Seconds - Chapter 17

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WithoutSpeaking

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HALLELUJAH, HERE SHE COMES.

Title
: Seconds
Authors
: GraceRyan & wo_speaking
Rating:
PG13
Disclaimer
: This didn't actually happen. U2 was not born until the 1960s.

************************


What is he doing right now? Ava wondered, gazing out the window. Wrapped in her robe, she curled up on the window seat to wait for Lyneth. She could still feel his lips on hers, and it took all her strength to pull away from him last night. The feelings he inspired scared her but electrified her at the same time. She never felt such want with Richard. God, would she ever?

Ava hopped from her seat as Lyneth approached the house. Putting the kettle on as she swept by the kitchen, she opened the door for Lyneth. Like herself, Lyneth looked a bit tired from last night's festivities.


“Happy New Year,” Ava hugged her.


"You too," Lyneth noticed the kettle starting to steam away. "Oh good. I'm desperate for some tea. There was none at the house."


Ava laughed. “How does that happen?"


"Loads of sick girls. That was some party!"


While they waited on tea, they gossiped about the dresses and who was with whom.


"Did I see David dancing with a girl last night?" Lyneth poured milk in her tea.


"Yes, you did," Ava nodded.


Ava saw it all play it out from the stage. She watched David go from stiff and uncomfortable to dangerously close to Leigh. It was clear Leigh was smitten with David from the first night she turned up at the White Hart. Ava wondered if something happened between Leigh and David as she recalled his state after midnight. There was no sign of Leigh when he returned to the party. Where was he, and what happened that had him so shaken?


"He's starting to come out of his shell," Lyneth mused.


Ava nodded. "I think it takes him awhile to feel comfortable with people."


Lyneth raised an eyebrow. "He's always been very comfortable with you."


Ava wasn't sure what Lyneth was implying. "I pose no threat to him. I'm engaged."


"I'm no threat either....I'm with Adam," Lyneth shrugged.


Ava needed to choose her words very carefully. She didn't want to be the one to spill David's secret.


She laughed lightly. "Some people are snake charmers. I happen to be a man charmer. I think it is the accent."


Lyneth's brow furrowed. Was Ava hiding something? She was sure that Ava had no designs on David as Paul seemed to demand all her attention. Lyneth shook her head. Really, whatever occurred between Ava, Paul and David was no affair of hers. For once, her little life felt cozy and tied with a bow.


"Speaking of last night," Ava eyed her over her cup, "where did you run off to? One minute, you were dancing with Adam...then gone."


Lyneth's face and neck turned a deep shade of crimson. "It was warm at the mansion so we took a walk."


"If it was just a walk, you wouldn't be blushing."


"You know your flat is always stifling."


Lyneth wasn't sure she was ready to share the details of last night.


"I know. I keep asking about the heat - I guess it's better than too cold. Not sure my southern sensitivity could handle that. I'm still waiting to see snow. I know Richard promised me that I'd see snow," Ava regretted saying his name the moment it left her lips.


"How is Richard?"


A distant thought, Ava wanted to reply.


"Fine. Sounded like he was having a hoot of a time in Africa. Sent me the dress I wore last night." Her throat was dry thinking of Paul's hand on it less than twelve hours before.


"Did he mention when he was coming back?"


Lyneth hoped it would be soon.


"He never does. I know when he left we didn't think it would be this long."


She looked at Lyneth. "The tribulations of marrying a pilot."


Again, Lyneth blushed. "Adam and I are just dating."


"If I had to guess, things got a bit more serious last night."


Lyneth couldn't hold back any longer.


"We went to the barn out back," she giggled.


"For a little...what is it you call it....canoodle?"


"Yes," the blush returned in full force. "Among other things."


Ava's jaw dropped. "Lyneth! Do you mean that you and Adam...."


She couldn't bring herself to say the words. Instead, she nodded and giggled into her hands.


Ava felt a mixture of giddiness for one friend and sadness for the other. Poor Dave, she thought. It seemed impossible for him now that Adam and Lyneth shared that bond.


"So, how was it?" Ava asked.


Sex was not new to Lyneth. She had boyfriends before Adam. Last night was hungry and desperate, quick and cold. He knew how and where to touch her, but hopefully she could lay down in his arms the next time. Even thinking of a next time made her warm around her middle.


"It was very nice." She was unable suppress a large grin. "It was nice to be held, you know?"


It was Ava's turn to beam. "Oh, I know."


The smile faded from Lyneth's face as panic set in. "Ava....what have you done?" She cast her eyes in the direction of Ava's bedroom.


"No...nothing like that," she gave her friend's hand a reassuring squeeze. "It was just a kiss."


Lyneth breathed a sigh of relief.


"Or two or four or six," Ava's pale cheeks pinked. "Oh Lynnie, he's very good. Almost too good."


Lyneth's frown was deep and her voice became sharp. "Of course! He’s practiced on most of the girls in town! Oh Ava....what are you doing?"


She knew Lyneth would disapprove, but the anger she didn't expect.


"It's just fun....fairly innocent," Ava shrugged.


"You know it's not innocent. That boy is following you around like a lost puppy."


"I thought you were convinced he was a lech." It was Ava's turn to frown.


"Oh, I don't think he's innocent. You've been played for certain. But - he's definitely smitten, and it would be cruel to lead him on," Lyneth's voiced dropped.


"Lead him on?"


"Yes, making him think you care," Lyneth set down her tea cup.


"And if I do?" Ava's eyes dropped to the table as her finger traced the lace table cloth.

Lyneth saw this coming. "Then you need to stop this straight away before someone gets hurt."

Ava knew she was right. She promised herself to another man years ago. Recently, Ava started to think about that commitment - her marriage to Richard. She figured that after the war, they would settle into a house of their own. She would give birth to his children and life would be content. She never bargained on Paul entering her life, opening her to different and exciting feelings. She heard others describe experiencing sweaty palms and escalating heart rate. They must be ill, she told herself. Now when she thought of Paul, with his blue eyes, floppy hair and wry grin...she was dizzy.


"Ava...if you really care for him, and I pray it's a phase or a cold...then you need to think about his safety," Lyneth said.


"Safety?" Ava frowned.


"People talk and word could get back to Richard. What would he do if he found out that you were carrying on without him?"


It was true that Richard towered over Paul by almost six inches. Ava knew of only one fight Richard had ever been in - and it had been over her. The other guy would up with a broken nose while Richard walked away unscathed.


"If you care for Paul at all, you will not continue whatever might be starting," Lyneth advised. "Before it's too late."


Suddenly, Ava wished that Lyneth didn't come by for tea. Her dreams had been so pleasant last night. She thought about how nice it would be to wake in Paul's arms, to share tea with him in the morning. She was sure he meant what he said the night before; she wasn't just a notch. Maybe that was reason enough to stop things. When she agreed to marry Richard, she solidified their families bond and legacy. Their marriage was much more than just uniting two people - it was tobacco and cotton. She remembered that the Carmichael's future rested on her ring finger.


She pushed away her tea thinking of returning to her life at home. No more freedom, none of her friends here and no more Paul.


* * * * *


“Hello, Lyn.” David’s voice sounded deeper than usual as he steadied his nerves, standing to greet her as she flitted into the office to retrieve her coat. He knew she was working today but he hadn’t seen her until now; his shift was nearly half finished and his head had been buried in paperwork that had piled up over the holidays.


“Oh... Hi... I... I didn’t see you there...” she halted, glancing back at him as she stopped in her tracks at the sound of his voice.


The last time he heard that voice it was raised in passion, and in his mind, it had been because of
his touch. In reality, it was Adam who had claimed her for his own. But he didn’t want to let such thoughts interrupt his daydreaming. He’d thought about nothing but her all morning, and knew that he’d end up working much longer today than he wanted to because of it.

He jumped at the chance to study her whenever he could, and today he noticed that she seemed a bit flustered, her hair falling out of the neat clip she always wore below her nurses cap. He covertly loosened his tie as he noted the contrast of the chestnut locks against the alabaster skin of her neck - that long, swanlike neck...


“Happy New Year, David,” she said softly, laying her coat over her arm but not yet putting it on.


“Happy New Year to you too, Lyn,” he gulped, his mind rushing back to the sounds of her passion echoing off the wooden walls of that old barn...


David glanced at her, trying to read her face. She seemed to be in a hurry to leave; was it because of him? Or did she have something...or someone better to look forward to?


He knew the answer, but he tried to push it out of his mind.


“Did you have a good time at the party? It was quite lovely, didn't you think?” he muttered, glaring at the stack of paperwork strewn across his desk with disdain.


“It was,” she said dreamily. “Did you ring in the new year with a special lady?”


“I, uh...” His mind went blank.
I did, he thought. “I fell ill and went back to the barracks.”

“Oh, no,” Lyneth stepped toward him and laid her hands on his shoulders. “Are you better?”


“Much, thank you,” he swallowed hard, feeling the heat of her palms through the cotton of his shirt. “Just a touch of cold...”


“I'm sorry to hear that, David. Did you have to work the next day?" she removed her hands and unpinned her hat, tucking it into her coat pocket before fixing the errant strands of hair falling from her clip.


“No, I was able to rest. And you? Was your day pleasant?” A slight edge of bitterness slipped from his usually smooth voice.


“Yes, Ava and I had tea and gossiped." Lyneth wondered if Paul had intimated to David about the kiss. A part of her wanted to get his thoughts on this friendship gone awry.


David smiled warmly at the thought of the girls giggling over tea. "Sounds lovely. You are done for the day, yes?”


“Yes, thank goodness. I’m exhausted. Hope to have a bit of a rest this afternoon - Adam wants to take me dancing tonight but I’m not sure I’ll make it past half eight...”


“Aye. Five in the morning comes early,” David nodded, doing very well to hide the hurt in his voice at the mention of Adam. “I’m sure you’ll catch your second wind after some tea - you love dancing...”


“You're probably right,” Lyneth smiled and David’s face softened for a brief moment. “I just need to rest my feet for a few hours, but they'll be right as rain for tonight. I will need to tell Adam that he needs to bring me home a bit earlier tonight...” Her cheeks reddened. "Last night was a bit late.”


David tugged at his collar, feeling a bit ill. "Ehm, where do you go dancing?"


He was dying to change the subject


“I wonder if they do that swing dancing Ava mentioned?” David mused. He daydreamed for a moment about literally sweeping Lyneth off her feet - a joy on her face just like the girls he’d seen on the newsreels.


“Oh, I don’t think so. I heard that scene is still quite underground,” Lyneth leaned in with a whisper. Her face was so close he could see the tiny lines around her eyes that deepened when she smiled.


“Ava said that she's done it before.” He was eager to keep their conversation and proximity going.


“It doesn’t surprise me. Ava gets up to a lot of things she shouldn’t get up to...”


David raised his eyebrows.


“Are you referring to Paul?”


“It's just not right, David. He knows that she's spoken for...” Lyn protested, her arms crossing over her chest. “A promise is a promise.”


He nodded reluctantly, returning to his chair and the reams of paperwork. He daren’t open his mouth, lest he say something regretful.


“Well, I’m sorry but I really must run. Need to put my feet up for a bit before my date arrives,” Lyneth smiled as she shrugged her coat over her shoulders.


David noticed a distinct twinkle in her eye as the words
‘my date’ came out of her mouth. He found himself tongue-tied as he gazed at her lips - how he longed to kiss them and silence all thoughts of Adam...

“See you tomorrow, David?” Lyneth interrupted his internal musings.


“Oh...yes. Will do, Lyn. Have a nice time tonight,” David managed, pressing his pen into the pad of paper in front of him so hard that it ripped the page.


Lyneth didn’t notice as she waved goodbye, nearly floating out of the room with that sick, sweet smile on her face.


David sighed, staring at the piles of work which sat dauntingly before him.


It was going to be a long day.



* * * * *


David could not wait for them to get to the pub. Perhaps then Paul would shut his mouth. Since New Year’s Eve, he had been impossible to tolerate - giddy like a schoolgirl and bouncing off the walls. Paul paced beside his bunk, tapping at his wrist watch every minute. He was impatient for the others to get ready for the night out - and it was driving the rest crazy.


David lagged behind the others. A part of him longed to see Lyneth, but Adam was lumbering ahead of him. He didn't fancy seeing the lovers united; their secret gazes and caresses were more than David could bear. He ran a finger over the paper in his pocket and took a deep breath as the White Hart loomed before him.


Paul burst through the door as if he owned the place, leading his three friends to the table where Lyneth was seated, as always. Ava must still be backstage, he thought. He considered slipping back to give her a preshow kiss - his lips burned to touch her again. It was all he could think about in the frigid bubble of the fighter plane. Only David knew of their kiss. Until Ava rid herself of Dick, Paul needed to be cautious. Maybe tonight she'd invite him to stay with her. Who needed whiskey with that possibility?


As David feared, Lyneth and Adam's bond was stronger after their tryst in the barn. Usually he greeted her with a peck on the cheek, maybe her lips. Tonight, David had to witness an open mouthed kiss that lingered far too long.


Why did I come?
he mourned.

At least in his bunk, he could spin dreams of kissing her and loving her. Things were still hopeful in the solace of the barracks, unlike the ugly reality that played out before him.


Ava peered through the curtain to see the boys take their seat. Her breath caught in her throat as she saw Paul's wide smile. What could a few more kisses hurt? The memory of his hands on her body was all she could think of. If he kissed like that, what else could he do? She shook her head, she couldn't lead him on. If Richard found out, Ava wasn't sure what he was capable of doing to Paul. Sure, Paul's pride would hurt, but at least his face would be spared.


Lately, Ava had rushed to Lyneth's table after a set, eager to be with Paul. Tonight, she forced herself to take her time as she moved around the pub wishing everyone a Happy New Year. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Paul fidget and crane his neck to see her. Eventually she would have to join them - and he would attempt to get her alone.


"Evening boys," Ava's gaze lingered on David. He seemed like a neutral place to look.

Paul pulled out the empty seat beside him; it would be incredibly rude not to accept his offer. She felt Lyneth's disapproving eyes as Paul casually left his arm on the back of her chair.

"How was your New Year’s Day?" His breath tickled her neck.


She smiled to no one in particular. "Lovely. Lyneth came by for tea and breakfast. It was a nice, quiet day. And yours?"


"We had to get ready to fly that night. No holidays for us," Paul said.


She finally looked directly at him. The thought of him being fired upon churned her stomach moreso than any danger Richard might be in.


"You flew?"


"The other night. Don't worry, love...I always come home," he winked.


Looking into his eyes, Ava wanted to forget the conversation she had with Lyneth. Richard was far from here. Surely if he was due home, she'd know....right? A kick under the table brought her dream to the an abrupt end.


Ava flashed her patent smile. "That's good, darling. I'd hate to see a good man down."


"Are you sure?" he muttered huskily.


Just one more kiss, she thought. She cleared her throat.


"I'm parched, sugar. Can you fetch a girl a drink?"


"For you, absolutely," Paul promised before darting to the bar.


Ava knew that she would have to make herself scarce when he returned or risk another bruised shin.


"Thank you, you're such a sweetheart," Ava patted Paul's cheek before leaving for the stage.


His mouth hung open, a response lingering on his tongue - but she was gone. He was wrapped around every one of her fingers, and dying to get her alone.


* * * * *


"You're still being rather flirtatious," Lyneth commented earlier in the powder room.


"I am just being myself, Lyneth. It would seem peculiar if I weren't playful. I'm trying to stay away," Ava sighed as she applied another coat of red to her lips.


"He's absolutely smitten. You'll have to talk to him," Lyneth said.


Ava nodded tersely. Like she should be taking relationship advice from someone who had recently had sex in a barn. Secretly, she was jealous. Lyneth was able to be with the man she wanted. She didn't need to understand duty.


"Whatever you do or say, it needs to be tonight, Ava."


“Yes Lyneth, it will be done," Ava said through gritted teeth.


The girls walked back out to join the rest of them, Ava dragging a bit behind Lyneth, the usual spring in her step just a bit less prominent than usual.


“Lyneth, there you are,” Adam smiled as he pulled out a chair for her. She jumped into it eagerly, easing it closer to him as she let her head fall comfortably onto his shoulder. She fit with him now, and as he slinked his arm around her, she nuzzled closer still, a blush crossing her cheeks as she met David’s eyes and just as quickly looked away.


David ran his finger over the condensation on his glass of whiskey, he’d been nursing it for a while and all the ice had melted. He took a deep breath before taking a sip, willing himself not to look back in their direction. He knew this day would come, having to see them together like this after their indiscretion in the barn; he’d hoped secretly that she’d regret it and it would somehow drive them apart, but to the contrary, it had brought them sickeningly closer together.


His willpower didn’t last long as he felt the need to sneak another look at Lyneth - her long slender neck exposed as she threw her head back in laughter.


That neck.


David swallowed and closed his eyes, as visions of her throwing her head back in ecstasy that night in the barn entered his head. When he thought about what he’d done he felt his cheeks grow hot. What if someone had walked in? And worse still, what if Lyneth or Adam had found him? What was he thinking?


He was losing his mind over her. Maybe he was becoming more and more obsessed with her because she was unattainable - thoughts of her would keep him going when he needed it most. He knew that it wouldn’t be long until he was looking death in the face - what more would there be to think about in the trenches but touching that soft, beautiful skin and kissing those full, luscious lips?

Out of the corner of his eye, David watched helplessly as Adam placed a kiss on those lips. That sight alone stopped the tightening in his trousers.


Get real
, David thought. If you wait to touch Lyn, you'll be dead and cold first.

Even if he did touch her, would he even know what to do? Back at school he was much more into his studies than into birds. He'd never so much as laid a finger on a woman in a sexual manner beyond hand holding; kissing Denise McIntyre in fifth class didn't count. She’d pushed him away and told him he was a horrible kisser.


That one’s too much of a bookworm to find time for women, so he is.

I can’t see him ever finding a nice lass and settling down, it’s just not in the cards for that one.

I think he’s a bit queer, myself.


David had heard it all.


“Hey Dave,” Adam interrupted his inner lament. “Whatever happened to you and that brunette?”


“Remember, I wasn't feeling well. I went home.” His answer was clipped.


“Are you seeing her again?” Adam pressed on.


“I work with her, so I imagine that I will at some point.”


David wished Adam would shut his mouth.


“She's very pretty,” Lyneth added, raising her eyebrows. That was all he needed - Lyn’s encouragement.


“She is...” his voice trailed off. He looked to Ava for help, but she seemed lost in her own thoughts.


Dave’s attention turned to her - he watched as she squirmed in her seat. She seemed nervous about something, her usual cool exterior masked by some type of inner torment.


While Paul's arm curled around her, Ava seemed stiff and distant. David wondered if her brothers had been sent to the front lines, or even Richard. But knowing Ava, she'd never keep that to herself.


No, this was about Paul. Whenever he touched her or her gaze swept across him, pain flashed in her eyes. Whatever was going on?


She excused herself to the stage once more for her set. David had never seen her so disengaged before. No one else seemed to notice, but David knew something was very wrong.


* * * * *


"Hey gorgeous," Ava heard behind her.


This was inevitable. Taking a deep breath she turned around. Paul's shy grin weakened her knees.


"Hello yourself," she said while her mind searched for how to begin.


"I was hoping to get a few seconds alone. You've been rather busy tonight."


"First show of the new year," she took his hand. "Listen...Paul...about the other night."

He had said those words often enough to know that nothing good followed them. He had not expected it from her. Was she in the habit of snogging service men, then leaving them to wither? Was she the female version of him?

Regardless of what was said, he would need to recover his pride quickly.


"I can't move forward into a relationship. I'm spoken for, and it's not fair to you. I'm sorry if I lead you to believe that we..." her voice trailed off. His bravado could not hide the hurt in his eyes.


"Ava, please. It's fine. We were just messing...having a bit of fun," he shrugged.


"I wish things were different," her voice cracked.


Me too, he thought. Just when he was starting to believe someone like her could care for a scamp like him.


"Ava, really...it's all right. I knew you were engaged. We're having some laughs. That's all." He looked at his watch. "It's late. I better head back."


He kissed her cheek. "See you later?"


"Um, yeah." Ava was speechless by his reaction. While he kept his tone light, she heard an anger in his voice. He didn't give her chance to say anything to else disappearing as quickly as he appeared.


David noticed that something was wrong the moment he saw Paul's face. The wry smile was gone while a darkness extinguished his bright eyes.


"It's getting late," he announced. "I think I'm heading back. I have early call tomorrow."


"You're leaving now?" David asked. "What about Ava?"


"I already said goodbye to her."


The finality in his voice caused a chill to run down David' s spine. He scrambled to his feet.


"I should go too. I've an early shift."


"You can stay if you like."


Paul wasn't sure he wanted company on his walk home.


"You'll get lost if you go by yourself," David dismissed him, trying to lighten the mood.


"Suit yerself," he shrugged. He looked to the rest of the table. "See ya later."


Paul left the bar like it was in flames.


Larry frowned. "Odd for someone chomping at the bit to get here."


Lyneth knew exactly what happened. The look in Ava's eyes when she saw Paul's empty chair further confirmed it.


Most nights, Paul was the last to leave, hoping to spend as much time with Ava as possible. While Ava's sets were done, the pub didn’t close for another half hour. She decided to make another round to the patrons to take her mind off Paul. No matter what she did, she could not erase the hurt in his eyes. She wasn’t sure what she regretted most - being betrothed to Richard; or meeting Paul and knowing the difference.


* * * * *


David had to run to catch up with Paul once outside the pub.


"You could have stayed," Paul grumbled, "I can find my own way back."


"I have to be up early too," David justified.


They walked in silence for a few minutes. Paul's breath trailed behind him like the steam from a train. He knew it was coming, he could feel David searching for the right words.


"What happened back there?" David asked simply.


Paul knew that to pretend it was nothing was futile. He wished he hadn't bolted from the White Hart so quickly as it made it abundantly obvious that there was something wrong.


"I don't want to talk about it."


David would not be satisfied to let it lie.


"What happened between you and Ava? You couldn't wait to see her tonight,” he pried.


"And I saw her." The bitterness seeped into his voice.


David grabbed his arm. "Paul, stop. What is it?"


"Leave it, Dave," Paul sighed.


He didn't want to think about it, let alone discuss it.


"She said something backstage that upset you," David coaxed, knowing the answer before he spoke.


Her words echoed through Paul's head, "I am sorry but..." It didn't matter that she

looked upset as she said them, because she said them. At that moment, he didn't care how she felt. He had put everything out there for her to take and she refused him. All the opportunities he passed up in favor of her, just to be in her company.

"Paul, you have to know that she's in a tough spot," David tried to explain. "Whatever was said, I know she cares for you loads."


Paul grabbed David by the lapels of his jacket. "I said to leave it, Dave. I thought she was different, but she's like the rest. So, shut your gob about it! All right?"


David nodded numbly as Paul shoved him aside. He clamped his mouth shut for the remainder of the walk. Once Paul realized David was going to be quiet, his pace slowed.


David hated seeing Paul so unhappy. The last time Paul was in this state was the night he decided to join David in the war effort. For David, it was not a matter of choice. He was born an English citizen and it was his duty. Paul just had another terrible row with his father resulting in a bloody nose and black eye. He had said that it spared Larry their father’s drunken tirade. It also made him decide, perhaps hastily, to leave with David and take Larry along. He'd been a defiant and angry mood that night - just like tonight.


Paul grabbed a handful of rocks and tossed them as far as he could. They stopped in front of what was a chemist before the bombings. Paul eyed the last unbroken pane of glass and launched his biggest stone. The shattering sound echoed his heart. In the distance, a dog barked, then a few others joined in.


"I miss mum," Paul said sullenly. "There are no women like that anymore."


David didn’t respond, but he wanted so badly to defend Ava. He knew she was a good person and good for Paul. He needed to talk with Ava to get things back on track. Perhaps it was simply miscommunication.


Finally, Paul was tucked into his thin mattress. David heard him creak and toss in the bunk beside him.
 
oh no! : ( I didn't want Ava to do it... but she kind of had to. It's not her fault! and can't something ever go right for David? : ...( such a sad chapter, but a very good one. keep it up I can't wait for more!!!
 
:waiting: Well it's about bloody time!



:love: But worth the wait. Love me the drama. Lyn and Adam are just the right amount of sickeningly close.
 
Aw, dammit, I missed when this chapter was posted. Oh well, I've read it now. Love the characters' thoughts. There was more said in their mental feelings and such than in the dialogue, which I liked.

David was right when he thought he was losing his mind over Lyneth. I think he needs to back away for a moment... But I feel sorry for his low self-esteem (on the relationship front, anyway). I feel sorry for Paul, too, but it had to happen... I kind of want to hug him now :p
 
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