep well. Very well, in fact. Only now, when Edge asked her, did she realize just how deeply and peacefully she had slept all through the night. Nightmares didn’t haunt her, nor did the voices that accompanied those nightmares. Edge’s arms were like a safe barrier of comfort and relaxation. It was almost as if he were her own personal dream catcher, fighting off and blocking the unwanted dreams that had been disturbing her for years upon years. Was that a good thing? Sure, it was nice to sleep from sunset to sunrise, but what if things didn’t work out between the two? Then what? It would start all over again. Also, it was frightening to her. They have known each other for only a few days and already she was lost without him. She craved to press her lips to his, to savor his fingertips on her body, caressing her like she were a rare species.
Was it love? Perhaps. Lust? More than likely. Nonetheless, any type of affection was better than no affection at all. And he gave it to her in such a gentlemanly fashion, just as a man should treat a woman.
Fully awake now, she pressed on, resting her lips onto his, offering entry to moan into his mouth, melting at the moist muscle of his tongue along hers. It was almost too much for her: to be this close to another human. In the back of her mind she dreaded at the thought of trusting someone--anyone--ever again.
But Edge…Edge was something different. In his eyes she could tell that he, too, was just as paranoid of her as she was of him. It was the little things she noticed. Like how he would go to touch her, grab her hand, only to pull away suddenly as though she would set him on fire if he did so. And no matter how hard he tried to hide it, she always noticed because she was doing the exact same thing.
Breaking the kiss, Edge smiled onto Alexandra’s lips, smiling through his half-hooded eyes.
“What a beautiful way to start a morning.”
Alexandra blushed. “I agree. I’ll be back in a few, alright? If you’re with your lawyer I’ll wait outside for Jess and Bono.”
“Ok, love. I’ll see you then.”
They kissed once more before departing. Edge put on a pot of coffee, showered, dressed and headed back down the stairs to wait for his lawyer. Bono showed up first, arm in arm with a dazzling Jessica hanging off his arm like a glowing radiance of sunshine. She had always been a beautiful woman but now with her being pregnant, it was almost as though she shone like a bright star that could enlighten the whole galaxy.
“Morning, The Edge!” Bono boasted, forcing himself to be chipper for the sake of his best friend. These meetings weren’t exactly on the top of their “Top Fun Things To Do” list.
“Morning, Bono. And how are you, lovely?” He asked Jess, giving her soft lips a welcoming kiss.
“Great, Edge, and how are you, darling? You doing alright?”
“For the moment.” He sighed. “We’ll see how things go today.”
The three of them exchanged worried and saddened looks. Jessica hated seeing her friend like this. Anytime they had their lawyer sittings an empty pit would form in the bottom of her stomach, like someone had dug a well with no water. Now, with her carrying a child, it hurt even more. If by some rare chance in hell that she and Bono split, she would never, ever keep him away from his child.
Alex knocked on the frame of the sliding door, dressed in a brown zip-up sweater and short, jean shorts, her hair dried and put up into a high ponytail. Edge’s heart suddenly jumped an extra beat, the vision of the woman evaporating all his distraught and nerves.
“Am I interrupting?” She asked, seeing how the three friends were silent and embracing.
Bono grinned. “No, love, you’re fine. Please, come in.”
Alex joined Edge’s side, slipping her hand through his. He was nervous, she could tell from the sweatiness of his palm. She gave his fingers a reassuring squeeze and they shared knowing glances, her eyes telling him, “Everything will be ok, I’m here for you.”
The sound of a car pulled up and Edge and Bono stared at one another. It was like Dooms Day, Alex thought sadly, her heart breaking at Edge’s facial expression.
Bono went to open the door and Jessica went outside, leaving Alex and Edge alone. She turned to him and wrapped her arms around his middle, digging the side of her face into his chest.
He embraced back, rubbing his hands between her shoulder blades, inhaling her freshly shampooed hair. Combining foreheads, they locked eyes and she tried to give him a soothing smile.
“I’ll be outside if you need me.” She promised. “I’m not going anywhere until I make sure you’re ok.”
“Thank you, Alex. I don’t know how long this will take.”
“It doesn’t matter how long it takes. I’ll be here.”
Now speechless, Edge welcomed Alexandra’s feathery kiss before watching her leave the kitchen, disappearing into the back yard. Jessica was by the pool, sipping on some cold tea, her eyes misty and looking at no particular object. Alex sat down across from her, causing Jess to twitch back into reality. She chuckled embarrassingly, shaking her head.
“I’m sorry, Alex. I almost didn’t see you. Kind of…dazed off there for a second. Would you like some tea? Edge makes the best iced tea!”
“Sure,” Alex answered, accepting a glass from Bono’s wife. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. What a sad day. I hate when they have these meetings. Usually I try not come here when this goes on, you know? Edge’s reactions are always so depressing.”
“Yeah, I don’t think I’ve seen him look that gloom before.”
“I know what you mean. Edge is never a gloomy person. But when that lawyer pulls up it’s like earth turned to Hell, ya know? I can only imagine what he’s going through. Anyways,” She set the subject to the side. “How are you and Edge doing? You’ve been spending a lot of time together.”
Alex nodded, unable to prevent the corners of her lips from turning upwards. “Yes, we have. He’s an amazing guy. Very smart and caring. I’ve never met anyone like him before.”
“All four of them are something else, I’ll tell you. Edge is a great guy, too.”
“How well do you know him?” Alex asked.
“He’s like a brother.” Jessica winked. “Did he ever tell you how we all met?”
Alex shrugged. “Only bits and pieces.”
“Oh, well, it’s a long story so I will try to make it short. Their bus broke down in Ohio--I’m from Ohio, by the way, born and raised--during the middle of Zoo TV tour. Bono was driving, don’t ask why, he shouldn’t even be driving during non-touring times. The man is terrifying behind the wheel!”
Nearly choking on her tea, Alex laughed along Jessica, the two girls giggling for a long moment before Jessica continued:
“Anyways, so they ended up at my doorstep! Now, imagine me, an eighteen year old girl, huge U2 fan, opening the door and seeing the four members of U2! Well, at this time, there was a horrible snow storm. Their battery froze and there was no way to get into town to get their bus repaired. I mean, there was almost seven feet of snow on the ground!
“They stayed as guests at my house for a month and during that time, Bono and I grew really close and, well, fell in love. When the snow finally melted enough for them to leave, Bono and I promised to stay in touch. I wrote him all the time, tried calling and such and he never responded. Edge was actually the one who kept the communication going. For six years I heard nothing back from Bono. I went on to college in New York, got a photographing job and, one day, while at Starbucks with Brooke, I saw Bono. My heart literally about blew up. I jolted out the door and he caught up with me and do you know what I did?”
“What?” Alex asked, completely in a trance to Jessica’s story.
“I slapped that motherfucker!”
“Ha-ha! No way!”
Jessica crossed her arms, sticking her nose up in the air, feeling proud. “Sure did! Six years and no communication? Damn, right, I slapped him! Turns out I had to photograph them at the company and we all went out drinking, happy that we were reunited and catching up on lost time. Bono and I got completely smashed, I mean, big time drunk. He ended up going home with me but thank God nothing happened. After that photo shoot I had to take more photo’s of them during a surprise show on the Brooklyn Bridge. Bono pulls me up on stage, sings to me and kisses me. In front of millions! It was everywhere-TV, magazines. I never thought I would forgive him for that.
“He and Edge got into it that night and the story goes on: I hated Bono, never wanted to forgive, he still loved me. I lost my job after the whole Brooklyn Bridge thing but somehow ended up with my photographs on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine. Bono flew to France with a throat cancer scare and he called me up, flew me to France and there we fell in love all over again.”
“Cancer scare? Was it serious?” Asked Alex.
“Not really. The block just smokes and drinks too much.” They laughed and Jess went on. “So when we got back to the States, things got kind of weird again because Bono was engaged at the time to Olivia Gilbert, the runway model. She found out, of course, and I didn’t feel right breaking up a relationship. I knew how it felt to be neglected by Bono and I didn’t want Olivia going through the same thing, so I broke it off with him so he and Olivia could get married.”
Alexandra blinked at the girl across from her and asked, to double check what she just heard, “You broke up with Bono so he could marry someone else? How…how does that make sense?”
“I know it sounds crazy. But I didn’t want to be the other woman. And Bono made a promise. It just…didn’t feel right. So I went back to Ohio for a few years to get my life back together. Turns out my life was nothing without Bono in it. He was my life, still is. My mom eventually talked me into moving back to New York and I did, which was the best choice I ever made. I started up my own business with Brooke and we opened a photographing studio. Then Bono and I met up again. He did marry Olivia but they divorced cause she was cheating on him. Ha, stupid girl. She doesn’t know what she’s missing!
“I told him that I wanted to give us another go and he pretty much just laid it all down on the table: we either get married or never see each other again. And here we are, happily together and starting a family.”
“Wow,” Exhaling, Alex let out a breath that she had unknowingly been holding in. “That’s almost unbelievable.”
“It is, yes. I wouldn’t believe it myself if it didn’t happen to me. I love telling people how we met and got together. It was a struggle, to be in love with a rock star. I’m a very private person and he’s…everywhere! And now with his effort to relief debt from Africa he’s constantly meeting up with politicians and his face is always on CNN. It’s a rollercoaster being married to him.”
“How do you handle it then? Don’t you ever, like, get frustrated with not having privacy?”
“That’s the thing, though, Alex. Bono always somehow manages to keep our private life behind closed doors. If you think about it, U2 isn’t a boy band. They’re not constantly in the tabloids or on the gossip channel. Bono is so graceful and half the time I hardly realize he’s in a band. The only time I really notice that he’s famous is when we go out and someone asks for an autograph or a picture. Or when he’s off recording with the band or on tour.”
“Are the tours hard to live with?”
Jessica pondered for a moment. “No, not really. I spend half the tour with them and the other half either here or in the States.”
“What about trust? Don’t you ever wonder if he’s…I don’t want to say this the wrong way.”
“I don’t worry about him cheating, no. I know that most celebrities are not faithful but celebrities are unfaithful half the time because they don’t believe in one another or communicate. Bono has brought girls on stage with him, danced with them and even kissed them! Do I get jealous? Of course I do. Do I get angry at him? Never.”
“Why?”
She smiled. “Because that’s part of the job, Alex. He’s there to entertain. And he’s great at entertaining. Bono is a wonderful story teller, musician, husband and just a wonderful person in general. We both know that he, and the rest of the guys, are what they are because of their fans. Who am I to take that away? He can flirt and dance all he wants but at the end of the day, he’s coming home to me. That’s the only thing that is important. It’s the only thing that truly matters.”
Alexandra nodded, soaking in Jessica’s advice and point of view. She was a strong woman. Strong for carrying the capability of being married to one of the most wanted celebrities in history. In a way, Alex was highly jealous of her. Here she was, a simple girl, living in Wicklow, leading a normal life and she still couldn’t find the nerve to trust Edge. Then again, they just met. Why should she trust him? He could be a groupie loving rock star for all she knew.
“What about Edge?” She asked Jessica who cocked an eyebrow.
“What about Edge?”
“Is he a groupie kind of guy?”
“Oh no! No, that would be Adam.”
Laughing, the two girls poured another glass of tea and Jessica leaned back in her seat, staring up at the sky, lost in thought.
“How would I describe Edge?” She began. “Edge is a very grounded type of guy. Always on his toes. He’s very calm, hardly ever yells. Now, if you set him off, and trust me, it takes a lot to blow his fuse, he can fly off the handle. But he thinks before he talks. Bono just kind of says whatever whenever. Not Edge, though. And he’s a very lovely man. If you ever need anything, and I mean anything, he is always there. Any woman would be lucky to have Edge.”
“What happened with his marriage?”
“It just,” She sighed deeply. “Didn’t work. Some women can’t handle being married to a rock star. It’s a lot of work and a lot sleepless nights. Sometimes, when I’m not with him, I do feel alone and sad. But when he comes home and we’re reunited, it’s like nothing ever changed, like he was there with me all along. You can’t think of Edge as a…a celebrity. You have to think of him as a man with a very rare profession. But trust me, Alex, you can fall for Edge and never want to come back up.”
Alex couldn’t disagree with that. Edge truly was a terrific person, one of the best she has met in a long time, as was Bono, Jess and the rest of the crew. Funny how life could turn around in such a quite instant. One day Alex is taking care of her gardens or painting. Next thing she knows, she’s sitting in the back yard with one of the most famous bands in history. It was almost as though she had never lived in the States, married to an abusive husband and higher than a kite ninety percent of the day. That was Edge’s doing. It was his own kindness and reassuring words of wisdom and love that chased away all the demons in her head.
It was getting late into the afternoon and Edge and Bono were still in the house with the lawyer. As Alex promised, she hadn’t moved from the backyard though she were tooth and nail with every passing second. She and Jess talked about many things to make the time go by faster: art, music, family, friends and their love of Dublin.
“Would you ever move back to the States?” Jessica asked Alex.
Alex shook her head. “Never.”
“Why not? Don’t you miss it?”
“Of course I do. There are just…certain things I don’t want to face. What’s the point anyways? I have no family, no friends. Here isn’t any different but at least I have my garden and my painting. That’s all I really need.”
“You don’t have a family?”
“No. My parents died when I was young and my brother died in a drunk driving accident. I have grandparents in the States but I just, I don’t know. It’s a very complicated situation.”
“No children?” Jess asked, tears welling in the brim of her eyes.
“No. No children. If I did have children, I would have taken them with me to Dublin.”
“Were you ever married?”
Alex nodded, unable to speak. She hardly knew Jessica, why would she want to tell her all of this private information? Would the lead singer’s wife judge her like everyone else? Her mind just wasn’t capable, or willing, to take that chance again.
“I was,” She spoke finally. “We didn’t work out.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. Marriage is hard. Bono drives me up the wall! It’s exhausting, really.”
Alex chuckled. “You seem to have a terrific marriage, though. That’s so rare to see anymore.”
“We’re soul mates.” Jessica smiled lovingly, gazing towards the kitchen window. “Not a day goes by where I don’t tell him how grateful I am to have him in my life. We fought to stay together and I think that’s what keeps us together. It’s not about sex or attraction, it’s about a soul connection that I have yet to find with another man. And I know that I will never find another love like his for the rest of my life.”
Alex hummed and sat back in her chair, lost in thought. She thought of her past and the turn of events that would shape her into the woman that she was now: closed up into a shell built of bulletproof glass, incapable of truly falling in love, unable to expose her soul to another being. It were the people in her life--the people she gained, lost and cared for--that molded her. None of this was fair. It wasn’t fair that she would be forever scarred and penetrated because of one broken relationship. It wasn’t fair that Edge had to pay for it, to never receive the type of affection he so desperately wanted from Alexandra. And, above all, it wasn’t fair that Alexandra couldn’t be given a second chance.
Edge and Bono came out into the backyard sooner than both girls expected. Alexandra met Edge’s eyes instantly to try and read any type of physical body language. She had seen none--not even a speck of hope in his smile or grief in his eyes. He didn’t want to worry Alex, to bring her down to his level. This wasn’t her burden to carry. Besides, she couldn’t do anything about his situation, so why bother putting all the weight on her?
Jessica, however, asked heavily. “So, what happened?”
Sighing deeply, Bono crossed his arms and spoke for his friend. “Of course she’s not giving in. She is allowing Edge to go to her to see his children. That‘s about as far as it‘s going to get for the moment.”
“And that makes sense how? What is he going to do? Rent a hotel and spend time with his kids in public? What if he wants to have them go swimming here and play in the backyard like a normal family? What if he wa-”
“Calm down, love.” Bono soothed his wife, rubbing her back. “Don’t get yourself riled up. We’ll sort something out. The kids are getting old enough to make their own choices now. Sooner or later they’re going to stand up for themselves and say that they want to see their old man soon.”
Edge sat next to Alex and flashed her a weak smile, receiving one in return. Under the table she took his hand and laced their fingers, squeezing them reassuringly.
“I hate to leave so soon but we have a doctor’s appointment in fifteen minutes.” Bono announced, lifting Jess to her feet. “Got to see how the baby in the oven is doing.”
“That’s ok, mate,” Edge said, standing to give Jessica a kiss. “Thanks for coming over. I really appreciate it.”
“Anytime, Ed.” Jessica cooed, caressing his cheek and chin, speaking directly into his eyes. “You always know that if you need anything, anything at all-”
“I know, I know, just call.” Edge finished with a snicker. “Take care, loves.”
Alex and Jess embraced, thanking one another for the company they had provided during such a time of personal depression. Once the couple was gone, Alex and Edge took a walk to the top of the hill behind Alexandra’s house, silent and avoiding touch.
Funny, he thought, one minute were holding hands and hugging, then the next we stand two feet away. What is going on?
Pushing all contemplations to the side, they settled in the green grass, Edge lounging back into the moist earth while Alexandra sat Indian style next to him. It was a beautiful day: cloudless, sunny and warm topped off with a gentle breeze.
Not capable of taking one more second of stillness, Alexandra turned to Edge and asked delicately, “Are you ok? You’re not as talkative today. Which, I can understand why and if you would rather be left alone I can leave.”
“Nonsense,” Objected Edge, taking Alexandra’s hand, placing it on his breast bone. “I want you here. You’re the only thing that brightens up this shitty world.”
Her face crimsoned. “How can you say such nice things to a woman you hardly know?”
“Because when you’re with me I feel myself again. That’s all I will ever need to know.”
Her face felt warm and charming along his fingertips as he caressed her lips, tracing the shape with the pad of his thumb. How badly did he want to taste her again, to discover her teeth and tongue with his own while combing through her ruby hair.
Alexandra pushed into his hands, moaning in an inaudible fashion as she gazed a trail from his crossed ankles up to his flat stomach, imagining what dazzled beneath his t-shirt, longing to sample his salty skin. It just wasn’t possible anymore--she had to keep him. It was a matter-of-fact, a must do and must have. And he felt it, as well.
Edge sat up, angling both his legs on either side of her waist, cupping her petite shoulders and securing his eyes to hers. She bit the corner of her lip nervously, unable to look away and fighting back the urge to do just that.
“What are you thinking?” He asked.
“I…I’m thinking…I’m thinking that no one has ever looked at me the way that you look at me.”
“And how do I look at you?”
“Like you…you…care for me.”
Edge grinned lovingly, pushing aside the stray hairs that lingered before Alexandra’s features. “I do care for you. Do you believe me?”
“I…I don’t know, to be honest. I’ve had people tell me that they care for me but never took the time to actually show me.”
“There’s their problem. Here,” He whispered, leaning his lips in closer to hers until all he could feel and focus on was her hot, anticipated breath fogging his mouth. “Let me show you.”
Before she could muster another word, the bride between them gapped as he enveloped their lips, pushing past her teeth to tangle his tongue with hers. Love. Was this love? Could one little kiss say more than a thousand words spoken through the teeth of a man? Did this kiss make promises? Did his lips hold a magic potion that could fight away all the curses that had been haunting her life for the past five years? Did his kisses take away the permanent bruises on her arms and the emotional scars in her heart?
Logically speaking--no. One kiss could never mend all. And Edge was logical, just as logical as Alex. Yet deep down, as they kissed and moaned and caressed on a hilltop in the small town of Wicklow, both Alex and Edge decided to set all areas of logic aside and, for once in their lives, to let their hearts overpower their minds.
Disclaimer: FAKE! Feedback is always welcome, though!
Chapter Nine
Edge awoke to a sleeping Alexandra still resting on his stomach, her breathing light, lips slightly open. Smiling down at her, he gently pushed her arms away so that he could get up off the couch. Not that he wanted to--he could have spent all afternoon and night next to the warmth of her body, to feel her astonishingly soft skin against his and taste her nectar until the night closed in once again. Still, he had things to do, lawyers to talk to and papers to sign. Always the endless amounts of papers and discussions and money. However, it was all worth it to him. His children are the most important priority in his life and if this is what it took--so be it.
Alexandra stirred from Edge’s moving muscles and, opening her eyes, she smiled at up at the guitarist, slightly confused at where she was at first until landing her vision on the incredible view of hazel eyes and a tender smile that could only belong to Edge.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.” He told her while running the back of his hand down the length of her hair. “You can go back to sleep if you want. I have to meet up with my lawyer in an hour.”
She yawned. “Do you have to leave?”
“No, he’s coming here. Bono will be here, too, with Jess if you want to spend time with her. Bono is always with me during these times.”
“Um, I really don’t want to intrude.”
“Nonsense, you’re not intruding. I’m sure Jess would love to see you again. It’s up to you, Alex. If you want to go home I’ll come over whenever everything is finished.”
“No, I’ll hang out with her. Just let me go home and shower and water the garden.”
Edge nodded. “Ok, love. Did you sleep well?”
She paused.
Had she?
Yes, she did sleep well. Very well, in fact. Only now, when Edge asked her, did she realize just how deeply and peacefully she had slept all through the night. Nightmares didn’t haunt her, nor did the voices that accompanied those nightmares. Edge’s arms were like a safe barrier of comfort and relaxation. It was almost as if he were her own personal dream catcher, fighting off and blocking the unwanted dreams that had been disturbing her for years upon years. Was that a good thing? Sure, it was nice to sleep from sunset to sunrise, but what if things didn’t work out between the two? Then what? It would start all over again. Also, it was frightening to her. They have known each other for only a few days and already she was lost without him. She craved to press her lips to his, to savor his fingertips on her body, caressing her like she were a rare species.
Was it love? Perhaps. Lust? More than likely. Nonetheless, any type of affection was better than no affection at all. And he gave it to her in such a gentlemanly fashion, just as a man should treat a woman.
Fully awake now, she pressed on, resting her lips onto his, offering entry to moan into his mouth, melting at the moist muscle of his tongue along hers. It was almost too much for her: to be this close to another human. In the back of her mind she dreaded at the thought of trusting someone--anyone--ever again.
But Edge…Edge was something different. In his eyes she could tell that he, too, was just as paranoid of her as she was of him. It was the little things she noticed. Like how he would go to touch her, grab her hand, only to pull away suddenly as though she would set him on fire if he did so. And no matter how hard he tried to hide it, she always noticed because she was doing the exact same thing.
Breaking the kiss, Edge smiled onto Alexandra’s lips, smiling through his half-hooded eyes.
“What a beautiful way to start a morning.”
Alexandra blushed. “I agree. I’ll be back in a few, alright? If you’re with your lawyer I’ll wait outside for Jess and Bono.”
“Ok, love. I’ll see you then.”
They kissed once more before departing. Edge put on a pot of coffee, showered, dressed and headed back down the stairs to wait for his lawyer. Bono showed up first, arm in arm with a dazzling Jessica hanging off his arm like a glowing radiance of sunshine. She had always been a beautiful woman but now with her being pregnant, it was almost as though she shone like a bright star that could enlighten the whole galaxy.
“Morning, The Edge!” Bono boasted, forcing himself to be chipper for the sake of his best friend. These meetings weren’t exactly on the top of their “Top Fun Things To Do” list.
“Morning, Bono. And how are you, lovely?” He asked Jess, giving her soft lips a welcoming kiss.
“Great, Edge, and how are you, darling? You doing alright?”
“For the moment.” He sighed. “We’ll see how things go today.”
The three of them exchanged worried and saddened looks. Jessica hated seeing her friend like this. Anytime they had their lawyer sittings an empty pit would form in the bottom of her stomach, like someone had dug a well with no water. Now, with her carrying a child, it hurt even more. If by some rare chance in hell that she and Bono split, she would never, ever keep him away from his child.
Alex knocked on the frame of the sliding door, dressed in a brown zip-up sweater and short, jean shorts, her hair dried and put up into a high ponytail. Edge’s heart suddenly jumped an extra beat, the vision of the woman evaporating all his distraught and nerves.
“Am I interrupting?” She asked, seeing how the three friends were silent and embracing.
Bono grinned. “No, love, you’re fine. Please, come in.”
Alex joined Edge’s side, slipping her hand through his. He was nervous, she could tell from the sweatiness of his palm. She gave his fingers a reassuring squeeze and they shared knowing glances, her eyes telling him, “Everything will be ok, I’m here for you.”
The sound of a car pulled up and Edge and Bono stared at one another. It was like Dooms Day, Alex thought sadly, her heart breaking at Edge’s facial expression.
Bono went to open the door and Jessica went outside, leaving Alex and Edge alone. She turned to him and wrapped her arms around his middle, digging the side of her face into his chest.
He embraced back, rubbing his hands between her shoulder blades, inhaling her freshly shampooed hair. Combining foreheads, they locked eyes and she tried to give him a soothing smile.
“I’ll be outside if you need me.” She promised. “I’m not going anywhere until I make sure you’re ok.”
“Thank you, Alex. I don’t know how long this will take.”
“It doesn’t matter how long it takes. I’ll be here.”
Now speechless, Edge welcomed Alexandra’s feathery kiss before watching her leave the kitchen, disappearing into the back yard. Jessica was by the pool, sipping on some cold tea, her eyes misty and looking at no particular object. Alex sat down across from her, causing Jess to twitch back into reality. She chuckled embarrassingly, shaking her head.
“I’m sorry, Alex. I almost didn’t see you. Kind of…dazed off there for a second. Would you like some tea? Edge makes the best iced tea!”
“Sure,” Alex answered, accepting a glass from Bono’s wife. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. What a sad day. I hate when they have these meetings. Usually I try not come here when this goes on, you know? Edge’s reactions are always so depressing.”
“Yeah, I don’t think I’ve seen him look that gloom before.”
“I know what you mean. Edge is never a gloomy person. But when that lawyer pulls up it’s like earth turned to Hell, ya know? I can only imagine what he’s going through. Anyways,” She set the subject to the side. “How are you and Edge doing? You’ve been spending a lot of time together.”
Alex nodded, unable to prevent the corners of her lips from turning upwards. “Yes, we have. He’s an amazing guy. Very smart and caring. I’ve never met anyone like him before.”
“All four of them are something else, I’ll tell you. Edge is a great guy, too.”
“How well do you know him?” Alex asked.
“He’s like a brother.” Jessica winked. “Did he ever tell you how we all met?”
Alex shrugged. “Only bits and pieces.”
“Oh, well, it’s a long story so I will try to make it short. Their bus broke down in Ohio--I’m from Ohio, by the way, born and raised--during the middle of Zoo TV tour. Bono was driving, don’t ask why, he shouldn’t even be driving during non-touring times. The man is terrifying behind the wheel!”
Nearly choking on her tea, Alex laughed along Jessica, the two girls giggling for a long moment before Jessica continued:
“Anyways, so they ended up at my doorstep! Now, imagine me, an eighteen year old girl, huge U2 fan, opening the door and seeing the four members of U2! Well, at this time, there was a horrible snow storm. Their battery froze and there was no way to get into town to get their bus repaired. I mean, there was almost seven feet of snow on the ground!
“They stayed as guests at my house for a month and during that time, Bono and I grew really close and, well, fell in love. When the snow finally melted enough for them to leave, Bono and I promised to stay in touch. I wrote him all the time, tried calling and such and he never responded. Edge was actually the one who kept the communication going. For six years I heard nothing back from Bono. I went on to college in New York, got a photographing job and, one day, while at Starbucks with Brooke, I saw Bono. My heart literally about blew up. I jolted out the door and he caught up with me and do you know what I did?”
“What?” Alex asked, completely in a trance to Jessica’s story.
“I slapped that motherfucker!”
“Ha-ha! No way!”
Jessica crossed her arms, sticking her nose up in the air, feeling proud. “Sure did! Six years and no communication? Damn, right, I slapped him! Turns out I had to photograph them at the company and we all went out drinking, happy that we were reunited and catching up on lost time. Bono and I got completely smashed, I mean, big time drunk. He ended up going home with me but thank God nothing happened. After that photo shoot I had to take more photo’s of them during a surprise show on the Brooklyn Bridge. Bono pulls me up on stage, sings to me and kisses me. In front of millions! It was everywhere-TV, magazines. I never thought I would forgive him for that.
“He and Edge got into it that night and the story goes on: I hated Bono, never wanted to forgive, he still loved me. I lost my job after the whole Brooklyn Bridge thing but somehow ended up with my photographs on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine. Bono flew to France with a throat cancer scare and he called me up, flew me to France and there we fell in love all over again.”
“Cancer scare? Was it serious?” Asked Alex.
“Not really. The block just smokes and drinks too much.” They laughed and Jess went on. “So when we got back to the States, things got kind of weird again because Bono was engaged at the time to Olivia Gilbert, the runway model. She found out, of course, and I didn’t feel right breaking up a relationship. I knew how it felt to be neglected by Bono and I didn’t want Olivia going through the same thing, so I broke it off with him so he and Olivia could get married.”
Alexandra blinked at the girl across from her and asked, to double check what she just heard, “You broke up with Bono so he could marry someone else? How…how does that make sense?”
“I know it sounds crazy. But I didn’t want to be the other woman. And Bono made a promise. It just…didn’t feel right. So I went back to Ohio for a few years to get my life back together. Turns out my life was nothing without Bono in it. He was my life, still is. My mom eventually talked me into moving back to New York and I did, which was the best choice I ever made. I started up my own business with Brooke and we opened a photographing studio. Then Bono and I met up again. He did marry Olivia but they divorced cause she was cheating on him. Ha, stupid girl. She doesn’t know what she’s missing!
“I told him that I wanted to give us another go and he pretty much just laid it all down on the table: we either get married or never see each other again. And here we are, happily together and starting a family.”
“Wow,” Exhaling, Alex let out a breath that she had unknowingly been holding in. “That’s almost unbelievable.”
“It is, yes. I wouldn’t believe it myself if it didn’t happen to me. I love telling people how we met and got together. It was a struggle, to be in love with a rock star. I’m a very private person and he’s…everywhere! And now with his effort to relief debt from Africa he’s constantly meeting up with politicians and his face is always on CNN. It’s a rollercoaster being married to him.”
“How do you handle it then? Don’t you ever, like, get frustrated with not having privacy?”
“That’s the thing, though, Alex. Bono always somehow manages to keep our private life behind closed doors. If you think about it, U2 isn’t a boy band. They’re not constantly in the tabloids or on the gossip channel. Bono is so graceful and half the time I hardly realize he’s in a band. The only time I really notice that he’s famous is when we go out and someone asks for an autograph or a picture. Or when he’s off recording with the band or on tour.”
“Are the tours hard to live with?”
Jessica pondered for a moment. “No, not really. I spend half the tour with them and the other half either here or in the States.”
“What about trust? Don’t you ever wonder if he’s…I don’t want to say this the wrong way.”
“I don’t worry about him cheating, no. I know that most celebrities are not faithful but celebrities are unfaithful half the time because they don’t believe in one another or communicate. Bono has brought girls on stage with him, danced with them and even kissed them! Do I get jealous? Of course I do. Do I get angry at him? Never.”
“Why?”
She smiled. “Because that’s part of the job, Alex. He’s there to entertain. And he’s great at entertaining. Bono is a wonderful story teller, musician, husband and just a wonderful person in general. We both know that he, and the rest of the guys, are what they are because of their fans. Who am I to take that away? He can flirt and dance all he wants but at the end of the day, he’s coming home to me. That’s the only thing that is important. It’s the only thing that truly matters.”
Alexandra nodded, soaking in Jessica’s advice and point of view. She was a strong woman. Strong for carrying the capability of being married to one of the most wanted celebrities in history. In a way, Alex was highly jealous of her. Here she was, a simple girl, living in Wicklow, leading a normal life and she still couldn’t find the nerve to trust Edge. Then again, they just met. Why should she trust him? He could be a groupie loving rock star for all she knew.
“What about Edge?” She asked Jessica who cocked an eyebrow.
“What about Edge?”
“Is he a groupie kind of guy?”
“Oh no! No, that would be Adam.”
Laughing, the two girls poured another glass of tea and Jessica leaned back in her seat, staring up at the sky, lost in thought.
“How would I describe Edge?” She began. “Edge is a very grounded type of guy. Always on his toes. He’s very calm, hardly ever yells. Now, if you set him off, and trust me, it takes a lot to blow his fuse, he can fly off the handle. But he thinks before he talks. Bono just kind of says whatever whenever. Not Edge, though. And he’s a very lovely man. If you ever need anything, and I mean anything, he is always there. Any woman would be lucky to have Edge.”
“What happened with his marriage?”
“It just,” She sighed deeply. “Didn’t work. Some women can’t handle being married to a rock star. It’s a lot of work and a lot sleepless nights. Sometimes, when I’m not with him, I do feel alone and sad. But when he comes home and we’re reunited, it’s like nothing ever changed, like he was there with me all along. You can’t think of Edge as a…a celebrity. You have to think of him as a man with a very rare profession. But trust me, Alex, you can fall for Edge and never want to come back up.”
Alex couldn’t disagree with that. Edge truly was a terrific person, one of the best she has met in a long time, as was Bono, Jess and the rest of the crew. Funny how life could turn around in such a quite instant. One day Alex is taking care of her gardens or painting. Next thing she knows, she’s sitting in the back yard with one of the most famous bands in history. It was almost as though she had never lived in the States, married to an abusive husband and higher than a kite ninety percent of the day. That was Edge’s doing. It was his own kindness and reassuring words of wisdom and love that chased away all the demons in her head.
It was getting late into the afternoon and Edge and Bono were still in the house with the lawyer. As Alex promised, she hadn’t moved from the backyard though she were tooth and nail with every passing second. She and Jess talked about many things to make the time go by faster: art, music, family, friends and their love of Dublin.
“Would you ever move back to the States?” Jessica asked Alex.
Alex shook her head. “Never.”
“Why not? Don’t you miss it?”
“Of course I do. There are just…certain things I don’t want to face. What’s the point anyways? I have no family, no friends. Here isn’t any different but at least I have my garden and my painting. That’s all I really need.”
“You don’t have a family?”
“No. My parents died when I was young and my brother died in a drunk driving accident. I have grandparents in the States but I just, I don’t know. It’s a very complicated situation.”
“No children?” Jess asked, tears welling in the brim of her eyes.
“No. No children. If I did have children, I would have taken them with me to Dublin.”
“Were you ever married?”
Alex nodded, unable to speak. She hardly knew Jessica, why would she want to tell her all of this private information? Would the lead singer’s wife judge her like everyone else? Her mind just wasn’t capable, or willing, to take that chance again.
“I was,” She spoke finally. “We didn’t work out.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. Marriage is hard. Bono drives me up the wall! It’s exhausting, really.”
Alex chuckled. “You seem to have a terrific marriage, though. That’s so rare to see anymore.”
“We’re soul mates.” Jessica smiled lovingly, gazing towards the kitchen window. “Not a day goes by where I don’t tell him how grateful I am to have him in my life. We fought to stay together and I think that’s what keeps us together. It’s not about sex or attraction, it’s about a soul connection that I have yet to find with another man. And I know that I will never find another love like his for the rest of my life.”
Alex hummed and sat back in her chair, lost in thought. She thought of her past and the turn of events that would shape her into the woman that she was now: closed up into a shell built of bulletproof glass, incapable of truly falling in love, unable to expose her soul to another being. It were the people in her life--the people she gained, lost and cared for--that molded her. None of this was fair. It wasn’t fair that she would be forever scarred and penetrated because of one broken relationship. It wasn’t fair that Edge had to pay for it, to never receive the type of affection he so desperately wanted from Alexandra. And, above all, it wasn’t fair that Alexandra couldn’t be given a second chance.
Edge and Bono came out into the backyard sooner than both girls expected. Alexandra met Edge’s eyes instantly to try and read any type of physical body language. She had seen none--not even a speck of hope in his smile or grief in his eyes. He didn’t want to worry Alex, to bring her down to his level. This wasn’t her burden to carry. Besides, she couldn’t do anything about his situation, so why bother putting all the weight on her?
Jessica, however, asked heavily. “So, what happened?”
Sighing deeply, Bono crossed his arms and spoke for his friend. “Of course she’s not giving in. She is allowing Edge to go to her to see his children. That‘s about as far as it‘s going to get for the moment.”
“And that makes sense how? What is he going to do? Rent a hotel and spend time with his kids in public? What if he wants to have them go swimming here and play in the backyard like a normal family? What if he wa-”
“Calm down, love.” Bono soothed his wife, rubbing her back. “Don’t get yourself riled up. We’ll sort something out. The kids are getting old enough to make their own choices now. Sooner or later they’re going to stand up for themselves and say that they want to see their old man soon.”
Edge sat next to Alex and flashed her a weak smile, receiving one in return. Under the table she took his hand and laced their fingers, squeezing them reassuringly.
“I hate to leave so soon but we have a doctor’s appointment in fifteen minutes.” Bono announced, lifting Jess to her feet. “Got to see how the baby in the oven is doing.”
“That’s ok, mate,” Edge said, standing to give Jessica a kiss. “Thanks for coming over. I really appreciate it.”
“Anytime, Ed.” Jessica cooed, caressing his cheek and chin, speaking directly into his eyes. “You always know that if you need anything, anything at all-”
“I know, I know, just call.” Edge finished with a snicker. “Take care, loves.”
Alex and Jess embraced, thanking one another for the company they had provided during such a time of personal depression. Once the couple was gone, Alex and Edge took a walk to the top of the hill behind Alexandra’s house, silent and avoiding touch.
Funny, he thought, one minute were holding hands and hugging, then the next we stand two feet away. What is going on?
Pushing all contemplations to the side, they settled in the green grass, Edge lounging back into the moist earth while Alexandra sat Indian style next to him. It was a beautiful day: cloudless, sunny and warm topped off with a gentle breeze.
Not capable of taking one more second of stillness, Alexandra turned to Edge and asked delicately, “Are you ok? You’re not as talkative today. Which, I can understand why and if you would rather be left alone I can leave.”
“Nonsense,” Objected Edge, taking Alexandra’s hand, placing it on his breast bone. “I want you here. You’re the only thing that brightens up this shitty world.”
Her face crimsoned. “How can you say such nice things to a woman you hardly know?”
“Because when you’re with me I feel myself again. That’s all I will ever need to know.”
Her face felt warm and charming along his fingertips as he caressed her lips, tracing the shape with the pad of his thumb. How badly did he want to taste her again, to discover her teeth and tongue with his own while combing through her ruby hair.
Alexandra pushed into his hands, moaning in an inaudible fashion as she gazed a trail from his crossed ankles up to his flat stomach, imagining what dazzled beneath his t-shirt, longing to sample his salty skin. It just wasn’t possible anymore--she had to keep him. It was a matter-of-fact, a must do and must have. And he felt it, as well.
Edge sat up, angling both his legs on either side of her waist, cupping her petite shoulders and securing his eyes to hers. She bit the corner of her lip nervously, unable to look away and fighting back the urge to do just that.
“What are you thinking?” He asked.
“I…I’m thinking…I’m thinking that no one has ever looked at me the way that you look at me.”
“And how do I look at you?”
“Like you…you…care for me.”
Edge grinned lovingly, pushing aside the stray hairs that lingered before Alexandra’s features. “I do care for you. Do you believe me?”
“I…I don’t know, to be honest. I’ve had people tell me that they care for me but never took the time to actually show me.”
“There’s their problem. Here,” He whispered, leaning his lips in closer to hers until all he could feel and focus on was her hot, anticipated breath fogging his mouth. “Let me show you.”
Before she could muster another word, the bride between them gapped as he enveloped their lips, pushing past her teeth to tangle his tongue with hers. Love. Was this love? Could one little kiss say more than a thousand words spoken through the teeth of a man? Did this kiss make promises? Did his lips hold a magic potion that could fight away all the curses that had been haunting her life for the past five years? Did his kisses take away the permanent bruises on her arms and the emotional scars in her heart?
Logically speaking--no. One kiss could never mend all. And Edge was logical, just as logical as Alex. Yet deep down, as they kissed and moaned and caressed on a hilltop in the small town of Wicklow, both Alex and Edge decided to set all areas of logic aside and, for once in their lives, to let their hearts overpower their minds.
Perhaps there is a 
